MMA

(Photo courtesy of ajc.com. Tie courtesy of Elton John.)

Heisman Trophy winner, two-time NFL Pro Bowl selection, Olympic bobsledder, Dissociative Identity Disorder sufferer, Celebrity Apprentice contestant, Tae Kwon Do black belt, and American Kickboxing Academy student Herschel Walker will make his MMA debut on January 30th at a Strikeforce event to be held at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida. The news was announced yesterday via press release, though Walker's opponent has yet to be named. The only other match tied to the card at this point is Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos's 145-pound title defense against Marloes Coenen.

As Dana White pondered when Walker's Strikeforce signing was first announced: "Which athletic commission is going to let this guy fight? Who the fuck are they going to find to fight Herschel Walker? A guy in a wheelchair?” We now know the answer to the first question is "Florida," the state that previously signed off on Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock at the same venue last October. As for Dana's other hypotheticals, we hope that Herschel Walker's opponent has some kind of disability, considering that Walker has only been training in MMA since last month, and it wouldn't really be fair to make him fight a guy who has both fighting experience and the use of all of his limbs. I mean, if Strikeforce really wants to put Walker against Fedor Emelianenko in the spring, they'd better give him a beatable first opponent.

(Melanson and Parisyan, before it all fell apart. Props: elitefts.com)

In a new interview with Five Ounces of Pain, Karo Parisyan's longtime friend and training partner Neil Melanson confirmed that Parisyan's latest last-minute fight-cancellation was directly related to the painkiller addiction that has haunted him for years. After Melanson got permission from Karo to go public with the story, he laid it all out:

(Antonio Rogerio Nogueira vs. Dan Henderson, 4/23/05)

Of the 22 fighters testing their fates on Saturday night, three of them will be stepping into the Octagon for the first time — but don't expect these guys to crack under the pressure. Read on to meet the MMA veterans and submission experts who will be trying to make dominant first impressions at "Ortiz vs. Griffin II"...

ANTONIO ROGERIO NOGUEIRA (LHW)
Experience: 17-3 record, with notable victories over Dan Henderson, Alistair Overeem (twice), Kazushi Sakuraba, and Vladimir Matyushenko (in January, which avenged his first career loss). Has won his last five fights, most recently submitting Dion Staring via triangle choke in May.
Will be facing: Luis Cane (10-1 with 1 no-contest, 3-1 UFC)
Lowdown: Whether you know him better as "Minotoro" or "Lil' Nog," there's a good chance you're already aware of Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira's twin brother. The 33-year-old veteran of PRIDE, Affliction, and Sengoku has had a decorated career dating back to March 2001, and is considered by many to be one of the ten best light-heavyweights in the world right now. Though Antonio Rogerio comes from a BJJ background like his bro (who he trains with at Black House), four of his last six wins have come via TKO, and he won a bronze medal in boxing at the 2007 Pan American Games. Minotoro hasn't lost a fight since his shock-upset KO defeat against Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou at PRIDE 33, nearly three years ago. Says Rogerio of his UFC debut: “For more than three years, UFC was my goal and now I’m just very happy to be here in the best event. The UFC has the best talent in the world, and I feel like now I’m going to be challenged like I’ve never been challenged before in my career...The fans can expect to see a very well-trained and well-prepared athlete who’s very focused and determined to win."

("...so I said, 'Incurable disease? My God, what's the *good* news?' And the doctor says, 'We're going to name it after you.'")

From the Associated Press:

(Props: wec)

Heads up: WEC 44 goes down next Wednesday in Las Vegas, with featherweight champ Mike Brown defending his belt against terrifying knockout artist Jose Aldo, who has ended all five of his appearences in the WEC via highlight-reel stoppage; his last opponent, Cub Swanson, lasted all of eight seconds. But is Mike Brown scared? Nah. "He's never faced the caliber of fighter that I am," Brownie says. "It's not gonna be an easy fight of course, but if I do my thing, I'm gonna win the fight." Check out the full lineup here.