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Tag: MMA videos

Chad Griggs and His Awesome Mutton Chops Return at UFC 154 Against Cyrille Diabate


(Mutton chops: Giving white people the confidence to shake their rump since the 1800′s.) 

It could just be our queasy stomachs, but we’ve begun to feel more and more trepidation when it comes to announcing a scheduled UFC contest these days, because the likelihood of said contest actually coming to fruition seems borderline impossible.

That being said, it will please all of the lumberjacks who happen to read CagePotato to learn that the man with the coolest facial hair in the biz this side of Casey “fagtastic flameathon of facial distortion” Oxendine, Chad Griggs, will be returning to UFC action on November 17th at UFC 154 in Montreal, Canada to face PRIDE veteran Cyrille Diabate. Griggs, who gained notoriety over the past couple years with his decimations of Bobby Lashley, Valentijn Overeem, and Gian Villante, is coming off a first round submission via arm-triangle loss to Travis “Don’t ask, don’t tell” Browne in his UFC debut at UFC 145. Shortly after the loss, Griggs announced that he would in fact be dropping to 205 lbs to face Phil Davis at UFC on FOX 4, but go figure, suffered an injury and was forced to pull out.

Diabate, on the other hand, is coming off a majority decision victory over late replacement Tom DeBlass at UFC on FUEL 2. “The Snake” has gone win-loss in his five fight UFC career and was originally set to face Fabio Maldonado at UFC 153, but again, an injury blah blah blah things are different now.

Diabate has shown a susceptibility to submissions in the past (as well as an inability to last three rounds), so a matchup with a stand-and-bang aficionado like Griggs should be tailor-made for an exciting, if not winnable opportunity for everyone involved.

Who you got for this one, Potato Nation?

After the jump: A video of Griggs’ slugfest with Villante, because it’s arguably the greatest two and a half minute fight you will ever see.

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[VIDEO] Stephan Bonnar Details His Gameplan to Beat Anderson Silva and It Is a Doozy


(Step 1: Fake heart attack to lower Anderson’s guard. Step 2: ?????? Step 3: SCORE GREATEST UPSET OF ALL TIME.) 

Admit it: When the new headliner for UFC 153 was first announced, not one of you thought Stephan Bonnar stood a chance of beating Anderson Silva, and you probably still don’t. If you happen to be a bookie, you probably equate the likelihood of Bonnar defeating Silva to that of Bob Sapp defeating adult onset vaginitis.

Well, my friends, prepare to have your minds blown, because Bonnar’s camp just released a video that lays out in intricate detail his plans to dethrone (figuratively speaking) the untouchable legacy of “The Spider” once and for all. We’re not saying it is foolproof, but we are saying that it has no discernible flaws whatsoever and Silva is a dead man.

Video after the jump. 

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Because it’s Thursday, Here’s a Supercut of Dana White Dropping F-Bombs [VIDEO]


(It was on this night that Dana realized: No matter how many f-bombs you can get away with in public, one n-bomb will still get you shot.)

As difficult as it is to be a poster-designer for the UFC these days, it seems that it is even more trying to be a fan of the promotion in general, especially one who actually purchases tickets and pay-per-views (chumps). Main events, co-main events, and entire cards are being switcherooed, discombobulated, kerfluffled, skip-skopped, skallywagged, and outright cancelled seemingly willy-nilly, and the constant change of pace is clearly taking its toll on UFC fans around the world.

Realizing the mounting frustration that has taken over our already acrimonious audience, we’ve tried to coax you away from this harsh, unforgiving world of news and enchant you with fancy knockouts, hot chicks, and pot-shots at Jose Canseco to make it all better. Basically, we’ve rubbed some ‘tussin on your open, festering wounds, but as Sam Peebles will tell you, no amount of Bull’s Eye Red Licorice will make up for the fact that you were raped in the library bushes as a child.

I forgot where I was going with that analogy, but here’s a supercut of Dana White’s best f-bombs to help get you through this topsy-turvy day in MMA.

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[VIDEOS] Here Are Some Sweet Knockouts To Make You Forget All About The Injury Plague of 2012


(One of these days, Alex, right to the moon!) 

As I’ve discussed before, being a writer for a “comedic” “MMA” website such as CagePotato has its positives and its negatives. The positives, of course, are the legions of swooning, scantily clad women that are literally willing to do anything to meet Jon Jones, Chuck Liddell, or whomever we are claiming to be incredibly close friends with at the time. There are also the lavish cars, houses, and general respect from your peers that have become a staple of the blogger trade to be grateful for.

But perhaps even greater than the constant influx of trim and general swagger that comes hand-in-hand with the MMA blogger lifestyle are the epic knockout videos we get to post whenever we feel like it under the false guise of “journalism.” And with the great injury curse of 2012 once again putting us all in the dumps, today seems perfect for one such occasion, so join us after the jump for a trifecta of KO’s (and even a flying triangle) to help you cope with the fact that yet another UFC event has been temporarily upended.

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[VIDEO] This UFC 152 Promo Dutifully Tries To Convince Us That Jones/Belfort Makes Sense


(The hardest thing to believe about this poster is that the photos of Johnson and Benavidez have not been scaled down whatsoever. True story though.) 

Ever since it was announced that Vitor Belfort would be stepping up to face Jon Jones at UFC 152, the MMA world responded with a mixture of confused apprehension and the outright fear of knowing that Belfort might very well get beaten into a living death before our very eyes. The bookies seemed to agree, listing Bones as high as -1500 over the former heavyweight and light heavyweight champ, which likely had something to do with the fact that Belfort had defected to The Blackzilians in preparation for the bout.

But putting aside the fact that Jon Jones is bigger, younger, and actually manages to show up for the majority of his fights uninjured, the UFC has steamrolled ahead with their promos for UFC 152, trying to convince us that this fight will be closely contested in any way, shape, or form (I really hope I eat crow for this statement), because what other options do they have at this point? Check out the first official promo for UFC 152 after the jump, and let us know if you have taken the bait.

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[VIDEO] Deadmau5 Snags a UFC Sponsorship, Then Pisses All Over It In Latest Music Video


(We should be surprised that not ONE of those dudes is checking out Arianny’s ass, right?) 

I’m going to come right out and say it: I don’t get Dubstep. It’s loud and annoying for the sake of being loud and annoying, and 95% of the songs I have heard seem to aimlessly drift between bass drops and cartoonish, cookie-cutter sound effects blatantly lifted from “artist” to “artist” before coming to a crashing, albeit relieving end. In my opinion, Dubstep is little more than the musical personification of the ever-increasing laziness and style-over-substance attitude of current American society. It is the genre Michael Bay would have created if he wasn’t too busy giving the world cinematic diabetes. So on a musical level, I find pretty much everything that the character known as deadmau5 has created to be utterly incompetent horseshit.

And it appears that his music video for the track “Professional Griefers,” which somehow managed to snag the endorsement of the UFC, falls right in line with that belief.

Not only does the video portray MMA fans as drunken, inbred rednecks, but this Dead Mouse feller even has the balls to replace legendary UFC announcer Bruce Buffer with some roided-up neanderthal behind the mic. But hey, IT’S GOT COMPUTER ANIMATED FIGHTS AND CRASHBOOMRAWR, YOU GUYS!! And Arianny Celeste’s breasts even make an appearance, so it’s all good!

Video after the jump. 

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[VIDEOS] UFC Legends Gracie, Couture, Coleman, and Ortiz Discuss Favorite Fighters, Respect + More


(The gang discusses favorite/greatest MMA fighters. Spoiler alert: You probably don’t agree with them.) 

If you’ve visited CagePotato in the past year or so, you are undoubtedly aware of the entertainment that a roundtable discussion between friends can bring. From memorable fighter run-ins to the P4P baddest motherfuckers ever, we have held many a debate in this fashion, and as is usually the case, the UFC and FuelTV have once again decided to ride in on our coattails. They began with the thoroughly captivating Champions edition, which featured the likes of Forrest Griffin, Jon Jones, Chuck Liddell, and Frank Mir discussing everything from the dark days of the UFC to its meteoric rise, and have continued the series recently with a panel of fighters that can only be described as “legendary.”

Randy Couture, Royce Gracie, Mark Coleman, and Tito Ortiz sit in for this edition, and dish on respect, favorite fighters, regrets, and the time Wanderlei Silva nearly soccer kicked Mike Van Arsdale’s head from his body. Tito Ortiz manages to air out his regrets without once mentioning Affliction or dick pics, and should be commended for his incredible ability to mentally blackout painful memories.

Join us after the jump for a collection of videos featuring the legends talking shop. We know this isn’t exactly breaking news or anything, but it’s real slow out there today, so why not take a trip down memory lane in the meantime?

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Knockout of the Day: Michael Page is Back and He Brought Another Walk-Off KO


(We know, guys, we know…)

It doesn’t really matter how we lead into this knockout video, which features Anderson Silva Jr. a.k.a Michael Page at his highlighty best during a mixed rules bout at last weekend’s UCMMA 29 card. These words are ultimately meaningless; they might as well be gobbledygook. Because this knockout, though outstanding in its own right, barely stands a chance of distracting you from the bombshell that was dropped this afternoon. To sum things up using the words of the people who occupy my Twitter feed: No UFC 151. No Christmas. God is dead. Jon Jones is an scaredy-cat, punk-bitch, fake champ. Greg Jackson is a yoda-looking, wet blanket, douchenozzle. Etc, etc…

Check it out. Or don’t. Apathy has overwhelmed me. Walla, walla, walla peas and carrots.

Video after the jump. 

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Must-See Video: Real Crime Documents Lee Murray & Britain’s Biggest Heist

It might take Real Crime’s documentary on the biggest cash heist in British history some thirty minutes to get to former UFC fighter Lee Murray, but that doesn’t make it any less entertaining. Detailing the intricate, if not mismanaged, raid of the Medway cash depot in Kent, South East England on February 22nd, 2006, Real Crime provides an enthralling look back at the whos, wheres, and hows of the meticulously planned heist unlike any other documentary in recent memory.

Managing to get interviews with everyone from Colin Dixon, the manager of the depot who was held hostage along with his family and coworkers, to Dave O’Donnell, an English fight promoter who simply cannot speak highly enough of Murray despite the evidence at hand, this documentary labels Murray “the mastermind” behind the entire escapade, which resulted in the theft of over 53 million pounds (84 million dollars). Murray and his gang utilized prosthetic masks, fake police uniforms, hidden cameras, and an arsenal of weapons that would make the cast of Predator blush to pull off their crime, only to be caught within the four months that followed it. Murray was sentenced to 10 years in Moroccan prison for his role in the heist, where he managed to pull off an even greater one: fathering a child and skipping out on the alimony payments LIKE A BOSS.

Unfortunately, the documentary fails to provide any insight regarding “Lightning’s” back alley brawl with Tito Ortiz, which is what we all really want to know about. But check out the video above, which features several highlights from Murray’s fight with Anderson Silva, and learn yourself something new. Who knows, maybe you can use this information to one day pull off an even greater robbery and actually get away with it. May the force be with you.

After the jump: A full video of Murray vs. Silva, because we’ve got to make this MMA-related somehow.

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In Case You Missed It: Ronaldo ‘Jacare’ Souza Floors Derek Brunson in 41 Seconds [VIDEO]


(Props: AllTheBestFights)

Ronaldo Souza‘s recent fights have proven that his standup skills are catching up with his tremendous ability on the mat — and his striking improvement reached an important milestone on Saturday night, when he scored the first lights-out K.O. of his nine-year fight career.

“Jacare” faced 9-1 Jackson’s MMA product Derek Brunson on the main card of Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman, and in Liddell-esque fashion, Souza found his opponent’s chin with a back-pedaling counter-right that dumped Brunson on his face. A few more follow-up shots, and it was all over. Even more impressive than Souza’s finishing power was the fact that he stopped throwing as soon as he saw that Brunson was unconscious — even if referee Mike “Stache God” Beltran clearly wanted the fight to keep going.

But Souza vs. Brunson wasn’t the only great knockout from this weekend’s Strikeforce card. After the jump: Ovince St. Preux’s one-punch shutoff of T.J. Cook.

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