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Tag: MMA

Karo Parisyan Suspended, Fined, Stripped of Last Win, and Told “Good Day” by NSAC

Karo Parisyan UFC 94 MMA Dong Hyun Kim Josh Rosenthal
(Parisyan was also "strongly encouraged" to get an eyebrow-wax. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

It seems like our earlier post on today’s Penn/St. Pierre NSAC hearing contained a bit of foreshadowing. Yes, fights in Nevada can be overturned if one of the fighters was using banned substances, and Karo Parisyan just learned that the hard way. "The Heat" was busted last month after testing positive for three different painkillers following his three-round snoozer with Dong Hyun Kim at UFC 94. Well, the verdict has finally come down, and Parisyan has been nailed with a nine-month suspension, a $32,000 fine (40% of his total purse), and the official voiding of his split-decision victory against Kim. That fight will now be known as a "no decision," which means that Kim is still technically undefeated. As Sherdog reports:

Parisyan, who was not represented by legal counsel at the hearing, pleaded for leniency before the commission after he admitted his guilt. “This is my only form of income,” Parisyan said. “If I don’t fight, I’m nothing. I’m very, very sorry. It was completely unintentional. This is embarrassing for me.” …
 
Commissioner John Bailey reacted sternly to Parisyan, both for his use of pain pills that had not been prescribed and his failure to disclose use on the questionnaire. “[The commission has] to know what’s going on with you,” Bailey said. “You just decided to not be truthful on a pre-fight questionnaire. We can’t have fighters drifting in and out of reality."
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Video: Arianny Celeste’s “Hometown Hotties” Profile


(Props: MMA Videos)

Above is Octagon Girl Arianny Celeste’s video profile for the Maxim “Hometown Hotties” contest.  She was a finalist but, sadly, she didn’t win.  Top ten ain’t bad, though, especially when it seems like she should kind of be ineligible for a ‘hot girls next door’ type contest when she is, in fact, a professional hot girl (a really hot professional hot girl), as Joe Rogan likes to point out.  

As we learn in this video, Arianny isn’t afraid to hit a bitch, she wants to record some “rock/pop” songs in the future, and she would like to see herself in film.  There’s also a bizarre little segment where she gets out of a pool dripping wet, which is a good start, and then proceeds to pour a bottle of water on herself.  Seems like someone got the order wrong in their list of things for hot girls in bikinis to do, but we can’t really complain about the end result.

After the jump, the rarely-seen fourth Octagon girl.

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Rogers Gets an Opponent, Kimbo to Flee MMA for Boxing

A little over a year ago an improbable but potentially beautiful rivalry was born when Brett Rogers stepped up to the podium at an EliteXC post-fight press conference to inform Kimbo Slice that his performance against James Thompson was “garbage.”  This led to the infamous, ‘Rogers, you a hater!’ melee, and left most of us assuming that EliteXC would match these two big men up against one another they first chance they got in order to capitalize on the heat.

But what we failed to take into account was that EliteXC was run by morons, so that fight didn’t happen.  Now Rogers is getting back into action on April 11, and FiveOuncesofPain reports that his opponent will be Ron Humphries (5-0) who supposedly fought on that “Iron Ring” show on BET that I didn’t watch beyond the first episode.

So all right, not exactly a marquee matchup, but maybe they plan to build Rogers and Kimbo back up again and then throw them in the mix together later on, right?  Maybe, but Kimbo seems to have other ideas.

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Heads Up: NSAC to Review ‘Lubrigate’ Today

Phil Nurse Georges St. Pierre Greg Jackson UFC
(The greasing heard ’round the world. Photo courtesy of NBC Sports.)

Following repeated arguments from BJ Penn that Georges St. Pierre‘s cornermen improperly used vaseline during their UFC 94 fight in January, the Nevada State Athletic Commission will meet today in Las Vegas at 9 a.m. PT to discuss what action, if any, should be taken against Phil Nurse and Greg Jackson.

Though Penn wants the fight to be changed to a no-contest, that scenario is unlikely; as NSAC executive director Keith Kizer explained to Sherdog, an MMA bout in Nevada can only be ruled a no-contest after the fact if scorecards were added incorrectly, if a referee or judge was paid off to influence the fight, if the referee misinterpreted a rule that effected the fight’s outcome, or if there was the use of non-approved drugs or steroids. Kizer explained that the actual purpose of today’s hearing was to prevent controversial greasing situations from happening in the future:

“What I see happening is something along these lines: a very strict warning to Phil, a warning to everybody that there’s no place for this, and maybe something [determined] along the lines that every corner can have one designated Vaseline guy and that guy can not touch the fighter anywhere else on his body, except for his face, until the end of the fight."
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Quick Hits: Griffin/Silva at UFC 101, Maynard Signs with Everlast, + More


(Dana White does the hard sell on TUF 9.  Props: Cage Writer)

Forrest Griffin and Thiago Silva are expected to get back in action against one another at the still officially unannounced UFC 101 event in August that will feature a Randy Couture/Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira main event.  With both Griffin and Silva coming off losses this is one of those wonderful situations where somebody has to turn things around while someone else has to drop two straight and then reevaluate his life and career.  All signs point to the event taking place in Portland, OR. – also known as the town with best strip clubs in America.  Count us in.

– Since he apparently thinks he’s a boxer now, I suppose it’s only fitting that Gray Maynard inked a sponsorship deal with Everlast MMA.  Maynard’s pounded-flat mug is even going to be the focal point for an ad campaign, so I guess it pays to abandon all your wrestling training and beat guys up on the feet.  Does it pay to make a decision-machine like Maynard your poster boy?  Everlast will find out, possibly the hard way.

Sean Sherk thinks he’s in line for the next lightweight title shot if he beats Frankie Edgar at UFC 98, and he expects that the belt will still be around B.J. Penn’s waist after he faces Kenny Florian.  Drawing on his experience fighting both men, Sherk says Penn “has pretty much every advantage” in a bout with Florian.  That might be whitewashing Penn’s conditioning issues a little too much, but what do you expect from Sherk, who just assumes everybody is out there doing caveman training every day.

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Jenna Jameson Gives Birth to Two Lil’ Tito’s


(Replicating themselves at a frightening pace.)

Porn actress Jenna Jameson gave birth to twin boys in Newport Beach, California today, ensuring that Tito Ortiz’s genetic line will march proudly on into the future.  If you’re like me, you are now imagining two infants with gigantic heads like their father and vacant, surgically weirded-out eyes like their mother.  Adorable.

We already hypothesized that any children to come out of the unholy Ortiz-Jameson union would have the potential to be serious bad-asses, since their father is a world famous fighter and their mother is a world famous fornicator.  You just have to imagine that some fights will erupt on the playground once the other kids know enough to make fun of this unique parentage.  I mean, I grew up with a kid whose mom was the school lunch lady and he had to defend her honor on more than one occasion. 

Now imagine if instead of serving up soggy tater tots in a hair net, your mom was blowing dudes while a midget watched, and the video was readily available on the internet.

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Strikeforce Bringing Back Brett Rogers, Kim Couture


(Rogers vs. Murphy at EliteXC: Primetime, 5/31/08)

With a proposed fight between Jake Shields and Joe Riggs scrapped from Strikeforce’s April 11th event due to Shields being tapped to headline their May show, there was a spot that needed to be filled on the "Shamrock vs. Diaz" supporting card. FiveOuncesofPain reports that EliteXC vet Brett Rogers has been asked to step in against an opponent to be named soon. Rogers’s return to competition will come nearly a year after his last fight — a 61-second knockout of Jon Murphy (see above) in the first live MMA fight on network television.

Following that match, the undefeated Team Bison product called out Kimbo Slice for his garbage-ass performance (which led to a brief Internet trash-talk war), and was supposed to take on Paul Buentello at an EliteXC event in November. Unfortunately, the promotion fell apart before that event could take place and Rogers has been inactive since. Whoever gets the Grim next month had better protect his neck — all eight of Rogers’s wins have come by stoppage due to strikes in the first round.

MMA Fanhouse adds that Randy‘s third wife Kim "Sugar Free" Couture will be returning to the Strikeforce cage for their May show, also against Unknown Fighter. When we last saw Kim, she was kicking the tar out of Lina Kvokov at Strikeforce: Destruction in November. It was later discovered that Kvokov was actually a spectator who had mistakenly entered the cage on the way to the bathroom. But hey, a win is a win, and Couture’s first-round TKO increased her pro-record to 1-1. As for the real star of women’s MMA, Gina Carano, she and Strikeforce are still in negotiations, with league boss Scott Coker recently comparing her to a contract hold-out at a pre-season training camp. That’s…encouraging?

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The Five Best Referees in MMA

#5: Josh Rosenthal

(Nick Diaz vs. Thomas Denny @ EliteXC: Unfinished Business, 7/26/08)

With his trademark half-smirk during faceoffs and soft-spoken vibe, Josh Rosenthal brings some much-needed positive energy to the mean-muggin’ atmosphere of MMA. And though his stoppage in the first Chael Sonnen/Paulo Filho fight at WEC 31 drew controversy — in the eyes of Sonnen, at least — he’s one of those guys you rarely hear about because he just does his job in a quiet, dependable sort of way. Could 2009 be Rosenthal’s breakout year?

#4: Mario Yamasaki

(Tito Ortiz vs. Chuck Liddell 2 @ UFC 66, 12/30/06)

Mario Yamasaki fell into the referee gig when a UFC trip to Brazil (where Yamasaki was born) highlighted their need for another ref in addition to Big John McCarthy.  Since he was a lifelong martial arts enthusiast and jiu-jitsu expert, Yamasaki was a good fit.  His biggest problem as a ref might be that he looks a little too much like Steve Mazzagatti, and that can be a career-killer.  The difference is that Yamasaki gives fighters a chance to recover, but also knows when to stop a bout (despite maybe one or two notable exceptions, depending on who you ask), as he did when he mercifully ended the second Tito Ortiz-Chuck Liddell fight – a decision he was criticized for by Ortiz, and no one else.

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Five Things I Want to See From TUF: U.S. vs. U.K.


(Props: MMA Fanhouse.)

I admit it, after watching the above promo video for season nine of Spike TV’s “The Ultimate Fighter,” I’m excited.  Maybe the hokey “It’s U.S. Against Them” tagline is working on me, or maybe (probably) I’m just a sucker for The Sex Pistols.  

Regardless, the part of me that wants to believe fighters when they blame positive steroid tests on totally legit nutritional supplements also wants to believe that TUF can be fun again.  And who knows, maybe exploiting nationalistic loyalties and hilarious cultural differences (just wait until the first time a Brit fighter talks about smoking fags) is the perfect solution for the stale formatting and predictable antic-heavy presentation.  With that in mind, here are the five things I’d like to see from “The Ultimate Fighter” this time around:

1. Don’t Make Me Feel Bad About Myself For Watching This

Look, Spike TV producers.  I’m a male between the ages of 18-34, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch grown men drink one another’s urine.  In fact, when I find myself watching a show that is ostensibly about fighting, and yet the bulk of the episode is dedicated to the ingestion of bodily fluids, I start to question some of the decisions I’ve made that have brought me to this point.  It’s the same with property destruction.  We’ve seen it.  There isn’t any new ground to break (pun intended).  Please, let’s grow up a little and move on.

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Good News: UFC Plans Fan Expo for UFC 100; Bad News: It’s Going to Cost You


(Please just tell me there’s a dancing seminar by Gono.)

The UFC sent out an email today announcing their first ever UFC Fan Expo around UFC 100 in Las Vegas this summer.  It includes training demos, autotgraph sessions, and “keynote addresses,” possibly from Dana White and/or Lorenzo Fertitta (though details on anything are very sketchy at the moment).  Basically, a lot of fun stuff for UFC fans in the days leading up to what is supposed to be the biggest UFC event to date.  Sounds great.

The trouble is, you have to buy a ticket, and they aren’t cheap.  You can get a two-day pass for $50 if you buy in advance, or a one-day pass for $30.  This way the UFC gets you to pay for the fights, whether you watch them live or on pay-per-view, and also gets you to pay for some idle entertainment before the fights, like watching Matt Hughes demonstrate how he choked out Frank Trigg’s pompous ass, or listening to Dana White swear his way through a speech about professionalism and ethics in business. 

Okay, those things would both be worth paying for.

If you’re headed to Vegas for UFC 100 you should a) put aside some money to buy me a beer at the Hofbrauhaus, and b) keep an eye on this website for Expo information.  It doesn’t offer much help at the moment since they just announced it, but the last question on the Frequently Asked Questions list is worth a chuckle:

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