(Mr. T pities your broke-ass chain.)

According to The Sun, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson has been confirmed for the role of perpetually angry B.A. Baracus in Joe Carnahan‘s movie remake of The A-Team. Jackson beat out rappers The Game and 50 Cent, who were also being considered for the role that Mr. T made famous. The casting is no surprise considering Jackson’s extensive acting reel, which includes being wrecked by Vinnie Jones in Midnight Meat Train, playing an MMA fighter in Never Surrender, and sexually assaulting our reporter. The flick is scheduled for release next summer, and will reportedly feature Liam Neeson as John "Hannibal" Smith and The Hangover star Bradley Cooper as Templeton "Face" Peck. The role of "Howling Mad" Murdock is still up for grabs at this time.

(Props: community.livejournal.com/mma_rus via Fightlinker)

A punch-drunk fighter with a heart of gold learns to love himself again through the graceful (life) lessons of an auburn-haired dance instructor. No, it’s not the plot of a new Mickey Rourke/Isla Fisher romantic comedy. It’s Chuck Liddell‘s real fuckin’ life, so get used to it. (It’ll help if you put on this song, and try to pretend that this is all just part of some badass training montage.) Season nine of Dancing With the Stars premieres on September 21st. Will the Iceman’s moves be up to snuff, or will the judges starch him harder than Sugar and Shogun combined? And what are the odds that Kimbo Slice will join DWtS for season 10?

Previously: Chuck Liddell’s Dance Partner: This Russian Chick

(Tuchscherer puts Alexey Oleinik right where he wants him during the semi-finals of YAMMA Pit Fighting last April. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

With a record of 17-1 and wins over UFC vets like Krzysztof Soszynski, Travis Fulton, and Branden Lee Hinkle, Chris Tuchscherer has been paying his dues for over five years. And yet, the 33-year-old North Dakota native and former two-time NCAA Division II All-American wrestler was told "no dice" when he tried out for TUF 10 earlier this year. Luckily, the UFC came to their senses and decided to give the Crowbar a shot against Gabriel Gonzaga at UFC 102 this Saturday, in a match that could be pivotal for both of their careers. After months of training with long-lost-twin Brock Lesnar, Tuchscherer is ready to test his might in the Octagon. And his first opponent had better watch the hell out…

***

CAGEPOTATO: You tried out for the tenth season of The Ultimate Fighter, and ended up with a contract to fight Gabriel Gonzaga. How exactly did that come about?
CHRIS TUCHSCHERER: I thought I was going to get on the show — I tried out, everything was looking good, I got a second interview — then I got home and I got a call saying I wasn’t going to make the show. Later on that week, I got an e-mail from Joe Silva with a contract offer, so it worked out for the best. But I honestly couldn’t tell you why it went down like that. I was never told, like, “your record is this good, so we just want you to have a contract.”

If you did end up as a castmember on this season of TUF, how do you think you’d do?
I think I would have done very well. I would have seen myself as one of the guys to make it to the finals.

At UFC 102 you’ll be facing Gabriel Gonzaga, who’s very dangerous but has been somewhat inconsistent during his time in the UFC. Do you view this fight as a big step up in competition?
Well, I’ve faced some pretty good guys in the past. Gonzaga’s made his resume as a dangerous opponent in every aspect of the game, so I guess it’ll be a step up in competition considering where he’s been so far, but I don’t look at him as being any better of a man than me, or intimidating to me, because we’re all the same. He got his shot in the UFC in a different way, he made a name for himself right when he got in there, and he is who is now.

I’ve seen a few of your fights online, and your general strategy seems to be to take your opponent down and finish the fight with strikes from the top. Is that pretty much how it’s going to go down against Gonzaga?

(Props: CageWriter)

In the above interview with Steve Cofield, Brandon Vera says he sees little difference between his UFC 102 opponent Krzysztof Soszynski and his original opponent, Matt Hamill, aside from their records, their stance, and the fact that K-Sos’s name is much harder to pronounce. Vera respects Soszynski’s clinch game and strength, but hopes the fight will stay standing: "If somebody decides that they want to stand in front of me and bang, it’s gonna be a show. You’ll be able to see some stuff that I haven’t pulled out of the closet yet, because I haven’t had the chance. So if you got somebody that’s willing just to stand there and trade with me, it’s gonna be some good times." Unfortunately for Vera, Soszynski is no Mike Patt.

After the jump: K-Sos talks about his experience on The Ultimate Fighter, his gameplan for Vera, and the UFC’s stacked 205-pound division.

("Forget about these worthless idiots," the lion told Karo. "Soon we’ll bathe in their blood, and their children’s blood." And in the room was an echoing silence. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

With his nine-month suspension for painkiller use winding down, Karo Parisyan is ready to get his career back on track. The welterweight veteran will be returning to the Octagon at UFC 106 (November 21st, Las Vegas) against 23-year-old submission artist Dustin "McLovin" Hazelett. Parisyan’s last appearance was in January at UFC 94, where he scratched out a split-decision win against Dong Hyun Kim; the result was changed to a no contest following Parisyan’s positive test for Hydrocodone, Hydromorphone, and Oxymorphone. Before that, the Heat suffered a TKO loss against Thiago Alves in April 2008, meaning that he hasn’t scored a legitimate win since his unanimous decision over Ryo Chonan at UFC 78. Hazelett is coming off back-to-back victories (and back-to-back Submission of the Night bonuses) thanks to his acrobatic armbars against Josh Burkman and Tamdan McCrory, but he hasn’t competed since last November due to injury. So whose grappling will be stronger? And whose ring rust will be rustier?

Besides the main events of Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin and Tito Ortiz vs. Mark Coleman, UFC 106 is also expected to feature a welterweight bout between Jon Fitch and Ricardo Almeida, which will be Almeida’s 170-pound debut. Not exactly easing him into the division, are they?

(Sherman’s the guy on the left. Get used to that face, you’ll be seeing it again next month. Photo courtesy of osirisshoes.)

MMA Mania passes along the full lineup for Adrenaline MMA IV (September 18th; Council Bluffs, Iowa) and while we’ve already covered the Tim Sylvia/Jason Riley main event, we now know that UFC light-heavyweight Houston Alexander will be taking on Sherman "The Tank" Pendergarst (11-14) in the co-main event. Alexander’s three-fight losing streak may be a major bummer — and the reason he has to take a tune-up fight outside of the UFC — but Pendergarst has lost his last five matches, and has only won two of his last twelve. Competing mostly as a heavyweight, the Tank has suffered KO/TKO losses against such notables as Shane Carwin, Antoni Hardonk (at UFC 65, Pendergarst’s only Octagon appearance), Justin EIlers, and Tim Hague, and was one of the unfortunate fighters to experience the YAMMA pit first-hand; he lost to Alexey Oleinik by submission.

In other words, this could be just the sacrifical lamb that heavy-handed Houston needs to get his confidence back. Then again, eight of Pendergarst’s 11 wins have come by submission, meaning that Alexander should still be on high alert. So, dude with no ground game (Houston) vs. a guy who gets knocked out a lot (Sherman) — who will be able to impose their gameplan?

The full lineup for Adrenaline IV is after the jump…

(Props: dragonman34)

In the latest installment of Tito Ortiz‘s comeback-trail video blog, Tito helpfully reads us the main details of his UFC 106 bout agreement. It seems that nobody has informed him of the one-pound-allowance rule for non-title fights, and yes, his usual signs of dyslexia are present. ("It’s not going three rounds, no way," Tito says of his fight against Mark Coleman. "I’m taking your ass out in at least two.") Later, he tries to list all the fighters that he’s retired (see the 2:50 mark), and the camera conveniently cuts out after Ken Shamrock. Also, he refers to his fax machine as "the X machine," which made me LOL real hard.

Currently, Ortiz appears to be caught between respecting Mark Coleman as a legendary ex-champion, and disrespecting him because that’s what Tito does. But there is one specific memory of the Hammer that Ortiz is using as motivation: "If you guys pay close attention, when I beat Evan Tanner, and after I slammed Evan Tanner on his head and I jumped up on the Octagon, and I flexed to the audience, Mark Coleman jumped up on the side of the cage, and you can see the disgust on his face. So I think Mark Coleman’s had a little hatred for me for a while. So now he gets the chance. Too bad your chance ain’t gonna be good."

Chilling. Ortiz also predicts a head-kick knockout and vows to get back his title. ("The roads are comin’," whatever that means.) November 21st can’t come soon enough…

(Cyborg, reppin’ her set. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Not only did Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s drubbing of Gina Carano at the last Strikeforce event bring heaps of attention to women’s MMA, but it also made Chute Boxe relevant again. Though the Brazilian fight camp used to be a fearsome presence in the PRIDE era, it fell out of favor as its biggest stars all left to start their own teams. Now, Cris Cyborg is one of the most compelling champions in the sport, and Chute Boxe founder Rudimar Fedrigo is rewarding her with her own school. As he told Portal das Lutas:

Could we see a rebirth of Chute Boxe’s axe-murdering brawl-’til-you-fall style in the U.S.? And with Cris Cyborg as the face of the camp in America, will other female fighters be lured to Chute Boxe? No American MMA team is specifically known for producing great women fighters. It’ll be interesting to see if the Cyborgs recognize this opportunity and seize it.

(Photo courtesy of mmafightspace)

After years of estrangement, legendary MMA fighter/trainer Pat Miletich and the UFC are seeing eye-to-eye again. As Miletich told MMA Madness following a meeting with Dana White at UFC 101, "We touched on me potentially fighting in the UFC again, but nothing was concrete. The door was left open, so that was good.” Now, as Bloody Elbow points out, the Croatian Sensation’s fighter profile has returned to UFC.com.

Miletich has only competed twice since leaving the UFC in 2002, losing to Renzo Gracie by submission at an IFL event in 2006, and knocking out Thomas Denny last December at Adrenaline 2. We’ve previously argued for his induction into the UFC Hall of Fame, and hopefully this is a sign that Miletich will be honored at a future event. But my God, could the 41-year-old really be returning to the Octagon? Sure, the UFC let Mark Coleman fight after inducting him into the Hall of Fame, but that’s because they needed somebody to throw at Lesnar. The justification for bringing back Miletich is much hazier — unless, of course, he’ll be fighting alongside Dennis Hallman and Phil Baroni on TUF 11. (No, I’m not letting this idea go. Get used to it.)

(Fight starts at the 0:58 mark. Props to NelsaoCB)

As the above video proves, Chris Clements and Steve Ramirez do not hold the record for fastest knockout in MMA history. At a Japanese event called "The Outsider 2" held last July, Ryohei Masuda caught Takahiro Kuroishi rushing in and knocked him into the land of wind and ghosts in two seconds flat. (Doesn’t that idiot know that the running start only works when Kid Yamamoto does it? Well, he does now.) Don’t ask us to explain the in-ring brawl that comes directly afterwards, though if there are any Japanese speakers in the house who can translate the narrator, please enlighten us.

After the jump: If you have 17 minutes free, check out this amazing timeline of the UFC’s lightweight title by our friend Koeikan. "Short People" FTW.

(Nine months later, Cris gave birth to a litter of wolverines. Photo courtesy of YorkBlog.com.)

Wow, TGIF you guys, amirite? We might as well give away some obsolete t-shirts. (Don’t worry, a new design is in the works. These things take time.) This week’s big winners are…

Sneaky Pete on "Scott Coker Viciously Punk’d by Cris Cyborg": Of all the parties involved with the prank, I think the hypothetical baby was the most relieved.

agentsmith on "Mitsuhiro Ishida Claims Gilbert Melendez Was Greasy": I’m reserving judgement on this matter until I hear what Ishida’s mother has to say.

And finally, a "Classic MMA Moments Recreated in MS Paint" submission that hits very close to home…

(Just like armbarring a bike: Filho emerges from an eight-month hiatus to take out Melvin Manhoef at DREAM.10 last month.)

In all our hand-wringing about the lack of challenges for Gegard Mousasi, we may have overlooked one formerly fearsome recovering addict — and Paulo Filho wants you to know that he will not be ignored. From Tatame.com via WatchKalibRun:

(Time to earn that thing, Effy. Photo courtesy of MMA Frenzy.)

In what will hopefully become a recurring trend, the UFC has decided to air a two-hour commercial-free telecast of UFC 103‘s undercard on Spike TV as a lead-in to the pay-per-view card, according to the OC Register. And why are we being treated to such generosity? Well, MMA-hater Floyd Mayweather Jr. is fighting Juan Manuel Marquez on the same night, and Dana White wants to be a pain in their asses. That’s good enough for us. It’s only a matter of time before the UFC begins counter-programming NBA playoff games and presidential addresses.

UFC 103, which will be headlined by Rich Franklin vs. Vitor Belfort, and also features Mirko Cro Cop vs. Junior Dos Santos, Mike Swick vs. Martin Kampmann, and Josh Koscheck vs. Frank Trigg, has a whopping eight fights scheduled for the undercard. It’s hard to imagine all of them will make the broadcast, but we could be seeing the returns of Vladimir Matyushenko and Dan Lauzon, the Octagon debut of Paul Daley, and Efrain Escudero‘s first fight since winning TUF 8‘s lightweight trophy. UFC 103′s full lineup is after the jump.

(Brown Pride vs. White Beef.)

With the Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin rumor now widely confirmed, multiple sources are reporting that Cain Velasquez will now take on new UFC acquisition Ben Rothwell at UFC 104. Unfortunately, this means Chase Gormley has been left without an opponent. On the other hand, who cares about Chase Gormley? The battle between the young juggernaut (Velasquez) and the big, hardy veteran (Rothwell) may determine the UFC’s next heavyweight contender after Carwin. Who ya got?

In other UFC news…

— That rumor about Gilbert Yvel being picked up by the UFC is probably bullshit.

(Props: all elbows)

AllElbows.com‘s latest bit of King Mo-related video hype focuses on Mo’s last fight against Ryo Kawamura at Sengoku 7. It was the first time that Lawal wasn’t able to finish an opponent, and he explains that was because his knee was injured during the fight, not because he couldn’t destroy Kawamura if he wanted to. Blame Dean Lister. Now that Mo has gone through knee surgery and rehab, he’s ready to start knocking fools out again.

As you may recall, his next opponent will be Mark Kerr, the waaaaaaay-past-his-prime UFC/PRIDE old-schooler, who’s currently riding a four-fight losing streak. Kerr is a replacement for Don Frye, who disgraced himself by pulling out of the fight. The ridiculous squash match will headline M-1 Global’s "Breakthrough" event in Kansas City next Friday, which will be broadcast live on HDNet beginning at 9 p.m. CT. Other fights on the card include Karl Amoussou vs. John Doyle, and that weird sparring exhibition between Fedor Emelianenko and Gegard Mousasi. If you can find the motivation to DVR this thing at some point in the next week, congratulations — you are a hardcore MMA fan.

After the jump: A classic-rock soundtracked tribute to heavyweight fighters and the interconnectedness of all humanity.

(Photos courtesy of tsbmag.com and obsessedwithsports.com.)

MMA Madness and Fighters Only are both reporting that Shane Carwin has been pulled from his UFC 104 bout against Cain Velasquez, and will instead take on Brock Lesnar at UFC 106 (November 21, Las Vegas). Velasquez may remain on the UFC 104 card against a different opponent.

In the original scenario of Carwin vs. Velasquez as a #1 heavyweight contender fight, Brock Lesnar would have to sit out until early 2010. If the new reports are accurate, it would suggest that the UFC (or Brock himself) thought it would be best if Lesnar fought one more time this year, even if the challenger hasn’t definitively earned his shot. Not that Carwin can’t compete with Lesnar, but it would have been ideal if the Engineer of Pain had one more fight to build up his name. Carwin had this to say on his website:

Can’t confirm or deny? Well, we know what that means…

(This photo was taken directly after Gilbert stomped a waitress to death for bringing him a Bud instead of a Bud Light. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

He may be infamous for biting, eye-gouging, and referee-assaulting, but that doesn’t mean Gilbert Yvel wouldn’t be a welcome addition to the UFC. Buried in a report about Lil’ Nog’s recent signing, MMA Weekly claims that Yvel is on the list of fighters who have been picked up by Zuffa after the collapse of Affliction. The 33-year-old Dutch heavyweight — who sports a record of 36-13-1 with one no-contest, and has claimed all of his wins by stoppage — most recently scored a grisly knockout over Pedro Rizzo at June’s "Ultimate Chaos" show. Before that, he got crushed by Josh Barnett at Affliction: Day of Reckoning, which snapped a seven-fight win streak.

(James Wilks chokes out DaMarques Johnson at the TUF 9 finale in June. Props: OC Register)

If you’re like us, you may have already forgotten that there was a ninth season of The Ultimate Fighter, which featured a bunch of guys from the U.K., two of whom won six-figure contracts with the UFC. But what TUF 9 lacked in drama and overall talent level, it more than made up for in…in…uh…sorry, lost my train of thought there. Anyway, James Wilks is probably going to fight Matt "The Immortal" Brown at UFC 105 (November 14th, Manchester). Oddly enough, it will be Wilks’s first fight in England; the well-rounded welterweight scrapper moved to the U.S. in 2000, and competed only in California before joining the TUF 9 cast. Brown is the TUF 7 vet and former drug addict who has looked very sharp following his reality show stint, and is coming off back-to-back stoppage victories over Ryan Thomas and (infamously) Pete Sell.

Also on the Manchester card will be Wilks’s TUF 9 rival, DaMarques Johnson. According to MMA Weekly, the Salt Lake City native will be taking on Peter Sobotta, who dropped a unanimous decision to Paul Taylor during his Octagon debut at UFC 99. Needless to say, the loser of this fight had better hope that Strikeforce is hiring. As of now, no other fights have been confirmed for UFC 105.

A couple weeks ago, the dudes at Asylum.com were kind enough to invite me onto the fifth installment of Masterclash, their video-podcast covering manly, mannish, masculine issues, with a healthy dose of hell-yeah. (I’m the one with the CagePotato t-shirt and Grimhawk; don’t worry, I shaved it off yesterday.) The topics of the day were as follows: Which MMA technique would be the best to employ in a street fight? How much of your day is spent ogling women? What’s the greatest thing you could accomplish while on a cocktail of alcohol, cocaine, PCP, and hallucinogenic mushrooms? Which Taco Bell item gives you the most gastro-intestinal distress? Etc., etc. And we did it all while guzzling 40s of a malt liquor beverage that shall not be named. Mad props to Anthony, Jake, and Brian for letting me be a part of it. You can subscribe to Masterclash on iTunes simply by clicking here.

(BG)

(Props: Planetamma.com.br via MMA Mania)

Though it was snubbed from the UFC 102 extended trailer, the middleweight bout between Nate Marquardt and Demian Maia is as significant as any other fight on the card. At most, the winner will find himself one win away from a shot at Anderson Silva‘s 185-pound title. In the above video profile, Marquardt says his goal is to be the best in every area of MMA. He’ll try to keep the fight standing, but he isn’t afraid to go to the ground with Maia. After the jump, Maia describes jiu-jitsu as the "boat" that led him to MMA, and says he’ll be sticking to his strengths next Saturday. "It’s no secret, if I can grapple with him I prefer [it]." So whose gameplan will come out on top? Your predictions, please…

(How do you say "Don’t be scared, homey" in Armenian? Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Following recent action in the UFC, Strikeforce, and Sengoku, we’ve updated the lightweight, welterweight, light-heavyweight, heavyweight, and pound-for-pound lists in our Power Rankings section. First, a word about the P4P top ten…

Can we all agree that Anderson Silva, Fedor Emelianenko, and Georges St. Pierre are the three best fighters in the world right now, and any attempt to rank them is completely subjective, and therefore meaningless? Instead of creating a three-way tie at the top (which I briefly considered), we’re going to do it like this until further notice: Whoever has the most recent awe-inspiring, damn-near-inhuman performance gets to be #1.

(Photo courtesy of Strikeforce.)

As first reported by f4wonline.com and confirmed by FiveOuncesofPain, members of Mitsuhiro Ishida‘s camp have issued a verbal complaint to the California State Athletic Commission that Gilbert Melendez was illegally greased up during their fight at Saturday’s Strikeforce event. Melendez defeated Ishida by third-round TKO in a one-sided match marked by Melendez’s flawless counter-punching and takedown defense. During their first meeting in 2007, Ishida was able to control Melendez with his takedowns and grappling, which could explain why Ishida thought something didn’t feel right in San Jose. Melendez, of course, dismissed the charges as ludicrous, telling Sherdog:

Ishida has until the end of the week to file a formal complaint in writing if he wants to further pursue the charge. As we’ve seen in the past, greasing accusations can be effective if you’re Japanese, and the guy who beat you is Korean, and the fight took place in Japan. It’s a lot harder to find sympathy in the U.S., even when you have an entire music video’s worth of evidence.

(Props: Heavy via MMA Mania)

This coming weekend will be a quiet one in the world of MMA, but two Saturdays from now, the UFC will descend on Portland’s Rose Garden Arena for UFC 102, which will be headlined by a heavyweight battle between two legends — Randy Couture and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. The above video trailer does its best to downplay their recent losses to Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir, respectively, but Dana White does mention that it’s a fight where "we’re going to see where they are in the heavyweight division." The storyline for Randy (as always) is that he can never be counted out, even though he’s 46 years old, while Joe Rogan calls Minotauro "one of the most durable fighters to ever fight in all of mixed martial arts" and drools over his submission prowess.

The other featured bout in the trailer is Keith Jardine vs. Thiago Silva. The Dean of Mean isn’t too bothered by his rocky path in the light-heavyweight division, saying "I’m taking the hard road to the title, but I’m gonna make it to the top, it’s only a matter of time." Also: "My goal is find my opponent’s soul and take it from him." As Joe Rogan sees it, this fight "represents to me two guys who are desperately in need for a win…two guys coming off losses with a lot to prove."

Related: Citing Oregon’s deep recession and aggressive tax policy, MMA Payout reports that UFC 102 is far from sold out, particularly in the higher-priced sections. So if you live near the Rose Garden, you may want to show up the day of the event…

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

According to MMA Fanhouse, WEC featherweight prospect Cole Province has tested positive for the designer anabolic steroid Methasterone, following his unanimous decision win over Fredson Paixao at WEC 42:

The 28-year-old Oklahoma native is the fourth MMA fighter to test positive for steroids this year — following Kirill Sidelnikov, Ken Shamrock, and Josh Barnett — but just the first fighter to piss dirty in Nevada since Kit Cope in January 2007. Province only made six grand for his recent win, and will likely be giving up a sizable chunk of it to the NSAC. We’ll update the definitive timeline as soon as we learn more about Province’s punishment and response.

Related: All fighters who competed at Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg tested clean for "drugs of abuse." Results from steroid tests will come back in three to four weeks.

("Cris? Do you think that maybe *I* could be on top tonight?"
"Get a decent win streak together and we’ll talk." Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Practical jokes are like knockout punches — they both rely on timing for maximum devastation. Cristiane and Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos understand this better than anybody. Who knows why they’d want to give Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker a heart attack the night before an already cursed event, but  oh boy did they get him:

Too bad we couldn’t be there to see Coker’s reaction. We’re guessing it looked something like this.

(What can you say? The man’s a natural…)

Dana White might have forced Chuck Liddell into retirement, but somehow, some way, the Iceman’s competitive fire was going to find an outlet — it’s just too bad it had to be through a televised dancing competition. UFC.com has revealed that the former light-heavyweight champ and UFC Hall of Famer has accepted a spot on the ninth season of ABC’s Dancing With the Stars, which premieres Monday, September 21st. Liddell will be battling for dance-floor supremacy against Michael Irvin, Donny Osmond, Tom DeLay (!?), Melissa Joan Hart, Mya, Aaron Carter, Kathy Ireland, Kelly Osbourne, and seven other C/D-listers. Chuck has had no prior dance training, and told UFC.com "I like to dance, but I don’t know how to dance." Still, he’s not counting himself out:

("…so I came to the point where I knew my life had become unmanageable, and if I was going to get well again, I had to turn my life over to a higher power. Nah, just fuckin’ with you, I hotboxed in the car on the way over here." Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

After Nick Diaz‘s love of the ganja screwed "Carano vs. Cyborg" out of a welterweight title fight, we wondered if Strikeforce would finally decide that the Stocktonite was too much of a liability to keep around. Well don’t worry, Diaz fans, because that little misunderstanding has been completely sorted out. As Scott Coker said during the "Carano vs. Cyborg" post-fight press conference:

("Hey, I’m Gina!" 
"I am the one known as ‘Cyborg’."
"Look, whatever happens tonight, I just want you to know that I have tons of respect for you, and I feel honored to be fighting you."
"I want to kill you so bad, my dick’s hard."
Photo courtesy of this set on CombatLifestyle.)

So who wants to witness some history in the making? Tonight, the curse is lifted, and the most significant women’s MMA fight of all time will take place. (Before that, there will be some men’s MMA matches of varying importance.) Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg results await you after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes for round-by-round updates and occasional digressions. Warning: The Showtime broadcast is delayed on the west coast, so check your local listings, and if you’re not getting it live, maybe stay away from the comments section for a while, lest you be spoiled.

(For lots more Carano vs. Cyborg weigh-in pics, hit up CombatLifestyle and flickr.com/photos/shosports)

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

The face of women’s MMA was in fine form at yesterday’s weigh-ins — which is unsurprising, considering Scott Coker was weighing her every day. We’ll be liveblogging the Showtime broadcast of "Carano vs. Cyborg" tonight starting at 10:30 p.m. ET, so swing by and let us know what you think. After the jump: The ultra-slick show-opening video for Carano vs. Cyborg. Deal with it, Gladiator.

("All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, the blood of my opponents, and I’m fine." Photo courtesy of Fight!)

BJ Penn isn’t exactly the most prolific fighter in the world; over the last three years, the Prodigy has only made six appearances in the Octagon. But now that he’s entered his 30s, the UFC lightweight king has vowed that his long layoffs are over, and he’s ready to get back in the cage sooner rather than later. As he told the Hawaii Tribune-Herald: