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Tag: MMA promos

[VIDEO] This Promo for Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp is Crazy and it Doesn’t Even Feature Bob Sapp

In its own beautiful, twisted way, Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp represents a meeting of two MMA titans years in the making. In one corner, you have one of the most notorious (yet somehow, hilariously cursed) can crushers in MMA history. In the other, you have perhaps the most notorious can of all time, a man so pathetic, so feeble, so shameless, that he has openly admitted to folding at the first sign of trouble in most of the fights that comprise his current ten-fight losing streak. It’s a match made in freak show heaven, right up there with Shaq vs. Canseco and Martinez vs. Zimmer II.

So with all that in mind, it’s rather appropriate that the first promo for Emelianenko’s…we wouldn’t call it anticipated return features a bearish looking Aleksander knocking over children’s sand sculptures and doing his best to look as bored as he was with James Thompson. At least that’s what we think happened. The whole thing is in Russian, so some of the context in that intensely metaphorical chain sequence might have been lost on us. The promo does, however, contain the kind of weirdness that simply transcends the language barrier, so we hope you enjoy it as much as we did. In either case, we can’t wait to see Sapp’s response video.

So what’s the over-under on how long Sapp lasts in this one, anyway? Twenty, dare we say thirty seconds?

-J. Jones

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[VIDEOS] Chael Sonnen, Rashad Evans, and Arianny Celeste Relentlessly Torture One Young Man to Promote UFC: Macao Awareness


(Welcome to Hell, “UFC Fan.”)

The UFC has finally done it, Potato Nation. They’ve finally crossed the line in the fucking sand.

Over the past year, the petty larcenists and newly-reformed-but-not-really-reformed gang members that constitute the UFC’s marketing department have been facing increasing pressure from their shiny-headed overlord to try and convince us that the UFC’s injury plagued, garbage ass pay-per-views were worth our money. And because a group of ragtag, delinquent video editors can only do so much, they were forced to scramble: recycling decade-old highlights to try and sell us on one fight and using outright tomfoolery to sell us on another. Hell, they even got so desperate that they took the honest approach to advertising.

But their best efforts could not prepare them for the UFC’s first trip to China. “A card so early,” they cried, “No one will want to watch that! Why, boss? WHY?!” They were desperate, knowing they had to go big with this advertising campaign or they would surely lose their jobs and be cast back into the cesspool they once called an existence. So, drawing inspiration from the recently popularity of such “torture porn” movies as Saw, Hostel, and Breakin 2: Electric Bugaloo, they put together an ad campaign that no one could dare look away from: a prolonged public execution, as carried out by the UFC’s brightest stars.

Three experts were brought in: The Muscle (Rashad Evans), the Loon (Chael Sonnen), and the Brains (Arianny Celeste), and over the course of three weeks, the subject dubbed “UFC fan” in the header photo (out of respect for his family) was hazed to death.

Sessions 1 through 3 are after the jump. Caution: These videos contain graphic material. 

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Get an In-Depth Look at Bob Sapp’s Training Camp in the New ‘KSW 19′ Trailer


(This is approximately how you will feel after watching the video.) 

You know, for all the bizarre shenanigans Rampage Jackson seems to be getting himself into these days, he will never hold a candle to Bob Sapp. At this point in “The Beast’s” career, he has pretty much become a walking punchline in every sense of the word; a parody of a parody, if you will. And though it is easy to take shots at perhaps the lowest hanging fruit in the MMA landscape, we’re going to do it anyway. Let’s be honest, we follow Bob Sapp for the same reason that people watch reality television — to feel better about themselves afterward. He is the Troll 2 of mixed martial arts, a fighter so terrible that one only watches him participate out of a need to feel ironic. Why can’t we look away, you ask? Because white america has never felt less threatened by a 300 pound muscular black man in the history of its existence, and we like the feeling.

Clearly Sapp has begun to embrace this image to its fullest extent, for what else can one do when in the midst of what will likely become a record setting losing streak? If you don’t believe us, just check out the promo he made for his upcoming May 12th KSW 19 clash with Mariusz Pudzianowski, courtesy of IronForgesIron. In a word, it is a revelation.

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India’s First MMA Promotion Signs Exclusive Deal With Youtube and Their First Main Event is Going to be Epic


(Photographic proof that EVERYTHING in India ends in choreographed dance.)

Their name is Super Fight League, and when you click on the main page of their website, you will immediately be serenaded by a theme song that can only be described as…divine. Seriously, it’s like Eddie Van Halen, Lil Jon, and Sean Paul drank paint thinner, blew coke, and played Star Fox until this song came out. THAT’S HOW EPIC IT IS.

Anyhow, aside from being India’s very first MMA promotion, Super Fight League will also go down in MMA history as the first promotion to sign an exclusive deal with Youtube. Awesome, right? You want to know what’s even more awesome? Their very first card will be headlined by a heavyweight clash between James Thompson and Bob Sapp. Yes, that Bob Sapp.

Check out the awesome promo after the jump.

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