(This is the current front-runner. Seriously. This. / Props: Jeffrey T.)

Guys, we need to talk. Last week we launched a photoshop contest with Punch Buddies, asking our readers to brainstorm some other folks who need to feel the wrath of Melvin Guillard. Man is it not going well. After the jump, you’ll find four more recent submissions. These include: Two examples of Melvin dealing with folks who are already dead (classy!), Rupert Murdoch palming Melvin’s head like a basketball (not exactly what we’re going for here), and a photo-collage that looks like it was created by an insane person. So if you want a Punch Buddies Young Assassin shirt, it won’t take much effort to steal this thing. Please e-mail your entries to submission@ngaugeinc.com by Thursday night. Good luck.

(Image courtesy of NGAUGEinc.com)

That, my friends, is the first design from a new t-shirt line called Punch Buddies — brought to you by NGAUGE, the madmen previously responsible for Trash Talkin’ Kids. (Ed. note: TTK was literally sued to death shortly after we featured them on this site. Hopefully we can keep this new brand a secret from Hitler and Bin Laden’s lawyers.) Y’know, we’re big fans of Melvin Guillard, and we appreciate the subtle humor of this “Young Assassin” shirt. I bet you didn’t even notice that lynched klansman on fire in the background. So ironic!

Two questions: 1) Do any of you have the balls to actually wear this shirt in public? And for the brave souls who answered “yes,” 2) Would you be willing to enter a photoshop contest to get one?

Smug © (Pic: Zimbio.com)

Perhaps we were all a little quick to bag on Josh Koscheck for taking a legal dump on “Trash Talkin’ Kids“, Stephan Bonnar’s new irreverent line of MMA shirts. True, he does have a track record of being kind of a dick, but this wouldn’t be the first time that we’ve jumped to conclusions about the UFC Welterweight only to back track a little. Lesson learned. From now on, we’ll reserve judgment until all of the facts are in and give Kos the benefit of the doubt. Nah, not really, but here’s the latest on this story.

Koscheck sat down with the folks at BleacherReport.com to give his side of the tale. According to Kos, his problem with the shirt in question has nothing to do with being the butt of a joke, but rather stems from a preexisting exclusive contract.

(The ‘Josh Kosh M’Gosh’: Taken from us too soon. Props: facebook.com/TrashTalkinKids)

Due to his unauthorized depiction in the “Trash Talkin’ Kids” t-shirt line, UFC star Josh Koscheck is suing NGAUGE, the MMA artwork and apparel company co-founded by Stephan Bonnar. NGAUGE was officially served with notice of the lawsuit yesterday morning.

Though a source at NGAUGE told us that reaction from the other fighters depicted in the shirt series (including Georges St. Pierre and Brock Lesnar) has been uniformly positive, Koscheck apparently didn’t see the humor in being associated with a brand of children’s overalls. Which is too bad, because that shit is kind of hilarious.

(Click for larger versions. And take some time to consider what this says about your personalities, you sadistic sons-of-bitches.)

After two days of voting for our Trash Talkin’ Kids t-shirt design finalists, the Potato Nation has made it clear that their two favorites are Chris C.’s “Lost Kos” shirt — which ended up way ahead of the pack with 23.4% of the vote — and Michael P’s “Wake Up Chuck!”, which collected 16.5% of the vote. Grease St. Pierre (15.7%) and Hematoma Hominick (15.2%) were close behind, if that makes you feel any better. The full results can be seen in handy bar graph form here.

So, Chris and Michael, you lucky, lucky boys, please e-mail contest@cagepotato.com with your address, shirt size, and choice of real Trash Talkin’ Kids t-shirts from the designs below. Thanks to TTK for making this happen, and for everybody who designed, voted, and commented. We’ve got more free swag to give away next week, so stay tuned…

(The “Ace”: Coming soon from Trash Talkin’ Kids.)

Thanks so much to everybody who sent in submissions for last week’s Trash Talkin’ Kids t-shirt design contest. We were overwhelmed by the number — and sheer stupidity! — of your designs, and we honestly had a blast going through them. With the help of our friends at Trash Talkin’ Kids, we picked out eight finalists based on humor, creativity, and effort. To see all of the submissions, head over to facebook.com/trashtalkinkids, where they’ve uploaded the finalists plus a bunch more entries that didn’t quite make the cut.

And now we need your votes to make this thing official. Please check out the Elite 8 after the jump, and vote for your favorite in the poll at the bottom of the page. The two highest-voted designs will both be receiving actual TTK shirts. Winners will be announced Thursday. Aaaaaand go!

(Stephan Bonnar — supermodel. Props: TrashTalkinKids)

[Update, 11:56 a.m. ET: The submission e-mail has changed; see below. If you've already submitted an entry, there's no need to re-submit.]

One of my favorite booths at the UFC Fan Expo in Toronto was Trash Talkin’ Kids, a brand-new t-shirt line that combines MMA fighters with one of the most horrible fads from the 1980s. As a dude who appreciates lowbrow humor more than skulls and wings, these shirts spoke to me.

TTK was cool enough to hook us up with a couple shirts for the Potato Nation. It’s been a long time since we’ve done a t-shirt design contest, so we thought we’d give it another shot. Your challenge is this: Create a t-shirt design in the style of Trash Talkin’ Kids. (Basically, a well-known MMA fighter, a weird Garbage Pail-esque pun using their name, and a gruesome visual representation of that pun.) Details continue after the jump…

(“Wait, you’re giving this to me for *free*? My goodness, I’ve stumbled onto the perfect crime!”)

Much like myself, Dana White pretty much lives in t-shirts. It’s his trademark, like Don King’s hair, or Mark Pavelich’s eyebrows. The difference is, DW usually gets paid to wear his t-shirts. Like I said last week, Dana’s torso is the best viral advertising platform on basic cable. So, in honor of our unhealthy fascination with this man, here are 24 noteworthy Dana-in-a-t-shirt photos, along with some brief analysis.

(Wearing a t-shirt that references a local sports team is one of the easiest ways to be liked by strangers. In the pro-wrestling world, they refer to this sort of thing as a “cheap pop.”)

(The “American Wacko” t-shirt, from TrashTalkinKids. Still waiting on my “Snot Jorgensen” tee, guys.)

Riding high on a two-fight win streak against Krzysztof Soszynski and Igor Pokrajac, Stephan Bonnar will likely take on yet another dude with a weird European name in his next appearance. Multiple sources reported today that the American Psycho will face aggressive Czech prospect Karlos “The Terminator” Vemola at UFC on Versus 5, August 14th in Milwaukee.

Vemola (8-1, all wins by first-round stoppage) made his name competing in England as a heavyweight, Donkey Kong-ing most of his terrified opponents in under two minutes. He suffered his first defeat in his Octagon debut at UFC 116, getting slept on by Jon Madsen for three rounds. Wisely, the 6-foot fireplug immediately dropped to light-heavyweight, and beat the living crap out of Seth Petruzelli, picking up a Knockout of the Night bonus in the process. Vemola was slated to return against Luis Cane at UFC 128, but had to withdraw due to a mouth infection.

Killer matchup, if you ask me. Battle-tested vet vs. young juggernaut — who ya got?

(Off camera, Mike Goldberg is just another golden-voiced hobo.)

This week’s caption contest brought in 235 entries — or about 140, if you take out all the spam comments and painfully obvious references to Menace II Society. After careful consideration, we’ve chosen three winners, who will be scoring new t-shirts from Ranger Up. But first, some honorable mentions…

Horror Fighter: With his camouflage coat, Goldberg was confident that he could steal Matt’s beer unseen.

FightZen: “Matt ‘The Law’ Lindland, is, unquestionably, the most accomplished beer drinker in the middleweight division.”

DangadaDang: One thing that’s amazing about Guinness beer is that its hoppiness is so…hoppy.

RWilsonR: “Hey Matt, want to see what’s on a meteoric rise right now? I’ll give you a hint… it’s in my pants.”

Naked Rear Poke: MG: Now, try not to look too shocked because I know he’s a LOT shorter in real life, but he’s a huge fan of yours. Matt, meet Eminem!
Naked Rear Poke (again): MG: Hey Matt, do you think this necklace makes me look less like someone with the surname ‘Goldberg’?

And now, your winners…

(Above: The Waldo. Below: The Navy SEAL Bin Laden shirt, and the “We Will Not Fail” shirt. Click the links to learn more and see rear-views.)

On May 1st, 2011, terrorist mastermind Osama Bin Laden was finally brought to justice — American-style, with a bullet to the head. Here in New York, it was like we had won the World Cup or something. Years from now, you’ll probably want to have something to remind you of this triumphant, bizarre, overwhelming moment in our country’s history. That’s where Ranger Up comes in. We’ve featured their patriotically ass-kicking shirts on this site before; now they’re releasing three brand-new designs, perfect for wearing while you’re pissing on the graves of murderers.

R.U. is giving us one shirt of each new style to pass along to you fine people. You know the deal: Check out the photo after the jump of Mike Goldberg and Matt Lindland chillin’ in New Jersey, and submit a humorous caption in the comments section by tomorrow at midnight ET. We’ll announce the winners on Thursday. Can you defeat your fellow Potato Nation members in a battle of wits? Well, let’s see what you got. For more manly apparel, check out RangerUp.com.

(Mike V., representing at WWE Raw)

Yeeeaaaaahhh buddy! Time to give away some more Free CagePotato t-shirts to those of you who posted “Free CagePotato” signs on our Facebook wall, or sent a unique and persuasive tweet @danawhite with the #freecagepotato tag. If we ran your photo or tweet this week, please e-mail your name, shirt-size, and address to contest@cagepotato.com, and we’ll hook you up…as soon as the shirts come in. (Be patient, guys.) Thanks for the support, and please continue to submit your entries for a chance to be recognized next week. More good stuff after the jump…

(Mike S., doing his Jake Shields impression. Damn, how’d you get all those Hall of Fame shirts?)

(Props: mmachiro)

So here’s how we’ll do this: Every week, we’ll announce a handful of our favorite #freecapotato Twitter messages and Facebook photos. As promised, those people will all get “Free CagePotato” t-shirts; if we run your photo or tweet, please e-mail your name, shirt-size, and address to contest@cagepotato.com, and we’ll hook you up. Lots more after the jump…

(Props: Miles B.)

Even if you can’t make your way out to Toronto for the UFC Fan Expo, you can still be part of the “Free CagePotato” movement. For the next month or so, we’re going to be giving away a bunch of the brand-new tees you see above. If you want one, there are a couple of ways to do it…

1. The Twitter Way: Send a tweet of support to @danawhite that includes the hashtag #freecagepotato. (The message must be a positive one. No verbal abuse, please.) Every weekday, we’ll pick our favorite one and hook that person up with a shirt.

2. The Facebook Way: Take a picture of yourself posing with “Free CagePotato” written on a hand-made sign (kind of like the one after the jump) or on your own body (keep it clean, people). Then, upload it to our Facebook wall. We’ll collect our favorites at some point in the future, post them on the site, and award them all t-shirts.

(“Alright ladies, now smile as if you have any f*cking clue what’s going on right now.”)

Thanks to everybody who entered this week’s caption contest, which produced over 200 entries, most of them pretty damn funny. And yet, only three of you will be earning t-shirts from Alchemist Clothing. Doesn’t seem fair, does it? Anyway, let’s begin with some honorable mentions…

destinationblood: All they had left at the Halloween store was stewardess costumes, Rambo guns and a Fred Flintstone tie.

J. Spaceman: Hey Frye, this is how a real man pads his record!

missedcue: Even elite MMA fighters need Apple tech support.

missedcue, again: Dana: “Yeah I guess that’s cool but you still ain’t getting into the Smasher Group.”

intercept440: GAY TEST: If you notice the inconspicous black guy in the back ground…I have some bad news for you.
[Ed. note: Or, if you noticed Tim's pants before anything else...]

Ajax Says: After what happened in the fifth grade, Tim swore he would never have a bad yearbook picture ever again.

MaxS: No ladies that’s NOT a gun in my pocket…that’s just what “Ranger Up” means.

Morningwood: Now THIS is how you raise 120 bucks!

And now, the big winners:

(Nate Marquardt’s UFC 128 walkout shirt — just one of many fine shirts available at AlchemistClothing.com)

You may know Alchemist as the MMA management company fronted by MC Hammer. You may not know that Alchemist has its own clothing line, featuring signature shirts created for its stable of fighters including Nate Marquardt, Jorge Rivera, and Stefan Struve. To help spread the word, Alchemist is giving us three t-shirts to give away to CagePotato readers. As always, there’s a catch.

Check out the photo after the jump of Tim Kennedy fist-posing next to his personal stewardesses, and write a clever caption in the comments section. Submit your entries by Friday morning at 9 a.m. ET, and we’ll announce three winners later that day; if you’re one of them, you get an Alchemist shirt of your choice. Any questions? For more free swag, ‘Like’ Alchemist on Facebook and follow them on Twitter. They do giveaways more often than Charlie Sheen does pornstars. (#hey-oh #topicalhumor)

(Images via MiddleEasy)

A year after Zuffa banned Hoelzer Reich as a fighter sponsor due to their uncomfortably Nazi-ish t-shirt designs, another apparel company is under scrutiny for a potentially offensive symbol. As first spotted by WRESTLENOW on the UG, Clay Guida appeared in a recent Fight! Magazine video wearing a Silver Star shirt featuring a totenkopf. Translated to "skull of a dead man," the totenkopf symbol has been used in the German military since the Prussian army of the 18th century, but it is most closely associated with the Nazi SS – especially the particular version shown above, in which the totenkopf is shown in half-profile – and is currently favored by Neo-Nazis. 

(Shirt images courtesy of 62Gear.com)

After two days and 350+ submissions, we’re proud to announce the three winners of this week’s caption contest, who will be picking up some kickass new t-shirts from Six Deuce! Was your entry worthy of recognition? Find out after the jump. But first, some honorable mentions…

(Images courtesy of 62Gear.com. Click to see larger.)

Our dear friends at Six Deuce have come out with two eye-catching new t-shirt designs that we thought you should be aware of. On the left is the "Fall Seven," which pays tribute to a famous Japanese proverb. On the right is the "Muay Thai Arena" shirt, which is basically just two guys fighting. You want ‘em? Well, you came to the right place.

After the jump, you’ll find a photo of Alistair Overeem meeting a river horse at some sort of broke-ass Dutch petting zoo. Submit a clever caption to the pic in the comments section by this Wednesday at noon ET; we’ll pick our three favorites and post ‘em later that day. First place gets both new Six Deuce shirts plus a pair of their satin MMA fight shorts. Second and third place get their choice of one of the new shirts shown above. Sound good? Now go earn it. And check out the rest of Six Deuce’s MMA clothing and equipment at 62Gear.com!

The votes have been tallied, and we’re pleased to announce a winner in our MMA fighter t-shirt design contest, presented by FLO TV. After grabbing attention as an early favorite, tj.labs’s Caol Uno shirt (shown above) sailed to a comfortable victory with 20% of the popular vote. Congrats, buddy! Please send your real name and address to contest@cagepotato.com and we’ll get you set up with a FLO TV Personal Television, with access to the pay-per-view broadcast of UFC 115.

We’d also like to show a little love to the contest’s three runners-up, who you can check out after the jump. Chin up, guys — shoot your info to contest@cagepotato.com and we’ll hook you up with CagePotato t-shirts. Thanks again to FLO TV for their support, and please give ‘em a look at flotv.com.

(Image courtesy of FLOTV.com)

Happy Memorial Day, Potato Nation! As promised, we are proud to present the finalists of our FLO-TV t-shirt design contest, which brought in nearly 100 brilliant entries over the last two weeks. Please study all 16 (!) of the nominated designs after the jump, then vote for your favorite in the poll over on the right. (It’s a little bit down the page, under the "Most Recent Comments" box and the Power Rankings link.) Get your votes in by Thursday night at midnight ET; we’ll announce the winner on Friday, who will score their own FLO TV Personal Television, with access to the pay-per-view broadcast of UFC 115. Überprops to everybody who entered, and to FLO TV for making this happen! 

(Props: tj.labs)

We’ve reached the mid-way point in our fighter t-shirt design contest, and the submissions are rolling in nicely; many thanks to everybody who sent in designs. To re-ignite your competitive fires, we’ve posted some of our current favorites, which continue after the jump. Please send your entries to feedback@cagepotato.com by Sunday, 5/30, at midnight ET. Voting on the finalists will begin the next day, and the top vote-getter will score that FLO TV Personal Television, with access to the pay-per-view broadcast of UFC 115. So get crackin’…

(Props: Brian R.)

(Props: Stevicus. Click here for larger version.)

From Clay Guida’s "Eddie the Head" tribute, to Jens Pulver as Little Mac, to Tri-Coasta’s now-ubiquitous Korean Zombie design, we’re suckers for a good custom fighter t-shirt. And since our recent MMA event poster design contest was a smashing success, we figured we should let our artistically gifted readers battle it out again in a brand-new contest: Can you design America’s Next Top Fighter T-Shirt?

Details of the contest are after the jump, but we thought it would be important to let you know what you stand to win. Short answer: Everything. You stand to win everything. Longer answer: A personal television from FLO TV, with access to the pay-per-view broadcast of UFC 115. In case you’re unaware of this lovely little device, here’s a quick rundown: The FLO TV Personal Television is a mobile handheld viewer that allows you to watch TV wherever you go, on its subscription-based network of channels. (12 months of their standard service comes included with every FLO TV.) Beginning with UFC 113, FLO TV is now a distributor of UFC PPV events, and they want one lucky member of the Potato Nation to watch Liddell vs. Franklin on his/her very own mobile television. Total street value of this prize package: About $425. Kenny Florian can vouch for this product personally, but if you need more info, go here and here. Information on FLO TV coverage areas can be found at flotv.com. 

You want it. Here’s how to get it.

(Top: TUF 11 "Minority Report" member Kris McCray models the War Eagle Flag shirt from Ranger Up. Directly above: The War Eagle Crown and Phoenix Rising shirts.)

The honorable military men over at Ranger Up have just given birth to some new t-shirt designs, and they’d like a few select members of the Potato Nation to have them. Here’s how to win: Check out the photo after the jump, come up with a caption that makes us laugh, and post it in the comments section. Please submit your entries by Sunday at midnight PT; we’ll choose three winners on Monday, who will be eligible for one of the t-shirts shown above. Sounds good? Well get going, and if you have a chance please check out Ranger Up’s full line of badass (and occasionally hilarious) t-shirts, and visit The Rhino Den for RU’s original articles on MMA and military life.

 
(Image courtesy of Jimbo Jones, who will probably not be winning the Six Deuce MMA poster contest.)

The non-stop wave of MMA action continues this coming Saturday in Nashville, as Strikeforce presents three title fights (and Jason Miller) at the Bridgestone Arena. Head over to fightpicker.cagepotato.com right now to start making your pool selections, or play the game on Facebook if you’re so inclined.

Unfortunately we can’t give away stolen televisions every week — congrats to TheDemon, by the way — but we still think the current FightPicker prize pool is worth checking out. A reasonable 500-chip buy-in will allow you access to the "MMA Fan Pack Pool 25 #1476." The winner of this pool will receive the following:

– A PRIDE T-Shirt
– A PRIDE 33 DVD
– A UFC "Best of 2009" DVD

Only 25 players are allowed entry, so look sharp. Now let’s take a look at the questions you’ll need to ace to score the loot…

    
      
(Images courtesy of 62Gear.com)

You may remember Six Deuce as the brilliant gear and apparel company that gave us the Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory t-shirt. Well, they’re rolling out some new product, and they want you to be the first person in your gym/book club to sport it. So shut up and listen for a minute: We have on our hands a grand prize training pack that consists of the following items, pictured above…

– These shiny red satin MMA fight/board shorts
– The Fedor-rific Glorious Sweater t-shirt
– These high-quality leather Muay Thai training gloves
– A pair of black hand wraps
– A pair of Muay Thai ankle supports
– This leather speed bag

Total street value of this prize package: About $179. But you’re not going to pay for it. No, child, you’re going to win it. Here’s how…

(Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

This week’s caption contest brought in over 350 entries — and yet none of them were references to Dr. Manhattan. Crazy. After considering all of your brilliant work, we’ve chosen three winners who will score Five Principles t-shirts from Tokyo Five. But first, some honorable mentions:

Desimus: Here you can see Rogan and Vera playing a game of "Guess where bits of my face will end up!"

Smitty: Yes, to the gentleman in the back…..I wear the speedo to show why I talk like a black man.

Ring_Rust619: "Hey honey, this is how many fights I have left till we have to rely on you winning fights to pay the mortgage"

Phil Bologna: "Strikeforce is that way!!!"

therussianglamourpuss: Brandon Vera and Joe Rogan point to their modesty and objectivity, both of which remained a good distance away.
therussianglamourpuss: Brandon Vera would rather go naked than wear Tapout.
[Ed. note: Great first effort, glamourpuss. Welcome aboard.]

ArmFarmer: I’m not reading 6 pages of this bullshit. I’m just going to assume that like the first page there is about 2 funny comments per page, the rest are unfunny to the point that they are painful to read, and 80% of them have something to do with an auction or a clock.

And now, your grand-prize winners:

If you watched that video of Bas Rutten beating up an entire cooking show, you may have thought to yourself, "My, I wish I had that handsome white t-shirt with the devil’s face and strange words at the top." (Come on, at least one of you must have thought that.) The shirt in question is known as the "Five Principles", one of the standout designs from Tokyo Five, an apparel company that specializes in jeans as well as custom tees for MMA fighters like Matt Serra and Gabriel Gonzaga. T5 was cool enough to hook us up with a few of those Five Principles shirts, which we’re going to give away to you, our beloved readers. Well, maybe not give away; you’ll have to work for them. Specifically, you’ll have to come up with hilarious captions to the photo after the jump…

(Above image courtesy of twitter.com/mmaweeklycom. Below images courtesy of TapouT.)

No MMA fighter embodies the underdog spirit of Little Mac better than Jens "Lil’ Evil" Pulver — which is why his new Punch-Out!!-themed signature shirt from TapouT is so badass. Pulver throws down this Saturday night at WEC 47 in Columbus against Javier Vazquez, who will hopefully be wearing a turban that flashes when he’s vulnerable. You can buy Jens’s walkout t-shirt here for the sensible price of $28.

Previously: Clay Guida’s UFC 107 Walkout T-Shirt Is F*ckin’ Rad

($19.99?! Well, now it’s just not financially practical for me to tear it off my body every time I wear it, so what’s the point? Props: Cagewriter)

One of the many great things about the era of the internet is the ability of one moment or idea to take off and become a force all its own, no matter how fleeting or trivial it might have been. I’m not just talking about ghost riding the whip here, either. Take Tom Lawlor’s most recent UFC entrance where he channeled Hulk Hogan at Fight Night 20 in an effort to let the audience know that he was a) a real American, who b) fights for the rights of every man. Pretty sweet, right? In homage to that entrance, Tri-Coasta is offering up this t-shirt so all you Lawlormaniacs can show your support.

But after checking out the shirt and thinking through the possible ramifications of buying/wearing it, we are once again forced to ask ourselves, is this awesome or not awesome? Join us after the jump.