(I haven’t seen pizza-eating this sexy since Bijou.) 

Jade Bryce‘s ongoing war with the functioning keyboard rages on, Potato Nation.

Taking a break from her gig as the female Rich Little of MMA memes, the Bellator ring girl was recently photographed testing the limits of spandex and eating pizza* whilst rolling around in some dude’s apartment. Being that the dude who filmed this (Matt Blum) is some fancy photographer with his own website and everything, a pretentious French title (“La Faim”/”Hunger”) was slapped on what is essentially the first few minutes of a Casting Couch Audition because ART. It must have taken everything within his being to avoid shooting this in black and white through a fisheye lens.

I’m just busting Blum’s chops, of course, because he seems to have developed quite a knack for photographing incredibly attractive women in next to nothing (and often, simply nothing) and that is a profession that I will defend to the death. So cheers to you, Matt Blum, for when I bring my laptop into Best Buy tomorrow as per the weekly cleaning/memory wipe, I will do so with a look of pride on my face. If only just this once.

Video after the jump. NSFW, obviously.

(Video via YouTube.com/CagePotato)

Last week, we released a video of Bellator ring girl Jade Bryce busting out some impressions of famous MMA moments. But not all of her footage made it into the clip. To keep “MMA Impressions With Jade Bryce” to a tight two minutes, we left a couple shots on the cutting room floor. And like the frugal Native Americans who used every part of the buffalo, we’ve decided to use that extra footage for this bonus outtakes video, in which Jade tries her damn best to imitate Fabricio Werdum‘s creepy smile and Chuck Liddell‘s cageside freakout. A for effort!

Visit the newly-launched OfficialJadeBryce.com for more videos and news from Ms. Bryce, and please subscribe to our YouTube channel.

P.S.: The first person to identify the source of the audio clip at the very end gets a CagePotato t-shirt. Difficulty: CP Fanatic.

(Props: chokevic via Edith Labelle)

Long before we knew the names Arianny and Brittney, or Chrissy and Vanessa, the UFC’s round-card holders were a revolving door of anonymous female talent, often clad in denim ass-shorts and bedazzled halter-tops. And dammit, we liked it that way.

This must-see highlight reel takes us through 20 years of UFC ring girl history, from the delightful trashiness of the ’90s to the uniformed polish of today. The only gripe I have is the conspicuous absence of Ali Sonoma. WTF, guys. You can’t whitewash history.

(Props: TOFantasySports via TitoCouture.com. Dang, that song is so hot right now.)

Judging from this video, the consensus Hottest Woman in MMA has some amazing new photos in store for us, and though it’s kind of optimistic for anybody to be shooting a 2013 calendar, we respect Brittney Palmer for giving it a shot. You’ll be able to purchase the calendar on BrittneyPalmer.com, where she’s currently selling prints of her paintings of Johnny Cash, Jimi Hendrix, and…Dana White? Good times.

Get psyched for Brittney Palmer’s new calendar by checking out a few of the 2012 edition’s highlights after the jump.

(Props: MMACandy via Reddit/MMA)

Damn…this is even sexier than when Chael did it to Anderson at UFC 148. Three more MMA Candy videos featuring the lovely Brittney are after the jump.

(Props: BikiniModelFitness via BabesofMMA)

I gotta be honest — I’ve been watching these videos all morning, and the only part of my body that’s gotten a workout is my hand. (You know, from clicking “Replay” over and over again. Wait, you didn’t think I meant…come on, guys. Gross.)

After the jump: Superstar ring girl Jade Bryce moves from the glutes and legs to the abs and core. Check it out, and follow Jade on twitter for her latest photo and video updates.

We’re not going to waste time with meaningless words. Happy Friday, Potato Nation.

(Unbelievable props: YouTube.com/ClubCarmenValentina)

Carmen Valentina is a fun-lovin’ porn chick who just happens to be a daily reader of CagePotato.com. She was so smitten with our recent Georges St. Pierre GIF gallery, that she wanted to pay tribute in some way. And so, she recorded the above video of herself dancing, inspired by GSP’s own goofy moves.

We appreciated the opening shout-out, and we loved the dancing — but at the 1:20 mark, things take a turn for the legendary. Thank you Carmen Valentina, for producing the greatest Free CagePotato message to date, then personally insulting our staff writer DangadaDang. See, I told you guys she was one of us!

Show Carmen some love at @ClubCarmenXXX and CarmenValentina.com, and check out some of our favorite Carmen Valentina photos after the jump.

(Props: Matt Blum via BabesofMMA)

Holy crap. If you’re interested in watching Bellator ring girl Jade Bryce rub herself down for two minutes, you came to the right place today. My God, this chick. Video not safe for work, unless you don’t mind embarassing yourself at the office.

After the jump: For those who like their women taller and lankier (but equally blonde), please watch this video of Strikeforce ring girl Kelli Hutcherson‘s photoshoot for Maxim‘s Hot 100 special. In her first appearance, she landed at #93.

(To see the original round-of-16 bracket, click here.)

It’s true — we lost a lot of good women on Tuesday. But thanks to your votes, eight lovely ladies remain, and they need your help to advance to the semi-finals.

In case you’re new here, the instructions are simple: Cast a vote for your favorite MMA hottie in each of the four polls, with the help of the photographic evidence we’ve provided. Hit the “next page” link when you’re done with each poll. If you don’t see the poll widget under each pairing of girls, please refresh your browser or try a different one. Any questions, let us know in the comments section. We’ll collect the results and announce the winners next Thursday.

You ready? Then let’s get it on…