Devoted fans of Anderson Silva know that his pro record is 21-4, with three of his losses coming by way of total horseshit — or at least justifiable means. Anybody could be excused for losing their pro debut, and the Spider lost his, by a decision against the very talented Luiz Azeredo at Meca World Vale Tudo 1 (5/27/00). More well-known are his losses to Ryo Chonan (due to a one-in-a-million flying scissor/heel hook) and Yushin Okami (due to a disqualification for an illegal upkick).

There’s really only one true black mark on Silva’s record — his submission loss to Daiju Takase at PRIDE 26 (6/8/03). At the time, Silva was a well-respected 9-1 up-and-comer who held wins over Hayato “Mach” Sakurai, Roan Carneiro, and Carlos Newton. His opponent was an outmatched 4-7-1 can who was being served up to give the promising Chute Boxe fighter another impressive win. But things didn’t go according to the script, with Takase scoring an early takedown, working some GnP, nearly ending the fight with an armlock, then flipping into a triangle choke that forced Silva to tap on his feet.

Takase lost four of his next six fights and faded back into obscurity. Anderson Silva is currently the greatest fighter in the world.

In advance of the May 31st debut of EliteXC’s Saturday Night Fights, CBS has enlisted referee Herb Dean as well as star fighters Nick Diaz and Jake Shields to make a video focusing on what you won’t be seeing during the broadcast. Watch as Diaz demonstrates a textbook soccer kick and piledriver, while Shields contributes a downward elbow and some fence-grabbing. As the announcer says, “Now you’re ready for ‘CBS Saturday Night Fights’.” If you say so, buddy! More must-see videos after the jump.

(Jake O’Brien: Too boring for the UFC? Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

— The debut of Strikeforce on NBC on Saturday night was hindered by a lack of participation by major NBC affiliates. In Houston, Without a Trace aired in the timeslot Strikeforce was supposed to have; in New York there was just a black screen for 30 minutes. Steve Sievert reports that Strikeforce purchased the late night/early morning timeslot from NBC, meaning the show is closer to an infomercial than a network sports broadcast. Hopefully it’ll help harvest some new fans for Strikeforce, because the March 29th Showtime broadcast of “Shamrock vs. Le” only pulled in a 1.2 rating (287,00 viewers), which is lower than Showtime’s viewership for “Street Certified” (1.9) and Shamrock’s previous two headlining fights against Cesar Gracie and Phil Baroni (1.6, 1.7). If you missed Strikeforce on NBC‘s premiere, click here.

— Following the first loss in his eleven-fight career (against Andrei Arlovski at UFC 82), the UFC has cut ties with Jake O’Brien; he had two fights left on his current contract. Reportedly, the UFC simply had too many fighters under contract, and are in the midst of a talent purge. We can only assume that O’Brien’s last three fights, in which he bored audiences with dull wrestling and lay-and-pray tactics, soured his image in the eyes of the UFC top brass. O’Brien’s manager Ken Pavia confirmed that O’Brien has agreed to a two-fight deal with the Palace Fighting Championship organization. “Had we known that his tenure with [the UFC] was at risk when we were presented with the Arlovski fight, we may have approached it differently,” Pavia said. “I don’t think they’ve seen the true Jake. He’s still a kid, and he’s still learning.” Before he joined the UFC, all of O’Brien’s fights ended in first-round KO/TKO victories.

So, we published a list feature on Friday (“The 10 Most Despicable People in MMA”), and reactions were, let’s just say, “mixed.” A lot of you felt that Dana White shouldn’t have been as high as #2, to which we can only reply “Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.” Yes, yes, we’re aware of all the great things he’s done for our sport. But can you think of anybody else in the world of MMA who you’ve bitched about more over the last couple years? We’re particularly bitter about his contempt for the websites and blogs that work harder than any other media outlet to publicize mixed martial arts. Where do you go for MMA coverage — the sports section of your local paper? ESPN2? No, you have to read eRags like CagePotato because the mainstream media doesn’t care about this sport yet. You’d think Dana White would want to show some love to the journalists that actually understand and care about the UFC, but to him we’re part of the Untouchable class. Trust us, if he provided any sort of press privileges to bloggers whatsoever, DW would be #2 on our list of Favorite People in MMA (after Krazy Horse, obvi).

Still, there was one aspect of the list that we definitely did regret the morning after. As commenter “homegrowncone” said:

Wow. I waited all the way till number 1 for Lee Murray only for him to not even get an honourable mention. This list looses all credibility because of that.

We have to admit, that was an oversight. And we’d just like to take this belated opportunity to say that Lee Murray is a despicable scumbag.

(Jason Miller on the unpleasant end of an Army Ranger “stress position.”)

Two new MMA-based television series are being readied for debut — and we’re already liking them better than The Iron Ring and Settle Your Grudge.

— Next Monday through Wednesday at 10 p.m., the mini-series T.O.P. Army Fighter will air on the Military Channel. Each episode features military personnel competing in four-man tournaments — in seven weight classes ranging from flyweight to heavyweight — using modified MMA rules that prohibit knee strikes to the head and leg-locks, among other attacks. The fights will take place in a ring and will employ a scoring system that awards points for things like takedowns and passing guard. Army Ranger and MMA pro Tim Kennedy (IFL, HDNet Fights) will be one of the 28 servicemen competing on the show. Sounds like it could be a bit too complicated for its own good, but hey, it’s fighting on free TV. Now we just have to figure out what the hell the Military Channel is.

— GI vs. Pro, a series where MMA-trained armed services members fight professional mixed martial artists, debuts July 19th on Fox Sports Net. The action will be more traditional than T.O.P. Army Fighter‘s, with each match slated for three five-minute rounds inside a circular cage. The GI team will be led by BodogFIGHT/FCC vet Nick Agallar, while the Pros squad will be led by UFC/KOTC vet Chris Brennan. Both lightweights will face off in a match during the show’s September 13th finale.

— In other MMA-on-TV news, Strikeforce on NBC premieres late this Saturday night at 2 a.m., immediately following Poker After Dark. The first episode will focus on Cung Le, and will include his June 2006 fight with Brian Warren. With that time-slot, how could it not succeed!

(Props: MMAJunkie)

(And boom goes the dynamite. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

According to UFC welterweight Thiago Alves on Monday’s edition of TAGG Radio, Karo Parisyan has come to terms with his sort-of controversial TKO loss at UFC Fight Night 13, which Parisyan immediately protested as soon as he regained his faculties:

“You can look at the replay,” Alves said. “Even I looked at it after the fight. He was out. He fell. He had no reaction at all. I kept punching and punching, and sometimes when you’re out, when you get punched again you wake up. You don’t know what just happened.

“That was [Parisyan's] concern. He thought that nothing happened. ‘Why’d you stop the fight?’ you know? When he saw the replay, even (Parisyan’s coach Randy) Couture was like, ‘You got knocked out.’ After a while, [Parisyan] texted my coach and apologized and everything. Karo’s a great guy.”

Sadly, Karo is probably still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he just lost his highly cherished title shot — which, to hear the guy talk in previous interviews, seemed to be his sole reason for fighting. To add insult to injury, UFC matchmaker Joe Silva all but promised Alves a future crack at the 170-pound belt:

“Right now I heard I’m right behind Jon Fitch,” Alves said. “That’s what Joe Silva told me.”

And I guess that makes sense, except for two things:

Since this morning’s Baszler/Chan viddy was pulled off YouTube in nothin’ flat, here’s another must-see: Gesias “JZ” Calvancante vs. Joe Lauzon in an amateur MMA match that took place I don’t know when and I don’t know where (if you can fill in the blanks, please hit us with the info in the comments section). The fight starts out as a jiu-jitsu chess match — honestly, it looks like the guys are just playing Twister at one point — until Lauzon scores the full mount and rains down some green leather. But JZ reverses the position and the round ends. In the second frame, Calvancante patiently works to Lauzon’s back and slips in the rear-naked choke; Lauzon stands up with JZ on his back, and eventually goes down like a wounded animal. It’s an interesting look back at a time when Joe was just starting out and Gesias wasn’t such a freakin’ beast.

(“We just think this is a smarter fight for Fedor right now.”)

In a comment released through his website M1MixFight.com, Fedor Emelianenko’s manager Vadim Finkelchtein dumped a bucket of cold water directly onto the balls of everyone who started breathing heavy at yesterday’s report of an imminent Fedor/Maine-iac match:

“At the moment we can’t certainly say the bout will take place come July because the contract is not signed. However, the both parties are involved in the negotiation process and we are about to break the finishing tape although we haven’t come to an agreement concerning every detail as of yet”

Vadim, I swear to God, if you fuck this up. Of course, the details they’re still hashing out likely have to do with money and the ring-vs.-cage thing. But the thought of Vadim playing hardball in negotiations when Fedor finally has the chance to face a top-ten heavyweight outside of the UFC is completely infuriating. For all of Finkelchtein/Echteld’s efforts to protect Emelianenko’s value (i.e., ensure he doesn’t take fights he can lose), they don’t seem to realize that Fedor’s value drops further each month that he doesn’t face credible opponents. You gotta give a little, guys! For the record, MMAPayout is reporting that Emelianenko has already been offered over $2 million per fight from Affliction.

But Finkelchtein’s statement wasn’t the only interesting bit posted on M1MixFight this week…

One UFC newcomer we forgot to mention in our post on the UFC 84 lineup was Rousimar “Toquinho” Palhares, a 7-1 Brazilian Top Team fighter who will be facing off against middleweight Ivan Salaverry on the show’s undercard. Five of Palhares’s seven wins have come via first-round submission. To give you a taste of what “Toquinho” is capable of, here are his two fights from a single-night, four-man Fury FC tournament last December, where Palhares defeated Fabio Negao and Daniel Acacio, both by leglock.

Forrest Griffin head-butts football helmets for fun.

(Props MMA on Tap)

Randy Couture may be doing “The Sopranos: Biker Gang” very soon.

Bonus: For a Randy vs. Kurt Angle update, go here.

Sean Hannity weighs in on the controversial subject of kids in MMA. In a nutshell, he’s a giant-sized bag of douche.

(Props BloodyElbow)

And since our posted video of Marcus Aurelio’s armbarring of Ryan Roberts has already been pulled by the UFC, here it is again — until this one is pulled by Dana White, of course.

But let’s be honest. The most important video is after the jump…

If you have nine minutes free, check out this video preview of the two headlining fights at UFC 83 on April 19th: Serra vs. St. Pierre 2 and Franklin vs. Lutter. In a recent CagePotato poll, 82% of you thought St. Pierre will win the main event (a full 60% had him winning specifically by KO/TKO), though we’re pulling for our New York homeboy to keep the belt in the States.

(Unfortunately, his fight with “Da Spyder” won’t be a pick-axe death-match.)

— Fedor Emelianenko recently carried the Olympic torch in St. Petersburg. There were no survivors.

— In a match where the loser may have to re-think their current career path, Kendall Grove and Evan Tanner have been booked to face each other at the Ultimate Fighter 7 finale on June 21st in Las Vegas. Grove, the middleweight winner from the third season of TUF, has dropped back-to-back contests against Patrick Cote and Jorge Rivera, while Tanner has lost three of his last four UFC matches, most recently a second-round KO loss to Yushin Okami at UFC 82. By the way, Tanner’s blog is back up, after being taken down temporarily in the wake of his gambling bender post.

— Kenny Florian will join Mike Goldberg in the broadcast booth at UFC 83 (April 19th, Montreal), filling in for Joe Rogan, who will be unable to attend due to previous obligations. We look forward to a new voice constantly correcting Goldberg, as well as less references to the “rape choke.”

— Kim Couture won her first MMA match on Saturday in Portland, Oregon, taking care of Jessica Cruz via ground-and-pound TKO at 1:43 of the third round. “It was a good fight for Kim because Cruz was scrappy,” Randy Couture said. “You don’t want your first fight to be too easy, but you don’t want to be over your head either. It was a perfect first fight.” Speaking of Randy, he addressed his future in a new interview with MMAMadness, saying “More than likely, I will end up signing with HDNet and Affliction. Realistically, that is the best option.”

— In his first match since his back exploded during Strikeforce at the Dome in February, Joe Riggs will headline Phoenix Fight: Street Justice on April 26 in Halifax, Nova Scotia, facing Mike Gates (5-3-1). Gates is a natural welterweight, and the match will be fought at a catchweight of 180 lbs.

— You know that skinny, nerdy looking new UFC ref who handled the Hamill/Boetsch and Maynard/Edgar fights at UFN 13? Well, apparently he has an open marriage.

(Worst. Pride parade. Ever. Photo courtesy of Tom Casino @ Pro Elite.)

Five fights, five first-round stoppages; last night’s ShoXC Challenger Series card was unquestionably badass. But for our money, the night belonged to Shayna Baszler. With mentor Josh Barnett in her corner, “The Queen of Spades” faced Keiko “Tama Chan” Tamai — who was clownlike in both attire and demeanor — and smoked her, dispatching the outmatched Japanese fighter with a suplex (seriously!), ground-and-pound, and finally a neck crank; maybe the first time we’ve seen that submission since Dan Severn in the mid-’90s. With the win, Baszler improves her pro record to 9-4, with all nine wins coming via submission. After the fight she claimed ownership of EliteXC’s women’s division, and declared she was ready for any challenger to try and prove otherwise. LaRosa and Carano, you’re officially on notice.

Also notable was the fight between undefeated middleweights Matt Lucas and Givanildo Santana, who had previously defeated nine of his ten opponents via armbar, earning him the nickname “The Arm Collector.” You’d think Lucas would be extra careful to avoid the same fate, but like an idiot, he got on top of Santana during the fight, leaned over too far without protecting himself and got snatched up. Make that ten wins by armbar.

Wagnney Fabiano defended his featherweight belt in shocking fashion at Friday night’s IFL event, first blasting out Shad Lierley’s legs with a low kick, then knocking him into last week with an overhand right. The knockout was only his second KO in 11 pro fights; Fabiano won his last five via submission. Action starts at the vid’s 1:40 mark.

(Roger Huerta could be ending his fight-hiatus in August.)

Brief (but important) developments in the world of organized violence…

— MMAMadness has learned from a “very reliable source” that UFC lightweight Roger Huerta will return to the Octagon at UFC 87 (August 9th, Minneapolis), against a yet-unnamed opponent. Could this be related to Kenny Florian’s recent call-out of “El Matador”? If it’s not, Joe Silva can basically go eff himself.

— In his first TUF7 column for Fox Sports, Forrest Griffin reveals that all the fighters were instructed to show up at no heavier than 190 pounds; so that one dude who had to drop 17 in one day only has himself to blame. Also: “I noticed that for the first couple of days ‘Rampage’ was much more funny than me and I was upset by that.”

— Perhaps due to the controversy spurring from last week’s news coverage of kiddie MMA, legislators are seeking to ban children’s MMA competitions in Missouri, the only state where youth matches are allowed. The MO-based youth-MMA organization Freestyle Combat League already requires its fighters to wear head gear and shin guards, and prohibits strikes to the head of a grounded opponent. The head of the FCL, Nathan Orand, says he’ll also be adding chest and stomach protectors for fighters younger than 14, allowing referees to stop a match if they see the danger of a joint injury, and switching from a cage to a ring. Sounds safe enough for our daughter!

— This Portfolio article on Chuck Liddell-as-accountant is notable for the following metaphor: “When I’m watching pre-fight tapes, I’m collecting all my receipts on my opponents, accumulating data,” [Liddell] says. “Once I step into the cage, it’s April 15. Everything is due.”

— MMAJunkie just put up an article evaluating the UFC performance of the 100 fighters featured on the first six seasons of The Ultimate Fighter. Junkie’s rather downbeat assessment: “[O]nly about 20 percent could be generously credited as UFC stars, or even serious contenders in their weight classes…more than half of the “TUF” contestants were unequivocal flops in that they failed to last more than two or three fights with the organization, if even that long.”

— Our buddy Ariel at JarryPark was recently named Editor-in-Chief of MMARated.com (mazel tov, brotha), and just put up a great audio interview with Cung Le, in which the new Strikeforce middleweight champ discusses Frank Shamrock’s trash-talk and his current contract situation with Strikeforce.

— Have a friend you don’t mind getting uncomfortably close with? Then these 10 “Ultimate Fighting” Exercises might be for you…

(Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

DREAM announced today that Gesias “JZ” Calvancante and Shinya Aoki will face each other again at DREAM.2 (April 29th; Saitama, Japan), to decide which fighter will proceed to the second round of its all-star lightweight grand prix. Calvancante and Aoki’s first match, at last month’s DREAM.1, ended in a no-contest after Calvancante landed a series of illegal elbow strikes to the back of Aoki’s neck, and Aoki wasn’t able to continue fighting; Calvancante had been dominating the action up to that point, and many fans speculated that Aoki overplayed his injury in order to escape the fight and avoid a loss.

DREAM.2 will also feature the opening round of a middleweight grand prix that will feature bouts between Denis Kang and Gegard Mousasi, Kiyoshi Tamura and Masakatsu Funaki, and (possibly) Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Andrews Nakahara; Yoshihiro Akiyama and Ikuhisa Minowa are also expected to participate. The winner of the JZ/Aoki battle will have to compete again just two weeks later at DREAM.3 (May 11th; Saitama, Japan) against Katsuhiko Nagata, who defeated Artur Oumakhanov by unanimous decision in the lightweight tourney’s first round. The rest of the lightweight GP’s second-round matchups look like this:

Tatsuya Kawajiri vs. Luis “Buscape” Firmino (note: Kawajiri and Firmino previously met at PRIDE Bushido 8 in July 2005, where Kawajiri won by unanimous decision.)

Mitsuhiro Ishida vs. Caol Uno (note: Uno, a UFC/K-1 Hero’s vet, didn’t compete in the lightweight GP’s first round, and is getting an automatic bye into the second.)

Joachim Hansen vs. Eddie Alvarez (note: Joachim Hansen is a freakin’ beast.)

We should be able to post more UFN 13 fight vids soon, but here’s a couple to tide you over. Check ‘em out quick before they’re pulled.

James Irvin vs. Houston Alexander (fight starts at the 2:02 mark)

Nate Diaz vs. Kurt Pellegrino (fight starts at 1:37; “look fuckers, no hands” choke starts at 9:44)

(Yep, Kenny finishes fights. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

It’s a shame that the UFC couldn’t squeeze a fourth hour out of SpikeTV for last night’s Fight Night broadcast, because the preliminary matches were just as action-packed and stoppage-heavy as the televised card. Some highlights:

— Clay Guida dominated Samy Schiavo, taking the Frenchman down in the middle of the opening round and ground-and-pounding him against the fence until the ref stepped in.
— Marcus Aurelio sent Ryan Roberts to the mat with a right hand directly following the bell, then quickly tapped him with an armbar; the submission victory took just 16 seconds. The win contributed to a 2-1 showing for American Top Team fighters last night, as Thiago Alves defeated Karo Parisyan, and Din Thomas dropped a unanimous decision to Josh Neer.
— Of the three Armenians competing last night, only Manny Gamburyan found a win, finishing Jeff Cox in the first round with a guillotine choke; Karo Parisyan and Roman Mitichyan both suffered second-round TKO losses.

Full results are below:

Main Card
Kenny Florian def. Joe Lauzon via TKO, 3:28 of round 2
Thiago Alves def. Karo Parisyan via TKO, 0:34 of round 2
Gray Maynard def. Frank Edgar via unanimous decision
Matt Hamill def. Tim Boetsch via TKO, 1:25 of round 2
Nate Diaz def. Kurt Pellegrino via submission (triangle choke), 3:06 of round 2
James Irvin def. Houston Alexander via TKO, 0:08 of round 1

Preliminary Card
Josh Neer def. Din Thomas via unanimous decision.
Marcus Aurelio def. Ryan Roberts via submission (armbar), 0:16 of round 1
Manny Gamburyan def. Jeff Cox via submission (guillotine), 1:41 of round 1
Clay Guida def. Samy Schiavo via TKO, 4:15 of round 1
George Sotiropoulos def. Roman Mitichyan via TKO, 2:24 of round 2
Anthony Johnson def. Tommy Speer via TKO, 0:51 of round 1

Some final thoughts…

Case of beer? Check. Piss bucket? Check. Well then, we’re ready to roll! Click the “more” link and refresh the page every few minutes to get the latest updates from the “Bloodbath in Broomfield” (a.k.a. UFN 13).

(Frank Mir poses in front of the world’s ugliest ring girls.)

Some UFC-related notes as we build up to tonight’s four-hour block of awesomeness…

— Josh Koscheck, who recently signed a new multi-fight contract with the UFC, confirmed yesterday that he will be facing Chris Lytle at UFC 86 (July 5th, Las Vegas). “Lights Out” Lytle (25-15-5, 4-7 UFC) has lost to a who’s who of welterweight stars during his time in the Octagon — Matt Hughes, Matt Serra, Robbie Lawler, and Karo Parisyan among them — but may be on the comeback trail after beating the dogshit out of Kyle Bradley at UFC 81.

— Frank Mir and Justin McCully have also been booked for a bout at UFC 86. With the heavyweight class as thin as it is right now, we wouldn’t put it past the UFC to offer Mir an immediate title shot depending on his performance in July; his disposal of Brock Lesnar at “Breaking Point” proved that he could still be a viable contender. McCully won a decision against Antoni Hardonk during his UFC debut last April, and has won his last four fights overall, but the matchup still feels like it’s intended to be a tuneup for the former champion.

— Xyience Inc. was sold yesterday to Manchester Consolidated Corp. for $15 million. According to the Las Vegas Review Journal:

The sale price will cover only part of the secured debt at Xyience, debtor attorney Laurel Davis said after the hearing. As a result, unsecured creditors and stockholders in Xyience will recover none of their money, she said…

Manchester, which submitted the only approved bid, will pay $200,000 in cash and will assume $14.8 million in debt…

Separately, unsecured creditors on Monday filed a lawsuit in federal court, saying the judge should take $14.8 million in assets from the Fertittas for the benefit of Xyience creditors.

In related news, that hot brunette from the Xyience commercials has been spotted wearing a barrel held up by suspenders. Okay, not really, but it’s an amusing image!

(We may never get to witness this historic matchup.)

When we first reported that Gary Goodridge wouldn’t be able to fight Eric Esch at YAMMA 1 because he was focusing on his MFC fight against Eric Pele next month, his crew came out in full force to correct us; Big Daddy was up for it, and was ready to “KICK SOME UGLY ASS.”

Well, we had no idea that Goodridge had another fight booked to go down just two weeks before his scheduled appearance in YAMMA’s Death Bowl. Apparently, he fought Mu Bae Choi in Seoul last Sunday and was knocked out in the second round. (Video can be seen here.) Subsequently, the New Jersey Athletic Control Board informed FiveOuncesOfPain that Goodridge would not be approved for his YAMMA fight due to health and safety concerns.

And it gets better: Yesterday we passed along YAMMA’s official announcement that Mark Kerr will be filling in for Don Frye Patrick Smith against Oleg Taktarov in one of the event’s “Masters Superfights,” but the Kerr/Taktarov match hasn’t been approved either due to Kerr’s previous suspension in the state of Connecticut.

So, unless Bob Meyrowitz can successfully bribe the NJACB to allow Goodridge to fight on April 11th, both of YAMMA’s headlining superfights are now in limbo. Our suggestion to Bob Meyrowitz? Save yourself the headaches and do what Strikeforce did — make the two guys who lost their opponents fight each other. Butterbean vs. Oleg Taktarov isn’t a bad main event, in a county fair sort of way. Or, let Oleg slice his way through the eight-man heavyweight tournament and pull up Ricco Rodriguez to battle Butterbean in New Jersey’s own version of the Megaton. Look, your fighting surface is a freakin’ bowl — don’t act like your credibility is at risk.

(GIS result for “props.”)

If you checked out CagePotato yesterday, you may have thought to yourself “Why does it seem like a legitimately talented professional writer has started doing these posts?” Well, there’s a reason for that, and it has nothing to do with wacky April Fool’s Day shenanigans. Truth is, I was moving to a new apartment across the East River, and was without a dependable Internet connect until just now. Gracefully, our friend Ben Fowlkes stepped up to help with a few posts, and I just wanted to give him some public recognition. So thanks, Ben. If you were otherwise occupied yesterday, here’s some of the stuff that you missed:

Exclusive Interview: Ben Rothwell Talks Adrenaline MMA and More

Bob Sapp Mentioned In Connection With BALCO Steroid Case. Get Your Surprised Face On.

In other news, UFC Fight Night 13 kicks off at 7 p.m. tonight on SpikeTV, and I’ll be putting up some live results and commentary during the show. I don’t know if it’ll be a full-blown liveblog at this point — it’s on free TV, after all — but it’ll be something, so come by and share your thoughts with the most loving and welcoming MMA community on the web.

We now return you to your usual level of amateurism…

(ABC Wide World of Sports’s “Agony of Defeat” skier: The ’70s version of Anderson Silva’s thai clinch.)

With EliteXC readying its blockbuster cards on CBS and Strikeforce getting some late-night love from NBC, the UFC is running out of major networks to sign with. But if the latest “informed speculation” turns out to be true, we could eventually see some Octagon fights on ABC. MMAPayout passes along this unconfirmed report:

The UFC and ESPN are discussing a potential strategic partnership. Representatives from each company reportedly met for what were described as extensive discussions last week in New York and Bristol, Connecticut. While Spike is the official cable home of the UFC, there is no longer an ABC Sports division, only ESPN on ABC, leading to speculation that such a partnership could lead to live events on ABC.

Screw creative control: If I’m Dana White, I’m going to do everything in my power to make this happen, “gladiator intro” be damned. Because if ABC gets snatched up by some other fight club, then the UFC is basically locked out of network television. Now is the time to make a deal. Pull back the ego a little bit and make it happen.

Semi-related: I just realized that I can’t name any show that’s currently airing on ABC. For my benefit, please post a comment with the name of a series that’s on that network — without consulting Wikipedia. Caller number nine gets a pair of tickets to see Blue Oyster Cult at the Rock-o-Rama.

…and now we have video proof. Our favorite parts?

1) “You ripped it up lookin’ for guns, well, I got ‘em. And I’m gonna beat you with ‘em.”
2) The theme song (0:45-1:13), which makes “Jesus Didn’t Tap” sound like The Low End Theory. “The grudge is some guy, who just wouldn’t quit / A heated argument, over some buullll / such.”
3) Officer Carter’s compulsive finger-counting.
4) “They have a gruuzh, they wanna settle.”

In related news, it was announced last week that Tito Ortiz’s grudge-settling show, Anytown Beatdown, will be produced for the G4 cable network.

Previously: The Strange, Sad Case of ‘Called Out’ (a.k.a. ‘Settle Your Grudge’) (a.k.a. ‘Fight It Out’)

By CagePotato Special Contributor Brian Knapp

Clay Guida had Roger Huerta reeling. Up two rounds to none in their main event showdown at the Ultimate Fighter 6 live finale in December, Guida could have taken his foot off the gas and coasted to a decision victory. No one would have blamed him. Instead, he hit the throttle.

Early in round three, Huerta rocked a shooting Guida with a jarring left knee, and the pendulum swung in his favor. Huerta took his dazed opponent’s back soon after and secured a rear-naked choke for the tapout. Their memorable bout — a strong candidate for best fight of the year — ended 10:31 after it began. Huerta was reduced to tears afterwards. Guida went back to the drawing board.

“It was an honor to be a part of that fight; Roger’s a warrior,” Guida says. “I think he and I are very similar. He fights with a lot of heart and passion, and people know when they come to watch us, they’re not going to see a lackluster fight.”

As has been his custom, Guida made certain he had nothing left to give inside the cage. The free-spirited Chicagoan vows to learn from the mistakes he made.

“I was up 2-0 and got clipped,” he says. “I learned from every exchange, from every opportunity I missed. It’s not always about the outcome. I missed six or seven chances to end that fight.”

Guida returns to the Octagon on Wednesday, when he meets French UFC newcomer Samy Schiavo at Ultimate Fight Night 13 at the Broomfield Event Center in Broomfield, Colo. The lightweight tilt will take place on the preliminary portion of the 12-fight card, which airs on Spike TV (7pm ET/PT) and leads into the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter 7.

“I want to start off the year right with a decisive victory,” Guida says. “He’s coming into my cage, and I’m going to send him back to the doghouse. We’ll see how I bounce back. We’ll see on Wednesday what I learned from my fight with Roger.”

…and by “wacky” we mean “morbidly obese.” Pics of DEEP’s Megaton Grand Prix from gbring.com via Fightlinker.

(Even CondomDepot wouldn’t sponsor these guys.)

(Let me guess…former Korean baseball player?)

(As in, “I need one to find my dick.”)

(Bitch-titty keylock!)

(“Holy fuck are you ugly.”)

(In fairness, he was actually aiming for the guy’s fupa.)

(“DEEP: A Judgment-Free Zone.”)

(“Pweeeeez?” Drew Fickett and Jae Suk Lim, courtesy of Sherdog.)

While you were professing your love for big girls…

— The current frontrunner for the role of Guy Kimbo Slice Will KTFO on EliteXC’s First CBS Show is [drumroll...] James Thompson? According to Sam Caplan, EliteXC was trying to book Ron “H20 Man” Waterman for their May 31st jump-off, but a deal could not be reached, and they started talking to “The Colossus.” Thompson has been knocked out three times in his last four fights, most recently at the hands of Brett Rogers at EliteXC: Street Certified. Seasoned ground specialist Waterman would have been a much more credible opponent for Slice, but EliteXC can’t really be faulted for setting up a guaranteed KO for their most marketable asset in their first network broadcast. I’ve already set the betting line for this one: Kimbo Slice (-15,500) v. James Thompson (+12,000). So if you have fifteen grand and want to pick up an easy Benjamin, go for it.

— Dana White’s craftiness is boundless. On the same day that Tim Sylvia was set to announce his release from the UFC and desire to pursue a fight with Fedor Emelianenko, the UFC prez announced that he’d be renewing his efforts to sign Emelianenko to the UFC. As White said: “We want to make the fights the people want to see…We’ll see what we can do as far as (signing Emelianenko) goes.” We tend to think that previous insults will prevent Emelianenko and his managers from ever dealing with the UFC again, but signing Fedor would both provide current heavyweight champ Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira with an opponent (are there any contenders left in that division?) while blocking another UFC refugee (Tim Sylvia this time) from getting a fight with Emelianenko. It’s gotta be worth a shot.

— This guy caused a minor shitstorm on Sherdog by passing on a rumor that Saturday’s Shamrock/Le fight was a planned work, intended to set up a three-part rubber match. B.S.? Obviously. But the thing that gives the “work” theory a scrap of believability is that dramatic leg sweep in the third round. Watch it again: We understand why Le let Shamrock get up afterwards — why risk going to the ground if you’re dominating on the feet? — but would Frank actually turn his back on Le for that long while getting up unless he knew he wasn’t going to get pounced on? And how about Frank’s kick that set up the sweep? Have you ever seen such a half-assed front kick thrown in a pro MMA match? It’s like it was meant to be caught…

Round 1:

Round 2:

Round 3 (demoralizing leg sweep at the 2:25 mark; arm-breaking leg-kick at 4:57, Cung’s meddlesome girlfriend at 7:30):

UPDATE: The round 3 vid has been taken down. You can watch the whole fight here.

Final thought: Remember that stuff about Frank not being dumb enough to stand and trade with a superior striker? We will never doubt the stupidity of any member of the Shamrock clan ever again; that’s a promise. And so goes the last remaining shred of marketability for Blood Brothers…

(The Good, the Bad, and the Leathery.)

Cyborg, Shields, and Mean Mr. Munchies may be M.I.A., but tomorrow night’s EliteXC/Strikeforce show still has some very compelling match-ups going for it, including a main event that will pit the fan-hyped Cung Le against the self-hyped Frank Shamrock in a middleweight championship bout. You can catch the action on Showtime starting at 9 p.m. ET/PT. Here’s what the televised lineup looks like…

Shamrock vs. Le (for Strikeforce middleweight title)
Frank (24-8-1) has talked his usual trash about how he’s going to spank the relatively inexperienced Le (5-0), but trust us, it’s only for promotional purposes; Shamrock isn’t dumb enough to actually believe he’ll be cruising through an easy one tomorrow, and unlike his brother Ken, he’s not dumb enough to stand and trade with a superior striker. Le has the most devastating kicks in MMA right now, and he ended his last fight — against Sam Morgan last November — via the ultra-rare body-kick KO. But like other fighters who come from a kickboxing background, Le’s long-range kicks often leave him open for single-leg takedowns, and Shamrock could capitalize. He’ll certainly be looking to take the fight to the ground when the moment is right and finish Le by submission, and we think Shammy will succeed in the second or third round. If they really wanted to make this one interesting, the loser would have to accept eternal banishment from San Jose.

Drew Fickett vs. Jae Suk Lim (welterweights)
A.k.a., “The Battle of the Guys Who Were Supposed to Be Fighting Other Guys.” Rage in the Cage/UFC vet Drew Fickett (32-5) has choked out fighters like Josh Koscheck, Kurt Pellegrino, and Carlo Prater, and has generally faced much tougher competition than “The Korean Icepick” (9-3), who spent most of his career in Spirit MC. We’re loving Lim’s nickname, but it’s not going to help him much against the far-more-experienced Arizona native. Both men hadn’t been preparing to face each other, so it’s a bit of a wash, but judging from how Fickett’s done against guys with Lim’s skill level, we’d say a first-round submission victory is nearly inevitable.

8. Tito Ortiz’s grave-digger routine

We don’t know how many times Tito must have practiced this thing in the mirror at home — but you have to admit it was pretty badass the first time you saw it. To be figuratively buried under the Octagon is the pinnacle of pwnage.

7. Phil Baroni’s soliloquy
A CagePotato favorite. And we quote: “I’m the best! I’m the best eva! I’m the fuckin’ best! I’m the man! I’m the man! I’m the man! [unintelligible], you’re next! I’m the man! I’m the best eva! Eva! I’m the man! Yeaaaaahhh! Yeaaaahhhh! I’m the best! I told you.”

(tie) 6. B.J. Penn can’t stop kissing Matt Hughes

We could have sworn smooching was outlawed back at UFC 15, along with headbutting, small-joint manipulation and hair-pulling. But nevertheless, B.J. Penn leaned over and planted a big wet one on Matt Hughes after stealing his welterweight belt at UFC 46, then did it again once Hughes was able to get to his feet. As a repressed Christian farmboy, the incident may have brought up some latent desires in Matt that he wasn’t quite ready to deal with.

(tie) 6. “B.J. Penn is leaving the building!”
Sometimes you get overwhelmed with emotion; sometimes you just really need to take a dump.