(What?! Every beast needs to take a cat nap every now and again.) 

For reasons we will never truly understand, a lot of emphasis seems to be placed on the monikers designated to a given fighter. For guys like Randy “The Natural” Couture, the nickname often represents an extension of a their personality, or an underlying philosophy that they bring into the cage. Guys like Renato “Babalu” Sobral, on the other hand, carry perhaps the most authentic nicknames of them all; names that, although holding little to no meaning in terms of the fight game, were bestowed upon the fighter as a child and simply stuck. And then there are guys like Justin “The Nsane1″ McCully, whose nicknames were most likely derived from an ill-fated, drunken AOL Instant Messenger conversation at 3 a.m. with the intent of finding something “fresh” and “intimidating” to bring to the table.

But even lower on the nickname totem pole than the Joe Lauzons and the Kendall Groves of the world are the guys whose nicknames completely clash with the public’s perception of who they truly are, their gameplan once they step into the ring, or simply their abilities as a fighter in general. So it is with that in mind that we present you with a brief rundown of the top ten fighters who are in desperate need of a name change if they want to continue to be taken seriously.

#10 - Sam “Hands of Stone” Stout

Not only does Stout have only one knockout to his credit in his 13-fight UFC career, he only has one finish in his UFC career. Granted, the KO he managed to pull off against Yves Edwards at UFC 131 was a freakin’ brilliant one, but you don’t see Chad Mendes calling himself “The Guillotine Machine” because he was able to pull it off once a couple years ago. Perhaps “Hands of Limestone” would be something a little more appropriate.

Nicknames are like tattoos — badass when you first pick them out, generally embarrassing ten years later. And yet for some reason, they’re often the only things that MMA fighters keep forever, even as they change camps, change fighting styles, and change their hair. And while every fighter sends a message with their choice of nickname, it may not always be the message that they’re trying to send. For example, let’s say your nickname is…

A RHYME

Notable examples: Mike “Quick” Swick, “Bad” Brad Blackburn, Shannon “The Cannon” Ritch, Marvin “Beastman” Eastman
What you think it says: You’re straightforward and to-the-point. You want your nickname to stick in people’s heads.
What it really says: You spent no more than five seconds coming up with that weak bullshit.

A REFERENCE TO YOUR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN

Notable examples: Kamal “Prince of Persia” Shalorus, Efrain “Hecho en Mexico” Escudero, Sako “The Armenian Psycho” Chivitchian, “The Korean Zombie” Chan Sung Jung
What you think it says: You’re proud of your heritage and want to represent the fighting spirit of your people.
What it really says: You will be met with boos and “U.S.A.!” chants every time you fight, even though you’ve lived in Glendale your entire life.