(Oh yeah. The resemblance is just…uncanny.)

In 1984, freestyle wrestling legend Mark Schultz won a gold medal in the 82kg division at the Summer Olympics in Los Angeles. His older brother Dave Schultz also won freestyle wrestling gold that year, in the weight-class directly below his (74kg).

Twelve years later, Dave was shot dead by millionaire philanthropist — and stone-cold crazy-dude — John duPont, who had turned his family’s sprawling estate in Newtown Square, Pennsylvania, into a training camp for amateur wrestlers. (duPont was later convicted of third-degree murder.) At the time of the shooting, Dave was coaching duPont’s “Team Foxcatcher” wrestling squad, and preparing for another Olympic bid.

Four months after his brother’s death, in May 1996, Mark Schultz entered UFC 9 and defeated Gary Goodridge by TKO due to cut, after 12 minutes of combat. Mark never competed in MMA again.

That’s the basic story behind Foxcatcher, a movie slated for release later this year that is based on Mark’s biography and is already drawing absurdly-premature Oscar buzz. The film is directed by Bennett Miller (Moneyball, Capote) and its cast includes Mark Ruffalo as Dave Schultz, Channing Tatum as Mark Schultz, and eccentric millionaire Steve Carell as eccentric millionaire John duPont.

The exact release date hasn’t been locked down yet, but it sounds like a hell of a story, and we figured we’d pass along a piece of vaguely MMA-related Hollywood news that doesn’t involve Gina or Ronda. All we can say is that C-Tates + six months of sprawl training sounds like a deadly combination.

(“It’s a romantic comedy called ‘You’ve Got Wrist-Locks.’ You play my girlfriend’s father, and you don’t approve of our relationship because I’m so fucking old and gross.”)

File this one under not sure if awesome. According to a new report from Estadão (via Fighters Only), UFC middleweight king Anderson Silva will be filming a role in an action-packed “police story” alongside, who else, Steven Seagal. Silva received the first script draft this week, and is heading to the U.S. to shoot the flick after he gets back from a vacation in Dubai. As Silva explained:

“I will make a lot of fight scenes and this is also the first time I will act. I received a long plot and I will have the opportunity of putting in practice what I have been studying for some time.”

Wait, here’s the best part:

“I don’t want to be seen as somebody who caught the role because I am on the media and to be a fighter. Of course it is difficult, I am not Lorenzo Lamas, but I want to do it well done to the people see that I am a good actor.”

LOL, Lorenzo freakin’ Lamas! That’s the first (and surely last) time we’ve heard that guy’s name used as a standard for fine acting. (“Is Andy a good actor? Well, he’s no dude-from-Renegade, but I suppose he’ll do.”)

By Jim Genia

It is physically impossible to walk into a Kevin James flick with high dramatic expectations. I mean, come on, this is the man who brought us such cinematic classics as Zookeeper, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. If you bought a ticket to anything starring the actor and thought you were getting a shoe-in for this year’s Academy Award for Best Picture, you deserve to have your mullet set on fire. That said, James — who’s long been a supporter of the UFC, and whose presence at Octagonside has been frequent and well-documented by Zuffa cameraman desperate for an eight-second cutaway shot of something even just moderately noteworthy — stars in Here Comes the Boom, a UFC-centric comedy that opens today. How is it? Well, it’s no Gone with the Wind, but it’ll do.

The premise is simple, and something we’ve seen a million times before: an apathetic dude starts to give a crap about something noble, and goes through hell to do some good for that thing he previously did not give a crap about. James is, of course, the apathetic dude, a high school biology teacher named “Scott Voss” from Boston, MA, who puts about zero effort into teaching and too much effort into trying to land a date with the school nurse (Salma Hayek, cleavage-alicious as usual). But when budget woes spell impending doom for the music teacher’s job (played by a schlubby Henry Winkler — remember the Fonz? Yeah, he’s dead now.), it’s time for Voss to step up and do something drastic to plug up the school’s fiscal hole. And hey, what better way to earn cash then to become a UFC fighter?

(‘Here Comes the Boom’ trailer, via FilmsActuTrailers. It’s basically like Warrior, but with barf.)

Kevin James has been one of the UFC’s most visible celebrity fans, and he clearly called in a few favors for his upcoming MMA comedy, Here Comes the Boom. The movie centers on a 40-something science teacher who turns to cage-fighting to raise money for his school, and features our hero Bas Rutten in a supporting role, as well as cameos from Jason Miller, Krzysztof Soszynski, Joe Rogan, and Bruce Buffer. With Boom slated to hit theaters on October 12th, we decided to round up a bunch of our favorite MMA fighter movie cameos. And as you’ll see, they’re usually not hired for their acting ability…

Movie: Blood and Bone (2009)
Fighter: Gina Carano

You know, it’s nice to see women entering the world of underground illegal fighting rings. Before she was Mallory Kane, Gina Carano got her feet wet in the movie business as a badass female street-fighter. Later, she asks Michael Jai White to call her, maybe.

(The girl in the purple dress later ditched her lame friend and hooked up with that charming redneck in the hunting vest at the afterparty.)

Warrior did its best to bring a thoughtful, somewhat realistic view of mixed martial arts to movie theaters — and it kind of tanked, which means that we’re back to depictions of MMA fighters as blood-thirsty psychopaths. So it goes with Alex Cross, which is slated to release on October 26th, and is based on the detective/psychologist character by novelist James Patterson. Here are the brass tacks, via our bros at FilmDrunk:

The story finds Cross on the hunt for Michael Sullivan (Matthew Fox), a ruthless assassin who murders the Washington DC detective’s wife. Sullivan, it turns out, is an MMA fighter, and Fox has transformed himself into something that would be right at home in a fantasy adventure or possibly Hurley from Lost’s nightmares.

Yeah, that veiny son-of-a-bitch you see above is Jack Shephard from Lost. We can only assume that Fox worked with nutritionist Mike Dolce and intensity coach Ben Foster to prepare for the role. On IMDb, the Fox character is listed as “Picasso,” which is probably a nickname referring to the fighter’s tendency to re-arrange faces. Huh. That’s actually kind of clever.

Thanks to everybody who entered our UFC 145 fight-picking contest last week! Many entered, but only three were skilled enough to claim the Fightville prize-packages, which include the movie’s official t-shirt from No Mas and a signed poster. The top three pickers were MoshuDragon, Alan K, and TheGangi, who predicted all three winners correctly, and picked unanimous decision victories for Jon Jones and Mac Danzig. Since MoshuDragon also guessed a first-round stoppage for Travis Browne, we’ll call him the unofficial first-place winner and throw in a CagePotato t-shirt.

If your name has been called, please send your real name, address, and shirt-size to contest@cagepotato.com and we’ll hook you up ASAP. Follow Fightville on Facebook and Twitter, and watch it now on iTunes.

(Props: movieclipsTRAILERS)

By Elias Cepeda

If you ask a movie reviewer what sets great movies apart from good ones, many would tell you that great movies are the ones that manage to transcend their premises. The Rocky series wasn’t about boxing; it was a story of an underdog who succeeded through hard work and determination in the face of impossible odds. Fight Club wasn’t about dudes beating each other up in basements; it was a dirge for our lost masculinity and the rise of anonymous consumerism.

And the new MMA documentary Fightville isn’t about the fighting; it’s about the struggle.

Directed by Petra Epperlein and Michael Tucker — who have previously collaborated on four other full-length features, including the Iraq war documentary Gunner Palace — Fightville is a gritty and thought-provoking glimpse into the human condition that should appeal to fight fans as well as fans of good filmmaking. Simply put, it’s the best MMA documentary since The Smashing Machine.

(Van Damme was convinced that the man before him was in fact Cung Le, no matter how much he pleaded that he was “just the delivery guy.”) 

Somewhere in between having his nose turned into delicious mashed potatoes by Wanderlei Silva at UFC 139 and accepting a match with Rich Franklin at UFC 148, it looks like Cung Le managed to squeeze in another movie to add to his list of credentials that includes such films as Fighting, Pandorum, and Tekken. Being the only one of the above titles I have seen, I can honestly say that Pandorum wasn’t half bad, and neither was Le in it. That’s more than anyone say for Rampage Jackson’s film career thus far.

In any case, Le’s newest entry is called Dragon Eyes, and despite it’s ridiculously cliche title, it looks like it could actually be a pretty damn entertaining flick. Co-starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Peter Weller, and JCVD film veteran Kristopher Van Varenberg, Dragon Eyes hits stores on April 9th.

Join us after the jump for the action-packed trailer. 

If you still haven’t made it out out to the multiplex to see The Greatest MMA Movie Ever Filmed™, today might be your lucky day. Lionsgate just hooked us up with a box of Warrior-related goodies — free movie passes, Warrior t-shirts, and a copy of The Men of Warrior photo-book — and we’re going to unload it all in a Fight-Picking Fire Sale.

This Saturday, UFC Fight Night 25: Shields vs. Ellemberger goes down in New Orleans, featuring Jake Shields‘s battle against surging contender Jake Ellenberger, and Court McGee‘s return against South Korean middleweight prospect Dongi Yang. Submit your predictions for these two fights in the comments section below, including the winner’s name, the method of victory, and the time/round of stoppage, if any. Your entry should be in this format:

(Wise choice, Nick.)

By Nick Newell

Though I’ve never done a movie review before, I have seen two or three of them in my day, so when CagePotato.com and Break.com asked me to do a review of the new MMA-themed film WARRIOR, I told them I’ll check my schedule. Under ten seconds later I happily agreed.

With the bar on MMA-themed movies being set to an embarrassing low with such Academy Award-worthy gems as Fighting and Never Back Down, I didn’t really know what to expect from WARRIOR. I actually left Never Back Down out of embarrassment after the chubby sidekick told the main character, “You’ve gotta train Mai Thai.”

Regardless, I did my best Bangs impression and took my Shorty to the movies to go see Warrior. After sitting through previews that accused Billy Shakespeare of being a plagiarizing charlatan and dancing gerbils driving ugly cars it was Showtime!

EMBED-Warrior: Music Video – Watch more free videos

Warrior hits theaters today — will it live up to its “serious MMA movie” hype? (I mean, I think it does, but everybody’s entitled to their own opinion, right?) Come back this afternoon for Nick Newell‘s review of the flick, which will challenge everything you know about film criticism.

(Rosenthal, you scene-stealing son-of-a-bitch.)

MMA history is littered with badass sets of brothers — the Nogueiras, the Shamrocks, the Ruffos — but we wouldn’t necessarily want to see them cage-fight to the death. There are, of course, a few exceptions to that rule. In honor of tomorrow’s release of Warrior, which features two estranged brothers who [SPOILER ALERT!] beat the crap out of each other at the end, we humbly present our top-five dream fights between bros. Enjoy…

Clay Guida vs. Jason Guida

With all the times that Jason has slapped his brother in the face before UFC fights, you’d think that Clay might want to give some of it back, just once. Sure, the Carpenter would be at a solid 50-pound weight disadvantage, but I think he’d take it by decision due to his pace and his wrestling. Besides, it’s been too long since we’ve had a good open-weight freak show fight in this country.

Patricio Freire vs. Patricky Freire

This is basically the 2011 version of “I wonder what would happen if Shogun and Ninja fought each other?” With a 17-1 record and a Bellator Season 4 tournament sweep to his credit, Patricio Pitbull is undoubtedly one of the greatest featherweights outside of the UFC. (Notable moments: His TKO of Georgi Karakhanyan and destruction of Wilson Reis.) Patricio’s lightweight brother Patricky is just as ferocious, as proven by his knockout of Rob McCullough and highlight-reel flying-knee against Toby Imada. Make it happen, Bjorn.

Warrior hits theaters this Friday, and as you already know, I thought it was a damn good time. Somehow, bjjireland was able to lurk behind the cameras during filming, and got some amazing footage of the movie-making process. For example, these behind-the-scenes videos highlight the fact that co-stars Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton did all their own stunts for the MMA fight scenes, and have the scars to prove it. Also, neither one of them is from the United States, and yet both of them did passable American accents, which is admirable in itself.

The never-before-seen footage continues after the jump, with director Gavin O’Connor helping his actors find their emotional motivation in the midst of a cage-fight. Very cool stuff.

(Bob, what is best in life? ”To crush your enemies, see them [pile-]driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.” Photo courtesy of UPI)

With a decade-long career that has included pro-wrestling, MMA, kickboxing, and acting, Bob Sapp is one of the most iconic entertainers in combat sports. Sapp returns to the big screen in the new remake of Conan the Barbarian — which hits theaters today — as the villainous tribal leader Ukafa. We caught up with the Beast last night to discuss everything from Conan to Mike Tyson to Beast-endorsed sex toys. Enjoy…

CAGEPOTATO.COM: Hey Bob, thanks for taking the time to speak to us. Where are you right now?
BOB SAPP: I’m in Dubai, doing some training for my next WKA kickboxing fight, August 26th in Germany. My opponent is Florian “Faust” Pavic. I am 100% healthy, so you’ll see me going old-school with a lot of big punches.

Tell me a little about the character you play in Conan the Barbarian.
Ukafa is basically a big, brute, bully guy. He’s a non-talkative guy, because he’d rather talk with actions than words. You can see how strong he is, especially at the beginning when he actually tackles a real horse. I didn’t do any comedy in this one — it’s strictly a serious role, straight action and adventure. So I consider this role to be very similar to the one I played in Elektra with Jennifer Garner a few years back.

Being in these action films seems like such a natural fit for you, because your career in the fight business straddled the line of sport and entertainment. When you were fighting in Japan for PRIDE and K-1, did you view yourself more as an athlete or as an entertainer?

(Props: nacejfa via CagePotato reader Ed S.)

Here we have the trailer for The Great Fight, which is about an autistic savant (and state-capital buff) who discovers he has inborn MMA skills. When he whups up on some school bullies, their sensai (yeah) makes it a personal mission to smash him and his coach. It’s like The Karate Kid meets Rain Man meets somebody’s half-assed student film project.

Look, I want to take this movie seriously. Robert Loggia‘s in it, for God’s sake. But then you show me the John Kreese-knockoff villain* who looks like he just came from a gig with his Village People tribute act — acting as his own representation in the courtroom scene! — and Loggia growling in the kid’s face, and the audience of seat-fillers during the climactic fight (1:59-2:00), who are clearly bored off their asses. Warrior, it ain’t.

* According to IMDb, Martin Kove, the actor who played John Kreese, is actually in this movie. And so is Joyce DeWitt, best known as Janet from Three’s Company. Let that be a warning to all you young, aspiring actors. It can all go away so fast, and this is the kind of shit you’ll need to do to pay the bills.

It’s no stretch to say that Warrior is the greatest MMA movie ever filmed, considering that its rivals for the title are Never Back Down 2 and the upcoming Paul Blart: Cage-Fighter. But even removed from its often-embarrassing peers, Warrior still holds its own as a great sports movie that succeeds by building itself on familiar sports movie hooks then subverting them whenever possible.

The film centers on a pair of estranged brothers, Brendan Conlon (Joel Edgerton) and Tommy Riordon (Tom Hardy), and their father Paddy (Nick Nolte) — a former abusive alcoholic who drove away his entire family and is playing out the rest of his life as a lonely, sober old man. When Tommy returns from Iraq following a stint in the Marines, he seeks out Paddy partly to exact some emotional revenge, and partly to ask his dad to help train him for ‘Sparta,’ a 16-man middleweight MMA grand prix that promises $5 million to the winner. (Tommy was a wrestling prodigy in high school, and its implied that his father was a Marv Marinovich-esque coach/maniac.)

(Props: HaywireMovie)

Damn, Gina! Haywire looks like it might exceed our expectations. Your thoughts?

(“Okay, we need a relatively short actor with a prominent facial scar who can do a believeable Portuguese accent. Just kidding, we’re gonna go with Mark Wahlberg.” Photo courtesy of Esther Lin)

Following in the footsteps of the Matt Hamill biopic Hamill, a movie based on Jose Aldo‘s life is reportedly in the works. According to Fighters Only, film director Afont Poyart — who Google has never heard of, but we’re guessing it’s this guy — is making the final tweaks to the script before starting filming, and the flick is slated to come out by early 2013. Aldo is clearly psyched about the news, telling UOL Desporte:

“It’s a dream, right? My life to turn into a movie, a story…I guess those who don’t know either me or my story, will know a little more through this film that we will make. It will tell a lot of stories that previously are known only to close friends.”

Let’s just hope the barbecue pit scene is tastefully done. As for the lead actor, Aldo has an interesting casting idea…

(Oh no. They’re going to cast Will Ferrell and Steve Carell, aren’t they.)

Maybe this is a little off-topic, but considering we previously named Bloodsport the #3 fight movie of all time — and the underground “Kumite” tournament depicted in the flick is basically the spiritual godfather of the UFC — you might be interested to know that the 1988 Van Damme classic is being remade for modern times. According to ScreenDaily (via ScreenJunkies), veteran producer Ed Pressman has closed a deal to remake the flick, and has tapped Phillip Noyce (Clear and Present Danger, The Bone Collector, Salt) to direct and Robert Mark Kamen (The Karate Kid, Lethal Weapon 3, The Transporter) to write the screenplay.

Props to UG member “pervert” (naturally). Click for full-size version; two more after the jump. Haywire is now slated for an August release.

(Props: comingsoon.net)

It’s kind of nice to see an MMA movie that doesn’t involve underground fight clubs or tubby physical comedians. Warrior hits theaters on September 9th, and aside from a couple of overly-dramatic plot points — the “win or you lose your house” angle, the brothers forced to face off in the climactic fight — it could turn out to be the most realistic depiction of the sport in movie history. The director is Gavin O’Connor, who was a producer on the classic 2002 MMA documentary The Smashing Machine, and it co-stars Tom Hardy, who was a total badass in Bronson. We’re looking forward to it.

(Props: SXSW)

By Fidel Martinez, TuVez.com

I should preface this review by stating that at best I’m a very (very) casual fan of MMA, and at worst I’m completely ignorant about the subtleties of the sport. With that said, I don’t think that admission disqualifies me from writing about a documentary film on the subject. In fact, I think I’m exactly the kind of person that filmmakers Petra Epperlein and Michael Tucker were targeting with Fightville.

The film, which premiered at the SXSW Film Festival on March 12th, profiles four individuals involved in USA-MMA, a “feeder” league based out of Lafayette, Louisiana. The stars are two fighters (Dustin Poirier and Albert Stainback), their trainer (Tim Credeur), and their promoter (Gil Guillory, owner of USA-MMA). Epperlein and Tucker do a fantastic job at showing the nitty-gritty of a lower-level fighting league. From the unglamorous setting-up of the ring in a rodeo to the fighters balancing their personal lives (work, family, etc.) with their full-time job of training, Fightville provides an important contrast to the extravagance of the UFC — with its millions of viewers, hundreds of thousands of dollars in prize money for the headliners, ring girls, and promotional muscle.

Gina Carano and co-star Ewan McGregor recently filmed a beach fight scene during re-shoots for their upcoming movie Haywire. Zimbio has 55 photos from the make-believe scrap in a gallery called “Ewan McGregor on the Beach.” (Way to miss the point, guys.) We went though and picked our 20 favorites. Enjoy the carnage.

(Well, that’s what you get for leaving it in the hands of the judges.)

Friends, Romans, CagePotatoans, lend me your ears. We’re all familiar with the UFC’s famous gladiator introduction. And if you’re familiar with it, you probably want them to change it. Guess what? It ain’t happening. Dana White (along with most Americans) is fascinated by that era of Roman history and its various dramatic representations, be it in the movie Spartacus, HBO’s Rome or the upcoming movie The Eagle. One can’t help but be infatuated with their tales of valor, violence, and debauchery. We can all go peruse Wikipedia and learn about the roots of MMA in pankration, so there’s no need for us to delve into its lineage and bore you.

Let’s take a quick look at gladiators. Many of them were slaves or prisoners condemned to fight, though there are some who volunteered for the job. While most gladiators’ non-fighting lives were rife with pain and sorrow — I mean, they were slaves after all — stepping into the arena was seen as a blessing, a chance to showcase their skills, a place to hear the cheers of the crowd and the love of the people. Some gladiators were as popular in the arena as the Senators themselves. While outsiders saw combat as barbaric and violent, it was a necessary evil to the combatants in order to attain glory.

For the gladiator, it wasn’t always about winning or losing, though losing could prove to be fatal; it was also about getting the crowd behind you. Most people aren’t aware that many gladiatorial contests were worked (like wrasslin’) in order to garner fan support. Look at it like Chris Lytle making a deal to try and win Fight of the Night. If you fought valiantly, the crowd cheered — unless you kept losing. We’ve all seen that “thumbs up or thumbs down” scene in Gladiator; well that wasn’t exactly accurate, but it wasn’t too far off from the truth. Your life was potentially in the hands of the official over the games and if they weren’t entertained, you died.

(Dinner better be waiting, or else. Photo via gina-carano.org)

Just a quick update on Haywire, that Steven Soderbergh-directed action flick starring former (?) MMA fighter Gina Carano as a freelance covert operative who has to fight for her life after one of her gigs goes FUBAR. The new release date is April 22nd — for real this time — and the flick will no doubt be blown out of the water by the latest Madea poop-bomb from Tyler Perry. TheFilmStage.com passes along another detail from the shoot:

[Soderbergh] shared the pretty funny note that the film’s star Gina Carano, an MMA fighter herself, scared off some male stars* as they apparently weren’t comfortable with the idea of being beaten up by a woman onscreen…For fans of action set-pieces, they may be interested to know that there’s a “hotel suite sequence”** that the director describes as “fun.”***

* Judging from the cast, we can safely assume that either Channing Tatum, Ewan McGregor, Antonio Banderas, or Bill Paxton is a giant pussy.

** Whoa. You mean like a sex tape?

*** Dog, you didn’t.

(Images courtesy of AllElbows/Versus, Lionsgate.)

After wading through 178 entries for Friday’s caption contest, one thing is certain: You guys really love The Human Centipede. Not sure what’s up with that. Anyway, we’re psyched to give away some DVD/Blu-Ray combo packs for the new beat-’em-up flick Locked Down — a film that thankfully does not feature three people who have their gastrointestinal tracts sewn together by an insane German doctor. But first, we feel obligated to print a few captions that just fell short of the glory. Y’know, just to ratchet up the suspense…

(Image courtesy of LionsGate)

As we mentioned in last week’s Most Bizarre Submissions list, the prison-MMA flick Locked Down was just released on DVD and Blu-Ray, and we’d like to give away some copies. (Full disclosure: I haven’t seen the movie yet, but there’s already Oscar buzz around Rashad Evans’s performance. Plus, Kimbo Slice threatens to smush somebody’s shit in at one point.)

Speaking of "locked down," Takeya Mizugaki got LOCKED, THE EFF, DOWN last night at WEC 52 when Urijah Faber caught him in a rear-naked choke, putting him to sleep for an uncomfortably long period of time. A killer photo from the stoppage is after the jump, courtesy of AllElbows/Versus. Come up with a clever caption to the photo, and post it in the comments section below by Sunday night at midnight ET. We’ll post our four favorites on Monday; the winners will receive a Locked Down DVD/Blu-Ray combo pack. Props to LionsGate for making this possible, and good luck to all of you…

("The guy has titties. I couldn’t do a comedy bit next to a guy with titties. For real." Props: Spike.com)

Comic actor Kevin James has long been a familiar face at UFC events, so we suppose it was only a matter of time before this happened. According to a report on deadline.com (via MMAMania) the star of such critically acclaimed films as Grown Ups and Paul Blart: Mall Cop has his next masterpiece in the works, and yep, it’s MMA-related:

James is attached to play a physics teacher whose school faces drastic cutbacks. In an attempt to save his best friend’s job and the music program his students love, he moonlights in the octagon as a mixed martial arts fighter, ultimately leading to brawling in the UFC. The film is on a fast track, and production presidents Matt Tolmach and Doug Belgrad hope to get it into production next year.

I know what you’re thinking — the idea of shlubby-ass Kevin James getting a UFC contract is way too far-fetched, even in the context of a screwball comedy. But remember, Roy Nelson was an untrained paralegal with no MMA experience before going on TUF 10, and you all saw how well that worked out. One more thing: The music-teacher best friend in the movie? I’m willing to bet that the role will be an embarrassing gay stereotype played by Rob Schneider. Seriously, you all have to pay me five bucks if I’m right.

Thanks to everybody who submitted captions for our second Beatdown caption contest we had more entries for this one in the first hour than our entire Boston Fan Expo Lackey contest, which is both telling and hurtful.

Serously, who wouldn’t want to hang with Ben and ReX13 for a weekend in beantown? Rex might have even shared some of his sweet dance moves with you.

So who will get to enjoy Beatdown in the privacy of their own home? First some honorable mentions…

"I always knew fighting would get me chicks, but god damn! an orgy with 4 girls!? LUCKY ME!" -Professor MMA

"Only after one of the girls asks Rich exactly what a BJ-J is, Does he realize he signed up for the wrong seminar and it clicks why MJ is the instructor." -El Supreme Nacho

"Photographic proof that Michael Jackson is indeed in hell." -Beelzebuddy

"…Rich wakes up with a throbbing headache. He’s in a motel room he doesn’t recognise. He can’t seem to remember how he got there. He swears he only had the one drink. There’s a photo of him and three chicks with a Michael Jackson impersonator on a camera by the bed. "Weird", he thinks aloud. He hears a shower running. He’s starting to think he might have taken the girls back here for a night of "Rich creamy love", as he calls it. He hears high-pitched giggling from the bathroom, a smile spreads across his face.
Then he sees it, a white sequined glove on the bedside table…" -Rear Naked Poke who painted such a vivid picture it was somewhat disturbing.

And now the winners…

As promised, we’re giving you another opportunity to win a copy of the MMA flick Beatdown, out now on DVD and Blu-Ray. The rules are simple: Check out the photo after the jump of Rich Franklin and his buddies, and post a clever caption in the comments section below by tonight at midnight PT. We’ll announce our four favorites tomorrow, and you’ll bitch about how you thought yours was funnier. Now let’s get it…