“On This Day in MMA History” pays tribute to some of the more bizarre and infamous news stories of MMA’s past. The following article was originally published on May 19th, 2012, one year ago today. Note: We’ve placed a few more notable anniversaries at the end of this post.

BREAKING: Jon Jones Arrested for DUI in Binghamton, NY

This doesn’t look good, folks. Initially reported by TMZ.com and confirmed by Josh Gross, UFC Light-Heavyweight champion Jon Jones has been arrested in Binghamton, New York on DUI charges after totaling his Bentley. From TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … Jones was involved in an accident at around 5:00 AM in Binghamton, NY. We’re told the car — which Jones crashed into a pole — was totaled and cops arrested Jones on the scene for DUI.

According to our sources, Jones was taken into custody by Broome County Sheriff and bailed out a few hours later … by his mom. Jones is from nearby Ithaca.

Fortunately for Jones, it appears that he only suffered minor injuries, and it does not appear that anyone else was injured from this accident. It is unclear whether or not there were any passengers in the car at the time of the accident.

As of this writing, Dana White’s only response to the incident has been a text to TMZ, saying “Wow, i guess its not my week is it?”. Given the week he’s had, that may be putting it mildly. Neither Jones nor his teammates will be commenting on the arrest at this time.

(Paul Kelly, leaving his audition for the upcoming Don’ You Go Rounin’ Roun to Re Ro sequel. / Photo via Liverpool Echo)

Paul “Tellys” Kelly, the thickly accented Scouser who compiled a 5-4 record while competing in the UFC as a welterweight and lightweight from 2008-2011, was just convicted of drug-trafficking in his native England, and is currently awaiting sentencing next month. According to the charges filed against him, Kelly — who has maintained his innocence throughout his trial — led a significant heroin dealing operation, in which he and his friend Christopher St John McGirr used couriers to import and distribute heroin. The Liverpool Echo (which Tellys doesn’t seem to hold a very high opinion of) adds more details:

West Derby hard man Paul Kelly had denied being a major heroin dealer after an acquaintance of his was picked up with 1.5kg of import purity drugs in the footwell of his car. But after a four day trial jurors returned unanimous guilty verdicts and he was remanded in custody to await sentence…

During his trial he claimed he earned £100,000 a year and did not need to deal drugs for money. But prosecutor David McLachlan said the fighting money had dried up after he left UFC and ended up losing a “journeyman” bout in India.

(Yep. That pretty much sums it up.) 

God. Damn. It.

Although details are sketchy at best right now, it appears that UFC heavyweight contender/future champion Mark Hunt has been arrested in his native New Zealand and has consequently been denied the Visa that would allow him to fly to Las Vegas, kick Junior Dos Santos’ ass on May 25th, and secure the next shot at Cain Velasquez. The information was passed along by none other than Hunt himself via his Twitter account. Caution: the following contains several naughty words and a noticeable absence of the letter “c.”

Well thanks to a idiot friend of mine I did get arrested. Denied again at airport I’m never helping anymore dikhead mates. This is wat happens wen u have friends that are dikheads the last fukn time I help these mother fkn trouble makers. 

New Zealand: It’s pretty much Stockton, CA with nicer summers.

One night after being dominated by Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Nick Diaz and some of his homies were apparently stopped and detained by police. Diaz tweeted the above photo afterwards — with the caption “Fuck they got us  ” — but later deleted the post. However, two more photos from the incident remain on his Instagram account, which we’ve placed below…

(Caption: “Yes i am on the sidewalk :/ “)

(Daniel Straus mugshot via…hmm…I want to say Jailbase, maybe?)

2013 has already gotten off to a very rocky start for Bellator featherweight Daniel Straus. Just a few days after he was forced to withdraw from his scheduled April 4th title fight against Pat Curran due to a broken hand, Straus was arrested this past Friday in Broward County, Florida, for driving with a suspended license, possession of over 20 grams of cannabis or three grams of synthetic cannabis, possession of MDMA (ecstacy), and drug paraphernalia possession or use.

The 28-year-old Cincinnati native (born Daniel Mason-Straus) was taken to the North Broward Bureau Detention Center in Pompano Beach on a bond of $2,200, and third-degree felony charges were filed yesterday in the Broward County Judicial Circuit Court of Florida. Straus is currently unlisted in the Broward Sheriff’s Office inmate database.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time that Straus has run afoul of the law. As he told ESPN in October:

(And to think, if only Big Dan was at Paul’s side, this whole situation might have been avoided.) 

Good morning, Potato Nation. How was your Christmas? I see that at least a few of you spent it here, arguing about racism, or incomprehensibly ranting about women’s rights, and we thank you for the repeated page views. But if you think you were the only ones whose stockings were stuffed with a bit of vitriol this holiday season, think again, because UFC castaway and all around good guy Paul “Semtex” Daley apparently spent his beating the Christmas spirit out of some local bar patrons.

Sound familiar? According to ESPN’s Josh Gross, Daley has not only been arrested on assault charges stemming from a recent bar fight in his native London, but has been barred from entering the United States until the situation is resolved. This of course means that he will not be participating in Bellator’s upcoming welterweight tournament, although his original opponent, War Machine, had already suffered a leg injury that forced him to postpone their scheduled fight 4 to 6 months. We would say that this is a rather unfortunate turn of events for Bellator, but shit happens when you stack your roster with ex-cons and guys who were thrown out of the UFC for being hotheaded sore losers.

Daley — who could face up to two years in prison if convicted — has yet to make an official statement on the issue, but simply posted the following on the UG:

Rumours. However it seems my next fight will not be for Bellator.

And indeed, Daley has already been booked in the headlining matchup of Cage Contender 16 in Dublin, Ireland on February 23rd. An opponent has yet to be named.

[UPDATE]

(“Blame it on the muh, muh-muh-muh, muh-mushroom tea…” / Wyatt, shown directly after his arrest and in an undated photo from the Del Norte County Sheriffs Office.)

In March 2010, a Northern California-based mixed martial artist named Jarrod Wyatt was arrested and charged with first-degree murder after drilling a hole into the chest of his friend and sparring partner Taylor Powell, removing his heart, tongue, and most of his face, then cooking the heart in a wood stove. ”Satan was in that dude,” Wyatt allegedly told the Del Norte County Police sergeant who responded to the scene. It’s worth mentioning that the incident occurred after Wyatt, Powell, and two other acquaintances got together to drink some psychedelic mushroom tea, and Wyatt became convinced that the world was about to end.

The case has suffered a series of delays resulting from Del Norte District Attorney Jon Alexander tossing out the original charges of murder, aggravated mayhem, and torture (which carried a maximum sentence of 25 years to life in prison), in order to re-file the case to include “special circumstance allegations of mayhem, extreme cruelty and depravity,” which would have brought a potential sentence of life in prison without the possibility of parole. In May, Wyatt was ruled competent to stand trial, and a start date was originally sent for today, September 10th. But on Thursday, September 6th, Wyatt accepted a plea deal in which he pleaded guilty to first degree murder involving mayhem, with a special enhancement for using a weapon, and was sentenced to two consecutive sentences of 25 years to life.

The deal followed an earlier proposed deal from Wyatt’s attorney James Fallman, in which Wyatt would plead guilty to second-degree murder, ultimately serving 41 years to life in prison. But D.A. Jon Alexander wasn’t having that mess. As he told the Times-Standard:

(I’ll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do… suspect me. They’re probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I’m not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching… they’ll see. They’ll see and they’ll know, and they’ll say, “Why, he wouldn’t even harm a fly…”)

After suffering the greatest loss of his storied mixed martial arts career last month — that of his dignity — when he was found nude inside a Mission Viejo church he had destroyed and doused with a fire extinguisher, it appears that charges are finally being pressed against former UFC/Strikeforce fighter and MTV psuedo-reality show host Jason Miller. And they are relatively modest considering both the circumstances of his arrest and the fact that this wasn’t Miller’s first rodeo, if you know what we mean; Miller is being charged with just one count of misdemeanor vandalism for his actions, and is set to appear in court on November 21st.

“Mayhem,” who was released from jail following a brief psychological evaluation, promised to his fans and those concerned that “everything was fine” and that he was “with people that love me, and hope that you will join me. If I ever hurt anyone, I am sorry,” in his first public statement, but hasn’t been heard from since. Fun fact: Miller was arrested almost one year to the day after his aforementioned arrest for putting his sister in a headlock. Apparently that August heat really does drive some people crazy.

Elsewhere on the MMA blotter…

(Seems like a lot of prison tattoos for just 16 days. Impressive.)

UFC flyweight contender Ian McCall was released from jail Thursday, after a 16-day stay resulting from an August 14th arrest for driving on a suspended license and not completing the terms of a previous arrest in 2008. MMA Fighting’s Mike Chiappetta filed his report yesterday and McCall also tweeted in celebration after his release.

“Free at last free at last … time to get back to work,” the Creepy one tweeted Thursday. According to Chiappetta, McCall now faces a year of probation and a $300 fine.

It’s somewhat upsetting to think that McCall served actual jail time for non-violent offenses and citations, while other celebrities get off with none after bludgeoning women. That’s neither here nor there, we suppose, but in any case McCall can get back to his family and MMA career now that he’s been reformed.

In his last fight, McCall lost a decision to Demetrious Johnson June 8th and with it the right to fight for the inaugural UFC flyweight championship.

- Elias Cepeda

(Subtract the fire extinguisher and a pair of trousers and this is basically what happened.) 

No one really knew what to say when news broke that Jason “Mayhem” Miller was arrested in an Orange County church after breaking in, stripping down, destroying the place, and showering the remains in fire extinguisher retardant. They may make pamphlets to tell us if our little Johnny is high, but they sure as shit don’t make them for that situation, and our apathy/confusion toward the news reflected this. Miller had found his way to the blotter before, but this arrest was simply too bizarre to take in all at once. If Rampage Jackson was an episode of World’s Wildest Police Chases, Mayhem was an entire season of Reno 911. Specifically, the episodes featuring Terry.

There was also the fact that we were still digesting the bowlful of crazy that Miller had spewed at Dana White just days before, which truly raised some eyebrows in regards to Miller’s general well being. He had made his history of mental issues public knowledge before, and many of us assumed that it was likely these problems rearing their ugly heads once again when he was arrested. But according to Miller, who released a statement today to address our concerns following his release last week, declared that “everything is fine.” Granted, he also said the same thing to DW just days before his arrest, so take this with a grain of salt. Miller released the following via his Facebook and Twitter.

(Today, the Modern Methodist Church of Southern Viejo. Tommorow, THE WORLD.)

After spending a two-day stint in Orange County jail, complete with psychological evaluations and all, it appears that Jason “Mayhem” Miller has been released after posting the required $20,000 bail earlier today.

Living up to his nickname, Miller was responsible for what will likely become one of the most notorious arrests in MMA History when he was found naked inside a Mission Viejo church Tuesday, which he had both vandalized and sprayed with a fire extinguisher. Oddly enough, officers on the scene stated that Miller seemed to be completely coherent when he was discovered, and are currently awaiting a toxicology report to determine if he was under any mind altering substances at the time the crime was committed. Given the quick turnaround time, we’d guess that he was either on hippie crack or an epic dosage of whip-its.

Dana White, a.k.a the man who broke Mayhem’s heart and unknowingly caused all of this, has yet to comment on Miller’s arrest. Luckily, we’ve done it for him:

I tell you, this f*cking guy, with his f*cking f*ggy pink boas and boom boxes and dance moves and Japanese schoolgirls. He really needs a f*cking clue. It’s bad enough that he lost to f*cking Launchpad McQuack in his last performance, but now he goes out and pulls this sh*t. That’s all I gotta say, except f*ck you, f*ck Josh Gross, and f*ck Fedor. Dana out!

Word has it Mayhem is now accepting requests for birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, art gallery openings, or whatever event you would be willing to shuttle him to through his Facebook page. We’re not sure what it is he will do once he gets there, but you can rest assured that it will not be boring.

-J. Jones

(Nice job, Jason, you’ve gone and gotten yourself fired again, you idiot. Calm down, just calm down…you’ve talked your way out of worse than this, you just gotta think. How to stay relevant, how to stay relevant…OK, it has to be something REALLY out there, you know, something that will totally live up to your zany personality and at the least get you another pilot on MTV…fucking Bisping and his fire extinguishers ruined everything for us…come on, we’ve got to FOCUS!!….Wait…fire extinguishers…….Mayhem, you cheeky bastard, you’ve done it again.) 

Update: Miller’s booking photo is now at the bottom of this post, via TMZ. He looks pretty good, considering.

Well this is surprising.

Just days after urging Dana White to commit suicide, dubbing himself “A warrior for peace and ultimate fighter for justice” and bragging about how he was “happier than I have ever been,” it appears that TUF 14 coach and Bully Beatdown host Jason Miller has been arrested. Again. In a church in Mission Viejo. Naked.

Apparently Miller’s newfound “energy” is fueled by either bath salts or peyote and a touch of the crazy. In either case, we fail to see how this defines putting said energy into “the right things.” Here’s what went down according to TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, the O.C. Sheriff’s Office received a call early this morning from the Mission Hills Church in Mission Viejo about a possible burglary in progress.

When the deputies arrived, we’re told they found the first and second floors covered in white fire extinguisher spray. Cops say the place was also trashed — scattered CDs, books, and broken pictures.

When officers reached the second floor, we’re told they found Miller naked on some couch — totally awake and coherent.  It’s unclear if Miller was under the influence.

A note to all you haters of Michael Bisping: “The Count” doesn’t always prank you, but when he does, it emotionally traumatizes you for life. And Mayhem just got Scott Tenorman’d.

(“Mr. Jones, you mean to tell this court that the only thing you’ve learned in our alcohol education program is that ‘white bitches love fruity shit’?”)

For the second time since his May 19th arrest for drunk driving, UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones has requested — and was granted — a delay for his sentencing date. Jones appeared in Binghamton City Court this morning where he and his attorney Thomas D. Jackson claimed that Jones needs more time to complete his court-mandated alcohol abuse and dependency evaluation. (By the way, it’s only a two-day program, but Jones has just been super busy lately, you know? Super busy.)

Judge Daniel L. Seiden granted the request, and rescheduled Jones’s sentencing to July 31st. The MMA star has already pleaded guilty to his DWI charge, and is expected to receive a one-year conditional discharge and a fine of up to $1,500 in a plea agreement. He’ll also be required to install ignition interlock devices in his vehicles, pay restitution for damages, and attend a victim impact class.

Following his court appearance today, Jones released the following statement through the law firm representing him:

(Say, that reminds me of a joke: What’s bloodshot, greasy, and smells like cologne?)

According to a new report from MMAJunkie, the Las Vegas District Attorney’s office has decided not to file domestic violence charges against veteran UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste. “After our review of the case, we found that there was insufficient evidence to move forward,” said Tess Driver, executive assistant to Las Vegas district attorney Steve Wolfson.

After being arrested on May 26th following an altercation at the Wynn hotel in Las Vegas — and spending the entire day in jail — Celeste claimed that she was simply defending herself when her boyfriend Praveen Chandra choked her twice; Chandra denied Arianny’s version of the events, and claimed that Celeste kicked him in the nose in a limousine. But then you look at their mugshots and all you see is two tired people who should have left the club at midnight, instead of partying to the point of going “crayyyy ha hey bay bayyy.” With no visible injuries to speak of, it seems the Las Vegas authorities decided to just chalk this one up to drunk people acting stupid, or stupid people getting drunk, or both, whatever.

Requests for comment have not been answered by Chandra. Seriously, we found his e-mail address online a few weeks ago and sent him a note about this whole mess, but nothing. WE WILL NOT BE IGNORED, PRAVEEN.

(WORST. ROLE MODEL. EVER.)

You’ve been clamoring for them, Potato Nation, so we figured we might as well deliver. Perhaps no man in MMA has had a more compelling uplifting interesting story than that of War Machine. The TUF 6 alum’s travels have taken him from the great bays of San Diego to the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas, and have seen him do battle with the mighty Krave club bouncers, the mightier Thrusters Club bouncers, California’s most physically fit citizens, and the country’s most upstanding adult films stars.

But, as with the tale of John Carter, which War Machine has chosen to mold his life after, adversity would not keep a good man down. To keep us entertained whilst in prison, Machine released a series of prison blogs that discussed everything from his squabbles with cellmates to his desire to fornicate with a bologna sandwich. After being released from prison last August, the fighter formerly known as John Koppenhaver proved that Floyd Mayweather was just a big pussy by scoring arguably the biggest victory of his MMA career by TKO’ing former UFC superstar Roger Huerta in the third round of their scrap just a few months later. Unfortunately for the Machine, he was informed that he would be headed back to prison to serve time for one of the various assaults he has committed over the past couple of years.

So, without further introduction, may we present you with the first group of War Machine’s prison blogs, which details both his newfound affection for Kendall Grove and his ability to travel to other dimensions while meditating. Don’t worry, more are surely to come.

Week 3

Just got back from court… We were attempting to withdraw my plea so I could take this B.S. to trial, win, and go home. Should have done that in the first fucking place and would have if I knew the judge was gonna fuck me. Funniest part about the hearing – when some glitch or something came up on their computer and made it appear as if I had something else pending, the judge said, “I wouldn’t want to SPECULATE but might be some kind of trouble he’s gotten into while in custody.” Umm… isn’t that SPECULATING right there? How about at sentencing when she SPECULATED, actually ACCUSED, me of taking steroids? LOL! Fucking Kangaroo Court! Anyway, that is that! Buckling in to do this time now. My last recourse is gonna be a request/application to do house arrest instead of this crap, that’d be a lil’ better. At least then I could make $ and eat real food. I hope all of you learn from my mistakes.

UFC light-heavyweight champ Jon Jones took the first step towards getting this unfortunate drunk-driving business behind him by pleading guilty to his DWI charge in a Binghamton, NY, court this morning. WBNG Action News has the details:

Jones entered into a plea deal with the District Attorney’s office Tuesday in Binghamton City Court. Under the terms of the deal he pled guilty to Driving While Intoxicated. Two traffic violations, one for an improper turn and another for deviating from a direct course were dismissed. Jones’ Attorney told the judge the agreement for punishment is a fine and a conditional discharge.

(“Okay, maybe she didn’t actually hit me, but she was clearly trying to hurt my feelings.”)

Sorry for being late to the party on this one, but as you might have heard by now, UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste — real name Annie Schwartz-Wasserstein* — was arrested early Saturday morning and charged with “battery (domestic violence).” She was taken into custody by the Clarke County Police Department at 7:30 a.m., and later released on $3,000 bond before showing up halfway through the UFC 146 main card.

Your first assumption will probably be, “Whoa, she beat up Tiki?” But until more details surface, we can only speculate. (I mean, theoretically, she could have also choked a live-in personal assistant, right?) MMAJunkie passes along Arianny’s last few tweets before her arrest, which suggest she was on a collision course with disaster/hilarity:

Near midnight, she posted a photo of her herself in evening attire sitting at a table, with a caption that read: “Dinner at Mizumi,” referring to a new restaurant at the Wynn Las Vegas. A few hours later, she tweeted another photo of herself with a male companion who was kissing the side of her face, with a caption: “??! forever n always??” An additional tweet came around 3:30 a.m. with her making a crazy look and the caption: “I be going crayyyy ha hey bay bayyy.”

We’ll update you as soon as we know more. For the record, Dana White stated on Saturday night that the UFC has Celeste’s back and supports her 100%.

Related: Arianny Celeste Is Wonderfully Topless in FHM Philippines’ May 2012 Issue

* Not really.

(The Bonesmobile, 2011-2012. Never forget.)

After a weekend of near-silence in the wake of his DUI arrest, UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones emerged on Facebook this morning to apologize to his fans, while expressing some frustration and anger at the “hateful people” who “try to kick me while I’m down.” Here’s the full message, via MiddleEasy:

“Man I haven’t added anyone new to my Facebook page in like three years and right now I’m so glad that I haven’t. It has literally been sickening to have so many people try to kick me while I’m down. At the same time, I totally understand, I gave them the leeway to. I screwed up, big time. Just needed to say thank you to all you guys for being amazing friends/supporters.

Always having to deal with so many critics, haters and fickle mma fans, I almost forgot how strong of a home base I had (607 and people that knew me before I was a champion fighter). Although the hell that will come with this hasn’t even started yet, I want you guys to know how much better you’ve all made me feel, not only about this situation but about life, everything. It’s good to feel that people are there and care. With that being said, I felt I should apologize to you first.

I’m not touching this one. *Innocently whistles* *Walks Away* Props to reader Johnnyozone22 for the tip.

This doesn’t look good, folks. Initially reported by TMZ.com and confirmed by Josh Gross, UFC Light-Heavyweight champion Jon Jones has been arrested in Binghamton, New York on DUI charges after totaling his Bentley. From TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … Jones was involved in an accident at around 5:00 AM in Binghamton, NY. We’re told the car — which Jones crashed into a pole — was totaled and cops arrested Jones on the scene for DUI.

According to our sources, Jones was taken into custody by Broome County Sheriff and bailed out a few hours later … by his mom. Jones is from nearby Ithaca.

Fortunately for Jones, it appears that he only suffered minor injuries, and it does not appear that anyone else was injured from this accident. It is unclear whether or not there were any passengers in the car at the time of the accident.

(Does *this* look like the face of a man who might beat you to death with a large ceremonial hammer?)

You can all exhale now — Alistair Overeem‘s dust up at the Wynn Las Vegas hotel earlier this year, in which he allegedly shoved a woman, will not result in a jail sentence. This is good news for UFC fans who are salivating over his upcoming heavyweight title fight against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 146, and great news for the lucky bastard who just avoided becoming the Reem’s cell mate. (I’m just saying, he’s a big man, and he needs love.)

Overeem waived his right to a trial and did not appear in court for his misdemeanor battery hearing yesterday. While he was busy throwing out energy fields at the UFC 146 press conference, Overeem’s attorney David Chesnoff finalized a plea deal that will require the fighter to fulfill 50 hours of community service and to undergo anger-management counseling. Hopefully Alistair learns to channel his aggression into something positive, like party-rocking. Overeem also received a suspended 90-day jail sentence, but the matter will be dismissed as long as he meets the conditions laid out by the court.

Without sharing details of the case, Overeem described the situation as a lesson about the differences between Holland and America:

(He learned from the best.)

According to a new Las Vegas Review Journal report, Alistair Overeem has been charged with one count of misdemeanor battery after he allegedly “pushed or shoved a woman in the face, causing her to stagger back.” The charge stemmed from an incident at the Wynn Las Vegas hotel at about 3 a.m. on January 2nd, two nights after Overeem demolished Brock Lesnar in his Octagon debut at UFC 141. If convicted, the heavyweight contender faces up to six months in the Clark County Detention Center and up to a $1,000 fine.

Overeem is scheduled to appear in court at 8 a.m. on February 21st. Said his lawyer, attorney-to-the-stars David Chesnoff: “Alistair was not arrested, but was summoned to court. There are two sides to this story and we intend on vigorously defending this. Alistair maintains his innocence.” The UFC has declined to comment.

Let’s hope this is just a shakedown attempt by a woman who simply got in the Reem’s way, or perhaps some innocent roughhousing that went a little too far. Overeem comes off as a genuinely nice guy, but of course, this wouldn’t be the first time that he’s gotten violent with civilians in public. We’ll update you when we know more.

(This is what I get for offering them a ticket to The Gun Show.) 

Oh, those wacky Brits. It appears that, while touring the UK as part of a MMA seminar tour, former UFC lightweight champion Sean Sherk was accidentally pegged in connection with a well known crime boss (our guess would be Salvatore Riina) when the vehicle he was riding in was stopped at a roadblock.

After a small misunderstanding, machine gun toting bobbies descended upon Sherk and forcefully removed him from the car, which they believed to be loaded with illegal firearms. Fighters Only has the exclusive:

As he was being ferried into the area, the car he was travelling in was stopped by a roadblock and armed police swooped on the vehicle. Police had the vehicle on their database as being linked to a local man who they believe to be a key gangland figure. 

Sherk thought the car was being subjected to a routine stop until it turned out to involve several carloads of police officers carrying automatic weapons, including Hechler and Koch MP5 machine guns – the UK police do not normally carry guns. 

Having remained sat in his passenger seat because he had not understood an instruction to exit the vehicle, Sherk was dragged out by tense officers. They cuffed his hands behind his back and pulled him away where he was none too gently searched before being dumped on the floor.

(Hey amigo, don’t forget to bag the stool. I’ll be making salad as a side tonight.) 

One minute it’s an emergency NSAC meeting, and now this. Don’t worry folks, the charges facing former UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar will not affect his December 30th battle with Alistair Overeem at UFC 141, but Lesnar is now a fugitive in a country where sodomy is legal nonetheless. The charges aimed at Brock stem from a recent hunting trip he took to Alberta; I’ll let CJCYFM.com explain:

A recent hunting trip to Alberta has landed former WWE and Ultimate Fighting Champion Brock Lesnar in some trouble.

Fish and Wildlife officers confirmed the international celebrity has been charged with three counts in contravention to the Alberta Fish and Wildlife Act.  The charges came before Medicine Hat Provincial Court Thursday morning and include improper affixation of tags, spoilage of skin and edible flesh and possession of a controlled animal.

Neither Lesnar, nor his co-accused Chad Stryker, appeared in person in court.  Their matter has been put over until January 19th.

Phew. At first, the charges don’t sound that bad. That is, until you consider the fact that the controlled animal in question was a Garthok.

(Video courtesy of Zombie Prophet)

Two months after his arrest following a domestic disturbance in his home, Brett Rogers is ready to face the public. On last night’s episode of Inside MMA, “The Grim” sat down with Ron Kruck to discuss the case and announce his upcoming bout. Rogers will step into a Dakota County District Court on September 13^th to face felony charges of third degree assault, terroristic threats, and harassment and stalking. The now-happy couple seems ready to move on with their lives.

Brett Rogers: “I was told not to go in to details. The situation that occurred, it happened, and it was more of a misunderstanding when I look at it. The papers can write whatever [ed. note: Awesome! Thanks, Brett]. But we still are going through the legal process.”

Tiuana Rogers: “We’d just rather move forward and be positive.”

In keeping with the ‘staying positive’ them, Rogers’ attorney likes their chances as they head into court.

(Why so glum, Joey? Prison is a magical place, just *full* of gang-rape.)

Justice has finally defeated UFC veteran/actor/rapist Joe Son. The thong-clad scumbag‘s gang-rape trial came to an end yesterday, with Son eating a felony conviction that could put him in prison for the rest of his pathetic-ass life. SFGate has the details:

Joseph Hyungmin Son was found guilty of one felony count of torture Thursday. A statute of limitations had expired on other counts. Prosecutors say Son and an accomplice pulled the victim into a car on Christmas Eve in 1990 and drove her toward Huntington Beach as they beat her with a gun and raped her. The investigation had gone cold until Son was required to provide a DNA sample in 2008 in connection with a vandalism sentence. He faces a maximum sentence of 15 years to life in state prison.

Four years after the rape, Son debuted in the UFC as a Bible-thumping nutpunch-magnet. Any guesses on how long he’ll last in prison?

(“Just wait ’til your father gets home.”)

When you do it as a kid, you lose your Xbox privileges. When you do it as an adult, you get charged with “false imprisonment.” TMZ passes along some bizarre news from the American justice system:

UFC fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller was arrested last week for assault after the fighter allegedly put his sister into a headlock and refused to let her go.

Law enforcement tells TMZ, Miller and his sis were at a house party in North Carolina when his sister decided she wanted to take off.* According to law enforcement, Jason’s sister claims he wouldn’t let her leave and put her into a headlock.

UFC veteran and TUF 4 castmember Edwin Dewees was arrested on Thursday and taken to the Yavapai County Jail in Camp Verde, Arizona, after his twin two-year-old sons went missing for an afternoon and were found walking alone on a road. According to TheDailyCourier, the boys were picked up by police after a report was made about two small children spotted by themselves near Road 1 North and Cactus Wren:

The officer immediately found two 2-year-old boys, one wearing just a T-shirt, walking barefoot down Road 1 North, said Cmdr. Mark Garcia of the Chino Valley Police Department.

The officer took the children, who appeared unharmed, to the Chino Valley Police Department and called CPS, which took custody of the children, said Sgt. Vince Schaan of the Chino Valley Police Department.

For nearly two hours, officers tried to find the children’s home and their caretaker, but could not, Garcia said.

(Click mugshots for larger versions.)

The losing streak continues for Strikeforce heavyweight Brett Rogers. Less than two weeks after being choked out by Josh Barnett at “Overeem vs. Werdum”, the Grim was arrested yesterday for allegedly beating the crap out of his wife in front of their daughter. MyFoxTwinCities.com (via CagePotato reader Jerry T.) has the report…

DAKOTA COUNTY, Minn. – Major-league Mixed Martial Artist and Apple Valley, Minn. resident Brett Rogers was arrested and jailed in connection with assaulting his wife Wednesday in their south metro home. She was reportedly strangled, punched repeatedly in the head and face and lost a tooth in the struggle.

Brett Charles Rogers, 30, has been charged with assault in the third degree, domestic assault by strangulation and pattern of stalking conduct — all felonies — in Dakota County. He was also charged with endangerment of a child, a gross misdameanor.

(“I am ashamed to admit that along the way I lost sight of what is truly important [in] life.”)

After being arrested last month for multiple counts of sexual abuse and unlawful sexual penetration on a victim under the age of 14, former UFC lightweight Hermes Franca has been cooling in Clackamas County Jail in Oregon City, Oregon, awaiting his July 12th trial date. Yesterday, he posted a letter on the UG in which he reflected on his life, and expressed regret about the way he sometimes lived it. Check it out:

Hello,

This is not a statement regarding my current legal situation. On these matters I must trust I God and the United States Judicial System. I believe that in time the truth will prevail, as it always does. I am releasing this statement to assure you all that I am safe! With peace and serenity in my heart I write these words:

In the year 2000 I arrived in the United States with $300, spoke very little English and had a dream bigger than most.

Over the past decade I have had an “unbelievable” life, and “unbelievable” MMA career. God has granted me the privilege of traveling to many beautiful places, meeting numerous wonderful people and I have personally witnessed dreams come true… My Dreams! I tell you the truth when I say, I am blessed!

(Spit-bags: The sure sign of a bad time. Photo courtesy of TMZ.)

By Ben Goldstein and Jason Moles

The rule applies in any profession: For every law-abiding nice-guy, there’s an unstable son-of-a-bitch who you’d never want to leave your kids alone with. In honor of Breaking Bad: The Complete Third Season being released on DVD and Blu-ray, we decided to take a ride through MMA’s shadowy history of assault, robbery, vandalism, drug-smuggling, and other nasty behavior — the most infamous examples of fighters living dangerously and paying the price…

For more thrills, check out the latest Sony Action Unleashed DVDs!

#16: Jeff Monson
Arrested for: First-degree malicious mischief; assault on a female and injury to real property

It’s never a good idea to have evidence of your law-breaking published nationally. In a bizarre lapse of judgment, heavyweight veteran Jeff Monson was busted after he allowed ESPN the Magazine to photograph him spray-painting an anarchy symbol on the Washington state capitol building. Though the charge packed a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison, the Snowman was able to plead down to three months. Just days later, Monson was arrested again when a domestic dust-up with one of his many love-interests resulted in an overturned grandfather clock and a fist-shaped hole in the wall; those charges were later dismissed.

#15: Kim Couture
Arrested for: Domestic violence