(Skip to 3:45 to watch Sonnen chew up the scenery. Props: AlwaysSunnyonFX)

“It was just nice to finally get my break. I’m sure you can imagine, you know, the plight of the blue-eyed German male in this country, and if I finally get my chance, great — if it doesn’t, I’ll go back to the streets and return to gang-life.”

See? What did I tell you about this genius!

The eighth season of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia premieres Thursday, October 11th, at 10 p.m. on FX. It’s still unclear if Sonnen and the other members of the “replacement” cast will be actually be getting screen-time that night, or if this is just one of the most bizarre promos in the history of basic cable. couchbirth.gif, you guys.

(Bellator’s charmingly “WTF?” fight-finishes are coming to a reality show near you.)

Though Bellator Fighting Championships has been putting on high-quality fights for three years now, the organization and CEO Bjorn Rebney have been careful to not wage war with the UFC. However, it was announced today that Bellator will step just a little bit closer to direct-competitor status, with a reality show to air on the same cable network that gave the UFC its big break by airing The Ultimate Fighter — Spike TV.

After the UFC and Spike could not come to terms on continuing their partnership, Spike’s parent company Viacom bought Bellator, announcing that the new organization would begin airing programming on Spike in 2013. We now know that part of that will be a reality show featuring Bellator fighters and produced by The Amazing Race producer, Bertram van Munster.

“Some of the most physically-gifted and fascinating athletes in the world fight in Bellator, and I believe that they make ideal subjects for an innovative non-scripted series,” van Munster said in a statement released by Spike today.

(Props: NBC.com via BloodyElbow)

MMA’s awkward march into the mainstream continues! Last night on NBC’s Parks and Recreation, lovable meathead Andy Dwyer (Chris Pratt) co-hosted a Halloween party, and showed off his Chuck Liddell costume. It isn’t clear if the pitcher of beer was meant to be part of it. A scene from the episode is above; a photo of Andy doing the classic Iceman pose is after the jump.

Please share your own ridiculous Halloween costume plans in the comments section.

(It’ll be like their confrontation on Saturday, except with more nervous laughter from the interviewer. Props: isanoria)

Still don’t believe that the UFC likes to manufacture rivalries between fighters? Then how do you explain their decision to double-book Jon Jones and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson for a joint-appearance on tonight’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live? (ABC, midnight/11 p.m. central)

The soft-spoken UFC light-heavyweight champion and tough-talkin’ former champ are fresh off their personal-attack-heavy segment during the Shields vs. Ellenberger broadcast. Even with the two separated through the miracles of satellite technology, it felt like a fight could break out at any moment. So what will happen when they’re sharing the same couch to promote UFC 135?

As UFC.com mentions, “It’s unknown at press time whether the third guest on the show, Dr. Phil, will be brought in to try and smooth things over between the two.” Oh man. Kimmel, if you don’t make that bit happen, then Jimmy Fallon has won the war.

He made his bones knocking out palookas in the Toughman circuit in the ’90s, before transitioning into an MMA career where he was usually matched up against other oddly-shaped fighters. But now that he’s older and wiser — and still enormous — all Butterbean wants to do is protect and serve. That’s the premise of a new reality series called Big Law: Deputy Butterbean, which premieres August 9th on the Investigation Discovery channel.

The show follows Eric Esch (aka Butterbean, King of the Damn Four-Rounders) and his partner Deputy Adam Hadder as they patrol the streets of Jasper, Alabama, tracking down crystal meth labs and unsanctioned rib-eating contests. Will the 400+ pound ‘Bean be forced to scale a chain-link fence during a pursuit? Will Steven Seagal come in for a guest-spot? These are serious questions that need to be asked now.

When reached for comment, Tim Sylvia cried “What about meeeeeeeeeeee??” Anyway. You guys gonna watch this crap or what?

As the UFC’s new semi-official Ambassador to Women, light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones appeared on The Mo’Nique Show this week. It seemed like the only two people who knew who the hell Jones was when he walked in the room were Eddie Griffin and Mo’Nique herself, but baby, that didn’t matter. All the hungry crowd saw was a big, sexy man. Honestly, the vibe on set was downright bachelorette party-esque, and Bones did his best to play along.

It’s a pretty standard media appearance, otherwise. Jones explains his nickname for the 5,000th time, tells Mo’Nique what mixed martial arts is, etc. Luckily, Eddie Griffin is there to punch it up when the conversation gets slow. (“…and then I got hit one time, have you ever seen your own ass.”) Jones tries to show off his spinning back elbow, but instead gets served in a dance-off. Time well spent, folks.

(Props: ironforgesiron.com)

Not only did Brock Lesnar avoid dropping The Other F-Bomb during yesterday’s appearance on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, the former UFC heavyweight champion actually managed to come off as a fairly charming dude. Watch as Lesnar runs through his life story, explains his chest-tattoo and The Ultimate Fighter series, and — as is expected when you have a huge MMA fighter do a TV spot with a pencil-necked geek — chokes Jimmy out to end the segment. The book is called Death Clutch, and TUF 13 premieres tomorrow night on Spike.

After the jump: Lesnar does a longer and more serious interview with Ariel Helwani, in which he discusses his Ultimate Fighter coaching gig, gives his thoughts on Junior Dos Santos, and tries to make sense of his loss to Cain Velasquez.

Via IronForgesIron.com, here’s the video of Jon Jones‘s appearance on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno last night. The segment began with the UFC light-heavyweight champ handing Jay his belt as the Rickey Minor Band gamely worked its way through the Ultimate Fighter theme music. (“Time to end this suffering,” indeed.) Bones handed himself well. While fending off the advances of a very-smitten Kirstie Alley, Jones told the full story of his robber-apprehension in New Jersey before UFC 128, explained MMA to the old folks in the crowd, revealed how his mom beat him and his brothers twice a day (you know, because he grew up in such a strong Christian home), and then plugged his next fight against Rashad Evans, date still TBA. Your move, Brock. What did you guys think?

After the jump: Photos of Jonny Bones choking out Jay Leno and getting comfortable with Kirstie Alley.

On this week’s episode of FX’s Lights Out, a muck-raking sports reporter catches wind that the show’s protagonist — former boxing champ Patrick “Lights” Leary — is supporting his career comeback with some MMA bouts on the side. That reporter must also be a big fan of our site, because he titles his story “LIGHTS LEARY CAGE POTATO?” Yep, there it is on page one of the Bergen Star sports section, held up by the show’s requisite slimy boxing promoter, Barry Word.

I have to say, it’s a proud moment to have the name of this website pronounced with such disdain by Reg E. Cathey, an actor who I’ve long been a fan of, thanks to his work on The Wire and Pootie Tang. (That being said, we’re still going to sue FX for royalties. Fair is fair.) After the jump: A TV-shot video of the scene in question.

(Props: DrPhilShow)

…at least in New York, he will be. Not sure what time it airs over by you, but I’d suggest checking your local listings and setting your DVR, because Quinton "Rampage" Jackson is about to be on Dr. Phil‘s daily scold-fest, where he’ll be lecturing some kids about gang violence. Hopefully Phil won’t butcher Quinton’s name, like he did to poor Kenny Florini.

Look, we don’t really have anything to give away right now, but Rampage tweeted out a photo from the taping, and it has "caption contest" written all over it. Hit us with a clever caption to the pic after the jump, and maybe I’ll send the winner a Starbucks card or something. (You pussies drink fancy coffee, right?)

As Jason "Mayhem" Miller so loudly reminded us last week, the third season of MTV’s Bully Beatdown premieres November 4th. That’s tonight, guys. And they’re bringing out the big guns early — for the first time in the series, Miller will actually be fighting one of the bullies himself. (No, it’s not Nick Diaz.) As he told MMAGospel: "November 4 is the episode I fight. This wasn’t the plan originally but it came out so good that MTV decided to have it as the premiere episode. It’s on at 11pm EST. [Fans are] gonna see the biggest douche ever get beat the hell up by the coolest fighter ever."

Wait…so is Mayhem the "coolest fighter" or the "biggest douche"? I guess we’ll have to tune in and find out! As for the rest of the season, guest fighters include Eddie Alvarez, Tyron Woodley, Jeremy Horn, Nick "Afrozilla" Gaston, and Michelle "The Karate Hottie" Waterson. You can catch glimpses of them in the video trailer above. We can’t wait for the season finale, in which a chubby male nurse enlists the help of Georges St. Pierre to get revenge on the dye-jobbed asshole who’s been harassing him at work. It gets better, Brad!

(Props: FoxBroadcasting)

After trying to sit through an episode of American Dad one day, I made a vow to myself that despite my appreciation for Family Guy, I’m pretty much done with Seth MacFarlane side-projects and spin-offs. I’ve never watched The Cleveland Show. I kind of assumed it was just an outlet for all the cringe-worthy racial humor that was left on Family Guy‘s cutting-room floor, and that MacFarlane will eventually create The Joe Swanson Show, so that he can make more jokes about handicapped people. Maybe that’s an unfair bias. I wouldn’t know. 

Anyway, here’s a clip of Quinton "Rampage" Jackson doing a guest turn on The Cleveland Show as an avenging super-slave named Kunta Kinte 9000 who shoots missiles out of his arms. Jackson thinks it’s hilarious. He also thinks this is funny, so take that with a grain of salt.