(Look, Roy, we’re all big Harry Potter fans, but this Rubeus Hagrid obsession of yours is going a little far.) 

Like that of current light heavyweight champ Jon Jones, former UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar seems to be the subject of much debate amongst the MMA community. Not only was his heart called into question following his UFC 141 loss to Alistair Overeem, but in light of recent events, even the legitimacy of his title reign has seemingly been written off by some fans of the sport and wiped from the collective memories of others. Meanwhile, the hardcore conspiracy theorists claim that Lesnar’s run was nothing more than a genius ploy by Vince McMahon to boost Lesnar’s popularity before looping him back into the WWE. He’s a polarizing figure to say the least.

And when questions began to arise about the possibility of Lesnar becoming a future inductee into the UFC Hall of Fame, some of us nearly blew a fucking gasket. Among those detractors was that of Roy “Big Country” Nelson, who is scheduled to face Dave Herman on tomorrow night’s main card. A professional fighter for over seven years, Nelson was none too happy to hear all of this blasphemy, and when interviewed by Ariel Helwani, let his feelings be known about Lesnar’s chances:

You know what? If Brock belongs in the hall of fame, so do I. It’s not that hard to win the title when it’s set up that way for you. Pretty much [a silver platter]. After Dave Herman, I guess I get a title shot. Interim! Because someone’s gonna get hurt.

It’s pretty hard to deny the truth in Nelson’s words. Yes, Lesnar did win a title (and defend it), and all Nelson has done lately is get his face smashed in spectacular/gruesome fashion, but the fact that Lesnar got a shot after going 1-1 is pretty…you know what, we’ve already discussed this. I’m not going to retread any old ground.

Anyway, join us after the jump for Nelson’s full interview with Helwani, in which he also discusses his diet (of course), returning to his Kung-Fu roots, as well as his (and every fighters) gripes with his pay rate.

MMAFighting’s Ariel Helwani recently took some time away from interviewing mentally handicapped freakshows to get back to his roots as MMA’s top correspondent, questioning UFC 146′s headliners, Frank Mir and Junior dos Santos, on everything from Nick Diaz’s recent suspension to whether or not Daniel Cormier should be the man to face the winner of their Saturday night title fight.

When asked his opinion on the NSAC’s aforementioned ruling in the case of Mr. Diaz, Mir seemed to side with the “what kind of bullshit is this?” crowd, stating that “…obviously just having metabolites in his system means that he was not under the influence of marijuana in contest the night they tested him, but I guess that’s why they wear suits and I wear no shirt when I go to work.” I hear you there, bro. Mir also discussed his plans for dos Santos, mainly, that he will pull guard on the champ if need be, because shooting on “Cigano” will likely not be a viable option.

Join us after the jump for Helwani’s interview with dos Santos, who makes some pretty ballsy claims to say the least. 

(Super-props: IronForgesIron/420FreindlyMMAFan)

Thanks to everybody who supported our friend and contributor Elias Cepeda in his official MMA debut last night! The Filet-O-Fish Assassin™ stepped into the cage against Glenn Evans at last night’s United Combat League show in Merrionette Park, Illinois, and walked away with an impressive stoppage victory, which you can watch above.

Quick summary: Elias foregoes the glove tap like a gangster, lands first with a leg kick, then sprawls out on a takedown and puts Evans on his back. The fight is effectively over at this point; Cepeda eventually creates some distance and starts dropping bombs, then brilliantly scrambles to Evans’s back and finishes him with strikes from back mount. UFC veteran referee Rob Madrigal calls it at 2:02 of round 1.

Three cheers for Elias. Can anybody stop this man?

(Sean Salmon getting finished in the first round? You don’t say…)

Jorge Santiago has had perhaps the most disappointing UFC career of any top-tier import out there. While that statement may sound rather contradictory, Santiago’s accolades in any promotion not named the UFC (or King of the Cage) are pretty incredible. Not only is he a two-time defending Sengoku middleweight champion, but one of those defenses, which came at World Victory Road Presents: Sengoku 14 back in August of 2010, was a “Fight of the Year” earning performance over Kazuo Misaki. The man can fight is all we’re saying.

If you were to look at his record inside DW’s playground, however, you would see that all but one of his four losses (out of five performances) have ended by way of violent knockout. The Chris Leben left hook. The Alan Belcher head kick. And who could forget the Brian Stann beatdown. Thankfully, Santiago was able to bounce back from his most recent UFC run with a nasty first round knockout of 14-7 Leonardo Pecanha at Titan Fighting Championship 21 last March.

Check out the video after the jump. 

(All he needed was a little convincing.) 

It takes one to know one, we guess, because according to UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture, former UFC Heavyweight Champion and current WWE superstar Brock Lesnar should be inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame. Yes, on last night’s episode of UFC Tonight, Couture sat down alongside Kenny Florian and Todd Harris to answer questions from all around the Twittersphere, because apparently that’s something which happens now. Among the questions asked were, “Do you have any up and comers in [Team Couture] that have a chance to make an impact in the next two years?” Couture was quick to point out Martin Kampmann, but also commended welterweight contender Mike Pyle, who he stated was “one of the most talented guys I’ve had the privilege of training with the last seven years.”

But Couture’s most interesting comment came after he was asked whether or not Lesnar deserved a spot in the UFC Hall of Fame. Considering Lesnar’s brief run in the sport, which totaled just over four years in its entirety, combined with his mediocre 5-3 record, one would not expect that Couture would be quick to jump on the “yes” bandwagon. Then again, Lesnar was able to capture the Heavyweight title by pummeling Couture into masturbatory hammerfist oblivion at UFC 91, so perhaps it made sense for Couture to declare that Lesnar did in fact deserve a spot alongside such names as Chuck Liddell, Royce Gracie, and Matt Hughes. Oh, and let’s not forget Tito Ortiz and B.J. Penn.

Anyway, check out the video after the jump, and let us know what you think of Couture’s assessment in the comments section. Not that we need to remind you, but be sure to be as scathing with your criticisms as humanly possible.

(Seen here: Bob Sapp’s most legit fight in the past five years.) 

If you’ve followed this thing we call MMA for even a couple years now, then you’ve undoubtedly heard of the travesty to the sport that is Bob Sapp. If he were a band, the boys over at MetalSucks would refer to him as “A Shitstain on the Ass of the Universe,” which is perhaps the most appropriate label to place on someone who seems to be doing his damnedest to soil the metaphorical trousers of the sport we hold dear.

Possibly sent on a mission of mercy by the fellas over at Mitch and Murray, Ariel Helwani decided to bring Sapp onto his show, “The MMA Hour,” to dispel or confirm the general consensus that he has thrown most, if not all of his fights over the past four or five years. What started off as at least a coherent defense on Sapp’s part quickly spiraled into a smorgasbord of nonsensical rants and accusations punctuated by creepy, baritone laughter, before concluding with several futile attempts by “The Beast” to justify his pathetic existence through Youtube hits, or something like that. In other words, it was typical Bob Sapp.

Just take this gem, for instance, which actually came before Sapp decided to go full retard:

I will receive no damage to my body that will be long lasting for a small insignificant amount of cash. I think we’ve seen that now with examples with the NFL and the fact that some of these guys are coming back and saying, “Hey we want some money, we have brain damage.” I’m getting paid well underneath what a professional boxer would, or Manny Pacquiao. So I will, in no means ever, will I sustain long-lasting damage for a small paycheck. Never will that happen, never will “The Beast” ever have that happen.

Join us after the jump for the whole interview.

(Come on…hasn’t Mark Hunt suffered enough?)

Tomorrow night in San Jose, Josh Barnett will face the greatest challenge of his post-PRIDE career when he meets Daniel Cormier in the finals of Strikeforce’s World Heavyweight Grand Prix. (FYI, we’ll be liveblogging the Showtime main card starting at 10 p.m. ET, so don’t make any big plans.) Barnett’s comfort-level in the cage and catch-wrestling expertise have led him on a four-year winning streak, and one more victory could earn him an improbable return to the UFC. In honor of this pivotal moment for the Warmaster, we decided to round up his five greatest submissions. Enjoy, and shoot us your predictions for Barnett vs. Cormier in the comments section…

(Josh Barnett vs. Semmy Schilt; UFC 32, 6/29/01)

Barnett’s first submission in the Octagon came against gigantic kickboxer Semmy Schilt, who had made his UFC debut the previous month by smashing Pete Williams. Wisely, Barnett avoids the standup game entirely, immediately taking the Dutchman to the mat. Schilt is absolutely helpless underneath the Babyface Assassin, and eventually gives up mount. Barnett waits for the right moment then attacks Schilt’s arm, giving up position in the process. It doesn’t matter — Barnett sinks the armbar at the 4:21 mark of the first round and establishes himself as a fearsome heavyweight grappler.

(Little did Zach Galifianakis know that this would be the most awkward episode of “Between Two Ferns” to date.) 

As has become public knowledge by this point, there are two sides to Chael Sonnen. Two sides that, while vastly different from one another, combine to form a charismatic, well-spoken, yet incredibly polarizing mixed martial artist. The fact that Sonnen manages to effortlessly shift between these two paradigms when hyping a fight, giving a post-fight interview, or relentlessly tearing apart a Canadian reporter is only a testament to his ability to enthrall while repelling, to pique one’s interest while simultaneously drawing their ire. This may sound like a bit of “nut-hugging” as the MMA blogosphere likes to so eloquently put it, but there’s no denying that Sonnen is truly a unique individual, and one who could sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves without batting an eye.

But the Chael Sonnen that sat down with Joe Rogan as part of his infamous (as far as podcasts go) “The Joe Rogan Experience” was not the fight-hyping, pro rasslin’ “Oregon Gangster” that many fans can’t bear the sight of. Instead, for over two and a half hours, Rogan managed a feat that perhaps no other interviewer, journalist, or low-level blogger has even come close to: He managed to bring out the sincerity in Chael Sonnen.

And it was nothing short of fascinating.

Not fascinating in a “what’s he going to say next?” kind of way, but rather in a “man behind the myth” kind of way, and to put it simply, it stands above any other Chael Sonnen interview I personally have ever seen. The two dished on everything from Sonnen’s turning point as an MMA fighter (which came as a result of hypnotherapy, believe it or not), to Dan Severn’s infamously terrible work against Shannon Ritch, to Chris Leben’s batshit crazy childhood. But none of it felt forced, or fabricated. The Chael Sonnen that sat down with Rogan was endearing, empathetic, and above all else, realistic, and a kudos is due to Rogan for managing to bring that out of him.

Check out the full podcast after the jump. 

(Props: YouTube.com/MMAInsideTheCageTV)

As always, if you’ve got 22 minutes to spare, we highly recommend watching the latest episode of MMA: Inside the Cage in its entirety. But for those of you who are in a rush, we’ll direct your attention to the following…

- Not since Francisco Bueno or Ricardo Morais have we seen a fighter take so many shots to the head during a falling-tree knockout as the husky white dude featured in this week’s installment of the “Hit Parade.” (Just hit the play button and enjoy.) The first time I watched it, I thought the guy was taunting his opponent at the 6:38-6:40 mark, like, “here’s my chin, go for it homie,” but now that I re-watch it, it’s obvious that the poor sap simply forgot where he was. After a few more punches, it’s timber-time.

- Also of note, Casey Oxendine shares footage from his training with Marco Ruas circa 1999. Ruas trained his students by beating the shit out of them with bare fists and kneeing them in the head on the mat. Skip to the 9:46 mark to see how real men used to roll in those glorious NHB days. Builds character, I’m sure.

A young champion that has dominated every opponent in the Octagon with his boxing vs. a veteran ex-champ whose ground-wizardry has carried him to his second career comeback. Sure, it would have been nice to see JDS vs. Overeem, but we’re staying positive here, and you couldn’t write a better storyline for this May 26th heavyweight title fight. Also featured in the new hype video for UFC 146 is the return of heavyweight phenom Cain Velasquez, who promises a victory against promotional newcomer Antonio Silva — a gigantic opportunity for both men. Can Bigfoot make a splash in the UFC, or is he just a speed-bump on the way to Cain’s next title shot?

(We’re sorry, Tom, but it’s just not the same. Photo courtesy of MMAMania.)

Just a couple of hours ago, the UFC held a press conference in Shaw Court, Alberta, Canada, to promote UFC 149: Jose Aldo vs. Some Guy (it’s a joke, take it easy), which is expected to transpire on July 21st from Scotiabank Saddledome in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Surprisingly absent from the conference was that of UFC President Dana White, who was in turn replaced by Director of Operations for UFC Canada, Tom Wright. Also absent was a hearty supply of French fries and gravy for the fighters involved, which was a real shame in our opinion.

In the co-main event of the evening, the most hated wanted man in the middleweight division, Michael Bisping, will square off against hard nosed slugger Tim Boetsch. Also expected for UFC 149 will be Antonio Rodrigo’s Nogueria’s return to the octagon for the first time since Frank Mir went all Paul Harris on his arm, the difference between their UFC 140 scrap and the average Paul Harris fight being that Nog waited until after Mir broke his arm to tap, not the other way around. Anyway, Big Nog will be squaring off against the inconsistent but always dangerous Cheick Kongo, who is coming off a knockout loss at the hands of Mark Hunt at UFC 144.

Check out the full video and lineup after the jump. 

In the latest installment of MMA: Inside the Cage, Casey and Cyrus discuss Hector Lombard’s UFC signing, the new beef between MFC and Bellator, and the ongoing Nick Diaz vs. NSAC saga, before presenting the week’s best batch of knockouts and an exclusive interview with the ever-charming Bas Rutten. Part 2 of the show is after the jump, which features an analysis of Invicta’s debut show plus the must-see slugfest between Kaitlin Young and Leslie Smith.

Check it out and support our good friends at MMA:ITC, who have managed to put together a consistently entertaining half-hour MMA show that isn’t based on a bunch of jerkoffs yelling at each other. If you dig it, follow ‘em on Facebook and Twitter.

(Props: MMAInsideTheCageTV. The quote in question comes around the 6:20 mark.)

Our buds at MMA Inside the Cage caught up with #1 UFC middleweight contender Chael Sonnen following his pre-UFC 145 Q&A in Atlanta last week, and got his take on a number of hot topics, including the ongoing Alistair Overeem saga and his upcoming fight with Anderson Silva. Because Cyrus Fees is a thorough and incisive journalist, he asked the Voice of Reason author to weigh in on the recent CagePotato caption that completely blew up in our faces. As Chael put it:

“These guys, in my belief, meant it as a joke. What was in their heart, only they know. I believe they meant that as a joke. HOWEVER…you’ve gotta understand that the headquarters is in Las Vegas, which is the gambling capital of the world. The owners of the UFC own casinos, this is extremely against the rules to do something like that, and you just can’t even joke about it. So for Dana to get really upset — you really need to understand the history that’s involved, and once you do that, I think the guys should have just laid down and said ‘we screwed up.’ I think their apology was a little bit weak, and Dana’s only human. You give him a good solid response, no matter how wrong you are, you give him a good solid, ‘man I screwed this one up’, that’s the end of it. But if you start shufflin’ around, and you start getting squirmy, you’re gonna have problems with him.”

Is it any surprise that Sonnen’s answer was fair and balanced?

After the jump: The latest episode of MMA Inside the Cage (“#91: Atlanta Aftermath”), which includes recaps and exclusive interviews from last weekend’s UFC and Bellator shows, a batch of ugly knockouts, and a wild scrap from EFC Africa.

(Props: YouTube.com/allelbows)

Invicta Fighting Championships‘ all-female debut event is going down Saturday night in Kansas City, KS, and our own Doug “Rex13″ Richardson will be in attendance, trying his hardest to get kneed in the balls. Check out this video package from Esther Lin/allelbows and get to know the talent that will be competing. It’s awesome to see Kaitlin Young back in action, and every Marloes Coenen fight is required viewing for fans of women’s MMA. The show will also feature Jessica Pene, Liz Carmouche, Lisa Ellis-Ward, and Nicdali Rivera-Calanoc, best known as one-half of the greatest MMA face-off of all time. A live stream of the event will be aired on InvictaFC.com starting tomorrow evening at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Be there.

(“Lights Out” is looking to bring a whole new meaning to the phrase “debate circuit.”) 

Here at CP, we usually shy away from sharing our political opinions with one another, let alone you, our esteemed audience. Politics is a nasty business, nastier than any combat sport could ever claim to be, and discussing it often ends in much less hilarious fashion than our MMA-themed debates.

But when retired UFC legend Chris Lytle announced that he would be vying for a seat in the Indiana State Senate, we decided to put our various affiliations aside and rally behind one of the greatest figures the sport has ever seen. Because when we can come to an agreement with Dana White on anything, it must be for the greater good, right? Obviously Tapout co-founder and incredibly talented director Bobby Razak agrees that Lytle is the man to begin America’s return to greatness, starting with Indiana’s 28th District, and put together the following campaign ad for “Lights Out.” Unfortunately absent from the video are any highlights from Lytle’s highlight-abundant career, but that’s probably for the better.

In either case, check out the campaign video after the jump, then somehow turn this into a heated debate on Obama vs. Romney, because we know you will.

(From the moment Josh Barnett and Daniel Cormier awoke cuffed to drain pipes on opposite ends of a dirty bathroom, they knew that a showdown was inevitable.) 

Oh, Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix, how you’ve managed to elude us. Like that of Tim Sylvia’s UFC campaign, there were times, more often than not, that we laughed at the idea of you ever being taken seriously. Let’s just say that if your story were to be committed to paper, it would undoubtedly surpass that of Homer’s Illiad & Odyssey combined, and although it turns out we were correct to chuckle at “The Maine-iac’s” unfortunate plight, it seems that you are finally going to follow through on what you promised us so long ago. Yes, after teasing us with an original finale date of March 3rd (an event that was quickly changed to support the Tate vs. Rousey fight), you managed to make us wait yet another two and a half months before setting a final date of May 19th. Nearly one year after you began.

But we’re not here to complain, we’re here to celebrate your conclusion. Luckily, Hanuman Productions shares our somewhat-subdued-but-still-present excitement, and have created a sweet trailer to try and get us fully amped for Josh Barnett‘s clash with Daniel Cormier once again.

Check out the trailer after the jump. 

(Apparently Lesnar was the only one who wasn’t a fan of Anderson Silva’s nude pictorial.) 

Adhering to its usual formula and taking a look back at the locker room footage from the previous event, the newest edition of UFC President Dana White’s infamous vlog features an up close and personal look at the poor bastards who came up short at UFC on FUEL: Gustafsson vs. Silva. And Brian Stann. He’s simply too nice to not be around at all times.

After DW’s regular introduction, we are treated to the woeful words of Damacio Page, Damarques Johnson, and Thiago Silva, who all insist that they are “fine.” We know what that really means. But worse than “The Angel of Death,” worse even than “Darkness,” is the silent sorrow of Paulo Thiago, who stares on in disbelief when re-watching the final moments of his first round KO loss to Siyar Bahadurzada. Thiago has now lost three of his last four UFC contests, despite having the most badass day job of any UFC fighter ever. Chin up, Paulo, we know you’ll be back with a vengeance.

Check out the video after the jump. 

(Pass the punchie pon the left hand side…)

Just two days out from his showdown with former UFC light heavyweight champion and bitter frenemy Rashad Evans, it appears that current champ Jon Jones has elevated his training level from Keanu Reeves to “Threat Level Midnight.” Believe it or not, his enthusiasm has had an adverse effect on the mental and physical well-being of his training partners.

Take the following video, for instance, in which Jones is matched up against who we can only assume is Nick Diaz’s pot dealer. Seriously, if we weren’t such knowledgeable MMA fans, this video would look more like the singer of Shadows Fall stumbled off his tour bus into what he believed was a cafeteria, feeling irie and looking for the nearest bag of Doritos Cool Ranch, only to be knocked the fuck out by a large African American man with hands as quick as lightning and twice as powerful. The poor bastard.

Check out the video after the jump. 

(Did you just call my mum a bumbag, you budgie-smuggler wearing dole bludger?) 

Meet “Diamond” Dan Pauling, a nineteen year old undefeated prospect fighting out of the Australian-based Shindo New Breed camp. All of his eight victories have come inside the distance, with all but one of them coming by way of submission. Just four days ago, he stepped into the cage at FightWorld Cup 11 to square off against 4-3 slugger James Vainikolo in the evening’s main event. What transpired will ultimately go down as one of the most gutsy comebacks in the history of MMA.

To be clear, this wasn’t a Cheick Kongo/Pat Barry return-from-the-grave type comeback that will make you recoil in shock and awe. No, until the very end, this fight more closely resembled something out of a Rocky movie, in which our hero absorbed well over one thousand punches and offered little to nothing in return. Now take that and combine it with an attrition level that would make you beg for Ben Rothwell vs. Mark Hunt II, and you’ve pretty much got the picture here.

That being said, Pauling deserves some sort of award for his performance based on pure heart and determination alone.

Check out the crazy video after the jump.

On May 5th, 2006, Canadian welterweight Chris Clements (1-1 at the time) met a first-time fighter named Lautaro Tucas at TKO 25 in Montreal. Putting his lack of experience on full display, Tucas opened the fight by skipping madly across the ring at Clements, his arms draped at his sides. Clements loaded up a right straight and immediately knocked Tucas out cold.

The stoppage was recorded at 0:03 of round 1 — the first three-second knockout in MMA history, establishing a record that has yet to be broken in professional competition. (In case you’re wondering, Kid Yamamoto’s famous flying knee was officially marked as four seconds, and the Harris/Fuller fake-tap backfire KO was recorded as five seconds, even though they both seemed to end just as immediately as Clements vs. Tucas.)

Tucas never fought again, but Clements — now 10-4 with all of his wins by KO/TKO — continued to compete in Canada, and is finally making his Octagon debut this Saturday at UFC 145 in Atlanta. Currently riding a four-fight win streak that includes stoppages of UFC vets Rich Clementi and Jonathan Goulet, Clements will be part of UFC 145′s Facebook prelims broadcast, facing off against Keith Wisniewski (28-13-1, 0-2 UFC), the Indiana-based journeyman who’s perhaps most famous for getting his arm snapped by Shinya Aoki.

After the jump: Two more examples of Clements’s freaky power.

(Skip to the 3:25 mark for the fight. But for the love of God, turn down your speakers first.)

If every fight was contested in Brazil, we wouldn’t have to worry about an officiating blunder ever again…

(Overeem likes his pecs like his K-1 trophies: abnormally large.) 

On a recent episode of Inside MMA, commentators Joe Rogan and Michael Schiavello sat down alongside Josh Barnett to discuss the topic that has thrown the MMA world into chaos over the past few days: Alistair Overeem’s positive drug test. Barnett wisely chose to remain silent for the duration of the conversation, likely because his last positive test was responsible for destroying the Afflicition promotion before it could spend itself into its own grave.

But it was Schiavello, a long time friend of Overeem, who took an interesting stance on the issue, basically saying that, if a fighter pisses hot anytime other than fight week, why should they be held accountable? Here’s what he said:

You know, while we’re talking about the subject, Kenny, I just wanna chime in here on a couple things that have been playing on my mind, the last week or so, since the news of Alistair (Overeem) broke. Alistair doesn’t have a license with the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC), so how are they testing him in the first place when he doesn’t have a license with them? By what jurisdiction are they testing him? And ‘B,’ everyone seems to be hanging Alistair out to dry. They’ve been nailing him to the cross and crucifying him, but it’s still two months away from his fight. You know, he hasn’t technically cheated. Because, unless he pisses hot on the fight night, how could he possibly have cheated? There’s still an opportunity he can get from the 14:1 down to the allowed 6:1 level by fight time. But we’re calling him out as a cheat, two months out from a fight?

Yes, Michael, we are calling him a cheat. Probably because he fucking cheated.

Check out the video, along with Mark Hunt’s reaction to the news, after the jump.

(Props: YouTube.com/TrashTalkinKids)

At this point, I’m willing to admit that our t-shirt design contest with Punch Buddies and Urijah Faber has gone completely off the rails. In case you were wondering why the quarterfinal round didn’t happen last week, it’s because Faber and Stephan Bonnar were working on a unique method of separating the winners from the losers, and it involved firing assault rifles in the desert with UFC Octagon Girl hall-of-famer Rachelle Leah. See, isn’t this better than just having you dummies pick the winner?

P.S.: We also have a really cool surprise for everybody whose design was featured in the contest. Stay tuned for details, and please follow Punch Buddies on Facebook and Twitter!

(Minowaman vs. Shlemenko. Sorry Seth, this is what you get for taking the weekend off.) 

At the minimum, last night’s Super Fight League 2 card was a small, albeit significant, improvement over the upstart promotion’s first card. The fact that Bob Sapp was not participating already ensured this. Yes, it was still riddled with the goofy, often laughably bad commentary of Phil Baroni and some other guy who I don’t really care to look up at the moment, but overall, it was able to deliver more action and dramatic finishes than this weekend’s Bellator card could account for, and considering it was free, who are we to complain? If only they could get rid of those awkward crowd shots.

But before we get to the most exciting finish, perhaps we could focus on the oddest one– Alexander Shlemenko’s first round TKO of Ikuhisa Minowa. Minowa continued his rough streak against recognizable-named opponents this morning, and it looks like he could be on the shelve for a little longer than usual this time around. For the first couple of minutes, the fight was vintage Shlemenko, featuring more spinning death attacks than a tornado in an axe factory. Minowa simply had no answer for “The Storm” on the feet, and was stalked around the cage until around the two minute mark, when Shlemenko was able to land a well timed knee to Minowa’s skull that sent him reeling backward.

Minowa seemed to be alright, reaching for a leg log in the moments afterward, but when Shlemenko was able to pull out from danger, Minowa suddenly curled up in the fetal position with an apparent rib injury. No word yet on exactly how bad he is hurt, but we’re going to guess that the injury was more, you know, real, than the quad injury that felled Sapp in his main event clash against James Thompson at SFL 1. The announcer not named Phil Baroni was kind enough to inform us that Shlemenko has now fought 13 times in the past two years. That is fucking insane. And speaking of insane, Shlemenko’s thirst for his well deserved rematch against Bellator middleweight champion Hector Lombard might just be driving him a bit loony. After defeating Minowa, Shlemenko gave what was perhaps the greatest post fighting interview of all time, calmly stating, ”Hey India. Hector, I kill you.” If only Lombard could come to an agreement with the Bellator brass, perhaps we could watch these two throw down again.

The Duffee/Grove video, along with the full results are after the jump. 

(Taking a page out of Aleksander Emelianenko’s book, Cremeans opted for the pre-fight nose pick to ensure a quick and brutal finish.) 

Meet Kyle “Big Nasty” Cremeans, a 2-1 heavyweight out of Ohio who looks about as intimidating as your average sack of laundry, with a physique that is equally as impressive. He fights out of “Team Destruction,” which should tell you right away that he is not to be taken lightly (as if it were even possible, amirite?!). At first glance, you would expect Cremeans to be the kind of fighter that employs a Greg Stott, R.I.P style of fighting, or maybe the Larry Watts “just throw heat until I am completely unconscious” stratagem. Surely this fat sack of lard would not be able to lift his hands above his waist, let alone deliver a devastating, first punch, walk-off knockout over his slightly less obese opponent, right?

Mike Russow laughs at your ignorant assumptions.

Check out the brilliant one-punch KO, courtesy of IronForgesIron, after the jump.

(Pufferface: Because duckface is so 2010.) 

Much was made about Jon Jones’ recent Muhammed Ali-inspired cover for the May issue of UFC Magazine. Some thought it was way too early in Jones’ career to make such comparisons, some thought it was awesome, and other conspiracy theorist types launched into possibly one of the most pointless arguments I have ever had the displeasure of reading; the “puffiness” of Jones’ cheeks and whether or not the photo was faked. Really, guys?

Regardless of what side of the fence you stand on, check out this behind-the-scenes look at the cover shoot so we can all put this argument to rest.

(A rose for every bridge you have burned, Mr. White.) 

It looks like soccer players and fans alike have joined the growing legion of people that loathe, or at least don’t take kindly to Dana White’s opinion. For those keeping track, the list includes women, homosexuals, Fedor Emelianenko fans, hardcore PRIDE and WEC fans, SpikeTV, the Internet, and the state of Oklahoma, among others. It’s like they say: to make an omelet, you have to break enough eggs to make that same omelet five times over.

Before we get to the challenge issued by former MLS Defender of the Year Jimmy Conrad, let’s do a little backtracking. It all started when White, in his infinite wisdom, stated at the Calgary press conference that the sport of soccer was basically a talentless bunch of nonsense that anyone with basic motor skills could perform. If that wasn’t bad enough, he then declared that he had beaten David Beckham in a game of horse soccer and that Pele was a fraud before farting into the microphone and storming off. Surely this wouldn’t piss off any fans of the biggest sport on the mother effing planet, right?

WRONG.

After hearing these comments, Conrad emerged with the fire of a thousand suns in his eyes and challenged DW to put his foot somewhere else than his mouth for once. The following ultimatum was made while Conrad masked a rage that would turn a lump of coal into a blood diamond between his buttcheeks:

Why would a tough guy like you feel so threatened by soccer that you needed to go off on it unprovoked? Is it maybe because you know the one thing any three-year-old can do is fight? Hell, mine spent a whole year fighting me. But that shouldn’t threaten you. I’m pretty you could hype a fight between two three-year-olds and make it the biggest thing since the “Thrilla in Manilla.” But you wouldn’t do that, would you? Because you know that three-year-olds don’t understand the techniques, or tactics, or subtleties of your sport. Well, same goes for ours…. Here’s what I’m going to do. Because I like you, I’m going to give you the opportunity to join me and a few friends for a game of soccer. Since you believe playing soccer requires no talent, I’m sure you’ll be the star. Unless you’re scared.

Check out a video of the challenge after the jump.

(Try as they might, Coleman’s corner simply was not equipped to stop the swelling around his eye between rounds)

None of us who watched it could ever forget when former UFC and Pride champion Mark Coleman embraced his sobbing daughters in the ring after losing to Fedor Emelianenko in 2006 and reassured them that “daddy was alright.” Turns out, neither have his daughters. But, according to one of them, it wasn’t nearly the terrifying experience that we all assumed it to be.

“It was so fun out there…I don’t regret it at all,” Coleman’s daughter said during an interview for an HDNet Fights segment on her dad, which you can check out after the jump.

Coleman was also interviewed, and teared up when talking about the moment and the criticism that he received for it. The idea that he had in some way traumatized his daughters by bringing them to the fight — then introducing them to the man who beat him up — is still hard for Coleman to swallow. “Being a dad was the most important thing to me in the world,” he said.

(McCorkle vs. Heden round 1; round 2 is after the jump. Props: PVTHansen16)

Notably stacked for a regional card, Worldwide Mixed Martial Arts‘ debut event went down Saturday night in El Paso, Texas, and was highlighted by an upset in the main event and a handful of UFC vets smashing their way into the win column.

At this point, when Sean McCorkle gets booked against a smaller, doughier opponent with a journeyman’s record, we just assume that “Big Sexy” will bully his way to a first-round stoppage without much difficulty. But WMMA 1′s super-heavyweight main event didn’t go down like that. Though McCorkle (who tipped the scales at 312 pounds) came very close to finishing the 287-pound Brian Heden near the end of the first round, he blew his cardio wad in the process. With McCorkle barely able to lift his arms in round two, Heden was able to reverse a takedown, trap McCorkle’s left arm, and slug his way to a TKO victory. According to Danga, the announcer referred to the win as “the upset of the century.” (Somewhere, Gus Johnson is masturbating.) In a follow-up post on the UG, McCorkle lamented the cardio problems that have plagued his entire athletic career, credited Heden for showing up in “decent shape”* and vowed to retire if his cardio ever contributed to another loss.

In the co-main event, Karo Parisyan snapped a three-fight losing streak when he scored a unanimous decision over veteran Thomas Denny. Even more impressive, Drew Fickett snapped a four-fight losing streak when he choked out WEC/Bellator vet Kevin Knabjian, despite reports that Fickett was pretty well sauced throughout fight week. (Obviously, it could have been worse.)

(It was like this, but even more terrifying.) 

It’s been a while since we’ve heard from former Strikeforce Women’s featherweight champion Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos. In the fallout of her sixteen second destruction of Hiroko Yamanaka and subsequent positive steroid test that saw her stripped of her title, “Cyborg” has been laying low, quietly awaiting her April 9th appeal and the chance to smash Ronda Rousey for her insolence.

In the meantime, it looks like the former champ has decided to broaden her training horizons, if you will, now incorporating a regular diet of Japanese game show hosts and comedians to satiate her overwhelming desire to kill. In fact, she recently appeared on the Japanese show Honoo no Taiikukai to demonstrate that she is just as strong without anabolic steroids coursing through her veins by taking on a…male Japanese comedian? Believe it or not, the match was surprisingly competitive for the most part, until Cyborg decided to go all Courtney Korpela on the poor bastard.

Join us after the jump for the full video, along with the Sergei Kharitonov/Mark Miller match from last weekend’s United Glory 15 card, and much more.