Bad news for Aoki: he may not be able to use those magic tights.

According to a report by Sherdog, Bellator is trying to wrangle a actual, no-shit SuperFight for Eddie Alvarez — a rematch against the Japanese submission wizard Shinya Aoki. The two met previously at Dynamite!!! 2008 for the DREAM lightweight championship, which Aoki won in just 92 seconds via heel hook.

The loss was Alvarez’s first (and only) loss at 155; he’s since reeled off seven straight wins in Bellator and DREAM, winning the Bellator lightweight strap along the way. Alvarez has seen his stock rise in the intervening years, while Aoki has suffered some humiliating losses, including an epic beatdown from Gilbert Melendez for Strikeforce and a hilarious KO loss to Yuichiro Nagashima at DREAM’s 2010 New Year’s Eve show.

Oh man, you thought last week’s Rumor Funhouse was grossly irresponsible? You guys have no idea what’s in store for you. Today’s installment features five warm ‘n fuzzy tales, all about the romantic bond. Four of them have been completely made up, either by us or by other people. One of them is actually legit. Can you separate the bullshit from the chicken salad? (That’s what they say down South, right?) Read on if you dare. Actually, don’t. Just move along. You’ll be a lot better off for it…

(Ortiz and Liddell will settle their grudge once and for all on New Year’s Eve…OR WILL THEY?? / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle)

One of my weekly MMA must-reads is the "Sunday Morning Rumor Mill" column on MiddleEasy, which features a bunch of juicy stories that just might be true. In homage to our pals, we’d like to start a similar feature on CagePotato — except ours will work a little differently. Of the eight items you see below, seven have been pulled directly out of our asses. The other one is absolutely, positively, 100% true, and has been confirmed by inside sources. Which one is it? We’d rather not say, due to legal reasons. You’ll have to figure it out yourself…

– Vinicius Quieroz wasn’t the only fighter who was caught by the UFC’s independent drug-testing at UFC 120. There was a second guy who pissed hot for the same steroid, but the company decided to let him off with a private (but very stern) warning. Hint: Main card, but not main event.

– Arianny Celeste has been dating a former UFC fighter for the past year, but has kept the relationship hidden from the public, in order to protect the fantasy that she’s "available" to her fans. We can’t reveal her boyfriend’s name, but his initials are Tiki Ghosn.

("Another opponent that will tool me on the ground? YES!" Photo courtesy of MMA Frenzy.)

According to a new report on Sportsnet.ca (which was also confirmed by MMA Mania), former UFC interim heavyweight champ Frank Mir is tentatively scheduled to face Cheick Kongo at UFC 107 (December 12, Memphis). Mir will try to bounce back from his crushing loss to Brock Lesnar at UFC 100, while Kongo is coming off his own smothering defeat against Cain Velasquez at UFC 99. The match would support the headlining light-heavyweight scrap between TUF 10 coaches Quinton "Rampage" Jackson and Rashad Evans.

We know Kongo hits hard, but if Mir can get this one to the mat, his massive jiu-jitsu advantage could decide the fight. No matter what happens, both guys have a lot to lose in this one. (I wonder if Mir will keep pushing his "cocky bastard" routine now that he’s been completely humbled?) Speaking of UFC 107, Rampage and Rashad will be the subjects of a Primetime mini-series on Spike, showcasing their preparations for the match. Think about it, know it, see it.

Before we get started, let me just point out that MMABay.co.uk has an accuracy rate of about .500 when it comes to breaking news — which is great if you’re batting cleanup, and not so great if you’re an MMA news site. So take the validity of this rumor as somewhere between "Kimo Leopoldo is dead" and "Josh Barnett is innocent." Anyway:

 
"I’m not his father, okay, he can do whatever the hell he wants to do. I’m his friend, and I care about him a lot, and I’d really like to never see him fight again."

So said Dana White on the TUF 9 Finale edition of "Inside the Octagon", perhaps loosening on his stance that Chuck Liddell will never fight again. Could it be that one more go-round for the Iceman is in the works? According to an Inside Fights report on potential main events for UFC 103 (September 19th, Dallas), yeah, maybe:

(Yep, that’s the face you make when you realize that you’re now famous enough to get laid without making any effort at all.)

No one is more eager to find out what awaits heavyweight contenders Shane Carwin and Cain Velasquez than we are, but from the sound of things some people may be jumping the gun a bit regarding rumors that the two are headed for a clash at UFC 103.  Inside Fights says sources have told them that Carwin and Velasquez could be the co-main event for the September event in Dallas, Texas, right alongside Mike Swick vs. Matt Hughes.  And yeah, they clarify that the bout has not been agreed to, but Carwin says it hasn’t even been discussed:

UFC light-heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida and #1 contender Quinton Jackson are letting some cats out of some bags this morning. First we have the above image taken from the homepage of Machida’s official site, which announces that Machida and Jackson will be fighting each other in September — we’re guessing at UFC 103, since that show is currently without a main event, though the Couture/Nogueira card is also earlier that month.

But here’s the weird part: TUF 10 is slated to premiere in September — and weren’t Machida and Rampage supposed to be coaching against each other? Well, Rampage will definitely be a coach on the show (visual proof after the jump), but new reports indicate that the Dragon will be sitting this season out.