5. Terry Martin puts up his dukes…sort of
The second round had just started at UFC 54: Boiling Point, when James Irvin went airborne for a flying knee. Terry Martin had battled Irvin for a round already and decided to go all soft and not protect his face. He goes down limp except for his arms, which stay raised in an “I’m not worthy” position. Moments like this should serve more as a warning to never lower your guard for even a second — it’s very likely that you’ll end up on your back looking like a chump.

4. Johnnie Morton thinks he’s playing football
Johnnie Morton was a good receiver in the pros and at USC. But does that translate to the ring? Apparently not. Especially when it appears he’s just trying to go for a weak tackle the entire time. Morton debuted his new career at K-1 Hero’s in June, displaying some of the worst technique and defense seen all year. Bernard Ackah’s nothing special, but he was good enough to see when Morton left himself exposed, and knocked homeboy out in 35 seconds. Don’t quit your day job, Johnnie — oh wait, no one wants you in the NFL these days, either.

3. Matt Lindland KO’s himself slamming Falaniko Vitale
This one went down back at UFC 43: Meltdown, where everyone thought it was just a matter of time before The Law brought Niko down. But nobody expected Lindland to misjudge the turn on the chest-to-chest slam. Lindland gets his head wedged between Niko’s falling melon and the mat, taking himself down for the count. What, A, Loser. We should mention that five months later, Lindland got his revenge and took Vitale out, not that it redeemed the shamefulness of this particular night.

Chuck Liddell officially became a star at UFC 52 (4/16/05), avenging his previous loss to Randy Couture and taking the UFC’s light heavyweight belt, which he would go on to defend four times. Then somewhere along the line he discovered clubs and cough syrup, and the next thing you know he’s losing a decision to Keith Jardine. Let’s see if the Iceman can reclaim his past glory this Saturday at UFC 79 against Wanderlei Silva. Though Wandy’s knees might have other plans…

Mike Swick picked up his fourth-straight UFC victory with this first-round submission of Joe Riggs at UFC 60 (5/27/06), and his second consecutive victory by guillotine-choke from the closed guard — a technique that would be dubbed the “Swickitine.” Swick’s next fight is against Josh “Yes, I Banged Arianny Celeste” Burkman at UFC Fight Night on 1/23.

(Check the watches and necklaces…that’s the difference between MMA money and boxing money.)

A minor hubbub was caused this weekend when an ESPN.com article reported that boxing superstar Floyd Mayweather met with HDNet owner Mark Cuban to discuss “a revolutionary jump to mixed martial arts.” Said Mayweather’s advisor/friend Leonard Ellerbe:

“It’s definitely something he is interested in, and when Floyd makes his move, obviously it’s going to be a mega event…Mark Cuban is a very successful businessman and has some very, very successful business ventures that we’ve discussed…Doing an MMA event with him is most definitely something we are looking at, among many things we are looking at doing with Mark Cuban.”

In turn, Cuban was quoted as saying:

“Floyd is considering fighting with HDNet Fights. We are going to let him visit some gyms to talk to some folks about what it would take to learn. He knows it won’t be easy. But he is getting involved with MMA and HDNet Fights one way or another. He is pumped about it. He wants to go on to the next big thing. Floyd is a brilliant marketer. He follows the money…If I said there’s a guaranteed $30 million payday, Floyd would be lacing them up.”

For the benefit of the dangerously naive, everything in that last quote that I didn’t put bold tags around is utter horseshit, intended to hype up the fact that Floyd Mayweather will soon be having some sort of involvement in HDNet Fights. Mark Cuban, who has been tight with Mayweather since their stint on Dancing With the Stars, is floating that stuff about Mayweather visiting MMA gyms so that you, the stupid fight fan, will pay close attention to Mayweather’s next move (and by extension, HDNet’s). But Mayweather himself never said he’d be strapping on some four-ounce gloves and stepping into a cage. Here’s what he actually did say, two weeks ago, after his TKO of Ricky Hatton: “I don’t know if I’ll fight again. I’m not going to let boxing retire me, I’ll retire from boxing. I accomplished all that I could as a fighter. Now it’s time to be a promoter.”

Let’s take it from the top, because I feel like y’all aren’t hearing me.

…or else you’ll make the kind of outlandish claims that Frank Shamrock was making during a ProElite.com forum chat yesterday. Like, such as:

“I would easily beat Kimbo Slice and Brock Lesnar.”

Alright, fair enough. But how about:

“I’d knock [Anderson Silva] out in 7 minutes.”

Really! Two minutes into the second round, that’s how you’re calling it? The balls on this guy! Shamrock also confirmed that he’s down for fighting his brother Ken in 2009 (“I gotta fight my brother, it’s bigger than mma, it’s what will take the sport mainstream”) and that he’s looking to take on Renzo Gracie and Cung Le next year. To read all of the insanity, go here.

Something else I learned about Frank today: Though the dude just turned 35, he has a nineteen-year-old son. I’m not judging or anything, but my God, do the math on that one.

#10. Keith “Satan” Jardine assaults Chuck Liddell

#9. Gina Carano weighs in

The fighter salaries for WEC 31 were released yesterday. Here are the figures for the fighters who were on the televised card:

Urijah Faber ($40,000, including $20,000 win bonus) def. Jeff Curran ($10,000)

Jens Pulver ($60,000, including $30,000 win bonus) def. Cub Swanson ($5,000)

(Anderson Silva giving Rich Franklin the business)

Check out more of Scott’s work after the jump. To buy prints, click here.

By CagePotato contributor Kipp Tribble

10. Jens Pulver vs John Lewis (15 seconds)
UFC 28: High Stakes was the venue for this classic KO. The left hook that Lil’ Evil lands is the stuff that bar-fight dreams are made of. Lewis hits the mat and appears to want to fight the ref for a few seconds until deciding he’s better off lying still. Not much to it, but damn what a shot to the face – and one that pushed Lewis into early retirement.

9. Gary Goodridge vs Paul Herrerra (13 seconds).
Way back in 1996 at UFC 8: David vs. Goliath, Goodridge squared up against Herrera in what was being billed as a “solid match.” If by “solid” they meant a guy getting elbowed almost to death, then solid it was. Goodridge quickly wrapped Herrera up and was on his way to a submission, but decided, “Why not? I’ll just try and kill him instead.” Double G then proceeds to land elbow after elbow to Herrera’s temple, rendering him pretty damn lifeless.

8. Aleksander Emelianenko vs. James Thompson (11 seconds)
Well, this one just makes us smile. First you have James Thompson, built like a Mack truck and shaking with fury. Then you have doughy Aleksander Emelianenko, who looks like he just woke up from a nap. As they meet in the center of the ring, Thompson gives Emelianenko a stare-down that would crush cement; Emelianenko calmly wipes a booger off his upper lip. If you haven’t seen what happens next, we won’t spoil it for you…

The IFL held a media conference call today with Chris Horodecki and Jay Hieron, who answered reporters’ questions about their upcoming bouts for the lightweight and welterweight titles (respectively) at the IFL World Grand Prix. Full audio from the call is available at Jarry Park. We’ll save you some time — the questions that CagePotato was able to ask are below:

Both of you fought [in the IFL] as L.A. Anacondas. What’s the best advice or fighting tip you’ve ever gotten from Bas Rutten?
Jay Hieron: When [Bas] fights, he definitely gets over-aggressive and he wants to finish fights so quick that he had to write “relax” on his arm, so I tried it in one of my fights and I believe that helped me out a little bit, to basically stay more relaxed out there. And like Chris just said before with the knockout situation [regarding a question about Horodecki's apparent lack of a knockout punch], let stuff come, don’t force anything and it will come.
Chris Horodecki: I really admire Bas, too, outside the thing, just the type of person he is. He’s got a great heart and he really stresses balance in and out of the ring, and taking your mind away from fighting when the job is done. You train hard, and then you gotta rest hard. I think that’s important too.

Chris, I know the legal drinking age in Ontario is 19. Does it bother you not being able to go out for a few cocktails with the guys in L.A. because of the drinking age of 21 in the States?
Horodecki: After the fight, I’m pretty quick to go home, but I try to keep as behaved as I can while in the States. In terms of being out here [at Xtreme Couture in Las Vegas], it makes it real easy to not get distracted. It’s not available to me. Back home I can go out all the time, but I’m here so it’s just business right now.

Are there any other drawbacks you see to being younger than everyone else you fight and train with?
Horodecki: Not really. I think it’s a benefit. I’m just starting out, I’m not racing the clock. A lot of fighters are starting their careers and they’re racing the clock to get in as many fights and do their thing before they hit their peak, so I think that’s an advantage to myself. I’m just real fortunate.

Unfortunately, a subsequent question about “crazy fan experiences” didn’t result in any entertaining anecdotes.

The IFL World Grand Prix goes down on December 29 and will be broadcast live from Uncasville, CT, on HDNet.

NBC.com has posted photos of MMA star Gina Carano (“Crush”) in her American Gladiators uniform, along with pics of her fellow castmembers. We gotta say, our girl is looking good — unfortunately, she’ll be sharing screen time with she-beasts like “Hellga”:

Good Lord. You bang that woman in a dream, you better wake up and apologize…

Jason “Mayhem” Miller and Frank “Twinkle Toes” Trigg are headlining tomorrow night’s HDNet Fights: Reckless Abandon show (more on that later), and though the two middleweights are fighting separately, they met previously at “Icon Sport: Mayhem vs. Trigg” (12/1/06), where Miller lost the middleweight belt that he had just taken from Robbie Lawler. Icon’s rules are similar to PRIDE’s former rules, so brace yourself for loads of soccer-kicks to the head and one seriously unsympathetic ref.

Swanson might not be talking so much shit after this one. If you missed our WEC 31 recap, click here. I’d also like to point out that as of 5:04 p.m. ET, 41% of CagePotato poll-takers thought that the show was ridiculously, insanely awesome, while 59% of CagePotato poll-takers are idiots. Good to know!

Last night’s episode of ESPN: 360 included a profile on urrybody’s favorite street-brawler-turned-MMA-contender, Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson. If you’re already a fan of Kimbo, you won’t find too much new information in the segment’s broad strokes, but check out the video below to learn about Kimbo’s first street fight, his tough times in the wake of Hurricane Andrew, and the origins of his life as an Internet star. As the clip reveals, Ferguson’s long-term contract with EliteXC pays him “more than six-figures a fight” (which translates to over $5,000 per second in his last match against Bo Cantrell, King of the Tomato Cans). Also, Tito Ortiz thinks Kimbo would get “crushed within seconds” against the level of competition in the UFC. Big words from a man who knows he’ll never be in the same weight class as the guy he’s talking shit about…

By far the wildest and bloodiest match of Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter 6 finale, John Koppenhaver and Jared Rollins’s three-round demolition derby was the people’s choice for fight of the night. Koppenhaver dominated from the top position in the first round, but took a truly nasty barrage of elbows to the head in the process. With both fighters leaking blood, Rollins took control in the second frame, raining down punishment from above, pressuring War Machine with choke attempts, and coming very close to a TKO-by-strikes victory. And then this happened:

Any other referee would have stopped the fight at the 3:33 mark. Luckily for John Koppenhaver, Steve Mazzagatti is a sadistic maniac.

Our homies at Complex just gave us the heads-up about their new photo shoot and interview with former Octagon Girl and current UFC All Access host Rachelle Leah. To see more pics from the shoot — and to find out where Rachelle would take a punch if she absolutely had to — click here. Or, feel free to gawk at some of our all-time favorite pics of Ms. Leah after the jump…

“I was hurt. He rocked me, man. I was slightly knocked out but I knew what was going on. I just heard this ringing, and it was the weirdest thing, all I saw was all this hair, I didn’t know if it was a human being or a lion attacking me, then after about 10 seconds I was like ‘Hey Clay’ and it was back on.” — Roger Huerta, to Yahoo! Sports

Forget all this “interim” bullshit — according to an article posted yesterday night on UFC.com, BJ Penn and Joe Stevenson will fight for the true, undisputed lightweight championship at UFC 80: Rapid Fire on January 19th. Before the Ultimate Fighter 6 finale on Saturday, UFC officials confirmed that Sean Sherk had been stripped of the lightweight title after his suspension for steroid use was upheld (sort of) by the California State Athletic Commission. Says Dana White: “I have nothing but respect for Sean Sherk and I believe he’s been honest throughout this whole process. But BJ Penn and Joe Stevenson will be fighting for the lightweight title at UFC 80 on January 19th and Sean Sherk will fight the winner for the title.”

Penn’s fight against Stevenson will be his third attempt at securing the UFC’s lightweight belt, and fifth title fight overall; he was briefly the UFC’s welterweight champion after defeating Matt Hughes at UFC 46 (1/31/04). UFC 80 represents the first title shot for Stevenson, who has been fighting professionally since he was 16. Though initial reports suggested that “Rapid Fire” — which is being held in Newcastle, England — might be presented to American audiences as a taped prime-time special on CBS, Fightlinker.com is now floating a rumor that the first UFC/CBS collabo will actually be UFC 81. So if you plan on watching the Penn/Stevenson bout next month, be prepared to roll out of bed at the ungodly hour of 12 p.m. PT/3 p.m. ET and start your Saturday with a steaming bowl of bloodshed.

Potent — a new documentary about MMA co-produced by Bas Rutten — is now available for purchase at PotentTheMovie.com. Peep the trailer below; though the film’s angle seems to be that MMA is an arduous though ultimately rewarding way to make a living, it could probably use some gritty Smashing Machine-style pathos to appeal to a broader audience. Or, at the very least, a few crowd-pleasing kicks to the groin…

Looks like somebody didn’t read our list. According to a press release, Bob Sapp will make his “highly-anticipated” return to MMA competition when he headlines “Strikeforce at the Dome” in Tacoma, WA, on February 23. Sapp’s opponent will be named shortly.

Arguably the world’s worst pound-for-pound mixed martial artist active today, Bob Sapp’s career highlights in the past two years include:

— Agreeing to headline a May 2006 K-1 event in Holland against Ernesto Hoost, and then backing out halfway through the show.

— Agreeing to fight Gary Turner at Cage Rage 21 in February of this year, then backing out a few days before the fight was scheduled to go down.

— Cracking up Jay Leno with his impression of Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade.

— Defeating “Hard Gay” at a HUSTLE Pro Wrestling event on November 4.

— Eating hoagies?

Best of luck to Strikeforce and Ticketmaster in dealing with all of the refund demands that will result from Sapp’s upcoming non-appearance. The people of Tacoma deserve nothing but the best from your respective customer service departments.

So, Mac Danzig proved a few things at Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter 6 finale: 1) I should really stop making public predictions. 2) Experience trumps raw power. 3) With his killer ground-and-pound and the ability to end nearly every fight in a rear naked choke, Danzig may already be a top-5 contender in the UFC’s lightweight division. The UFC is pretty aggressive about pulling their vids from YouTube, so get it while it’s hot…

First, the good news:

The “Yarennoka!” New Year’s Eve event that will feature Fedor Emelianenko will be shown live on HDNet. The all-high-definition cable channel already had a stacked month of MMA scheduled, with live broadcasts of HDNet Fights: Reckless Abandon on 12/15 and the IFL 2007 World Grand Prix Finals on 12/29, and the landing of Fedor Emelianenko in his first match since April is a huge coup.

“This announcement reinforces our commitment to becoming the home for live MMA action,” said HDNet owner Mark Cuban. “No one else but HDNet will have the return of Fedor live from Japan.”

Now, the bad news: Emelianenko’s opponent has not yet been named. Hong Man Choi competes at the K-1 World Grand Prix Final tournament this Saturday, and with a first-round draw of Jerome Le Banner, he could be in no condition to fight again just three weeks later. Later rumors named Josh Barnett as Fedor’s opponent, but his participation hasn’t been locked down yet either. So, kind of a gamble for HDNet — the possibility of Fedor fighting a random last-minute replacement could make for a supremely disappointing night that could negatively affect MMA fans’ opinion of the channel. But honestly, who the hell would fight Fedor Emelianenko on such short notice? Bo Cantrell? It should be noted that heavyweights Mark Hunt and Aleksander Emelianenko are also scheduled to fight at Yarennoka!, but currently lack opponents. I say throw the three of them in a cage together and see who’s the last man standing. Obviously, the Emelianenko brothers would table-top Hunt, pound him out, then agree on a draw, but hey, if you can think of a better main event I’m all ears.

For all the attention we’ve been giving to the Danzig/Speer matchup at Saturday’s TUF Finale, we haven’t shown much love to the Roger Huerta (19-1-1, 5-0 UFC) vs. Clay Guida (22-8-0, 2-2 UFC) lightweight bout that’s actually headlining the card. Many fans have been questioning Huerta’s impressive record, arguing that the UFC has given him easy matchups to protect its Hispanic poster-boy. But as tough as Clay Guida is, he has trouble finishing fights, and it’s not like he’s been tested by the best either; he’s certainly lost to talented fighters, but he hasn’t really beaten any. Personally, I think the Guida love among fans is a little unwarranted (maybe they just want to see him destroy something beautiful). I’m going to pick Huerta in a unanimous decision. But hey, feel free to come to your own conclusions. You can start by watching this clip from the UFC 79 press conference, then Huerta and Guida’s most recent fights…

(Roger Huerta vs. Alberto Crane, UFC 74, 8/25/07)

Click here to download Clay Guida/Marcus Aurelio at UFC 74 (221 MB), courtesy of MMALinker.

In a press release distributed yesterday, EliteXC announced that it had granted long-term contract extensions to Murilo “Ninja” Rua (who defeated Xavier Foupa-Pokam at Cage Rage last Saturday) and Antonio “Big Foot” Silva, a former super-heavyweight who dropped from 300 pounds to 265 in order to fight (and submit) Jonathan Wiezorek at last month’s “Renegade” event. EliteXC live events prez Gary Shaw seemed particularly confident about Big Foot’s abilities:

“I believe Silva is the No. 1 heavyweight in the world which is why I wanted to make sure he stayed with us. If there is a UFC heavyweight or, for that matter, any heavyweight out there that feels they are the best then lets make a match. We can do the fight in an Octagon, in the EliteXC cage or any venue. I truly believe ‘Big Foot’ will kick any heavyweight’s butt and look forward to giving him the opportunity to do it.’’

Wow…that is rich. I’m not sure who Silva has defeated to be considered “No. 1 heavyweight in the world” — his most notable wins were over Wesley “Cabbage” Correira and Ruben “Warpath” Villareal, both of whom could have been included in Wednesday’s list — but setting aside the utter outlandishness of Gary Shaw’s claim, there’s no reason EliteXC should be looking outside of its ranks for challengers. That’s what you do when all other contenders have been smashed, not when your guy is on a two-fight win streak and Kimbo Slice is sitting on his hands waiting for someone who can remain upright for more than 90 seconds against him. Silva vs. Slice — that’s the announcement that EliteXC should be making now. If Big Foot can win that fight, then maybe he can be mentioned in the same breath as these guys. Until then, he’s just another Silva…

In honor of Ken-Flo’s upcoming debut in the announcer’s booth, here’s his most recent fight against Din Thomas at UFC Fight Night 11 (9/19/07), which was kind of a fiasco, actually. First, Florian nails Thomas with the hardest accidental groin kick I’ve ever seen. He was looking to break Thomas’s leg with that shot, and instead nailed him directly in the pills. Then, Mario Yamasaki does an awesome job of standing there with his thumb up his ass while Florian repeatedly pounds Thomas in the back of the head; at one point, Florian makes a gesture at Yamasaki as if to say, “Do you actually need to see the dude’s brains before you jump in?” But hey, all’s well that ends well.

Quote of the day, from 15Rounds.com via MMA Mania:

What do you think about Fedor Emelianenko’s choice not to fight in the UFC?
WS: He’s crazy. I don’t know why the guy doesn’t want to fight here. These are the best events. This is the biggest promotion. The guy could be a symbol here. He could have money for the rest of his life. He could do well with the promotion, with sponsors, with commercials, and many other possibilities…He needs to come to the UFC.

Silva went on to say, “Dana White is an intelligent, virile, beautiful man who definitely does not keep me in a cage at night and beat me with hoses. Well, sometimes he beats me with hoses, but they’re thin hoses, and it’s only because I’m so clumsy and ungrateful.”

But seriously, you should read the rest of the interview, in which Wandy gives major props to Forrest Griffin and addresses the rumor that he could be a coach on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter:

I’d love to coach or even be a fighter on it. What I think they should [do] some day is have a program with major professional fighters. For me, I’d want to do it. It’s a great show.

Having pro fighters compete on The Ultimate Fighter is a fantastic idea, but it might be a little tough to pull off. For now, I think the UFC should just hold a one-off TUF special where Silva fights Richie Hightower to the death. Winner gets a Xyience sponsorship!

Also, he’ll be returning to the Octagon in May.

In an interview with MMA Weekly, Ortiz said:

“My last fight, before I fought Rashad (Evans), I wasn’t 100%, and I just wanted to make sure if I ever fight again I’m going to be 100%. The back injury that I sustained kind of hindered me for fight time. Now it’s a lot better…I spoke to Lorenzo (Fertitta), and it looks like in May. They’re going to wait until May, so the next Cinco de Mayo weekend will be Tito Ortiz’ next fight.”

Ortiz’s opponent has not yet been named, but it’s unlikely that the fight will be a re-match with Rashad Evans. Though Ortiz expressed interest in facing the winner of UFC 78′s Evans/Bisping match, MMA Fightline reports that UFC matchmaker Joe Silva has advised both Rashad Evans and Michael Bisping to drop down to middleweight. (This would also affect the possibility of a future Bisping/Hamill rematch.) In any case, with only one fight remaining in his current UFC contract, Ortiz better make his next appearance a good one, or Dana White will fire his ass faster than Trump.

In his meeting with Dana White last Tuesday, Randy Couture turned down a proposed title defense against Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira at UFC 81. Most likely, Nogueira will instead face Tim Sylvia for the UFC’s vacant heavyweight title.

Man, fuck you Randy. I know it’s not totally your fault that the UFC’s heavyweight division is so thin that Tim Sylvia — a guy who nobody likes to see on fight cards — gets so many goddamned title shots. But this is not helping. You have one more fight left on your contract. One. Suck it up. Or, you can just play with your stupid little puppy all day and squander the golden years of your fighting career on an acting boondoggle, and eventually fall into obscurity. You know, whatever’s best for the fans.

I just felt like posting a video of Rich Franklin actually winning a fight, so here y’go. Let’s not take anything away from the moment by pointing out that Ken was about eight years past his prime at this point, and couldn’t stay on his feet to save his life. That part at the 4:06 mark where he basically falls into Franklin’s fist? Genius.

(Rich Franklin vs. Ken Shamrock, TUF1 finale, 4/9/05)

Apparently tired of being America’s most highly regarded female mixed martial artist, Gina Carano has decided to to try her hand at firing tennis balls from a cannon. The American Gladiators blog (yes, such a thing exists) reports that “The Beautiful Disaster” has joined the cast of the legendary athletic competition show, which is being re-made by NBC in light of the ongoing WGA writer’s strike; AG premieres on January 6th, and Carano’s gladiator name will be “Crush.” Her fellow female gladiators — Siren, Stealth, Venom, Helga (?), and a pre-op transsexual named Fury — all come from a bodybuilding background. No word yet on who will play the deaf one.

It’s sad to consider it, but this is undeniably the beginning of the end of Carano’s MMA career. Nobody would put themselves through the humiliation of crawling around inside a metal hamster-ball while wearing hot-pink spandex unless they had network television ambitions to begin with. Carano most likely saw Gladiators as her ticket to a guest spot on Law and Order: SVU, followed by roles in romantic comedies as Sandra Bullock’s younger sister. And I really hope it’s worth it for her, because her hiatus/retirement would mean that women’s MMA loses its marketable mascot. So let’s all be bitter at Gina, and console ourselves with the fact that she’ll be spending the winter dealing with douchebags like these:

(Mike “Titan” O’Hearn)

(Don “Wolf” Yates)