(You see? People were doing this WAY before MMA was ever popular.)

*facepalm*

Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently a former MMA fighter named Harold Finger III (seriously) viciously assaulted a woman before setting himself on fire, nearly taking a six year old child with him in the process. This bizarre story comes to us courtesy of KTUU.com out of Anchorage, Alaska, whose “report” is so shockingly inept that we feel the need to post it verbatim:

A former mixed martial arts fighter set himself on fire on Tuesday night and faces assault charges for striking a woman, according to Anchorage Police.

Police said 28-year-old Harold Finger III lit himself on fire during a disturbance around 8:33 p.m. Tuesday. Officers found him badly burned at an apartment on the 200 block of N. Klevin Street.

According to witnesses, APD said Finger became angry while speaking on the phone with an acquaintance after getting out of jail for one week.

Police allege Finger then punched and kicked a 34-year-old woman in the face and head while wearing leather gloves with hard plastic knuckles. The victim and two other women living at the apartment took refuge in a bedroom with one of the women holding her 6-year-old son.

Finger said he was not going back to jail and took a can of Prestone starting fluid and doused the door frame and his upper body and then grabbed the child. The women were able to free the boy before Finger used a lighter to ignite himself, bursting into flames. One of the women extinguished the flames with a jacket.

Finger was taken to a local hospital for severe burns on his upper torso, face, and head. He faces charges of assault in the first and second degree and reckless endangerment with a no-bail warrant.

Anchorage Police said Finger will be served when he is physically able to be taken into custody.

(Not to criticize Bellator’s matchmaking, but we haven’t seen a first round tournament draw this easy since Wandelei Silva’s Pride days.)

Since his acting career didn’t quite pan out like he expected and his relationship with the UFC was still somewhat frosty, Roger Huerta has opted to go in a new direction and announced today that he’d be competing in Bellator’s upcoming 155-pound tournament. The first round kicks off on April 8, but there’s no word yet on who Huerta will face. If he wins his first fight he then moves on to fight in May, and a victory there puts him in the finals in June. That’s a busy schedule for a guy who fought just twice in the last two years, but according to Huerta that’s part of what drew him to Bellator in the first place:

"The main thing for me was I wanted to fight constantly," he said. "Since I was out so long, this is the best way for me to fight constantly and it’s up to me to continue to fight. It’s going to be grueling. I’ll fight in April, then on to May and June. But I want to continue to fight. I went from fighting five times in one year in ’07, then once in ’08 and ’09. Now I can fight four times in 2010."

Huerta insists that he’s coming back “with a chip on my shoulder” and is fully focused on MMA these days. His joint-grinding loss against Gray Maynard proved that toughness is never an issue, and we don’t want to sound like a clingy girlfriend here, but is “El Matador” ready to make a serious commitment to this sport? If not, the Bellator tournament’s grueling schedule will probably find him out.

("See? I am friend. Now get in van, please." Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Four months after he put Mike Swick to sleep at UFC 109 — thereby going up 2-1 in his one-man assault on the American Kickboxing Academy — welterweight rising star Paulo Thiago will step into the cage at UFC 115 (June 12th, tentatively in Vancouver) against highly regarded contender Martin Kampmann. "The Hitman" is coming off a first-round submission victory over Jacob Volkmann in January, and was slated to take on Ben Saunders at UFC 111, but lost a large piece of his face during training. Coincidentally, Thiago also holds a win over Volkmann, who has been absolutely thrown to the wolves during his brief time with the UFC. (FYI, "Christmas" Volkmann will have his win-or-GTFO match against Ronnys Torres at UFC Fight Night: Florian vs. Gomi on March 31st.)

UFC 115 will be headlined by Chuck Liddell vs. Tito Ortiz, and is expected to feature Mirko Cro Cop vs. Pat Barry, Ben Rothwell vs. Gilbert Yvel, Tyson Griffin vs. Evan Dunham, and Mac Danzig continuing his slow road back to contendership against Matt Wiman.

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

The WEC paid out $276,500 in disclosed salaries and bonuses for their WEC 47 card on Saturday, with bantamweight contender Joseph Benavidez taking home the biggest cut. Benavidez’s $39,000 haul — including his win bonus and submission bonus — made him one of just three fighters to earn over $20,000 from the event. The numbers are below; keep in mind that they don’t include income from sponsorships or undisclosed "locker-room bonuses," or deductions for taxes, insurance, and licensing fees.

Dominick Cruz: $18,000 (includes $9,000 win bonus)
Brian Bowles: $12,000

Joseph Benavidez: $39,000 (includes $14,500 win bonus, $10,000 Submission of the Night bonus)
Miguel Torres: $26,000

Javier Vazquez: $12,000 (includes $6,000 win bonus)
Jens Pulver: $14,000*

L.C. Davis: $18,000 (includes $9,000 win bonus)
Deividas Taurosevicius: $9,000

("These barbarian Americans," Fedor thought to himself. "Worshipping laminated rectangles with names on them.")

Strikeforce has been laying suspiciously low lately, leading some to wonder if they’re having behind-the-scenes problems with Fedor Emelianenko or their broadcast partners; Gegard Mousasi‘s departure from M-1 two weeks ago added another wrinkle to the mystery. Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker tried to shed what light he could yesterday, telling reporters that the organization would hold an event in Nashville, Tennessee, on April 17th, and that more announcements would come next week. No, it’s not much to work on. But recent reports have also clued us in on the following…

— The middleweight title fight between Jake Shields and Dan Henderson is a done deal for April. Said Shields: "I have a date (and) venue, but they told me to hold that back. Hopefully CBS. I think it’s CBS. There’s a slight possibility of Showtime because they’re still (working it out). I don’t know the rest of the card or any of that yet. But me and Dan’s on, and I’m hoping it’s on CBS."

("Damn it…what did I just come down here for?")

Contradicting previous reports that Wanderlei Silva‘s next opponent will be Yoshihiro Akiyama at UFC 110 (February 21st; Sydney, Australia), Fighters Only UK says that the Axe Murderer will instead be taking on Michael Bisping:

(Whaddya say, old-timer? One last job, for all the Lipitor?)

According to Sherdog, UFC hall-of-famers Randy Couture and Mark Coleman have verbally agreed to a light-heavyweight headlining match at UFC 109 (February 6th, Las Vegas). Combined age for the fight: 90. At 46 years and five months old at the time of his decision win over Brandon Vera last weekend, Couture is the oldest person to score a victory in the UFC. (If only Ron van Clief had pulled off the upset.) Coleman, who made his Octagon debut at UFC 10 in July 1996, has had the longest career of any fighter currently under contract with Zuffa.

The pairing tells us two things. First, that the UFC realizes a razor-thin decision over Brandon Vera isn’t enough to throw Couture directly into a 205-pound title fight; he’ll need at least one more win over somebody he can beat, preferably by stoppage. And second, that the UFC is absolutely desperate for headlining bouts. Couture vs. Coleman may turn out to be a #1 light-heavyweight contender’s match, but it certainly doesn’t deserve to be. Unfortunately, there are no bigger fights available to main-event the card. Though a middleweight title match between Anderson Silva and Vitor Belfort was previously expected to headline UFC 109, Belfort says he may be fighting someone else at the February show.

Fun fact: In 1989, Couture and Coleman met in a freestyle wrestling match at the 1989 Olympic Festival at Oklahoma State; Coleman won by one point. So you can expect the UFC to start referring to this fight as a "MAIN EVENT GRUDGE MATCH."

From Georges St. Pierre to BJ Penn to Kenny Florian, Sean Sherk has fought nothing but champions and top contenders during his current run in the UFC. But after his loss to Frank Edgar at UFC 98, the Muscle Shark may no longer be a top contender himself. And so, it’s time to rebuild. In an interview with wicombatsports.com, Sherk revealed that he’ll be returning to the Octagon at UFC 108 (January 2, Las Vegas) against Rafaello "Tractor" Oliveira, the 9-2 BJ Penn training partner who lost his UFC debut to Nik Lentz at UFC 103. Coincidentally, Lentz is a training partner of Sherk at Minnesota Martial Arts Academy. "He’s been able to give me some good advice on him," Sherk said.

For the former UFC lightweight champion, this is one of those matchups where you just have to swallow your pride and get the job done. Yes, Oliveira is "below" him; he’s 0-1 in the UFC, and has never beaten anybody with a name. On the other hand, Sherk looked completely ineffective in his last match — the fearsome wrestler has become a middling kickboxer — and he hasn’t finished a fight inside the Octagon since 2002. "Tractor" is obviously being set up to lose here. If Sherk wants to make a comeback, he’ll have to hold up his end of the deal, and do so in impressive fashion.

("I’m gettin’ too calm and emotionless for this shit." Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

— Though it was initially rumored that Fedor Emelianenko could be out-of-action for 4-6 months due to a jacked-up left thumb he suffered in the first round of his fight against Brett Rogers, his condition has been upgraded. Sherdog reports that the Last Emperor underwent surgery yesterday to fix his injury, and will have a half-cast removed in just 4-6 weeks:

— Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos is expected to make her first Strikeforce title defense against Marloes Coenen on January 30th in Miami, according to MMA Weekly. Santos was originally slated to compete on last Saturday’s "Fedor vs. Rogers" card, but her return was pushed back after she suffered an injury during the 2009 ADCC‘s in September.

(Nobody makes Jacare bleed his own blood.)

Details are beginning to emerge about Strikeforce’s next big card, which is slated to take place December 19th at their familiar haunts in San Jose’s HP Pavilion. Though a headlining bout is still in the works, the event — dubbed "Evolution" — will reportedly feature…

— A middleweight bout between jiu-jitsu specialist Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza and old-schooler Matt Lindland. Souza is coming off his chaotic no-contest rematch against Jason Miller, while Lindland hasn’t competed since he was added to Vitor Belfort’s highlight reel at Affliction: Day of Reckoning. The winner of Souza vs. Lindland seems like a logical choice to challenge the winner of Saturday’s Jake Shields vs. Jason Miller fight for Strikeforce’s brand-new middleweight title.

(You can blame Kurt Angle for this one.)

From a post on shane-carwin.com titled "UFC 108 Not Happening For Me":

Heavy.com confirms that Lesnar has been struck down by what teenagers refer to as "the kissing disease," and not the flu as originally reported. There’s currently no timeframe on when Brock will be healthy enough to return to competition.

Unfortunately, this means UFC 108 is currently being headlined by Rashad Evans vs. Thiago Silva. But there is hope: To shore up the January 2nd card, a heavyweight clash between Cain Velasquez and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira may be in the works — which would surely determine who’s next in line for a title shot after Shane finally gets his turn.

(Mike Pierce takes Brock Larson for a ride during the "Diaz vs. Guillard" prelims in September. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Poor Jon Fitch. Two weeks ago he was "So excited!" about his rematch with Thiago Alves, which was set up when his original opponent Ricardo Almeida went down with a knee injury. But Alves soon had to pull out for the same reason, and Fitch is now faced with a nightmare scenario for any top contender — a dangerous opponent with little name-value. As reported by MMA Mania, Fitch will now compete at UFC 107 (December 12th, Memphis) against Mike Pierce, a 10-1 up-and-comer who recently scored a major upset over Brock Larson during his Octagon debut at UFC Fight Night 19. Before he joined the UFC, Pierce toiled in regional promotions where he picked up wins over TUF castmembers Mike Dolce, Mark Miller, and Paul Bradley. He’s currently riding a six-fight win streak.

Obviously, Fitch should take this one; just as he derailed Paulo Thiago‘s hype train at UFC 100 after the Brazilian scored a freak upset against Josh Koscheck, Fitch will probably do the same thing to Pierce, who’s coming off the biggest win of his career. But once again, it’s a fight that doesn’t do much to move him towards another shot at the welterweight belt. Unfortunately, when your opponents are struck down with injuries, and you’ve already had a shot at the champion, and you won’t fight Josh Koscheck and Mike Swick because of your camp affiliation, your options tend to be limited.

("Which hand’s the penny in, motherfucker? WHICH HAND?!?")

From nwitimes.com via MMA Junkie:

(All hail the new Cro Cop. Props: lqdocelot19)

Dream Welterweight Grand Prix champion Marius Zaromskis — who recently scored his third-straight first-round head-kick knockout at Dream.12 — has signed a multi-fight contract with Strikeforce, according to Sherdog. The 29-year-old Lithuanian will still be able to compete in Dream, but could make his U.S. debut at Strikeforce’s December 19th event in San Jose. As you can see on Strikeforce.com’s fighters section, Zaromskis’s awesome but slightly-racially-tinged nickname "The Whitemare" has been changed to the more generic (but still appropriate) "Raging Demon."

It’s a fantastic pickup for Strikeforce, which has been basically waiting for Nick Diaz to get his shit together before they can crown somebody their welterweight champ, to the great disgust of Jay Hieron. Now, Zaromskis can take on Hieron for the vacant belt if Diaz continues to act squirrelly, or kick the crap out of someone like Joe Riggs to establish himself in America first. More to come…

Semi-related: Undefeated lightweight prospect Lyle "Fancy Pants" Beerbohm signs two-year contract with Strikeforce.

Well, this new development is appropriately terrifying for Halloween.  War Machine, the fighter formally known as Jon Koppenhaver, has decided to do away with any lingering shreds of dignity that might have been clinging to him without his knowledge, and has officially become a porn star.  The video above shows him receiving his first ass waxing to make his butt camera-ready, and while it probably wasn’t necessary for him to post that to YouTube he did perform a public service by letting all the kids out there know that life as a porn star isn’t all glamour and lube.  There’s actually some unsavory elements to it.  Who knew?

He says he shot his first scene with Riley Steele and described it as "fucking awesome," before explaining that he took the gig because fighting wasn’t paying the bills and he refuses to work for a living.  It’s like I’ve always said, when life gives you lemons, make a video of you having sex with those lemons and put it on the internet.

Related:
- War Machine: "F@ck an Obama"
- War Machine Arrested in Vegas
- War Machine Apologizes for Ridiculous Behavior

(If he can handle that, he can handle anything.)

According to a new report by MMA Weekly, former WEC featherweight champion Urijah Faber will return to action for the first time since his decision loss to Mike Brown in June, when he takes on top contender Raphael Assuncao at WEC 46 (January 11th, Sacramento). Faber has spent the last few months rehabbing the hand injuries he suffered against Brown, but described the January event as "perfect timing for me."

Though Assuncao may not be a household name yet, the 14-1 submission specialist has won both of his appearances in the WEC (decisions over Jameel Massouh and Yves Jabouin) and we consider him to be one of the ten best featherweights in the world right now. Faber vs. Assuncao is slated to be WEC 46′s co-main event, supporting the lightweight title unification bout between Jamie Varner and Benson Henderson — unless Henderson needs more time to recover from his own injuries, in which case it’ll be up to the California Kid to carry the card. Will Faber be able to re-establish himself in the division he ruled for almost three years, or will Assuncao put himself on that map as the WEC’s next featherweight star?

In their scramble to shore up UFC 106‘s lineup after the loss of Brock Lesnar, the UFC has booked a welterweight scrap between Josh Koscheck and Anthony Johnson for the November 21st event. Koscheck first announced via Twitter that he would be co-headlining the card, and Sherdog later confirmed his opponent.

It’ll be just a four-week turnaround for Johnson, who picked up his third straight win on Saturday night with a devastating 41-second TKO of Yoshiyuki Yoshida. (Our advice: Start cutting weight now.) Koscheck is coming off a first-round TKO of Frank Trigg at UFC 103 last month, and scored his own thunderous KO of Yoshiyuki Yoshida last December. Maybe it’s not worthy of co-main status, but at least Koscheck vs. Johnson will probably end with a highlight-reel knockout. Your predictions?

(Somebody go tell Bisping that the coast is clear now.)

Remember those contract negotiations that between Dan Henderson and the UFC that had slowed down of late?  Apparently they slowed all the way to a halt, and now Hendo may be headed for Strikeforce.  The crazy part? UFC president Dana White seems content to just watch him go:

“We have a good relationship with Henderson, and there are no hard feelings,” White said. “He had a figure he believed he was worth, and we had our own figure, and we weren’t able to get together.”

Just like that, Henderson’s highlight-reel knockout of Michael Bisping goes from a career-rejuvenator to a UFC swan song.  DW can’t really hold this one against Strikeforce if they do end up signing Henderson, though his grudges haven’t necessarily been limited by rationality in the past.  Still, the UFC had every chance to keep Hendo and ultimately decided he wasn’t worth the money he wanted.  What, did they feel like they had too many credible middleweight contenders at the moment?

(Your problem now, Indiana.)

Well, this is probably a bad sign.  Just a week after being fired from the UFC for an assault arrest following what may or may not have been a suicide attempt, Junie Allen Browning is wasting no time getting back into action. The mercurial lightweight reportedly has a bout set for November 28 at MMA Big Show: Onslaught at the Belterra Casino in Florence, Indiana.  Browning will be taking on 1-0 Ohio-based fighter Scott Cornwell, and he’ll be doing it just across the state line from his hometown of Lexington, Kentucky.

According to MMA Big Show owner/promoter Jason Appleton, who wrote the website article in which he quoted himself, “’I’ve seen Junie fight in Louisville, KY back in the day as an amateur and he always put on a hell of a show. Him and his brother were always fun to watch,’ explains Jason Appleton.”

Yep, we’re just going to act like nothing unusual at all is going on here.  That always works out for the best.

(Time to fill out those work visa applications, girls.)

Give Strikeforce credit, now that they’ve become a major player in the MMA scene they’re busy filling the holes in their roster as quickly as they pop up.  Their most recent addition is All-American wrestler and flamboyant Sengoku terror, Muhammad “King Mo” Lawal.  Strikeforce has reportedly signed Lawal on to compete in their 205-pound division – also known as the weight class Gegard Mousasi is currently dominating – but he’ll also be able to keep fighting in Japan.  Does this mean Strikeforce is inviting another Alistair Overeem scenario, should Lawal some day become light heavyweight champ?  We’re going to go ahead and say no, based purely on the unfounded assumption that, as an attention-hungry American, King Mo would probably rather hold it down on the domestic scene than run off on a study abroad hiatus for two years. 

No word yet on who Lawal might face in his Strikeforce debut, but he could be ready to fight by December.  Maybe “Babalu” Sobral will be recovered from his own nightmare scenario at the hands of “The Dreamcatcher” by then?

(Overeem’s last Strikeforce appearance, vs. Paul Buentello on 11/16/07.)

It’s no secret that Alistair Overeem isn’t exactly eager to come back to the U.S. to defend the Strikeforce heavyweight title that he won and then absconded to Europe with almost two years ago, but hey, maybe Brett Rogers’ recent shucking and ducking accusations might be enough to get him to consider putting that belt up for grabs again, right?  Wrong, sucka.  Very, very wrong.  Not only is Overeem not even going to respond to Rogers (sounds like someone else we know), he lets us all know straight up that fighting in Strikeforce is at the very bottom of his to-do list right now: 

During the press conference you said you will not comment on Brett Rogers words, but I need to ask again. This doesn’t bother you? Him talking the smack on the internet about you and how you’re not defending your Strikeforce title? 

I will not comment on this, I am very busy with K-1 right now, with all the fight I have there. When there will be time to meet in the ring he will see. For now, I will not comment. I am very busy these days, i have a fight in Glory, then in DREAM.12 and after that I’ll fight in the K-1 Finals so I am very busy with training and fighting and I don’t have time for this bullshit.

First of all, if you have time to give interviews where you talk about how you’re not going to talk about something, then you have time to issue a response.  I mean, if you really wanted to.  Second, and most importantly, Overeem’s list of upcoming engagements makes it very clear that Strikeforce is the least important obligation on his dance card, which ought to be just plain embarrassing for Scott Coker and the boys.  Like cleaning out the garage, he keeps saying he’ll get to it eventually.  And yet he makes no movement whatsoever to put his shoes on and get to work.

(Smiling on the outside, damn near dying on the inside.)

While we marveled at how much WEC interim lightweight champion Ben Henderson was able to fight through en route to winning a very close and possibly bullshit decision over Donald Cerrone at WEC 43, he didn’t emerge unscathed from the five-round battle.  Over at Versus.com, Ariel Helwani reports that after the fight Henderson collapsed in the locker room and abruptly stopped sweating, which led to him being rushed to three different emergency rooms to receive a total of four IV’s to treat his dehydration. 

As if that weren’t enough, a strike from Cerrone’s heel seriously injured his left eye in the closing seconds of the bout.  There was some concern that he might have a detached retina, but after seeing a specialist they learned on Sunday morning that it wasn’t quite that bad, and he probably won’t need surgery.  He’s scheduled to see another specialist back home in Phoenix today, but regardless of the diagnosis he will not be able to fight Jamie Varner in December.  We’re sure that will disappoint WEC general manager Reed Harris, who could be heard instructing Henderson to “call [Varner] out” at the end of the Versus broadcast, but Henderson’s manager says he could be cleared to fight in January or February, assuming that the WEC is still around by then and his eye has become fully operational. 

This fighting other people for money, it’s a tough business, no?  

(Yep, that’s the whole televised portion of the event. Henderson/Cerrone fight starts at around the 81:00 mark.)

While the judges’ decision in Saturday night’s WEC 43 main event between Donald Cerrone and Ben Henderson may have seemed like an absolute travesty to some, the one guy who isn’t complaining is, shockingly enough, the "Cowboy" himself.  After losing three of the five rounds on all three judges’ scorecards, Cerrone acknowledged that there might be some who gave him the nod, but insisted that Henderson “definitely won the fight.”  Wow.  Did not see that coming.  Said Cerrone:

"I’m obviously disappointed in myself.  I didn’t go out there and show what I had the first couple of rounds.  I asked my coach, ‘What round are we in?’ He said, ‘Fourth.’ I said, ‘Oh, [expletive], I better get going.’ …The guillotine, I felt him gargling one time.  But that son of a bitch just kept holding on.  Then one time I felt like he was knocked out on top of me. I was looking at the ref like, ‘What?’ But [Henderson] just kept coming around." 

Fair enough, Donald.  But allow me to tell you why you, and the judges, are wrong:

(Either Alistair Overeem is facing an extra from "Over the Top" or else Google Image Search has seriously led us astray.)

Though Sam Hoger doesn’t like it, some benevolent force in the universe has intervened to keep Alistair Overeem from calmly handing him his ass at Golden Glory 11 next Saturday.  In his place will be 11-2 Ohio-based fighter Tony Sylvester, who is at least in the same weight class as Overeem, though that’s about where the similarities between he and “The Demolition Man” end.  While Sylvester’s record looks impressive at first glance, it doesn’t stay that way under closer inspection.  His most recent loss came via decision against Chris Tuchscherer in the abortion known as YAMMA Pit Fighting.  He rebounded with a first-round TKO win over Roger Minton in his last effort, but that was a) almost a year ago, and b) against a guy making his pro debut.

In fact, if you look at Sylvester’s recent fighting history, six of his last eight victories came against guys who currently have losing records.  And the other loss on his record?  It was against Tim “Big Perm” Persey, who, while he may be the proud owner of an awesome nickname, is not exactly a world-beater himself.  This isn’t to say that Sylvester is no good.  I mean, I guess he can’t really help it if the guys he beats happen to lose a bunch of fights before and after they face him.  But at the same time, this is the guy who’s going to fight Strikeforce (absentee) heavyweight champ and top ten heavyweight Alistair Overeem?

("I came here to catch dreams and chew bubblegum, and I’m all out of bubblegum." Photo courtesy of URdirt.com.)

According to a new post on M-1global.com, Strikeforce light-heavyweight champion Gegard Mousasi has confirmed that he will be participating in a title fight at the upcoming "Fedor vs. Rogers" event on November 7th:

Yes, they’re referring to steroid-using donkey-man Paulo Filho, who was recently engaged in a war of words with Mousasi. We’re hoping that Filho is booked for this fight, because while Sokoudjou has been kicking ass in the highly competitive Super Hulk division, he hasn’t beaten a top-level light-heavyweight in two-and-a-half years. (As you might recall, Sokoudjou’s last fight at 205 pounds ended in him getting choked out by Strikeforce’s previous LHW champion, Renato Sobral.) At least Filho poses a threat on the ground, even if he’d probably get the snot knocked out of him in the standup exchanges. The Reward Hunter most recently took a light-heavyweight tune-up match at last month’s Bitetti Combat event, where he won a decision over TUF 1 vet Alex Schoenauer. In other Strikeforce news…

(Great, everybody’s got a belt or two. Big deal.)

The continuing saga of Strikeforce heavyweight champ Alistair Overeem gets weirder with each new chapter, and more and more it’s looking like he’s willing to do just about anything but fight in the United States.  More proof for that hypothesis comes by way of news that his next MMA fight may be against 8-4 UFC washout Sam Hoger.  Inside Fights says the fight has been verbally agreed to by both parties and will take place on an upcoming Shooto event.  We can’t help but think that Dream might be the more likely venue since they did make some vague promises recently about getting Overeem into their poorly designed cage later this month. 

On his Twitter page Hoger wrote that he “MAY have a date” with Overeem, and implored whoever might be reading that message not to “ruin it for me now.”  Unless one of Hoger’s 137 followers is in a management position at an MMA organization we’re not sure exactly how that would be possible, but for Christ’s sakes, if any of you Hoger fans have any pull, now’s the time to exert it.  Not only would this fight be a farce, but it might also be the kind of farce that results in Hoger taking his meals through a straw for the next several months.

It seems like the trials and tribulations never end for Jay Hieron.  The guy has had two different organizations pull fights out from under him, then he signs with Strikeforce in order to get a title shot against Nick Diaz, which he now can’t get due to Diaz’s, well, I’ll paraphrase Hieron here and call it "[monkeying] around." 

Talking to Steve Cofield, you can hear the anger and frustration in Hieron’s voice as he wonders why Diaz can’t get off the weed and forget about this boxing pipe dream long enough to do the only feasible fight that makes sense at this point.  Honestly, what is Diaz doing these days?  I realize he’s probably on his own program, but how long can you do bong rips and watch reruns of "227" before you wake up one afternoon and realize that your best years are slipping away and you’re not making the most of them?

If anybody has suffered enough in this business, it’s Hieron.  For Pete’s sake, Diaz, give the boy the fight.  You’ve got the rest of your life to get high and [monkey] around.

("Hug me or I’ll kill your entire family.")

According to an MMA Junkie report, Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos may not be available to defend her 145-pound title at Strikeforce’s November 7th "Fedor vs. Rogers" event because of an injury, apparently suffered during her participation in the 2009 ADCC tournament in Barcelona. Said her manager, Richard Wilner: "It’s unlikely that Cris will be fighting on [Nov. 7] but still possible. I’m awaiting her return from Spain to get her assessed by a doctor here. Out of respect to Strikeforce, CBS and Cris’ potential opponent, we alerted them to this issue early so as not to interfere with pre-production, preparation, etc." When Santos does make her return, her first opponent is expected to be Dutch submission specialist Marloes Coenen. In other Strikeforce news…

Colt Toombs (seen above in the black shorts) is the son of pro wrestling great/star of one of the greatest B-movies ever made, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, which is reason enough to expect great and crazy things from him.  But as you can see, Colt is also a young MMA fighter with pretty decent stand-up.  This Friday he steps in at Sportfight XXVI "Domination", where he’ll be taking on Matt Slosser at 145 lbs.  Normally, we wouldn’t care about the son of a famous person who’s competing at a regional MMA event.  But not only is this Piper’s kid we’re talking about here, he’ll also be competing on the same event as Ryan Couture, who takes on Nick Albert in the lightweight division.  Talk about a stacked card.  All they need is Brooke Hogan to sing the national anthem, and this will be a historic night. 

It sure looks like Piper’s son can fight, but the real question is, can he cut a promo like this?

(‘My heart, she breaks.’)

The sadists among you who were hoping Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic would go back home to Croatia and rediscover the will to fight by repeatedly kicking a wall at his family’s home, well, you’re about to be disappointed.  Cro Cop has now officially called it quits, telling Nokaut.com that he has “no motivation left and it’s time to leave.”  He also reportedly told his manager, Zvonimir Lucic, to release the various members of Team Cro Cop, which we assume included a young, bright-eyed intern who refused to accept the news and tried in vain to get a “Cro Cop” chant going even as everyone else filed silently out of the room.  

A sad day in MMA history, but a necessary one.  The game just ain’t in him no more.  We’ve already paid him a tribute, but allow us to dedicate one more video after the jump: