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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: MMA ads

Power-Ranking Chuck Liddell’s Duralast Commercials By Plausibility


(Yeah, you bet your ass fictionalization! Via Arthurdent.)

If you’ve been watching any Spike TV program lately — be it a Bellator event, a Bar Rescue marathon, or an episode of Auction Hunters (if you’re some kind of masochist) — chances are you’ve caught at least one of Chuck Liddell‘s promo spots for Duralast. Even though he’s been removed from the game some four years now, Liddell remains a more marketable MMA personality than say, Renan Barao (sorry Dana), which makes him the perfect guy to hawk car batteries and brakes. You know, tough guy stuff.

The Iceman being The Iceman, Liddell’s ads have featured the typical mix of stilted line delivery and goofball insanity that we have come to expect of Ol’ Chucky boy. The problem is, some of them take major liberties in regards to the quality of Duralast products, while others are unrealistic to the point of false advertising. Lucky for you, we’re here to clear everything up. Let’s get started.

“Walk the Walk”

First of all, I highly doubt that simply holding a Duracell battery grants one the power necessary to walk through concrete walls. That is not how automotive batteries work. They must first be attached to a power source before they can generate any kind of voltage. In fact, given that the average battery weighs around 40 pounds, I posit that carrying a car battery would only diminish one’s chances of walking through a wall, in that it would severely weaken the carrier, especially in the adverse desert conditions that Liddell appears to be traversing through.

Now, onto the rhino. Rhinos do not live in deserts. They are grazers who seek out savannahs and areas of densely-vegetated, palatable grasses as their habitats. Additionally, white rhinos like the one featured in this ad are pack travelers, but even if this particular rhino were to be separated from its clan and wander into a desert, it would still be impossible to lift said rhino, even in its weakened state, with one hand while carrying a car battery in the other.

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Conor McGregor is a Sensitive Artist in New Irish Heineken Ad [VIDEO]


(Yeah, but can he do *this*? via HeinekenIRE)

When I was watching Conor McGregor put a thorough beatdown on Max Holloway at Fight Night 26 last summer, I remember thinking to myself, “I bet this guy can fold the fuck out of some .090 calendared matt machine coated G-Print.” I used to work at a paper mill.

In any case, I was right, surprise surprise. None other than the Irish phenom himself is featured in a new Heineken ad (entitled “Irish Legend Talent Search”) alongside TV and radio broadcaster Jennifer Maguire and former rugby star Shane Byrne, showcasing his hidden skills as an origamist. If the ad is to be believed, McGregor has apparently spent most of the down time he’s had since tearing his ACL last August folding origami swans (also, calling Diego Sanchez a “fatty”). A noble pursuit if there ever was one.

Check out the commercial above, then let us know where you think it ranks among the likes of such classic MMA ads as “Jon Jones Brutally Kicks Child” and “ANDERSON SILVA SPEAKS ENGLISH?!”

-J. Jones

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[VIDEO] This Bellator on Spike Commercial is a Surprisingly Poignant Display of Violence

Maybe I’m just a sucker for slow motion and piano ballads (except for Coldplay. F*ck Coldplay.), but I must admit that the first advertisement for Bellator’s move to Spike TV in 2013 is a surprisingly well made and dare I say poignant bit of filmmaking coming from the network behind such subtle, highbrow programming as Manswers, 1000 Ways to Die, and those endless goddamn CSI reruns. I get it, Grissom, you’re f*cking smarter than everyone else and can figure out any mystery in twenty minutes, now please stop f*cking showboating SO I CAN TRY TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF GAP TOOTH’S OR GINGER LADY’S TITS ALREADY!!

Anyway, back to the ad. Featuring such familiar faces as lightweight champion Michael Chandler, light heavyweight/TNA superstar King Mo Lawal, and former Strikeforce LHW champ Babalu Sobral among others, the 30 second clip succeeds in getting me amped up for a promotion I have literally been aware of for years now, so a kudos is in order to the gentlemen over at Spike.

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