(Come on, man — think of all the good times you had here! Photo courtesy of daylife.com)

UPDATE, 12:35 p.m. ET: Cro Cop is official for UFC 99.

The UFC’s quest for foreign expansion is hitting some spike-strips, with two big-name fighters potentially slipping out of their grasp. First off, despite his blog-post enthusiasm that led everyone to believe he’d be returning to the Octagon at UFC 99, Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic still hasn’t signed a contract with the UFC. As Dave Meltzer explains:

(Say something about Castro again. Hector wishes you would.)

Regulatory difficulties in Quebec forced Bellator to get all old-school UFC and move Bellator IX to the glitz and glamour of Monroe, Louisiana, but they did what any good promotion would do: grabbed some crawfish and rolled with the punches.  Last night’s event narrowed down their finalists for the upcoming middleweight tournament, and they had a bunch of other fights just for fun.  Here’s how it went down:

Middleweight semi-final tournament fights:
Jared Hess def. Yosmany Cabezas via TKO at 4:26, round 3
Hector Lombard def. Damien Stelly via TKO (strikes) at 2:56, round 1

Non-tournament fights:
Nick Ring def. Isidro "Chilo" Gonzalez via submission (guillotine) at 0:39, round 1
Shad Lierley def. Nate Murdock via unanimous decision
Alex Andrade def. Christian Fulgram via TKO at 2:01, round 1
Shawn Jordan def. Jayme McKinney via submission at 0:30, round 2
Chan Leonhardt def. Dan Keenan via KO at 3:03, round 1
Chas Skelly def. Mike Braswell via split decision, round 3

(‘So how about if, like, at first I’ll let you beat me up some, then I start to come back, but I go for an elbow off the top rope and miss, right?  And then at the end, well, I haven’t decided who should win yet, but we’ll figure it out. Just saying though, it’d be more of a shock if it was me.’)

Affliction COO Michael Cohen contacted Fanhouse’s Ariel Helwani (and you know the situation is dire when people are actually calling Ariel rather than the other way around) to let us all know that there is absolutely no truth to the persistent rumor that Affliction III will be the organization’s last MMA event.  The fact that they’ve named it “Trilogy”?  Nah son, you shouldn’t read too much into that, says Cohen: “Trilogy just means that this is the third. This is the third of the series.”

Yeah, that’s the standard use of the word ‘trilogy.’  It refers to the third installment in a long and profitable series that continues to pump out new editions several times a year.  Like the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy and “The Godfather” trilogy.  Oh, wait.

(Image courtesy of AfflictionClothing.com via MMA Mania)

As our friend Kris Karkoski points out, "Naming the third Affliction event ‘Trilogy’ sure makes it sound like this is going to be their last card." Very true, though at least they’re finally giving us the fight we’ve been waiting for — of course I’m speaking of Dan Lauzon vs. Chris Horodecki. (Fedor Emelianenko vs. Josh Barnett should be a decent scrap as well.) As we reported earlier, "Trilogy" may feature that rumored somethingweight fight between Gegard Mousasi and Vitor Belfort, and the poster also promises appearances by Tim Sylvia, Ben Rothwell, Paul Buentello, and Renato Sobral.

Don’t worry guys, Dana already has you down on his tombstone…

With UFC 2009 Undisputed an unqualified success both here and abroad, we won’t be seeing five year gaps between UFC video games anymore. Dana White announced at last night’s 2009 Video Game Awards on Spike that next year would see the release of UFC 2010 Undisputed — which gives THQ one year to add heel-hooks and gogoplatas to the game and figure out how to animate Clay Guida’s hair. Of course, there should be a new crop of fighters in the 2010 edition as well. For those of you who have been furiously playing UFC 2009 Undisputed since its release, what other improvements would you like to see?

If you’re curious, the video after the jump shows you how to construct Fedor Emelianenko in the game’s "Create a Fighter" mode — though maybe he’ll be an official playable character one of these years…

(Gotta love Dana White’s newfound love of Twittering.)

Well, look who stopped by the UFC office yesterday, oddly right around the same time the UFC was putting together “Rampage” Jackson and Rashad Evans as the coaches of TUF 10, thus leaving Lyoto Machida without a title challenger.  Why, it’s our old friend "Shogun" Rua.  White said on today’s conference call that Machida would not be waiting until after Jackson and Evans settle their black-on-black crime beef in order to make his first title defense, so could it be that “Shogun” has already been tapped to do a little Brazilian-on-Japanese/Brazilian violence? 

(The question is, will Rampage get hit so hard he does "The Carlton"? Props to rubmyclips via TheGarv.)

Deal with it:

(On second thought, no, I wasn’t going to finish my sandwich. Please, by all means. Props to Esther Lin.)

Last night, Strikeforce sent out a roundup of quotes from a media conference call held yesterday, where Scott Smith, Andrei Arlovski, and Brett Rogers took questions about their upcoming matchups on June 6th. While Arlovski didn’t say much other than he was excited for the fight and he should have stuck to his gameplan against Fedor, "The Grim" stole the show, discussing everything from his preparation for Arlovski to Alistair Overeem acting like a fool. Here are some highlights:

What are your thoughts on being offered this big step up in opposition?
Rogers: Once I got the phone call and Arlovski was set in stone, I was excited. I remember watching this guy at a younger age and thinking, ‘man I get to take on someone like that?’ He’s an explosive guy; he likes to move around. It’s definitely going to be a challenge, but nothing I don’t think I can handle. He’s big, slimmer guy. He likes to move, he likes to be quick and move his hands. I’m kind of mellow with the fighting stance, so it’s definitely going to be me taking my time and controlling the fight.’’

UFC light-heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida and #1 contender Quinton Jackson are letting some cats out of some bags this morning. First we have the above image taken from the homepage of Machida’s official site, which announces that Machida and Jackson will be fighting each other in September — we’re guessing at UFC 103, since that show is currently without a main event, though the Couture/Nogueira card is also earlier that month.

But here’s the weird part: TUF 10 is slated to premiere in September — and weren’t Machida and Rampage supposed to be coaching against each other? Well, Rampage will definitely be a coach on the show (visual proof after the jump), but new reports indicate that the Dragon will be sitting this season out.

(When Frank Trigg finds himself in a jam, he just asks that suave son of a bitch in the mirror what to do. And he always knows just what to say)

Like it or not, Frank “Twinkle Toes” Trigg is headed back to the UFC Octagon for another go ‘round.  He’s thirty-seven years old and yet just signed a four-fight deal to compete in the UFC’s welterweight division, despite having competed intermittently as a middleweight recently.  Either the UFC felt his current four-fight winning streak or his 7-2 record since leaving the organization was good enough to justify another shot at the big time, or else they’re in desperate need of someone for Matt Hughes to fight.  Because oh no, Country Breakfast isn’t ready to hang it up just yet.

(It’s time you and Vitor had a talk about that investment portfolio he’s been managing for you. You better sit down for this.)

Just a day after former Dream middleweight champ Gegard Mousasi told everyone that he was fighting Vitor Belfort at Affliction III this summer, Belfort has responded by saying that Mousasi needs to put down the fork if the two of them are to have any shot of getting it on. Talking to those clever translators at Tatame who can make any foray into the English language an adventure, Belfort said he hasn’t gotten any confirmation from Affliction regarding his next fight, but added:

(Photo courtesy of The Sun.)

Thanks to his befuddling style and tendency to make opponents look like total amateurs, Lyoto Machida has never been one of those guys who other fighters like to call out. But a champion needs contenders, and if Quinton Jackson can’t figure out how to beat the Dragon later this year, someone will need to step up. Enter Mark Coleman. LatestMMANews chatted with the UFC Hall of Famer following UFC 98 and passed along these quotes:

(The flannel is coming back, bitches.)

Fresh off this morning’s Dream.9, which we’ll go ahead and call a success in the sense that no one died during the “ridiculously stupendous” freak show portion of the evening, Dream already has some plans for their next event, predictably titled Dream.10.  The organization announced that WAMMA lightweight champion (that’s still a real thing, right?) Shinya Aoki will face Vitor “Shaolin” Ribeiro in what will be Aoki’s first actual MMA fight since his TKO loss to Hayato “Mach” Sakurai.

Also at Dream.10, Melvin Manhoef will take on mercurial former WEC middleweight champion Paulo Filho in a fight that could be an awesome clash of styles or a complete mess.  I think we can all agree that Filho stands a good chance if he shows up in shape, focused, and not with one foot in the spirit world, but will get absolutely decapitated if he wigs out like he did against Chael Sonnen in his last fight.  Either way, it’s a strong addition to the July 20th fight card, which also includes the semi-final and final rounds of the Dream welterweight grand prix tournament, and possibly even the return of Kazushi Sakuraba.  Because hey, he’s not dead yet, and he’d prefer that the end come in the ring in front of a silent arena of Japanese fans.

In other bookings news…

(When you’ve got a championship belt on your shoulder and 200k in your pocket, all the ladies want a piece of you — even the old and busted ones. That’s your mom @ 0:37-1:01. Props to TATAMETV.)

The fighters who did battle at UFC 98 took home $1,196,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses, according to figures released today by the Nevada State Athletic Commission. Though Rashad Evans came into Saturday’s event with the highest to-show salary in the building ($200,000), Lyoto Machida tied his purse when bonuses were added in, and Matt Hughes actually surpassed both of them thanks to his bumps. The numbers — which don’t include any undisclosed backstage palm-greasing — are below…

Matt Hughes — $260,000 (includes $100,000 win bonus and $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
Lyoto Machida — $200,000 (includes $70,000 win bonus and $60,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
Rashad Evans — $200,000
Matt Serra — $135,000 (includes $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
Brock Larson — $102,000 (includes $21,000 win bonus and $60,000 Submission of the Night bonus)

(It was at that moment that Jose realized his life had become unmanageable. Photo courtesy of DreamOfficial.com)

DREAM.9 — which goes down tomorrow in Yokohama, and will be broadcast live on HDNet starting at 5 a.m. ET / 2 a.m. PT — is simply too epic for us not to liveblog. If you’ll be awake for some reason, swing by and find out how quickly/pathetically Jose Canseco gets his ass kicked by Hong Man Choi — as well as what happens with the rest of the Super Hulk Tournament opening round, the featherweight grand prix quarterfinals, and the Mayhem/Jacare middleweight title fight. If you’ll be sleeping like a normal person, just come over when you wake up and get caught up on all the insanity.

Weigh-in results are after the jump, courtesy of MMA Weekly.

(Photo courtesy of SI.com)

There’s nothing like a title changing hands, a hatchet being buried, and an upset or two to give the arbitrary numerical rankings system of the Potato Index something to talk about.  Let’s see who’s up and who’s down after UFC 98.

Lyoto Machida +316
He came into this fight as the favorite to win a boring decision.  Less than ten minutes later people were talking about The Machida Era as if it were the Ming Dynasty and lamenting the fate of whatever poor bastard had to face him next.  He proved you can be an elusive, complicated martial artist and still kick serious ass.  Dawning of a new age in MMA, or just a beautiful anomaly?

Rashad Evans -127
Becomes another 205-pound champ to lose his first title defense, and barely lands a punch in the process.  Keeping your back against the cage and trying to counter those whirlwind attacks can probably be ruled out as the strategy to beat Machida, but Evans had to try something.  Back to the middle of the pack.

(UFC 98 post-event press conference footage, courtesy of CageWriter.)

Confirming what many of us had already assumed, Dana White announced at Saturday night’s press conference that new UFC light-heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida will make his first title defense against former champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson. Though the match isn’t tied to a specific event yet, White also announced (perhaps not coincidentally) that the UFC would be holding a show at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on October 24th.

So, quick MMA rumor math: Machida will be fighting Rampage later this year + Rampage will be one of the coaches on TUF 10 = We might be seeing the Dragon lead a team of heavyweights on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter.

(I count 11 punches thrown and eight landed cleanly.  That’s precision destruction. Props: MMA Core.)

You can pick your reason for being surprised with the results of last night’s Lyoto Machida-Rashad Evans title fight at UFC 98.  If you expected Machida to win a less than thrilling five-round decision, you got to be completely shocked by seeing him turn into the guy who did the chasing for a change, as well as the guy who used Terminator-like accuracy to do the most damage with the least possible effort.  

If you expected Evans to use his wrestling to control Machida – a position which sounded so rational in my own head just twenty-four hours ago – you got to be surprised for all the above reasons and more.  Most likely your head is still spinning, and not just for lack of sleep.

Machida beat down a respected UFC champ (okay, one defending his title for the first time, but still) and made it look absurdly easy.  He did it in a fashion that has us all wondering if the fighter who might eventually dethrone him has even been born yet.  Just calling that performance ‘dominant’ doesn’t quite cut it.  Maybe that’s why I couldn’t help but be reminded of the Anderson Silva of two years ago, even as Anderson Silva fights like the Lyoto Machida of two years ago. I’m telling you, it’s spooky.

(Just after this photo was taken, Rashad respectfully grabbed his nuts and blew Lyoto a kiss. Props to Combat Lifestyle.)

It got Koscheck. It got Okami. It got Alexander and Irvin and Wilson. But by God, the UFC 98 curse will not rob us of seeing Sean Sherk and Frankie Edgar fight to an inevitable decision, or Dan Miller submit Chael Sonnen in the first round, or Rashad Evans and Lyoto Machida counter-counter-punch for the light-heavyweight title — unless the arena collapses within the next few minutes, which is always a possibility. Live round-by-round updates from tonight’s pay-per-view broadcast are after the jump; refresh the page regularly to see all the latest. Let’s get ready to EVAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!

(Kaplan/Roop is easily going to be Fight of the Night. And Dana went to MIT. Photo courtesy of this set on CombatLifestyle.com)

Spoilers after the jump…

(Does it even matter why this picture was taken?)

- Everyone is just trying to help Chuck Liddell. (Fightlinker)

- UFC Undisputed is a solid hit. (MMA Payout)

- Machida talks urine drinking. (Ask Men)

- The pros pick Evans vs. Machida. (Sherdog)

- Check out the final Bellator tournament schedule. (Fighters Only)

- Rashad Evans talks Machida, being the underdog. (Ask Men)

- Video of Machida vs. Bonnar. (MMA TKO)

- Top 3 most frustrating teams to watch in baseball. (Scores Report)

- The celebrity gender switch experiment. (Holy Taco)

- 10 great war movie quotes. (Screen Junkies)

- 56 insanely hot Indy car grid girls. (All Left Turns)

- Fat kid ATV jousting nut shot. (Nothing Toxic)

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Chris Wilson‘s month just went from incredibly awful to unbelievably terrible. As if getting home-invaded and robbed of all his valuables by Brazilian marauders wasn’t bad enough, the Team Quest welterweight now can’t even earn the money to replace what he lost. Bad, bad tidings from his blog:

(In the lobby of the MGM Grand, going mostly unnoticed.)

I’m not going to lie to you, Potato Nation.  There isn’t a whole lot of enthusiasm for this weekend’s UFC 98 event here in Las Vegas.   Maybe that’s not quite right.  Maybe it’s that there’s just not much awareness.  As great a presence as the UFC always has in Sin City, this week the reaction to the upcoming event from locals and tourists seems lukewarm at best.  But that doesn’t mean that MMA culture in general isn’t a pervasive force all around us.

(Don’t get used to it, buddy. By the way, those aren’t real tats — he’s wearing one of those queer-ass tattoo shirts. )

With his MMA debut coming in four days, you might be wondering what Jose Canseco has been doing to prepare for Hong Man Choi. After all, we’ve seen no photos or videos of him training at MMA camps, and he’s ignored every interview request from MMA news outlets (us included). It’s all a big mystery. Well, it seems like the real answer is the most logical one:

(Just before the nightclub brawl, Overeem also reportedly negged eight women and kino escalated on six.)

When it was announced that Alistair Overeem turned down a Strikeforce heavyweight title fight against Brett Rogers due to an injured hand, we thought it was one of those phantom injuries that mysteriously arises when someone asks you to fight a comparatively unknown up-and-comer on a month’s notice. But it turns out Overeem’s injury is very real. And there’s a pretty interesting story behind it. Fighter’s Only has the tale…

(Kampmann does some of his best thinking on the streets, right around dusk, wearing his UFC sweatshirt.  You wouldn’t understand, man.)

You have to love it when an MMA fighter explains why he turned down a fight that the UFC offered him and begins with the phrase, ‘No disrespect to [name of fighter he is disrespecting], but…’  It’s as smooth a move as saying, ‘Don’t take this the wrong way,’ right before you say something that you know will be taken the wrong way.  That’s basically what Martin Kampmann is doing while explaining to Versus.com why he turned down a fight with T.J. Grant that has been all over the internets the last couple days as if were totally official:

“No disrespect to T.J. Grant, but I don’t think it’s a fight that makes any sense for me at the moment,” Kampmann said. “I want to fight some higher ranked guys. I never even knew who the guy was, and he’s probably a tough guy. But I want to fight guys who make sense for me and who can escalate me up the ladder more, so I didn’t accept that fight. I don’t know what happened, but apparently some miscommunication somewhere because I saw it all over the internet.”

(‘I come only to drink my own urine and win decisions. And I am all out of urine for at least the next hour.’)

It’s….time!  Here we go again, arguing over UFC 98′s most compelling, pre-packaged storylines and making oblique reference to awesome internet videos we’ve wasted our time watching lately.  Just so you know what you’re in for.  And so it begins…

When Mike Tyson spoke of impetuous style and impregnable defense, he might as well have been describing Lyoto Machida. How can Rashad Evans beat him on Saturday?

BG: According to Jackson camp trainer Mike Winklejohn, Evans’s gameplan will involve countering Machida’s counters. But come on — do you really think Machida hasn’t been working on countering counters to his counters? (Don’t read that sentence while standing between two mirrors or your head will explode.) To be honest, we don’t know what works against Machida. We know what results in utter failure, and that’s trying to strike with him; if Evans is seriously planning on beating Machida in a point-karate match, he’s fucked.

Because of his elusiveness and competent takedown defense, Lyoto Machida hasn’t spent much time on his back during his career. But don’t forget, Evans is a fearsome wrestler. And as much as I hate watching this strategy in action, a boring lay-n-pray decision is Rashad’s best shot at keeping his belt. He just needs to borrow Clay Guida’s “Energizer Blanket” approach — shoot and get stuffed, shoot and get stuffed, shoot and score the takedown, lay on top until Machida escapes or the ref orders a stand-up, repeat as necessary, and win an unsatisfying decision without inflicting any real damage. Yes, it would be ugly, and the fans would be livid. I’d much rather see Machida ghost-ride Evans’s ass with punches and foot-sweeps until Sugar has a nervous breakdown on the stool between the fourth and fifth rounds. But hell, you asked for an answer and I gave you one.

BF: Impregnable defense, I’ll give that much to Machida.  But ‘impetuous’ in this sense means marked by an impatient, impulsive force or violence.  Does that sound like Machida to you?  He’s more like impregnable defense and indifferent style.  Whether he finishes you or not is of little consequence to him.  The guy can wait all night for a victory, and he has.  But on to the question at hand.  

(Josh’s "retarded proctologist" bit always brought a half-smile to Fedor’s face. Photo courtesy of fcfighter.com)

Yes, Affliction has yanked away the proverbial football a couple times before, but according to a new report on MMA Fanhouse, Fedor Emelianenko and Josh Barnett are really, truly going to fight this summer — we hope:

TUF 9.8 Stoppage and Kara DioGuardi Strips Down – Watch more Funny Videos

Last night, doe-eyed heartthrob Kris Allen pulled out a stunning victory over scream-queen Adam Lambert to become 2009′s American Idol. The two-hour-plus finale broadcast included guest performances by Kiss, Carlos Santana, Cyndi Lauper, Brian May/Roger Taylor, and a near-death Rod Stewart, and Kara DioGuardi ripped her clothes off for charity, which was fucking epic (I know, I’m sorry), and my God that woman is like the new Elaine Benes, and I mean that in the best possible way.

Directly after, on a fledgling cable channel called Spiked Television (I think?), there was a new reality show about what happens when 16 guys who live together in a house stop being polite and start getting real. Half of them had strange accents, and a fight broke out at the end.

This is their story.

(‘Why won’t you die!?’)

Apparently deciding that if he can’t fight Anthony Johnson he’d rather fight no one at all, Matt Brown has opted to sit out and heal up instead of taking a bout against a replacement opponent at the “Ultimate Fighter 9” Finale on June 20.  Johnson pulled out with an injured knee earlier this week, putting an end to a fight we were really looking forward to on account of the guaranteed aggression that would have resulted from putting those two guys in one cage.  

Brown reportedly decided to nurse some nagging injuries rather than fighting a late replacement, and you really can’t blame him.  Who knows, maybe the bout will still happen a little ways down the road.  It just seems too good not to.