(Fedor, seen here seconds before appearing in the most famous MMA sex tape of all time: “Two Scoops, One Emperor”) 

Just a few weeks out from what could be his last fight as a mixed martial artist (Author’s note: I just held back vomit whilst typing that.), Russian demigod Fedor Emelianenko recently popped up in a Mercedes-Benz commercial, if only for a few seconds of ultra slo-mo glory. For some reason, the creative talent in charge of said commercial thought it would be cooler for Fedor to don a tuxedo rather than his Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory, which is as big a travesty as anything we’ve ever seen in the five years we’ve been in existence. Not since Overeem/Dos Santos has such an opportunity been squandered, so shame on you, Mercedes-Benz. Looks like our company car is going to be a Ferrari next year.

Check out the ad and let us know whether or not you will be boycotting Mercedes-Benz for this glaring oversight along with us.

They had us until they tried to pass off diving as a sport. Like we all don’t know it’s just falling with style. Just ask Jason Statham.

It is a little known fact that Jon Jones has a stipulation in his UFC contract that forbids him from appearing in any form of promotional media without viciously assaulting someone whilst doing so. That child innocently swinging at the playground? He’s getting the boots put to him. That co-worker complaining about shorter lunches? He’s getting choked the fuck out. Mr. Jones’ newest commercial is no different, but thankfully, no helpless bystanders were injured this time. In fact, the ad is nothing more than a slow-mo recap of his recent win over former UFC Light Heavyweight Champ Lyoto Machida. And it couldn’t be any cooler.

(Our boy Chucky shows up around the 1 minute mark.)

Between you, me, and the wall, I had a doozy of a dream last night, Potato Nation. Get this: a corn fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles, yo-yo’s, a circus midget, my grandmother riding by on a bicycle giving me the finger, and a duck.

You think that’s crazy? Well it pales in comparison to the Super Bowl ad Kia managed to dream up, which features supermodel Adriana Lima, former UFC Light Heavyweight champion Chuck Liddell, Motley Crue performing “Kickstart My Heart,” a legion of bikini-clad women, a magical dwarf (so close!!), and a cowboy riding a giant rhinoceros. Check out the video above, even if it isn’t related to MMA whatsoever. Did we mention it has Adriana Lima in a skimpy outfit? Yeah, that’s what we thought.

-J. Jones

And here we have UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva lip-synching to Minnie Riperton as part of his new endorsement deal with Burger King. The lack of business regulation in Brazil means that BK can legally sell five-patty Deathburgers there, and we totally believe that Silva eats those things all the time. The King is dead. Long live the King.

Semi-related: After the jump, MMA stars predict the winner of Silva vs. Okami in a new video from UFC Connected. Silva juuuuust sneaks by with 100% of the vote.

(Props: kfpisreal)

“What’s up, dog. I killed you.” Oh, Kenny. Audio is NSFW, so stuff in them earbuds.