(The UFC Fighter Summit has a storybook ending. Congrats, Janitor.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- BJ Penn and Jake Shields Want to Fight Each Other (LowKick)

- Shane Carwin’s Cardio Under Microscope at UFC 131 (NBC Sports MMA)

- Rashad Evans Explains His Nightclub Altercation With Jon Jones; Insists ‘Bones’ Ducked Him (MMA Mania)

- Mac Danzig Out of Next Month’s Anticipated Clash With Donald Cerrone, Vagner Rocha to Replace (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Matt Mitrione: If Ortiz Is Still Upset After Confrontation, ‘Then We Can Scrap’ (MMA Fighting)

- Your Favorite Hooters Girl to Serve Ring Cards at ‘UFC 132: Cruz vs. Faber II’ (5thRound)

- This Will Be the Strangest Seven-Second Knockout You Will See This Year (MiddleEasy)

- Mark Coleman ‘Would Drop Everything’ To Fight Herschel Walker (MMA Convert)

- Video: Hector Lombard Gets Pissed at Reporter After Bellator 44 (TheFightNerd)

- Going Medieval: MMA’s 20 Worst Beatdowns (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

(Props: Passing the Guard via tatame)

For those who are still convinced that Steven Seagal‘s relationship with Anderson Silva and Lyoto Machida is some oddball marketing ploy, the Brazilian fight show Passing the Guard has released a teaser clip of their next episode, which does indeed show Seagal training Machida just before his UFC 129 fight against Randy Couture.

It also gives you a pretty good sense of Seagal’s coaching style, which is pretty much the polar opposite of Greg Jackson-style lovey-doveyness. Listen close as he says the following: “Use your mind. Use your mind. I don’t care if you kill him. I don’t care. You fuck him up. You take him out.” Hey, you can’t argue with success — but it’s interesting that Seagal is playing the bad-guy teacher in his life’s latest role. And after so many heroic performances…

(Props: BellatorMMA)

Unfortunately, ReX was unable to provide us with one of his famous Bellator reports this week, so you’ll have to settle for this quick-n-dirty recap of Bellator 44, which went down Saturday night in Atlantic City. First, we’ll direct you to the video above: Hector Lombard earned his 18th-straight victory (!) in a non-title bout against Falaniko Vitale, crushing Niko to the mat with a right hook in the third frame after a surprisingly dull first two rounds. Lombard’s latest performance follows such previous classics as “Six Second Prison Rape” and “A Corpse Named ‘Whisper’.”

Headlining the card, Xtreme Couture’s Michael Chandler scored an upset decision win over the highly-touted Patricky Freire in the Season Four Lightweight Tournament final, outworking the Pitbull in all three rounds; Chandler was docked a point in the third for groin-kicks. The victory netted him a $100,00 check and a future shot at Eddie Alvarez’s belt. In non-tournament action, Alexander Shlemenko spun circles around Brett Cooper, picking up his own UD victory, while Giedrius Karavackas battled back from an early ass-kicking to submit Sam Oropeza by scarf-hold armlock. Full results and video of the Karavackas/Oropeza stoppage are after the jump.

(Props: ix3623vault)

Think of it as a necessary cool-down after those ring girl videos. Starring: Dwayne Lewis, Mark Hominick, Kazushi Sakuraba, and a bunch of lumpy boxers. Gross.

(Props: FightGameTV via Deaf Forever)

Hmm. Poor Tank has taken too many bottles to the head, if you know what I’m saying…

(The Shotgun in action. Props: 000BHVids000)

The UFC announced yesterday that featherweight veteran Rani Yahya — who most recently scored an upset decision over Mike Brown at Fight for the Troops 2 — has suffered an injury, and will not be able to face Dustin Poirier at UFC 131 (June 11th, Vancouver). Filling in for him will be Octagon first-timer Jason “Shotgun” Young (8-3), a former Cage Rage lightweight champion based in London, England. Last month, Young competed at Ontario’s first sanctioned MMA event, where he scored a unanimous decision over Jorge Britto. (You can see Jason talk about that match here, if you want to get a sense of the dude’s vibe.)

Dustin “The Diamond” Poirier is riding back-to-back wins over Zach Micklewright and Josh Grispi. He’s poised to become one of 2011 breakout fighters — especially since the documentary about his life, Fightville, was just picked up by Showtime Networks.

For the benefit of those who couldn’t make it, here are some of the notable faces (and other body parts) in attendance at last weekend’s UFC Fan Expo in Toronto. Check it out, if only to see Chan Sung Jung‘s #1 fan at the 0:04-0:06 mark. Those eyes haunt my dreams.

(Leg kicks, why have you forsaken me? / Photo courtesy of allelbows.com)

Today, as you know, is Easter — a day in which Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, three days after his crucifixion. To commemorate the holiday, we’d like to take this time to remember notable resurrections in the sport of mixed martial arts. (Because we’re respectful like that.) There’s nothing more incredible than watching a dude get the living crap beaten out of him for minutes at a time, and then somehow, miraculously, finding the strength to knock his opponent dead before the last bell. So without further ado, here are 11 of our favorite “Back From the Dead” MMA fights of all time…

(Fedor Emelianenko: Huge fan of Johnny Cage.)

Before there was the UFC, there was Mortal Kombat. First released in arcades back in October ’92, the addictively gory video-game franchise sought to answer the eternal question: Who would win in a fight between a kung-fu expert and a paddy-hatted immortal who can shoot lightning out of his hands?

The most memorable of aspect of the MK series has always been the trademark “Fatalities” — which have gotten progressively more over-the-top in the last 19 years. Of course, the sport of mixed martial arts often gives us similar moments of decisive ultra-violence. So in honor of the ninth installment of the game, which hits stores tomorrow, we decided to count down our favorite finishing moves in MMA. They may not be as dramatic as a spine being ripped out of your opponent’s body, but in the real world, this is as nasty as it gets…

#10: The Elbow Storm

A barrage of elbows to the head of a helpless fighter will make even hardened fans of the sport wince in sympathy — even if we’ve been watching this scene play out dozens of times since 1994. But there’s no questioning the raw efficiency of a “hellbow” assault from the top, which has the power to turn cocky contenders into broken shells.

(Props: OfficialSwick. The true horribleness starts around 2:54.)

Mike Swick should have his own travel show, preferably on one of the non-pussy networks. Quick’s globetrotting adventures have covered everything from African street-drugs and bootleg Osama merchandise to AIDS-lizards and lady-boys in Phuket. Now his road-dogs Phil Baroni and Roger Huerta are upping the ante by drinking fresh cobra blood. (Don’t worry, that snake was going to be used for belts and meat anyway.)

Phil and Rog each bang a shot of the red stuff at the 4:04 mark, and Baroni immediately follows it up with shot #2 . “How the fuck did you do that shit,” asks a visibly-shaken Huerta. “How did you do two?” Says Baroni, like a boss: “I’m gangsta.” Later, he eats the snake’s penis, which is somewhat less gangster in my opinion.

Fresh off his win over Nick Nolte, the New York Bad Ass is slated to take on former Cage Rage champ Matt Ewin at BAMMA 6 on May 21st.

(“Steven Seagal can eat a dick.” Photoprops: Sherdog)

Quick update on Royce Gracie’s rumored appearance at the “UFC Rio” event in August: The Octagon pioneer did an interview with UOL Esporte this week, in which he claimed that negotiations for a return fight are in the final stages. As Gracie said:

“(UFC Rio) would be the perfect place to do my last fight. I never fought in Rio de Janeiro and I couldn’t be more psyched. We are negotiating (the fight deal), but we should have it finalized in two weeks. We only had an initial contact and I don’t even have an opponent yet, but we should have that finalized soon…My weight is the same as it was twenty years ago [80kg], I am still training, keeping the blade sharp. I follow a very strict diet. I never drank, never party, Carnaval, none of that… I’m ready to fight.”

Of course, this contradicts earlier reports claiming that the 44-year-old legend’s participation was unlikely. And to be honest, it still sounds like bullshit. For the hundredth time, who is the UFC going to find for Royce to fight? Who?? If it’s not an old-schooler like Sakuraba or one of the Shamrocks, this would be a very bad idea. But then why would Gracie publicly state that he was two weeks away from finalizing a deal, unless it’s legit? We’ll find out soon enough…

After the jump: Royce Gracie’s last MMA victory that wasn’t immediately followed by a positive steroid test.

While most of us were busy watching Diaz vs. Daley last Saturday, Potato Nation Fight Team captain Jeff Watts (aka ‘Karmaatemycat‘) was actually fighting, in an amateur bout at King of the Cage: Outkasts, held at Lake of the Torches Casino in Lac du Flambeau, Wisconsin. It’s impressive enough that our man Karma now has cage experience at a well-respected regional event like KOTC. The Shinya Aoki grappling pants and the 80-second submission victory? That’s just icing on the cake, homey.

As with his last fight, Karma proves himself to be an adept wrestler, needing all of six seconds to put his opponent on the mat. From there, it’s a methodical progression to full mount, and a textbook rear-naked choke when his opponent rolls to escape. The fight aftermath is just as entertaining. Watch as Jeff shouts out his team, apologizes to the judges (LOL!), gets hug-snubbed by his opponent (BOOOO!), gives love to “CagePotatoMMA!” then asks the audience “What the fuck is up?!” He even got the announcer to shout out our site. Epic victory, brother — we’re proud of you.

Dana White’s long-held opinion of Nick Diaz goes something like this: He’s a talented kid, but he won’t be welcome back in the UFC until he learns how to “play the game.” Just before Diaz’s first-round TKO victory over Paul Daley on Saturday, White spoke to Ariel Helwani in more detail about Strikeforce’s anti-social welterweight champion (discussion starts at the 3:24 mark, translation via FightOpinion):

“When I listen to Nick Diaz talk, you know, this kid’s talented, he’s well-rounded, I like his attitude and the way that he carries himself…to a point. He always crosses the line every time he gets out there and talks publicly and…he can be such a big star. This kid could be a big star if he would just calm down a little bit and not so be so angry with everybody. I mean, seriously, who the fuck wants to beat up Ariel Helwani, man? Other than other reporters, who wants to beat up Ariel Helwani? Nick has this talent and he talks about the big money and all the other things. He can make this big money. He can do that. He can be that guy. He could fight GSP. He could have all these opportunities. He’s got to tone it down a little bit, you know, and I don’t think that many people out there would disagree with me and I’m not asking Nick Diaz not to be Nick Diaz. I like Nick Diaz. I like the way he is and it’s part of the appeal of him, you know. But you gotta tone it down just a little bit…if we could get Nick to a point where he doesn’t cross the line and he doesn’t get so crazy all the time, he could be a big star. People like him. And people dislike him, too. That’s not a bad thing.”

To this, we would ask: Tone what down, exactly? It’s been three years since the last time Diaz let weed affect his MMA career, and one year since the last time he participated in an in-cage brawl on national television; he’s actually been on his best behavior for a long damn time. Is a tense interview with Ariel Helwani really evidence that the UFC can’t work with one of the most talented fighters in the world? Can’t we just let Nick be Nick? And then you see Diaz’s post-fight interview with Helwani, and you’re like, “oh, right.” See what we mean after the jump…

(Props: comingsoon.net)

It’s kind of nice to see an MMA movie that doesn’t involve underground fight clubs or tubby physical comedians. Warrior hits theaters on September 9th, and aside from a couple of overly-dramatic plot points — the “win or you lose your house” angle, the brothers forced to face off in the climactic fight — it could turn out to be the most realistic depiction of the sport in movie history. The director is Gavin O’Connor, who was a producer on the classic 2002 MMA documentary The Smashing Machine, and it co-stars Tom Hardy, who was a total badass in Bronson. We’re looking forward to it.

(Paul Daley vs. Scott Smith, 12/4/10)

With 81.5% of his victories coming by way of strikes, Paul Daley has reason to be confident in his chances against Nick Diaz this Saturday. Semtex has gone 4-0 since his notorious loss to Josh Koscheck at UFC 113, and is currently riding back-to-back first-round knockouts of Scott Smith and Yuya Shirai. Of course, Diaz deserves to be a 2-1 favorite, but Daley is always one punch away from producing another devastating knockout. Here are nine of his best moments. (All videos cued up near the good stuff.)

(Paul Daley vs. Junior Barata, 4/18/09)

Our friends at MadeMan.com have followed up their “Win a Fight With One Punch” video with another tutorial from Legends MMA‘s Eddie Jackson. In this installment, Eddie shares some tips on how to take a punch, aided by crazy-eyed training partner Matt Horwich. Give it a look, and if you dig it, please subscribe to MadeManDotCom on YouTube.

Via IronForgesIron.com, here’s the video of Jon Jones‘s appearance on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno last night. The segment began with the UFC light-heavyweight champ handing Jay his belt as the Rickey Minor Band gamely worked its way through the Ultimate Fighter theme music. (“Time to end this suffering,” indeed.) Bones handed himself well. While fending off the advances of a very-smitten Kirstie Alley, Jones told the full story of his robber-apprehension in New Jersey before UFC 128, explained MMA to the old folks in the crowd, revealed how his mom beat him and his brothers twice a day (you know, because he grew up in such a strong Christian home), and then plugged his next fight against Rashad Evans, date still TBA. Your move, Brock. What did you guys think?

After the jump: Photos of Jonny Bones choking out Jay Leno and getting comfortable with Kirstie Alley.

Though Jeff “Karmaatemycat” Watts‘s TUF 14 tryout journey was cut short due to his record (more on that to come), the scrappy Potato Nation member does make a brief appearance at the 1:40-1:44 mark of the above video from MMAFighting.com. Had Watts been able to show off his skills for Dana & Co., he would have been doing so alongside such well-traveled 135/145-pound vets as Ian McCall, Bryan Caraway, Nick Denis, Matt Jaggers, Jose Vega, Paul McVeigh, and (as we see in this other highlight vid from KahL-One) Din Thomas. He would have also picked up $100 cash for every submission he pulled off. Oh well. Next time, bro…

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, as they say — and every legendary MMA career begins with a single fight. In collaboration with Huck Blade at NeonBarFights.com, CagePotato is proud to present “Before They Were Stars,” an MMA highlight reel that pays tribute to the pro debuts of fighters who went on to become heros of the sport, including Georges St. Pierre, Jon Jones, Jose Aldo, and Alistair Overeem. Check it out, share it with your friends, and let us know what you think.

(Props: pedrommabjj via Fightlinker)

If you have a morbid interest in seeing how James Irvin’s last fight against Mamed Khalidov went, well, here you go. I’m not going to throw around the word “work,” but check out how wide and telegraphed Irvin’s punches are, starting at the 0:21 mark — it’s the universal non-verbal sign for “please armbar me so I can collect my paycheck and head to the airport.” And that’s pretty much what happens. Happy now?

After the jump: The brutal finish of Patricio “Pitbull” Freire vs. Georgi Karakhanyan from Saturday’s Bellator show, Junior Dos Santos pulls off a pretty damn respectable “Showtime Kick,” and the gif of Shogun tapping against Jon Jones at the end of their fight at UFC 128, in case you haven’t seen it yet.

(Props: UFC)

At this point, even we’re sick of hearing about Jon Jones‘s abilities and what Greg Jackson thinks of them. But I just spent the last twenty minutes watching Spike’s “In the Moment” special on Bones, and if you’re a fan of the 23-year-old phenom, I suggest you do the same. The mostly first-person account of Jones’s lead-up to UFC 128 introduces us to his brother, girlfriend, and daughters, and gives us a lot more insight about his training in Albuquerque. Definitely worth your time.

(Update: Damn autoplay. Check out the video after the jump.)

“I just suffered a huge loss. That’s fighting. That’s the name of the game. That’s the world. As the world turns, people win, people lose, you get your ass back on the saddle and ride into town again…[Dos Santos] is in my way, and that’s the only thing I give a shit about. He’s in my way to get my title back. I was, and I will be again, the UFC heavyweight champion of the world. [Sarah Palin-esque wink/click]”

So says TUF 13 coach Brock Lesnar in his first video promo for The Ultimate Fighter: Team Lesnar vs. Team Dos Santos, which premieres Wednesday, March 30th, at 9 p.m./8c. We’re curious to see how the moody, insular former heavyweight champ handles a room full of screaming welterweights. Along with his solid team of assistant coaches, will Brock be able to inspire the up-and-coming fighters to be successful? Or are we looking at another heel-coach in the vein of Koscheck and Rampage?

(The problem with American MMA fans is that they don’t understand the tag-team ground game enough to appreciate it.)

BY MATTHEW “THE FIGHT NERD” KAPLOWITZ

We all have that one friend who still just doesn’t get MMA. You tell him how safe it is, he says he doesn’t believe it since you can punch a dude on the ground. You tell him there are rules in place to keep everyone healthy, he says he doesn’t believe it since you can punch a dude on the ground. See a trend developing? No matter what you say, this person just never understands. Part of it might be because of the numerous videos that highlight brutality or generally idiocy in the sport, and of course those are the videos that get traffic — not the ones that showcase good sportsmanship and quality fighting. I blame “America’s Funniest Home Videos” for this obsession with schadenfreude.

These are fights that your friend who hates MMA references to remind you of how horrible he thinks the sport is, and he could have a point with some of these when taken out of context. These fights make you ashamed to be an MMA fan; some for how strangely they turned out due to circumstances, and others for how damaging they were for the whole of the sport. Just a warning to you: This list might start off jovial, but it will take a sharp turn for the serious as we get closer to the bottom. So let’s dive into this cesspool that is teeming with the lowest common denominator and take a look at 10 MMA fights you wish you never saw, and more importantly, that you may wish never existed in the first place.

10. Kimbo Slice vs. Houston Alexander

The man billed as “The Youtube Sensation,” backyard-brawler-turned-MMA-fighter Kimbo Slice made a splash in EliteXC, until he was jabbed to death by Seth Petruzelli in the appropriate finale for that company. No one knew what would happen to Kimbo, and questioned if he would enter boxing, K-1, or return to MMA. We were soon given an answer when the Florida-native popped up on the tenth season of “The Ultimate Fighter.” Now, we would really see if he was UFC material by working his way up against other fighters vying for the top spot.

And hey, turns out Kimbo was not UFC material as he was defeated in the first round of the tournament by Roy Nelson. Still, people swooned over Kimbo saying he was given the hardest fighter in the house. Inevitably, Kimbo was granted a second chance at the TUF 10 finale, getting a fight with equally disappointing Houston Alexander, who had built up a reputation for having great hands and little else. It made perfect sense to book these two together, in hopes that one would knock the other into a time when ProElite meant something other than floundering stock prices.

Instead of fireworks, the match fizzled out and dragged out to a dull decision, with Alexander doing little more than throwing some leg kicks and Kimbo being the one to push the fight. Alexander, who was brought in for this one fight after three losses in a row, was cut and Kimbo was cut one fight later after a beatdown courtesy of Matt Mitrione. The moral of the story here — sure, street fighting is fun to watch, but does that equate to being an MMA fighter? It could if they actually trained. Slice was an example of the hype machine gone overboard, and there is a reason why we have not seen a street fighter pushed like that since.

9. Tag Team MMA

(Skip to the 7-minute mark for the finish. Props: carloscub6)

Stepping in for the cancelled James Irvin vs. Houston Alexander co-main event, Tara LaRosa and Carina Damm put on a great show for the fans at Shark Fights 14 in Lubbock, Texas, on Friday, ending in a second-round submission win for the American. After an evenly pitched first round, LaRosa scored right away in the second frame, knocking Damm down with a jab. Damm immediately responded with a heel-hook attempt on the ground, but LaRosa grabbed a heel-hook of her own and was able to finish hers first. The loss was Damm’s third-straight, following a ten-fight win streak.

In the main event, Danillo Villefort dominated Matt Horwich for all three rounds with a varied striking attack and a handful of well-timed takedowns, earning a unanimous 30-27 nod from the judges. Full Shark Fights 14 results are after the jump.

(Joanne Spracklen isn’t the only familiar face you’ll be seeing today…)

I think we can all agree that the first round of auditions for our “MMAshed Potato” video series was, in general, an utter disaster. (No offense to Scott Epstein, who took the popular vote in a landslide.) Taking the advice of Potato Nation members like Fried Taco, Morningwood, and Stak40, we decided to do another round of auditions that featured good-lookin’ women who just read a short script we wrote for them, pretty much word-for-word. We also included a pronunciation key, to cut down on name-butchering. Check out the videos after the jump, and please use the poll in the sidebar to tell us how you feel. Thanks, guys.

Sometimes an MMA fight is so close — or controversial — that matching the fighters up again a few months later is the only logical option. In honor of the upcoming immediate rematches between Leonard Garcia and Nam Phan (at UFC Fight Night 24 on March 26th), and Edgar vs. Maynard 3 at UFC 130, we decided to round up our favorite “do-over” fights of all time…

6. STEPHAN BONNAR vs. KRZYSZTOF SOSZYNSKI
UFC 116, 7/3/10

Why it was necessary: A clash of heads during their first fight at UFC 110 opened up a nasty gash on Bonnar’s forehead; the referee didn’t see the illegal impact, and awarded a TKO victory to Soszynski due to cuts. Furious at taking his third-straight loss in such an unjust manner, Bonnar filed a formal appeal with the Combat Sports Authority of New South Wales. Unfortunately, it fell on deaf ears, but the UFC hooked Bonnar up (as they often do) by giving him an immediate rematch with K-Sos on the blockbuster “Lesnar vs. Carwin” card.
What happened: Bonnar/Soszynski 2 turned out to be a meat-and-potatoes brawl reminiscent of Bonnar’s first war with Forrest Griffin. The American Psycho and the Polish Experiment both appeared to gas out by the middle of the second round, but Bonnar was able to keep throwing and landing until he overwhelmed K-Sos with strikes at the 3:08 mark. The fight netted both men $75,000 Fight of the Night bonuses, and produced one of the greatest victory poses in UFC history.

5. FRANKIE EDGAR vs. BJ PENN
UFC 118, 8/28/10

(Props: 2112neto)

UFC 128: Shogun vs. Jones goes down March 19th at the Prudential Center in Newark, and we’ve got the extended trailer for your viewing pleasure. Personally, I’m already a little burned out on watching the main eventers’ fight highlights and hearing the crusty old “youth vs. experience” debate. If you are too, just skip to the 4:51 mark to hear more about two other fights that aren’t getting nearly enough attention.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

We’re only 18 days away from one of the most compelling UFC title fights in recent history. Will Jon Jones complete his prodigious ascent to the top of the light-heavyweight heap, less than three years after making his MMA debut? Will veteran knockout artist Mauricio Rua show Bones what a true champion really is? And will anybody have the guts to confront Shogun about his unibrow situation? The UFC’s latest teaser trailer has our minds racing. If you have any insight, please share…

(Props: WunWunTwo)

Back in March 2009, we referred to the above clip as “the greatest KO ever.” We never bothered to find out who the fighters were, but we got a strange flash of deja vu during UFC 127 on Saturday night when Brian Ebersole launched two separate cartwheel kicks at Chris Lytle. Now, MiddleEasy confirms that the dude in the famous cartwheel kick knockout video is Brian Ebersole. The fight went down at XFC: Return of the Hulk in Perth, Australia on 3/14/09, and the unlucky victim was Shannon Forrester. Now give that crazy manscaped goof his due respect. After the jump: Gifs of Ebersole’s failed cartwheel kick attempts against Lytle, courtesy of IronForgesIron.com.

(Update: The video was stuck on auto-play, so we moved it after the jump…)

Courtesy of Spike TV, here’s the cast unveiling video for TUF 13, which premieres on March 30th. Among the 14 welterweight hopefuls, there are fewer well-known names compared to recent seasons. I know who Shamar Bailey is because of his stint with Strikeforce, while undefeated KOTC standout Myles Jury — 9-0, all wins by stoppage, eight in the first round — has also been on my radar. But other than that, the cast is mostly made up of unknowns, with no obvious ringer in the mix. On the other hand, there also isn’t a lot of crazy hair in this video, which suggests that maybe these guys are more serious about fighting than camera time. That’s a good sign. A complete cast-list is after the jump…