(Alas, it appears that the joyous age of ice cream cake and tomato cans has come and gone.)

Since entering the UFC almost a year ago to the day and bringing with him an unprecedented amount of hype (and one hefty price tag to boot), former Bellator middleweight kingpin Hector Lombard has been through some pretty tough times. After seeing his 25-fight win streak snapped via boredom in his UFC debut, Lombard scored a rebound TKO victory over Rousimar Palhares before succumbing to the patented grapplefuckery of Yushin Okami at UFC on FUEL 8. 

And although Dana White is not ready to label Lombard a bust just yet — and rightfully so, for Okami can and has grapplefucked the best of ‘em — it’s become quite apparent that Lombard isn’t quite the eater of worlds that he was made out to be in Bellator. Then again, when you’re paired up against guys like Trevor Prangley and “Whisper” Goodman, it’s hard not to build such a reputation. In either case, it appears that Lombard has realized that at just 5’8″, perhaps the middleweight division isn’t where he belongs anymore.

“They said they’d stand in front of me so we could exchange blind haymakers, and that we’d go to Arby’s after the fight…but then they started wrestling me, and they all went to Subway afterwards and didn’t even invite me!” *sobs*

Today is a new day, which means Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson has new shit to complain about. You know the drill by now: The guy who made over $15 million in eleven UFC fights feels he isn’t being treated fairly, and needs the entire world to know how difficult it is to be Rampage. I guess I’d be mad too if my shoes were so ugly, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to hear him constantly play the victim.

Last week, Rampage decided to vent about the unfair treatment he received from Mike Dolce. Yep, the same Mike Dolce who hasn’t even worked with Jackson in over two years. The same Mike Dolce who helped Rampage cut 45 pounds in only eight weeks, saving Rampage the embarrassment of being overweight for his fight against Rashad Evans. That Mike Dolce.

(Vitor’s shorts say “Jesus,” but his abs say “Nutella and banana on rye.”)

By Jonathan Shrager

Though he first landed on our radars as a competitor on TUF 7, fighter/trainer Mike Dolce has become much more famous for The Dolce Diet — the health and nutrition system he employs to help MMA stars hit their weight limits while retaining peak performance on fight-day. Fresh off his wizard-like guidance of Thiago Alves earlier this month, we decided to get the Living Lean author on the phone to find out exactly how he does it. Enjoy…

JONATHAN SHRAGER: Hi Mike, thanks for taking the time to talk with us. You are arguably the most renowned nutritionist in MMA nowadays.
MIKE DOLCE: Well, thank you. I prefer “performance coach” actually, but people often refer to me as a nutritionist because I’ve become synonymous with The Dolce Diet, so I understand why. I do quite a bit, including nutrition and Strength & Conditioning.

So who is the current crop of fighters that you’re working with?
Thiago Alves, of course, with whom I travelled to England. Chael Sonnen, Vitor Belfort, Jake Ellenberger, Jay Hieron, Mike Pyle, and I started working with Jorge Masvidal in advance of his Strikeforce lightweight title fight with Gilbert Melendez. Jorge is a great guy and a super-talented athlete.

I recently interviewed Jorge, and he confessed his love of junk food including McDonald’s. Have you ever caught him attempting to eat any junk food behind your back? Is his love for McDonald’s difficult to contain?
Haha! No, Jorge is very committed to performing at the top of his potential. He is so dedicated to his craft, there is nothing to pull him off course. But he did admit his love of McDonald’s to me and we agreed that would be his victory celebration.

Post-fight, do you allow your fighters a little leeway to have a week off and eat what they want? Do you yourself ever celebrate with the fighters by eating some greasy or sugary foods?
Yes, I employ a principle of earned meals, a concept established to allow athletes or individuals to enjoy a meal that may not be consistent with their goals. For my athletes, I usually give them until Wednesday after the fight to ignore my phone calls before we start dialing their lifestyle back in. The great thing about guys or girls who follow The Dolce Diet, is that they lose the old cravings for junk and instead just look for larger portions of what we’ve been eating all camp. After a fight, I’ll usually indulge in a burger or slice of pizza with the team, but that’s usually because we don’t leave the venue until after midnight and our options are limited.

Following his fight with Frank Mir, Dana White suggested that Roy Nelson should try to make 205 lbs in an attempt to rejuvenate himself and his career. Roy subsequently claimed that this would require him to lose a limb, but now he says he’ll try to do it if he gets enough Facebook fans. Would you be the man to help Roy shed the belly?

(Man, Rampage is looking ROUGH these days.) 

A fighter’s lifestyle is all about two things: discipline and sacrifice, especially when it comes to the food one eats. Those cookies ‘n cream Oreo fudge brownies your grandma used to make? Now a distant memory. That chili cheese Frito pie you used to eat right out of the bag? A thing of the past. And don’t even get us started on that fast food lasagna you and your buddies got drunk and made last weekend. But fret not, Potato Nation, for newly re-signed UFC bantamweight Miguel Torres is here to show you how to make a meal that will satisfy your inner beast without making you look like Paul Daley at the weigh-ins.

Today’s dish, “Pork Spare Ribs with Tomatillo Chile Sauce.”

We gotta say, if Miguel feels the need to quote Workaholics again in the near future,  he could easily grab a spot on the next season of Celebrity Cook Off. Join us after the jump to learn how to make Vitor Belfort and Mike Dolce’s infamous “East Coast Breakfast Toast.”

(‘You guys want something to drink? A dozen shots of tequila, maybe? It’s how I test people’s ethical fiber. Just a thing I do.’)

UFC president Dana White appeared on the Carmichael Dave sports talk radio show to talk about the UFC’s global expansion, this season of The Ultimate Fighter, and of course do a little EliteXC/Kimbo Slice bashing. You know, a normal day. He also found himself defending the decision not to kick Junie Browning off the show, and followed it up with a justification for the plentiful alcohol in the TUF mansion:

A lot of people are horrified that I didn’t kick Junie off the show. …I’ll tell you exactly how this thing works. I never know what’s going on at the house unless something bad happens. I see what happened at the house when you guys see. The way it works is something bad happens, they call me, and they say, ‘Something bad happened. We need you.’ I go to the gym, they have a tape queued up and ready for me, I watch what happened. Then I drive over to the house and I deal with it.

So this happened, I drive over to the house…I get out of my car, I walk in, and [TUF producer] Andrea [Richter] is like, ‘Okay, we got it all set up, we got his flight home,’ and I’m like, ‘Andrea, I don’t know if I’m going to kick him off.’ She was like, ‘What!?’ I mean, everybody was ready. Everybody knew I was kicking him off.

I said, ‘I don’t know what’s up with me. But I’m going to walk in there and I’m going to wing it. I’m going to see how this kid acts and then I’ll make a decision. …I thought he was going to be a punk. But he wasn’t. …You’ll see what happens later in the season.

Naturally, White also claims that this is the best season they’ve ever done, repeating the claim, “we came off with a kid at 155 pounds who could be the next Anderson Silva.”

Asked whether that might be Junie, since he seems to be the most talented guy in the house, White responded, “But he’s not. He’s not the most talented guy. See, that’s the thing, everybody thought I was talking about Junie.”

Then White went on the offensive against those who criticize the UFC’s policy of providing copious amounts of free alcohol to pro athletes locked up in a house with no distractions.