(Nam Phan vs. Mike Budnik. Props: eze32101)

No need for a lengthy preamble — you’ve already seen the first five minutes of the Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck season premiere, and you know how these things generally go down. We’ve got 28 lightweights, battling for 14 spots. Dana White addresses the troops, Bruce Leroy giggles with anticipation. It’s the elimination round, where the RFFs (real fucking fighters) are separated from the pretenders. Let’s get it.

Marc Stevens vs. TJ O’Brien 
Stevens wrestled at the University of Buffalo when Josh Koscheck was the assistant wrestling coach there. Kos calls him an "okay wrestler." Stevens immediately lands a huge overhand right, then jackhammers O’Brien on the ground until the ref steps in. We later learn that the 13-second TKO is the fastest stoppage in TUF history. "Remember me now?" Stevens asks Koscheck.

Spencer Paige vs. Steve Magdaleno
Paige’s striking is as good as advertised, as he lands a mix of attacks in round 1. Magdaleno ends the round on top, working some ground-and-pound, but it might not be enough to steal the round. They start round 2 swinging for the fences before Paige starts blasting Magdaleno with knees. Magdaleno shoots on Paige and dumps him. Magdaleno looks for an arm triangle, then goes back to abusing Paige from the top. Magdaleno drops to guard when the action goes standing again, and possibly blows the fight, as Paige finishes strong with strikes from the top. Paige takes the unanimous decision.

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– The UFC officially announces Penn vs. Hughes III in Detroit (MMA Convert)

– Efrain Escudero comes in four pounds heavy for UFC Fight Night 22; fight with Oliveira will proceed as a catchweight bout (Five Ounces of Pain)

– Must-see: Chael Sonnen debuts his new stand-up comedy material at yesterday’s UFC Q&A session in Austin. (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Helwani vs. Dundas: UFN 22 Edition (Versus MMA Beat)

– Donald Cerrone Steps Over the Line Between Good Hype and a PR Problem (MMA Fighting)

– UFC 119: Mir vs. Cro Cop extended video trailer (MMA Scraps)

– Punk rock vampire pirates are the key to MMA promotion, obviously. (MiddleEasy)

– Anderson Silva says the fight against Chael Sonnen would be a different story, if he was completely healthy (LowKick)

– Behind the Lens With Josh Koscheck (FIGHT! Magazine)

– Epic video of Muhammad Ali doing what he does best…talking that smack (Watch Kalib Run)

You may also be interested in…

– The Jackass 3D crew needs ideas. Submit yours for a chance to film it with them. Plus, video of a rather impressive ferris wheel nut-shot. (WonderHowTo)

– Music video directors who made the jump to the big screen (Bullz-Eye)

(Video courtesy of YouTube.com/asylumchannel)

Props to our buds at Asylum.com for putting Georges St. Pierre to good use when he stopped by their offices the other day. To recap, GSP is not impressed by your work, not impressed by Matt Hughes, not impressed by Taylor Swift, and somewhat impressed with that orange. Hopefully GSP keeps the running gag going and delivers his catchphrase to every losing fighter in tomorrow night’s TUF 12 elimination round.

(Props: SOULJAHBOY1219)

We’ve already gotten a glimpse of TUF 12 castmember Alex Caceres, the afro’d cut-up who brought his own Bruce Lee costume to the set. Alex sports an MMA record of 4-2 — not including the unsanctioned backyard brawls he had in Perrine, Florida back in the day, hosted by Kimbo-esque fighter/promoter DaDa 5000 (of Dawg Fight fame). UG’er joe bruce found the above video of Caceres in one of those fights, scrapping with a gentleman named Chocolate in a 12-foot-square patch of grass. Chocolate is a handful at first, throwing wild punches and slamming Caceres on more than one occasion, but once Alex sets up the triangle choke, it’s only a matter of time before he gets the chill-dog tap. Afterwards, "Bruce" informs us that he takes slams all day, and basks in his instant celebrity. Not bad for a guy whose fight skills come from a delinquency prevention program.

Alex’s path to UFC glory begins this Wednesday night after UFC Fight Night 22 (which we’ll be liveblogging, FYI), when he does battle in the elimination round of TUF 12. For more of Bruce Leroy, check out his extended Ultimate Fighter video profile.

By now, you may have already seen that video going around of Pat Barry kicking the stuffing out of our punch-machine at the UFC Fan Expo. When KLM Vending dropped off the machine at our booth, they gave us strict orders to not let any drunken tough-guy idiot try to kick the bag. But when HD Barry drops by and starts rolling his shorts up, you’re pretty much helpless to do anything except smile nervously and move out of the way.

Of course, Pat wasn’t the only one who was drawn to the punch-machine at the CagePotato.com Fan Expo booth. As VH and ReX already explained, we had a thick crowd of participants and gawkers all weekend, many of whom turned into hooked rubes who couldn’t stop pleading for "one more turn" on the thing. And my God did they take it seriously. So here’s our video tribute to their efforts, edited by Break Media’s Matty Sumida and soundtracked by Fort Minor. Enjoy, and we hope to see you guys at the next one…

(Props: youtube.com/shosports)

It’s not quite Nick Diaz vs. Jason Miller, but Strikeforce is going to do its very best to convince you that Nick Diaz vs. KJ Noons — who’s fighting for the title in his Strikeforce welterweight debut! — is the grudge match you’ve been begging for. And how do they plan on accomplishing that? By staying on message. As you’ll see, the famous phrase "Don’t be scared, homey" pops up twice in this one-minute hype clip for Strikeforce’s next event at San Jose’s HP Pavilion on October 9th. Which begs the question: If "DBS,H" is the theme of the night, why not hold the event in Stockton? What, too real for you guys? Violent crime rate too high? Pussies.

At this point, only two other fights have been booked for the Showtime broadcast of Strikeforce: Diaz vs. Noons II. After earning her employers’ respect with a slam-knockout of Roxanne Modafferi at the last Challengers card, 135-pound champion Sarah Kaufman will make her next title defense against Marloes Coenen, who was sacrificed to Cris Cyborg earlier this year at Strikeforce: Miami. Also, Matt Lindland will follow up his TKO win over Kevin Casey with a bout against hot middleweight prospect Luke Rockhold (7-1), who has ended all six of his Strikeforce appearances by first-round stoppage, including wins over Jesse Taylor and Cory Devela. Christ, good luck Matt.

(Fight starts at the 5:50 mark. Props: MMAVideosPL)

Polish Anderson Silva? Not quite yet, but Maciej Jewtuszko is well on his way to making his name in the U.S. Closing out the preliminary portion of WEC 50 against Anthony Njokuani, things started out shaky the WEC newcomer. Jewtuszko got punched out of the air and onto his ass when Njokuani caught and countered his double-kick attempt. Njokuani made Jewtuszko pay with some hard punches from the top, but eventually decided to let Maciej to his feet. It was a decision that Njokuani would immediately regret.

Watch as Jewtuszko finds the right moment to land a spinning backfist/elbow to Njokuani’s chin. The follow-up guillotine choke attempt doesn’t pan out, but the finishing uppercuts certainly do. The win netted Jewtuszko his eighth consecutive stoppage victory, and his first WEC knockout bonus. Expect to see this guy again in the near future.

Related: Njokuani’s nickname on Wikipedia is currently listed as "The Nigerian Money Offer."

When James Toney meets Randy Couture at UFC 118 next Saturday, he’ll be attempting to prove the dominance of the "sweet science" over that weird stuff that gay skinheads do. Of course, he won’t be the first pugilist to try to beat an MMA fighter at their own game — boxing vs. martial arts challenge matches have been around since before "Lights Out" was born. Join us as we take a look back at the brave boxers who preceded Toney…and what became of them.

MILO SAVAGE vs. "JUDO" GENE LeBELL
December 2, 1963

Arguably the first sanctioned MMA match in American history, Savage vs. LeBell came together when legendary judoka/actor Gene LeBell answered a challenge from boxer Jim Beck, who claimed that a professional boxer could beat any martial artist. (Yep, they’ve been making the same boast for almost 50 years.) According to LeBell, he was expecting to fight Beck himself in the televised match, but his opponent was switched at the last minute to Milo Savage, a top-5-ranked light-heavyweight who was allegedly wearing brass knuckles under his fingerless speed-bag gloves, and was greased from head to toe. Despite the disadvantages, Gene sunk a lapel choke in the 4th round and put Savage to sleep. But as with most stories involving Judo Gene, the details are somewhat debatable; this Jonathan Snowden article debunks several aspects of LeBell’s version. Still, LeBell vs. Savage deserves credit as the first MMA-style fight on television, and set up a rivalry between boxing and martial arts that’s somehow still relevant today.

MUHAMMAD ALI vs. ANTONIO INOKI
June 26, 1976

It sounded like good, harmless fun — the greatest boxer of all time taking on Japanese pro-wrestling kingpin Antonio Inoki in an exhibition match in Tokyo. But in the days leading up to the show, bizarre rules were added that restricted certain attacks. Most notably, Inoki could only kick if he had one knee on the ground. So, he scooted around the ring kicking Ali’s legs for the entire 15-round duration. Ali only landed six punches the entire fight and went home with two blood clots and an infection. The bout was ruled a draw, and has garnered a reputation as one of the ugliest fiascos in the history of combat sports. Fun fact: The referee of this match? None other than mixed-fighting pioneer Gene LeBell.

ix3623 is a ridiculously prolific editor of MMA/sports videos that are unmatched in their ability to waste large blocks of your time. While checking out ix’s new two-part "compilation of interesting mix martial arts facts" series today, we noticed the above tribute to sick knockouts at local shows, and it might be his most important work yet. First, a point of clarification: "amateur" here means "shot with a shitty camera." (We definitely recognized a few smaller pro leagues in the mix.) But that’s just a minor detail, because my goodness is this stuff hardcore. These are not TKO stoppages. This is nine and a half minutes of guys getting knocked dead-asleep in horrible fashion. Enjoy! We also recommend ix3623′s unsportsmanlike behavior megamix, the 30-part (!) funniest moments in MMA series, and this unrelated but compelling highlight reel.

(Props: lookoutawhale via MMAMania)

He did it again: Between rounds in his fight against Rafael Dos Anjos at UFC 117, Clay Guida unleashed his trademark Carpenter Burp. Notice how Guida does his best to ensure that the cutman is spared the rancid yogurt-and-Red Bull scent that is surely blasting out of his g.i. tract. That’s a courteous man right there. The definitive compilation of Clay’s UFC-era burps is above; if you enjoy this sort of thing, then enjoy. It’s definitely more fun than watching Kendall Grove pull strips of flesh out of a staph wound, Cabin Fever-style.

After the jump: Jenny Yum ruins Lindsay "Amazon Barbie" Jones’s night with a spinning backfist, at a Tuff-N-Uff event on Friday.

(Props: TheCageDoor.net via MMA Scraps. Fight starts at the 0:19 mark.)

It’s one of the biggest bitch-moves in MMA — acting like you’re going to tap gloves at the start of a fight like a gentleman, and then launching a surprise attack as soon as your opponent is in range. (For examples, see here, here, and here.) At a Legacy FC event in Houston on July 31st, JR Fuller decided to try the unsportsmanlike technique himself, but instead of firing an overhand right like the successful fakers that came before him, he shoots for a takedown. Big mistake. Jonathan Harris throws a perfectly-timed knee, Fuller eats it and hits the mat face-first, Tyson Griffin-style. The official time of the stoppage was 0:05, but the jackass was really out within two seconds. Proving once again, boys and girls: Cheaters never prosper. 

(Morecraft vs. Josh Diekmann, 11/14/09; fight starts at the 2:27 mark.)

Two minor-league MMA prospects will be taking a major leap in competition this Saturday, as they make their Octagon debuts in the preliminary card of UFC 117. As we saw with Charles Oliveira at "Jones vs. Matyushenko" on Sunday, sometimes dreams do come true. And sometimes they get crushed and blown away like dust. Get to know the new guys below and keep an eye out for ‘em this weekend…

CHRISTIAN MORECRAFT (HW)
Experience: 6-0 record (all wins by first-round stoppage, three within the first minute) competing in the Reality Fighting and Cage Fighting Xtreme promotions. All fights have taken place in Plymouth, Massachusetts. Most recently scored a submission-via-strikes victory over Lee Beane in May to win CFX’s heavyweight title.
Will be facing: Stefan Struve (19-4, 3-2 UFC)
Lowdown: Another large addition to the UFC’s heavyweight division, Morecraft is a 6’6, 258-pound smashing machine that has been drawing lots of attention in Massachusetts. The 23-year-old began studying the sport with John Burke at the Dungeon MMA Academy, and now calls the Cape Cod Fighting Alliance his home. His take on MMA: "For every way there is to put somebody (in a hold), there’s a way of getting out if you do it at the right moment. And everything flows. It’s an art.” Morecraft digs ’80s metal, and walked out to Kiss’s "Calling Dr. Love" for the Beane fight.

(Carano and Cyborg: Godmothers of the game. / Photo courtesy of SI.com)

By CagePotato.com contributor Jim Genia

First there was the Nineteenth Amendment of the Constitution, which empowered the women of the United States with the right to vote. The Sexual Revolution of the 1960s followed, providing them with birth control and shifting values, and liberating them from the social constraints of a rigid society. Then came Gina Carano vs. Cris “Cyborg” Santos, which showed that when you put two well-trained ladies in a cage and pay them to fight, they can really beat the crap out of each other (or at least one can thoroughly whoop the other).

Yes, great strides have been made in equality for the fairer sex, and thanks to the likes of Carano and Cyborg, this equality has stretched into the realm of mixed martial arts. Now, there are impending all-female tournaments scheduled for Strikeforce and Bellator, and Sarah Kaufman’s recent violent KO over Roxanne Modafferi made ESPN’s “SportCenter”. Whether you love it or hate it, the female version of limited-rules combat is here to stay. So here’s a look back at some of the greatest moments in MMA herstory. (Get it? “His-story”, “her-story”? Yuk-yuk.)

Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young, EliteXC: “Primetime”

On May 31, 2008, EliteXC broke the live network-television seal with “Primetime”, a CBS-broadcast event that saw Kimbo Slice smash James Thompson’s ear, Robbie Lawler poke Scott Smith in the eye, and an overweight Carano batter a smaller Kaitlin Young. Overweight? That’s right, for the first-ever female bout on free TV, ultra-popular fighter and former American Gladiator Carano failed to make the contracted 140-pound weight limit, coming in instead at 144.5 pounds. This wasn’t the first time the “Face of Women’s MMA” had failed to make weight. In fact, EliteXC had tailor-made the 140-pound division for her because making the standard 135-pound limit would’ve required too much cardio and crystal meth. To ensure that she didn’t miss weight at her next fight, which was a pairing in Miami against Kelly Kobold, Carano stepped on the scale buck naked. Thankfully, the towel held up by her father to conceal her nude form from the crowd only slipped once.

MMA Fighter Chokes Baby – Watch more Sports

Hopefully this will silence the haters who think Alan Belcher‘s grappling isn’t on Demian Maia’s level. MMAGirls.net brings us this video of the Talent demonstrating the ol’ RNC on his six-month-old daughter Ava, who already seems to understand that tapping out is for bitches. Watch as the level of concern in the room goes from "awww, what’s he doing to that baby?" to "seriously, what’s he doing to that baby." Belcher most recently finished Patrick Cote — a full-grown man — by the same technique at UFC 113.

(Paul Thatcher shoots model Jade Bryce for FIGHT!’s July 2010 issue. She enjoys camping, Roger Huerta, and covering her boobs with boxing gloves. Props: FIGHT! Magazine)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Bold MMA Predictions For The Second Half Of 2010 (Heavy.com/MMA)

- Chad Griggs: Lashley Is Strikeforce’s Golden Child, But Very Beatable (MMA Fighting)

– The Most Ridiculous Nick Diaz T-Shirt Ever Printed (MiddleEasy)

– Community Interview: WEC Featherweight Contender Josh Grispi Answers Questions From Fans (LowKick)

– After TUF Loss, DaMarques Johnson Still Climbing the UFC Ranks (Versus MMA Beat)

– Mitrione vs. Beltran, Dollaway vs. Doerkson set for UFC 119 Prelims on Spike TV (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Brock Lesnar Makes it Rain, PPV Buys That Is (Watch Kalib Run)

– Knockout of the Day: Segio Junior vs. Thiago Gomes da Silva (MMA Scraps)

Because it’s Monday morning and you’re all still half-asleep and three-quarters hungover, we’d like to present the latest epic highlight reel from Caposa, which presents 2010′s best MMA knockouts from around the world. It’s been a damn good year for head trauma, apparently. But wait, there’s more…

(Props: Mifojei via CRE)

An Alistair Overeem highlight video edited to follow the dialogue and plot of Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange? Why the hell not. After all, the Demolition Man has a way with the ol’ ultraviolence. If you’re unfamiliar with ACO, check out the beginning of the flick after the jump to see where this strange little vid gets its inspiration…

(Props: V4YDEN via MMA Scraps)

October 2002, Montreal. With first-round stoppages against Ivan Menjivar and Justin Bruckmann under his belt, Georges St. Pierre (2-0) was already the welterweight champion of the Canada-based Universal Combat Challenge when he stepped into the ring against Edmonton native Travis Galbraith, who was a slightly-more-seasoned 5-1 at the time. It took St. Pierre all of four seconds to score the double-leg takedown — Rush was already a natural at age 21 — and aside from an armlock attempt, Galbraith didn’t have much to offer on the ground.

The real reason to check out this fight if you’ve never seen it before is the unique finish, which starts around 3:23. With Galbriath’s arms locked around GSP’s arm and neck, St. Pierre pulls up and drives Galbriath’s head against the mat a couple times. After throwing in a couple of conventional strikes, GSP goes back to the brutal short-slams until his opponent is dazed and the ref stops the fight. After two more wins in Canada, St. Pierre earned his ticket to the UFC. And hopefully we’ll see this finishing move again someday…

(Props: youtube.com/impactfcmma)

It wasn’t until we saw the opening of this bizarre promo — with Ken Shamrock mock-selling his match against Pedro Rizzo at next Sunday’s Impact event — that it finally hit us. Jesus Christ, this dude is headlining another show? If you don’t count fights in which he tested positive for steroids, against opponents who died shortly afterwards due to poor health, you have to go back all the way to June 2004 to find Shamrock’s last victory. After that, he suffered five consecutive first-round TKO losses; to say he phoned in those performances would be an insult to phones. And Ken does sound a little punchy these days, to be honest. He seems to think Pedro Rizzo is 6’4" or 6’5" (even though Rizzo is generally listed at 6’1"), so, you know, he’s "got a lot of heighth to deal with."

At the end, Ken gets a little too honest: "Right now, where we are at this stage of the game, where we started so early, that we kind of play it from here depending on how I feel, if we’re gonna go hard or if we’re just gonna kinda go through some of the motions." Huh? That’s not the sort of thing I’d include in a promo clip, guys. As for Rizzo, the three-time UFC heavyweight title contender has scored wins over Jeff Monson and Gary Goodridge since being laid flat by Gilbert Yvel in June 2009. I’ll go out on a limb and say he takes this one by first-round TKO…

(Props: fighthub)

Heads-up: Impact FC’s first heel-tastic fight card goes down this Saturday at the Brisbane Entertainment Center, headlined by Josh Barnett (25-5) vs. Geronimo "Mondragon" Dos Santos (18-9). In the above video interview, Barnett predicts that Dos Santos will make a big thud when he hits the mat, and says he’ll "anally rape [Dos Santos] if possible." Would you expect anything less from The Greatest Sportsman in MMA?

Barnett is on a five-fight win streak, and most recently submitted Mighty Mo at DREAM.13. Dos Santos snapped a two-fight losing skid in May when he knocked out Fabio Jamantha at a Combat Fight event in Brazil. This weekend’s Impact event marks the first time that Mondragon will compete outside of his home country. The current lineup of "Impact FC: The Uprising – Brisbane" is below:

Josh Barnett vs. Geronimo Dos Santos
Karo Parisyan vs. Luis "Besouro" Dutra Jr
Carlos Newton vs. Brian Ebersole
Joaquim Ferreira vs. Sokoudjou
Jeff Monson vs. Brad Morris
Bira Lima vs. Felise Leniu
Jai Bradney vs. Thiago "Minu" Meller

After the jump: Three videos of Geronimo Dos Santos in action, including his beat-down of Zuluzinho…

Cris Cyborg post-fight interview – Watch more Funny Videos

Our buddy Brian D’Souza was on the scene at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum, and got us this exclusive video interview with 145-pound women’s champ Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos, who put on another vicious striking performance en route to a 2nd-round KO against Jan Finney. Cyborg explains that she thought the fight should have been stopped earlier, and wasn’t troubled by Finney’s strikes because she used to training with men. She plans to get back into training and prepare for her next opponent — possibly Erin Toughill according to Scott Coker, even though Erin shot down that idea in March. But will anybody be prepared for Cyborg?

(Props: mikeychch)

Click here for the Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum play-by-play.

(Healy vs. Ryan Ford @ MFC 17, 7/25/08)

After losing his belt to Gilbert Melendez last December, Josh Thomson returns to the Strikeforce cage tomorrow night at Fedor vs. Werdum, where he will be kicking off the Showtime broadcast against Pat "Bam Bam" Healy. Healy may be an unknown quantity among casual fans, but he’s a tough competitor who’s been fighting professionally since 2001, and could actually give the Punk a run for his money. Here’s what you need to know about him:

– Healy’s record stands at 22-15, with 19 of those wins coming via stoppage. His resume includes notable victories over Dan Hardy, Paul Daley, Carlos Condit, Mike Guymon, Ryan Ford (twice), and most recently, a unanimous decision over Bryan Travers at the Lindland vs. Casey Strikeforce Challengers card last month. He’s had the honor of being beaten up by Denis Kang, Chris Lytle, Brad Blackburn (twice), Jay Hieron, and Rory Markham.

– A current member of Team Quest’s Gresham camp and former collegiate wrestler, Healy was previously Maximum Fighting Championship’s welterweight champ, until he relinquished the belt to compete at lightweight. He has also competed for the IFL and WEC, and had one fight in the UFC — a first-round submission loss to Anthony Torres at UFC Fight Night 6.

– Healy is coming into this fight as a replacement for Lyle "Fancy Pants" Beerbohm, who suffered an elbow injury in his last fight against Vitor Ribeiro at Heavy Artillery. He’s a sizable betting underdog in the +300 to +380 range.

– He has a twin brother, Ryan, who also fights.

After the jump: More videos of Pat in action.

(Zoila Frausto vs. Rosi Sexton. Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

By DL “All’s Well That Enswell” Richardson

Like summer vacations, dorm parties, and that time you dated the sex-crazed stripper, all good things must come to an end. It was the final show for Bellator’s second season last night, and if you weren’t watching, it was your own damn fault. Louisville, Kentucky plays host for the finals in two weight classes, a women’s division superfight, and a bantamweight tourney qualifier, plus some regional action and (I assume) some horse races and bourbon tastings out of sheer habit. What surprises are in store? Who will turn in a stellar performance and make a name for themselves, as Ben Askren did just last week? Who will claim the poster-sized check and grin goofily as they hold it aloft for all to see, as Ben Askren also did last week? Will Alexander “The Dreidel” Shlemenko manage to keep his fight on the feet? Will we finally make up our minds about whether Joe Warren is a pretty cool guy who isn’t afraid of anything, or is he, after all, just a turbo douche? That’s a lot of questions — what are you, a preschooler? Seriously, if you start just asking “why?” every time I say something, I’ll turn this car around, and we won’t even go to the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory Tour. Follow me past the jump, and all will be revealed. If you’re good, maybe I’ll talk your mother into seeing the zoo. If not, I’m taking us to see the World’s Largest Bottle of Booze.

(Props: neerbnadroj)

While American MMA fans were focused on the TUF 11 Finale and WEC 49 last weekend, Sengoku Raiden Championships 13 went down Sunday in Tokyo, featuring Masanori Kanehara‘s first featherweight title defense against Marlon Sandro. Or should we say attempted title defense — Sandro needed just 38 seconds to blast Kanehara with a right uppercut and send him down to the canvas face-first, stiff as a board. Already the reigning featherweight King of Pancrase, Sandro now adds the Sengoku featherweight belt to his trophy case.

After an early career that was marked by more decisions than stoppages, Sandro (17-1) has scored three straight first-round knockouts since his controversial split-decision loss to Michihiro Omigawa last August; Sandro’s win over Kanehara follows his nine-second KO of Tomonari Kanomata at Sengoku 12. Sengoku 13 will be broadcast on HDNet this Friday at 10 p.m. ET. Full results from the event are after the jump…

(Props: FearNo12012)

…okay, he doesn’t really call 911. He pretends to, as part of an improvisational comedy routine titled "Randy Couture, I’mma Beatcho Ass." It’s kind of amazing, actually, and a lot more focused than Toney’s previous insane YouTube callout efforts. See, when Frank Mir threatens to kill somebody in the Octagon, he loses his WEC color-man gig and is forced to apologize to Brock Lesnar. When James "Lights Out" Toney does it? Pure magic.

Of course, there are a few other things that stand out in the video. First off, Toney is training at the M-1 Global gym in Chatsworth, California — which puts the Dark Emperor just one degree of separation away from the Last Emperor — and yeah, that’s Juanito Ibarra creeping around back there. Toney also mentions that he has a boxing match scheduled against WBA heavyweight champ David Haye on October 1st, just five weeks after the Couture fight at UFC 118. Talk about optimistic. And yes, Toney plans on murdering Haye as well. And getting away with it. And getting paid for it. A lotta money. Mucho dinero. Mucho mugambo. Mmm.

After the jump: Even more of James Toney shouting at a hand-held camera.

(Props: MiddleEasy)

UFC Undisputed 2010 and EA MMA may be getting all the attention, but there’s another MMA video game in production that could have a big impact among idiots. The game is called Supremacy MMA, and you can check out the trailer above. You will see:

– MMA described with the words "illegal, unauthorized, brutal"
– Barbed wire
– Pitbulls
– Snakes
– Skulls
– Wolves
– X-rays of broken bones
– Ring girl asses
– Spiders
– A mushroom cloud
– Exactly three frames of gameplay footage, which are edited in so quickly that you might miss them if you’re not paying attention

All that, and a generic thrash-metal soundtrack. Basically, you have every visual signifier of MMA meathead culture, with zero substance to speak of. A Gamepro article posted yesterday offers these additional facts:

(The Jose Vega vs. Jarrod Card knockout. Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

By DL “Low Blow” Richardson

Bellator XXII returned to the Kansas City Power and Light District last night, in the penultimate show of the second season. The welterweight tournament finals were the main event, but “Boring” “Funky” Ben Askren was part of that matchup, so those nice folks at Bellator tried to put on a good ol’ fashioned, bread and circuses, action packed kind of card. Most of the fighters had an invite to one of next season’s tournaments — conditional upon their performance in KC, MO. What we got was one KTFO, one technical submission, one tap to strikes like a pussy, and…wait, wait, wait, let me start from the beginning. After the jump, allow me to thrill you with my account of the action. And maybe apologize for my can’t miss predictions…

(Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos vs. Marius Zaromskis)

From last night’s event at the Nokia Theatre. Props: ZP840.

(Tim Kennedy vs. Trevor Prangley)

(Props: James Blair-BDog7)

You can call him a loudmouth liar with no heart — damned reality-show editing! — but to me, Jamie Yager was by far the most interesting character on the eleventh season of The Ultimate Fighter. In the Octagon, he kept his opponents guessing with wild high-kicks and a relentless pace. (Not that we don’t love a long, drawn-out, wrestling-based grind.) In the house, he had a way of pushing his fellow fighters’ buttons.

Since he’s still so new to the game, the only non-TUF fight featured in the above highlight reel comes from another reality show, The Iron Ring, which he also appeared on. Unsurprisingly, the video doesn’t include the anti-climactic ending of his fight against Josh Bryant. Can Fro Cop redeem himself at this Saturday’s TUF 11 Finale against Rich Attonito?

After the jump: To get that oily Yager taste out of your mouth, here’s another highlight reel that James Blair did for a more deserving fighter…