Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

Tag: Mike Goldberg

Caption Contest: Say Farewell to Bin Laden With These New Shirts From Ranger Up

Osama Bin Laden t-shirt ranger up waldo
(Above: The Waldo. Below: The Navy SEAL Bin Laden shirt, and the “We Will Not Fail” shirt. Click the links to learn more and see rear-views.)
Osama Bin Laden dead t-shirt Ranger Up Osama Bin Laden t-shirt 5.1.11 ranger up

On May 1st, 2011, terrorist mastermind Osama Bin Laden was finally brought to justice — American-style, with a bullet to the head. Here in New York, it was like we had won the World Cup or something. Years from now, you’ll probably want to have something to remind you of this triumphant, bizarre, overwhelming moment in our country’s history. That’s where Ranger Up comes in. We’ve featured their patriotically ass-kicking shirts on this site before; now they’re releasing three brand-new designs, perfect for wearing while you’re pissing on the graves of murderers.

R.U. is giving us one shirt of each new style to pass along to you fine people. You know the deal: Check out the photo after the jump of Mike Goldberg and Matt Lindland chillin’ in New Jersey, and submit a humorous caption in the comments section by tomorrow at midnight ET. We’ll announce the winners on Thursday. Can you defeat your fellow Potato Nation members in a battle of wits? Well, let’s see what you got. For more manly apparel, check out RangerUp.com.

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WEC 48 Is Too Important to Be Handled by the WEC


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Just a week after we learned that Stephan Bonnar is permanently replacing Frank Mir as color-commentator for the WEC, it’s been announced that the UFC’s Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg will be handling the talking-head duties for WEC 48. Headlined by the featherweight title fight between Jose Aldo and Urijah Faber, and the lightweight title fight between Ben Henderson and Donald Cerrone, WEC 48 will be the organization’s first attempt at charging a shitload of money for their product. You may have already noticed that the show’s video promos feature Dana White and Joe Rogan — not anybody directly related to the WEC — and for the most part, the UFC will be promoting this card. Sorry, Reed. As soon as it’s time to promote your next not-nearly-as-relevant event, it’s all you again

The presence of Joe and Mike won’t be the only similarity between WEC 48 and a UFC pay-per-view. Apparently, Spike TV will be broadcasting two fights from the preliminary card, directly before the PPV broadcast: Former featherweight title challenger Leonard Garcia will welcome "The Korean Zombie" Chan Sung Jung into the WEC, while UFC vet Alex Karalexis faces off against Anthony Pettis, who scored the Knockout of the Night at WEC 47.

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Videos: El Guapo Likes to Dance, Mike Goldberg Likes to Say Stuff Without Thinking

As much as we were hoping that this Bas Rutten video thing was a 42-part series from Fight Magazine, they seem to have reached a zenith with this video.  It’s titled "El Guapo Likes to Dance," after a song that Bas says he wrote.  "Stairway to Heaven" it ain’t, but it’s catchy and the accompanying footage also proves that it’s true.  Our prediction?  You will mock this video at first and then go about your day thinking nothing of it.  Then, about four hours from now when you’re doing the last of your frantic Christmas shopping at the dollar store, you’ll catch yourself singing it and bopping your head along with the beat.  That’s when you’ll look up and see everyone watching you, horrified and yet transfixed.  

For more of Rutten’s world, go here.  After the jump, the Mike Goldberg highlight reel that tells you everything you need to know.

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Videos: Mike Goldberg in ‘Legally Blonde’, Mousasi on the Steroid-Donkey + More


(Props: CagePotato reader "David D.")

There are some things in this mad, mad world that we’ll never fully understand. Like, for example, why the movie Legally Blonde had to be adpated into a musical. Or why UFC play-by-play man Mike Goldberg took a singing role in a low-rent production of that musical. Skip to the 1:59 mark of the above video for Goldie’s star turn as the lead character’s argyle-socked father. Seriously, WTF? Did Mike lose a fight-picking bet to Joe Rogan? Does he direct community theatre on the weekends, and did the actor who was actually supposed to play the role call in sick that night? Did Guffman ever show up? We need answers, and the Internet is giving us nothing.

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The 10 Worst Commentary Moments in MMA History

#10: Frank Trigg‘s stunned disbelief
Affliction: Banned, 7/19/08

It’s not that Trigg’s reaction when Fedor started landing bombs on Tim was inappropriate; in fact, this was pretty much how we reacted during the fight. But when you’re being paid actual money to give insightful commentary about a sporting event, the viewers at home deserve a little better than "OH! OH-HO! OH-HO! OH-HO-NO-HO! OH!" Especially when you consider that this is a recurring trend with Trigg — when crazy shit goes down, the eloquence-train flies off the tracks, so to speak.

#9: Mike Goldberg tells us how precise Anderson Silva‘s precision is

The answer: Really. It’s really precise. Man, sometimes Mike is better off keeping his mouth shut until it’s time to ask Joe Rogan whether or not a fighter’s arm is in trouble. By the way, if you can watch that video for all ten minutes, we’ll send you a t-shirt.

#8: Kimbo Slice fails third-grade geography 
K-1′s World Grand Prix 2008 Final, 12/6/08

Kimbo Slice City of Japan
(Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a working video of this moment. Hopefully this Esther Lin/Lolcats mashup will be sufficient.)

Okay, give Kimbo a break. The man was extremely jet-lagged, and he clearly meant "the prefecture of Japan known as Kanagawa, which has Yokohama as its capital, where we are right now." It’s not like he asked co-commentator Michael Schiavello what the fuck up with all the Chinese people in the building. That would have been embarrassing. And speaking of which…

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Mike Goldberg Is Driving Us to Drink

Mike Goldberg MMA UFC
(He’s the one in the creepy Jesus t-shirt. Photo courtesy of the UFC 96: Friday Night Preparties set on CombatLifestyle.com.)

SackMikeGoldberg is a new-ish blog by BloodyElbow writer Mike Fagan that specializes in dissing Goldie’s clumsy UFC commentary and the middle-school-caliber writing level of MMA bloggers. (Damn, bro — shoot fish in a barrel much?) Of particular interest is the site’s official drinking game, which does seem like it would get you fucked up in short order:

Take a drink if Mike…
 
-Says, “Here we go!”
-Says, “It’s all over!”
-Plugs a non-UFC entity during a fight
-Warns, “Watch the upkick(s)!”
-Says anything that Joe directly and immediately refutes
-Mentions Randy Couture or Chuck Liddell (disregard during a Liddell or Couture fight or if Couture is in the broadcast booth)
-References the “official” UFC stats during the main event
-Calls someone a “future UFC hall-of-famer”
-Brings up Griffin/Bonnar I
-Asks “Can he finish?”
-Tells Joe that you can “make the argument”
-Says, “Virtually identical.”
 
Finish your drink if Mike…
 
-Doesn’t make you take a drink during a fight that lasts longer than one minute.

To prevent a bad hangover the next morning, we recommend drinking a glass of water every time Mike throws it to "the veteran voice of the Octagon, Bruce Buffer." Though you should definitely do a shot of bottom-shelf tequila every time Goldberg does something that makes his partner visibly uncomfortable.

Now who wants to make the Joe Rogan drinking game?

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Videos: The Enemy Speaks, Ryan Couture Scores His Second Win + More

CagePotato readers Jeb R. and Jamie sent in the above footage of Bob "Boooooooo!" Reilly‘s press conference from Friday, in which the New York Assemblyman compared MMA to prostitution, argued that the sport would actually be economically harmful to the state, and claimed that it would breed more violence in society. All incredibly valid points from a well-informed, not-at-all-senile government official. (Reilly also says that he could fill the Pepsi Arena for a dogfight, which, if that’s true, he might consider leaving the bureaucracy field for the more glamorous and lucrative world of fight promotion.) It’s one thing to read about this joker on our website; it’s quite another to hear these specious non-arguments come out of his mouth. Again, sign our petition if you haven’t yet for some reason, and if you can keep your emotions in check and your arguments high-minded, feel free to get in touch.

Below: Randy Couture‘s son Ryan increased his amateur MMA record to 2-0 on February 15th with this second-round submission victory over fellow lightweight Art Martinez at a Tuff-N-Uff event in Las Vegas; the fight starts at the 3:48 mark. Watch as Couture almost locks in a triangle in the first round, then an armbar, but Martinez manages to survive until the bell. (Damn those two-minute rounds.) It’s all good, though — Couture immediately takes advantage of some bad positioning by Martinez in the second frame, and it’s tap or nap.


(Props: XtremeCouture.wordpress.com)

After the jump: UFC announcer Mike Goldberg unwinds after Saturday’s show by working some Muay Thai combos with a training partner. In a crowded bar.

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UFC 91: The Only Liveblog That Counts


(You ready for this? Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

We are live at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas for an extra-special, on-the-scene liveblog of UFC 91. What does that mean for your life? It means preliminary results, witty observations about crowd members, and constant updates as to what Arianny Celeste is up to throughout the night. At the same time, I don’t want to miss out on all your hilarious quips about the live broadcast, including but not limited to the banter between Joe Rogan and the century man, Mike Goldberg, so please fill me in with your comments.

Liveblog begins after the jump. Hit refresh often. If you don’t want the prelims spoiled for you…too bad. Just suck it up and deal.

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Quick Hits: Sherk Talks CSAC’s Garcia, Goldie Hits 100, and Tonya Evinger Wants to Punch Somebody


(We love a woman who loves to party.)

- One man who won’t be sorry to see California State Athletic Commissioner Armando Garcia go is Sean Sherk, who still feels like he got a raw deal on his steroid case thanks to Garcia and his bungling of the appeals process. Sherk told MMA Rated that he “knew the guy had some issues” that would lead to his eventual removal, and now Sherk’s “glad to see that is finally taking place.” The sad irony is that it most likely wasn’t Garcia’s incompetence that got him in trouble so much as his ill-fated inter-office romance.

- Guess which over-stimulated, hyperbolic UFC announcer will be celebrating his 100th broadcast at UFC 91 on Saturday night? Did you guess Mike Goldberg? Damn, you’re good. UFC.com has an interesting article that looks at how Goldie went from some dude in front of a microphone who knew nothing about MMA to some dude in front of a microphone who is at least better than Mauro Ranallo. The best part of the article is hearing it all straight from Goldberg, who apparently loves mixing metaphors even when he’s not working. On why he stuck with the UFC even after the WWE made him a lucrative offer:

I can equate it to maybe playing for the Cincinnati Bengals and being 3-13 and 4-12, and finally you think you’ve got a team that might make it to the postseason. Do you bail and go to the Patriots or 49ers at that point, or do you say ‘the ship is sailing and is about to find a really cool island – do I want to jump off that ship now or see where it’s gonna land?’

Wait, are we still talking about the UFC?

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Bill Goldberg: Still an Idiot

The esteemed EliteXC commentator freezes up while looking at dancing girls, stammers like Foghorn Leghorn, and will not give up his microphone.

If you missed part 1, click here. We’d also like to direct you to our new homepage poll, over on the right. Sure, Mike has sucked for a lot longer, but Bill has the potential to reach new depths of awfulness. Let us know how you feel.

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