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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: MMA

Ken Shamrock Slapped With One-Year Suspension After Positive Steroid Test

Such is the sad life of Ken Shamrock — even when he manages to snap a five-fight losing streak by submitting a morbidly obese man with no submission defense or the ability to get to his feet after he’s fallen to the mat, he still had to cheat in order to do it. Kevin Iole passes along the bad (though fairly unsurprising) news:

The [California State Athletic] commission announced Shamrock’s suspension and $2,500 fine on Wednesday for testing positive for 19-Norandrosterone, 19- Noretiocholanolone and Stanozolol following his first-round victory over Ross Clifton.
 
Shamrock is slated to fight ex-World Wrestling Entertainment star Bobby Lashley in the co-main event of a March 21 MMA/boxing card in Pensacola, Fla. That fight is almost certainly now not going to happen as a result of Shamrock’s suspension. States are required to honor each other’s suspensions, which means that Florida would not allow Shamrock to fight while under suspension in Calfornia…
 
Shamrock’s suspension runs through Feb. 1, 2010, at which point he would be 10 days shy of his 46th birthday and would not have fought in almost a year.

Well hey, it looks like his brother Frank was right all along. But of course, nobody in this sport actually takes steroids — they simply take legal supplements that happen to secretly have steroids in them. And Ken is hoping that this dependable defense will keep him out of hot water:

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Cage Potato Is Officially “Hype-Worthy”


(This is the point where we become so proud of ourselves as to be intolerable.)

The good (and obviously brilliant) people over at AskMen.com have compiled a list of the top ten hype-worthy websites that will blow up in 2009.  And wouldn’t you know it, Cage Potato clocked in at number six.  It’s about time we made a top ten list that wasn’t created by our parents as a ruse to cheer us up when we’re sick.

And #6 is not bad, though it does contradict the “We’re #1!” t-shirts we had made at the mall.  The good news is that we came in ahead of sites like Fanhouse.com (#10, so take that, MDS), and Consumerist.com (#8), while getting edged out by noteworthy competitors like TheDailyBeast.com (#5) and TheOnion.com (#2).  We can live with that result…for now. 

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Evans vs. Machida Official for UFC 98


(Dana White tries to convince Quinton Jackson to fight Rashad Evans at UFC 98, following Rampage’s decision win over Keith Jardine last Saturday. Video courtesy of WatchKalibRun via TheGarv.)

SportsIllustrated has confirmed that former UFC light-heavyweight champion Quinton "Rampage" Jackson has turned down the opportunity to challenge Rashad Evans for the 205-pound title at UFC 98 (May 23rd, Las Vegas), due to the short turnaround and his lingering injuries. Taking his place will be Lyoto Machida, the undefeated — and virtually untouchable — Brazilian contender who most recently knocked out Thiago Silva at UFC 94 in January. Evans vs. Machida is the official main-event replacement for Mir vs. Lesnar, which was scrapped from the card thanks to Mir’s bum knee.

"Sugar" and "The Dragon" are very similar on paper. Both are undefeated in 14 professional fights — Evans is 13-0-1, while Machida is 14-0. Both have gone the distance in the majority of their UFC appearances, but are coming off of dramatic stoppage victories. And they have three opponents in common: Tito Ortiz (who Machida beat by unanimous decision last May and Evans drew with in 2007), Stephan Bonnar (who Machida won a cut-stoppage TKO over in 2003 and Evans beat via majority decision in 2006) and Sam Hoger (who Machida defeated by unanimous decision in 2007 and Evans took a split decision over in 2006).

Evans/Machida may not turn out to be Fight of the Year — we’re expecting more of a cautious and technical match than a thrilling one — but it’s also not the easiest fight to predict, which makes it compelling. Will Evans and the Team Jackson camp be able to come up with a gameplan that solves the confounding riddle of Lyoto Machida? Will Machida still look invincible against a true top-of-the-food chain light-heavyweight? 

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TapouT’s Charles “Mask” Lewis Reportedly Dies in Car Accident; Driver Arrested

Charles Lewis Mask TapouT MMA
(Photo courtesy of thespec.com)

We really hope this isn’t true, but the chatter is not good. By now it’s been confirmed. From RingleaderFightNews:

Newport Beach CA — Fox News 11 L.A. reported that a red Ferrari split in half as it slammed into a light pole in Newport Beach today, killing the driver and injuring a passenger. The accident on southbound Jamboree Road near Camelback Street occurred just before 1 a.m., according to a Newport Beach Police Department lieutenant…
The impact of the crash broke the car in half and left the front portion of the high-performance Italian sports car crushed by the light pole. "It apparently was traveling at a high rate of speed, and it left the roadway, hit the curb, took out a light pole, and … someone is deceased in the vehicle and we don’t know who that person is at this particular time," Newport Beach police Lt. Steven Shulman told ABC7 at the crash site.
 
An unnamed source has told Ringleadfightnews.com that the deceased driver was TapouT Crew member and part owner of the multi-million dollar company, “Mask.” The information could not be verified and is still speculation at this point.
 
Police Lt. Steven Shulman told Fox News 11, "the coroner will identify that person, notify the family, and hopefully the passenger that we believe was in the vehicle will survive the injuries and we will find out a little bit more at that point."
 
A second victim was taken to a hospital following the accident, a Newport Beach Fire Department dispatch supervisor said. Her condition was not immediately reported. The injured victim was a female passenger who was ejected in the crash, On Scene reported.
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Yes, the UFC Likes Strikeforce. No, Not Enough to Leave Them Completely Alone


(‘Let’s see how you like going up against a greased up Canadian and Lyoto Machida, you f*ckers.  I promise you it isn’t as much fun as it sounds.’)

Though he’s been uncharacteristically complimentary of Scott Coker’s Strikeforce operation, even after their move into the big time with the purchase of select Pro Elite assets, that doesn’t mean Dana White is content to let them operate free from any UFC interference.  When Strikeforce makes its Showtime debut with Diaz-Shamrock on April 11, the UFC will pull one of its favorite counter-programming tactics, running a popular recent pay-per-event for free on Spike TV the same night.

Strikeforce will go up against UFC 94, as Dana White and Co. attempt to draw fans away from the competing organization with the main event that made “Vaseline” a popular keyword term for MMA websites everywhere.  If anybody’s up for that challenge, it’s probably Frank Shamrock and Nick Diaz, who will say enough crazy things in the run-up to the bout to make you forget all about crazy things of the past.

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B.J. Penn Files Formal Complaint, Wants GSP Fined, Suspended, and Showered


(He will litigate to the death, and he is not joking about this.)

Well, he finally went and did it.  After weeks of less structured, though more entertaining gripes and accusations, UFC lightweight champ B.J. Penn and his camp have filed a formal complaint with the Nevada State Athletic Commission against welterweight champ Georges St Pierre.

The Penn camp filed a twenty-page document (so take that Jackson camp, with your puny seventeen pages) detailing the complaint and outlining the consequences they’d like to see.  And what are those consequences?  You know the usual.  They just want to see GSP, his trainers, and other as of yet unnamed parties fined $250,000, have the bout result changed to a no contest, suspend the licenses of GSP, Phil Nurse, and Greg Jackson, and force GSP to undergo pre-fight showers.  Basically just the regular old stuff.

The complaint also accuses St. Pierre of “ingesting a substance” to make his body especially slippery before the fight.  It makes us wish the formal hearing really does happen so we can hear Penn’s lawyer accuse GSP of drinking baby oil, and then hear GSP’s lawyer counter that baby oil is considered a delicacy in certain French-Canadian circles.

It’s in your hands now, NSAC.  Please do something and put an end to this epic paperwork war. 

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Exclusive Interview: NY Assemblyman Rob Walker — Our Man in Long Island

Rob Walker New York State Assembly Committee MMA
(Photo courtesy of Newsday.)

Great news, fight fans — we now officially know more New York State Assemblymen who support the regulation of MMA in New York than those who are against it.

A lifelong resident of Long Island, Rob Walker has been a member of the New York State Assembly since 2005 and currently sits on the Assembly Committee for Tourism, Arts, and Sports Development. And like our friend Jonathan Bing, Walker is a co-sponsor of the bill to lift the MMA ban in New York. We called Assemblyman Walker at his office yesterday to discuss the public support for MMA in Long Island and why it’s finally time for New York State to say "yes" to safe, sanctioned competition.

***

CAGEPOTATO.COM: How did you become involved with the Tourism, Arts and Sports Development Committee?
ROB WALKER: Prior to my election, I was the deputy commissioner of parks in the town of Oyster Bay, so it was just logical that when they handed out committee assignments, I’d wind up on the committee that oversees parks, recreation and tourism. I took my role in local government and brought it to the State Legislature.

What initially drew you to the MMA regulation issue?
First and foremost, I actually have some constituents and friends that have been fighting in New Jersey and everywhere else, and they brought it to my attention that we can’t even hold events because it’s not sanctioned in New York State. So that was the first knowledge I had of the sport, and then with the bill that was coming out last year we got more intimately involved and gained some more knowledge of what it’s about. We’re just trying to learn all we can before we take some action.

Why is it a good time to finally lift the ban on MMA in New York?
I think there are a couple reasons. First, the economic advantages are quite apparent. And it’s also what we’re competing against — New York is competing against many states that border it, and we’re losing out. Our residents are going across state lines to compete, and why should New York be one of five or six states that don’t allow participation in MMA? What’s ironic about this bill is that it’s not even demanding that the athletic commission remove the ban; we’re simply giving the athletic commission the ability to go in and see if they want to provide sanctions.

What do you think of Assemblyman Bob Reilly’s arguments that MMA would breed more violence in society, and that it would be economically harmful to New York?

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UFC 96′s Best Photos

Pete Sell Matt Brown UFC 96 MMA

Props to UFC.com, MMAWeekly, Sherdog, and CombatLifestyle.

Joe Rogan Columbus MMA UFC 96 Patt Brandon Vera UFC 96 MMA Patt Brandon Vera UFC 96 MMA Kendall Grove Jason Day UFC 96 MMA Gray Maynard Jim Miller UFC 96 MMA Matt Hamill Mark Munoz UFC 96 MMA Matt Hamill Mark Munoz MMA UFC 96 Matt Hamill UFC 96 MMA Matt Brown Pete Sell UFC 96 MMA Matt Brown Pete Sell UFC 96 Pete Sell UFC 96 MMA Keih Jardine Quinton Rampage Jackson UFC 96 MMA Keith Jardine Quinton Rampage Jackson MMA UFC 96 Quinton Rampage Jackson Rashad Evans UFC 96 MMA face-off Shane Carwin UFC 96 MMA Miguel Torres Mike Goldberg MMA UFC

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Aleks Emelianenko Leaves Red Devil, Continues to Pretend That He Can Fight in America


(‘I drink gypsy potion during full moon.  Hepatitis gone now.  Is fine.’)

In a statement posted by Dream Fighters, Aleksander Emelianenko announced that he has left Russia’s Red Devil team under what he claims are amicable circumstances.  Of course, he also goes on to claim that he will soon be fighting in America again, so maybe we shouldn’t believe everything we read here:

I will say right away that there was no conflict between us. I asked the club president Vadim Filkenstein to remove all contractual obligations from me connecting me to “Red Devil”, as well as their obligations for me. Vadim was not against this. But we have also agreed, that as a promoter he will still offer me to participate in some events and fights, and I will review those offers. I asked Vadim to put me down for the next Affliction event, which will happen in the Summer, since I have the contract with Americans for three fights. Currently there is no concrete answer, since it is not yet known when exactly this event will take place, and who will be participating. But nothing is interfering with me fighting on such a big show in America.

Nothing is interfering with you fighting in America, Aleks?  Not even the California State Athletic Commission refusing to license you and then vowing that no other commission in the country would do so either?  Any of that ring a bell?

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Shane Carwin: A Man in Need of a Nickname


(I know, tons of words rhyme with Shane, but let’s think this through.)

There’s a discussion brewing in our forums right now, begun by user LuketheDuke, with the goal of finding a suitable nickname for UFC heavyweight Shane Carwin.  Luke is right, here.  Carwin doesn’t have a nickname (that we know of — maybe he’s keeping it a secret?), and after knocking out Gabriel Gonzaga and cracking the all-important top ten in the Cage Potato Power Rankings, the time is now.  

Trouble is, after looking through your forum posts I see that many of you are in love with the rhyming nickname.  This disappoints me.  As awesome as suggestions like Shane “The Great Dane” Carwin and Shane “You’ll Need a Cane” Carwin are, rhyming nicknames always seem forced.  Although at least T Rex rhymed the last name with his submission: Shane “Darwin” Carwin (since the dude is bringing survival of the fittest back to the UFC’s heavyweight division).  I like that.

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