— The fight card for WEC 31 has been finalized.

— Dennis Hallman and Alexander Crispim tested positive for steroids after the last Strikeforce show. Both were fined $2,500 and suspended one year.

— Dana White met with Randy Couture last night. “Stay tuned.”

— Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto will fight Rani Yahya at the K-1 Premium 2007 Dynamite!! card in Osaka on New Year’s Eve. Though Yahya is still under contract with WEC, he’s fighting with their blessing; hopefully this is a diplomatic step towards a Kid Yamamoto/Urijah Faber bout being hooked up in the future.

— Mac Danzig’s blog for the OC Register is kind of amazing.

— Shonie Carter is bitter and old.

“I wouldn’t say it’s encouraged, but [the producers] told us how extreme we could go. They just didn’t want us breaking windows or burning down the house or anything like that. I don’t understand all the negative attention about it, honestly. I see a lot of people complaining. Some of these guys on the show were even saying it’s disrespectful and things like that. In the back of my head, I’m like, ‘What are you talking about?’ People build houses 10 times the size of that house just to blow it up for movies and stuff. This is a TV set. This is how we look at it. This isn’t someone’s house. As long as it’s fixable, it’s not really a big deal. You put 16 fighters in one house with nothing to do — and then they give us alcohol after losing fights and stuff? Well, stuff’s going to happen. Most times it isn’t done to entertain the people watching at home. It’s done to entertain ourselves because we have absolutely nothing to do in that house.”

Source: MMA Junkie

Rumor has it that the first official M-1 Global event will feature Fedor Emelianenko and Josh Barnett battling it out in Newark, so I thought I’d post a vid of “The Baby-Faced Assassin” in action. A veteran of both the UFC and PRIDE organizations, Barnett has a record of 25-5 and holds notable wins over Randy Couture, Dan Severn, Aleksander Emelianenko, and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, which makes him a much more credible opponent for Fedor than Hong Man Choi. This fight is from K-1 ROMANEX in May 2004, and features a wild ending where both fighters are hanging through the ropes (though feel free to skip past the first 2:25 unless you speak Japanese):

To see Barnett’s win over Aleksander Emelianenko, go here. Hopefully Fedor will get a chance to avenge his lil’ brudder‘s beating…

MMAPayout has a great summary/analysis of the latest developments in the UFC’s looming network television deal. Among the revelations:

— CBS’s discussions with the UFC began prior to the writer’s strike, and the deal is not dependent on the strike’s outcome. NBC’s interest, on the other hand, is directly dependent upon the strike; specifically, NBC is interested in MMA as a replacement for Saturday Night Live‘s timeslot if the writer’s strike continues. NBC has also met with M-1, EliteXC, and the IFL.

— CBS is interested in UFC 80 as a taped prime-time special.

— NBC is reportedly unwilling to pay rights fees, instead offering half the advertising inventory and NBC’s prestige and exposure. This is apparently what sunk their talks with the IFL, whose CEO Jay Larkin said, “[P]eople have been giving away this MMA product for so long that it’s very difficult to put on the brakes and say it’s no longer free, we have to get some of these costs covered…Going forward we have to stop giving this product away. It has enormous value….We have to start getting an appropriate license fee arrangement with whoever uses this show.”

— The UFC’s financially shaky and setback-filled year has damaged their bargaining power.

I think it’s safe to say that a major network TV deal is the only thing that will stop the UFC’s bleeding after a year marked by dull PPV cards, costly acquisitions/expansions, fluke upsets, and the “resignation” of one of their biggest stars. But being that you only get one shot to make a first impression, maybe UFC 80 isn’t the best way to debut the brand to an unfamiliar viewership. Though the Penn/Stevenson and Gonzaga/Werdum fights should be exciting, their names are meaningless to those who don’t follow the sport. It seems like Dana White and the Fertittas are panicking and trying to make a big move as soon as possible, when they should wait an extra two weeks to capitalize on the hype of Brock Lesnar’s debut at UFC 81.

Still, it would be nice to have the UFC fill the SNL spot for a while, if only for the possibility of post-fight interviews being handled by Fred Armisen…

You know how a prank goes too far on tonight’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter? Well, MMA Junkie has revealed that the prank in question is the dreaded “upper-decker.” I’ve changed my mind about these MMA fighters — they’re nothing but mindless animals.

The Junkie has also learned that “for unexplained reasons, and not necessarily health-related reasons…one semifinal qualifier will not be able to compete in next week’s fights, which allows one of the eliminated cast members to step in for a shot at the finals.” I’m putting my money on John Kolosci to come back, based on the fact that TUF.UFC.com originally forgot to put his headshot in black-and-white (it was in color as of Monday). Tune in tomorrow morning for the episode recap…

As you may have heard, the UFC is releasing a 392-page coffee-table book called Octagon. Limited to a run of just 600 copies, weighing over 50 pounds, and coming with a price tag of $2,500 (or $3,500 for the Deluxe Collector’s Edition), the book collects five years worth of portrait and action photography of UFC fighters shot by Kevin Lynch. In this video, Lynch gives some insight on the project’s creation and his attention-getting “Before and After” pictures:

To check out photos from the book — and you might as well, considering you’ll never, ever own this thing — go to Octagon-Book.com.

— Audio from yesterday’s UFC conference call with Matt Hughes, Georges St. Pierre and Dana White is at the OC Register. Hughes said he would have much rather faced Serra “because of all the built up anger.” Dana White still hasn’t met with Randy Couture to discuss Couture’s future with the UFC.

— According to MMA Payout, the S&P downgraded Zuffa‘s credit rating from BB to BB- today, due to a “weaker than expected performance in the third quarter, marking the second consecutive disappointing quarter.” BB ratings indicate “Bonds with speculative fundamentals. The security of future payments is only moderate.”

— Newly formed Japanese MMA promotional outfit World Victory Road, Inc. announced its first event, “Sengoku,” which will take place in Tokyo on March 5th, 2008, and will feature Hidehiko Yoshida, Sanae Kikuta, Makoto Takimoto, and Ryo Kawamura. More info can be found at Suki MMA.

— UFC 81 has been named “Breaking Point.”

— Chuck Liddell wants you to join his cute little social networking site.

How does a guy with only a 4-1 MMA record find himself ranked #6 on MMA Weekly’s list of the best current light heavyweights? Simple: When he’s Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou, a judo champion and Team Quest member whose last two fights resulted in quick knockouts of MMA superstars Ricardo Arona and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira. This bout against Arona went down in April of this year; “The African Assassin” is scheduled to make his UFC debut next month at UFC 79 against Lyoto Machida (11-0), who has scored wins over Rich Franklin, Stephan Bonnar, and B.J. Penn. Should be a real corker.

Hey guys, you know who isn’t a prostitute? Paulo Filho. But do you know who quite possibly might have been one in the past?

According to FightLinker.com and this reliable forum thread on MyTerb.com (a review site devoted to Toronto hookers), new French-Canadian UFC ring girl Edith Larente used to be employed by both Eleganza Escorts and Devilish Escorts (“All our Girls are Guaranteed to be GFE or PSE!!!![?]“). As the MyTerb thread goes:

“Let’s play guess teh agency she worked at. Man oh man did she really make it. I have seen at least 4 x in Montreal she was one of the best escorts. Word at the strip clubs talking with some HA is that she met and fucked Dana White when he went out to hammer out GSP’s contract. WORD!!! Kind of sucks that these bald, fat Americans took one of ours. One of the best.”

Incriminating! (Though, for the record, who the hell knows.) Click here for a sort-of NSFW trailer of Edith (aka “Anabelle”) from FlashyBabes.com and check out more pics of Edith after the jump.

From an interview with undefeated WEC middleweight champ Paulo Filho on Tatame.com.br, run through a translator by Five Ounces O’Pain:

You received proposal to train Chuck Liddell. Did you accept the proposal?
I would never train with an American to fight with a Brazilian. I am not a slut, or a prostitute. We are we against the foreigners.

To see how Filho responds to such insightful questions as “What the Chael Sonnen finds of?” and “How the weight is?”, read on…

The UFC Hall-of-Famers whose blood and sweat carried the organization in its early days will act as coaches for a series of team MMA events to be held in Asia. According to MMA Weekly, Las Vegas-based Platinum Fighting Productions is organizing a tournament named “Ring of Fire,” which pits teams of five fighters (including one woman) against each other, with four preliminary events leading up to a final matchup between the two best teams. Along with Royce Gracie and Ken Shamrock, the other coaches will be UFC/PRIDE veteran Josh Barnett and Armenian-American submission grappling guru Gokor Chivichyan. The lineups will be:

Team Gracie: Cleber Luciano, Jorge Patino, Daniel Serafian, John Marsh, Katrine Alendal
Team Lion’s Den (Shamrock): Evan Dunham, Kyacey Uscola, Mike Whitehead, Ricco Rodriguez, Tonya Evinger
Team Barnett: Koji Oishi, Yuki Kondo, Renato “Babalu” Sobral, Jeff Monson, Ginele Marquez
Team Gokar: Karen Darabedyan, August Wallen, Rodney Faverus, Hakim Gouram, Amanda Buckner

The first event will take place on December 9th at the Araneta Coliseum in Quezon City, Philippines, and will feature Barnett’s team taking on Chivichyan’s. Future events will take place in Macau, Japan, and China; the final is slated for December 2008. Why this is being held on the other side of the world is anybody’s guess — it doesn’t seem to be the best move for a fledgling organization, marketing-wise, if a television broadcast is out of the question. Stay tuned for more details on this compelling, possibly bullshit event.

If you’re only a casual fan of MMA, you’d be forgiven for not knowing that Fedor Emelianenko has a younger brother who is covered with Russian prison tattoos, proudly sports a mullet, and is a total badass in his own right. Though Aleksander Emelianenko has suffered notable losses to Mirko “Cro Cop” Filopovic, Josh Barnett, and Fabricio Werdum, he was one of PRIDE’s brightest stars, and takes after his brother when it comes to his aggressive attack and heavy hands. Aleksander is possibly the only MMA fighter to ever score three consecutive knockouts in fights lasting less than 30 seconds, which he did against James Thompson (12 seconds), Ricardo Morais (15 seconds), and Rene Rooze (28 seconds) in 2004-5. For a taste of the fury, check out the videos below, which show his fight against Morais, and his most recent match against Dan Bobish, which took place last month at a Hardcore Championship Fighting event in Calgary.

(Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Ricardo Morais, 4/3/05)

(Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Dan Bobish, 10/19/07)

If you were avoiding computers and televisions as much as I was since Wednesday, you may also be unaware of the following:

— Josh Koscheck has been scheduled to fight at UFC 82 (which, as previously reported, will be headlined by a championship match between Anderson Silva and Dan Henderson). Koscheck’s last fight was a unanimous decision loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 74 in August. Though follow welterweight contender/American Kickboxing Academy teammate Jon Fitch is also scheduled to be on the UFC 82 card, the two are not expected to face each other.

— Matt Arroyo and George Sotiropoulos advanced to the semi-finals on The Ultimate Fighter, sending home Troy Mandaloniz and Richie Hightower, both via armbar. Matt Serra’s retarded logic principles prevented him from cornering his fighters during the matches, but he showed up to beat Hughes in the coaches’ challenge, out-bowling his rival in the final frame. In a heartbreaking display, Mandaloniz broke down in tears before his fight, then marched out to the ring wearing a t-shirt that said “I CAN”; unfortunately, he couldn’t. Richie shaved off his stupid mall-punk hair, and looked surprisingly tough in his match with George; instead of sobbing in his bunk bed a la John Kolosci, Richie actually looked encouraged after his loss. On the next episode, Ben Saunders takes on Tommy Speer, and a prank goes too far!

— Four bouts were made official for the TUF finale’s undercard.

— The IFL World Grand Prix Finals on 12/29 will air live on HDNet, as part of a new agreement that will have HDNet broadcasting IFL events starting next year.

— Chuck Liddell filmed this ridiculous/brilliant commercial for Dell:

John McCain in 1996: “[MMA is] a brutal and repugnant blood sport…that should not be allowed to take place anywhere in the U.S.”

John McCain in 2007: “The sport has grown up. The rules have been adopted to give its athletes better protections and to ensure fairer competition.”

Nice try, Senator, but no amount of pandering is going to pull us from the Kimbo Slice War Wagon to the Straight Talk Express.

As reported on MixFight.ru and Fight Opinion, a press conference was held in Japan today to shed more light on the MMA show headlined by Fedor Emelianenko on New Year’s Eve. The event will be “supported” by M-1 Global, and will feature Shinya Aoki, Mitsuhiro Ishida, Tatsuya Kawajiri, Gilbert Melendez, Hayato Mach Sakurai, Hidehiko Hasegawa, Ricardo Arona, Kazuo Misaki, Joachim Hansen and Luis Azeredo. The specific match-ups don’t seem to be announced yet, and as you’ve probably noticed, Hong Man Choi is suspiciously absent from the list. As the MixFight story says, “There are negotiations going on with other famous ex-Pride fighters who would contribute to the event,” and the show will be broadcast by SkyPerfecTV PPV. For another brilliant example of MMAFightline declaring things in headlines that are sourced nowhere in the article, go here.

According to MMAJunkie.com, Houston Alexander is already back in the gym with his coach Mick Doyle, trying to figure out what the hell went wrong on Saturday night and how to prevent it from ever happening again. They’ll surely be watching this video on repeat, which shows just where things fell apart. Instead of coming out swinging in his usual wildman style, Alexander calmly stalked Thiago Silva at the start of the first round before falling into a clinch. From there, Silva’s Chute Boxe jiu-jitsu skills take over, and Alexander is brought to the mat and mounted. Referee Dan Miragliotta steps in when Alexander seems to lose consciousness, but lets Silva haul off a few more times just to be sure. Not that I blame him — I certainly wouldn’t want those Jersey savages hounding me about an early stoppage…

Like King George III and Hugh Grant before him, Michael Bisping is quickly establishing himself as a Brit who Americans love to hate. During a post-fight press conference, Bisping was asked how he felt about the way the crowd reacted to him during UFC 78. His witty response: “They can all go to hell.” Listen to the audio here. As Mr. Sunshine reports, “it did put a slight grimace on the face of UFC president Dana White, who was standing behind Bisping.” Though we imagine if Dana was in Bisping’s shoes, he’d probably say something more along the lines of “Basically, Jersey can go fuck itself.”

Be advised! Forrest Griffin and Ice-T’s wife Coco guest star on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit — tonight at 10/9c — as a possibly homicidal “ultimate fighter” and the woman who loves him. Detective Stabler better bring his A-game; you don’t just slap cuffs onto the man who tore apart “Shogun” Rua…

If you were bummed that Octagon Girl Ali Sonoma was M.I.A. during UFC 78, prepare to be even more bummed — the 23-year-old model has put down her ring cards for good. According to a blog entry on her MySpace page:

“I am no longer a ring girl for UFC…I am proud to say I am moving up to bigger and better things. There is always a time when you get comfortable at a job…you seem to lose focus on what your main goal is…I guess I got a little comfortable myself, of course, I loved the fights, loved the experience, but my real dream is to actually speak on camera, to act, not just shake my booty for the crowd. (even though it was a lot of fun while it lasted and I met some amazing people)”

This is truly a somber day. Let us celebrate Ali’s memory by gawking at some of her pictures, after the jump…

To see Cung Le kick ass, Sean Salmon get KTFO’d, and all of my predictions fall apart one by one, click here.

As reported here last month, the next season of NBC’s awful-behavior competition The Apprentice will be a celebrity edition featuring UFC star Tito Ortiz. The Associated Press has now reported that the season premiere is set for January 3rd, and the full cast of contestants has been officially announced. They are (in order of my own personal interest):

Tito Ortiz — UFC light-heavyweight with the super-heavyweight head
Gene Simmons — Kiss bassist/singer known for shameless branding, disturbingly long tongue
Lennox Lewis — Retired heavyweight boxing champion
Vincent Pastore — Big Pussy!
Stephen Baldwin — Born-again Christian, founder of Breakthrough Ministries, co-star of Bio-Dome
Tiffany Fallon — 2005 Playboy Playmate of the Year
Trace Adkins — Musical genius behind “Honky-Tonk Badonkadonk”
Nadia Comaneci — Romanian gymnast best-known for her perfect-10 pwnage of the uneven bars at the 1976 Olympics
Carol Alt — Model/actress/raw foodie
Jennie Finch — Sort-of-cute Olympic softball gold medalist
Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth — The ball-buster from season 1 of The Apprentice
Marilu Henner — Actress, diet shiller, host of America’s Ballroom Challenge
Piers Morgan — Poor man’s Simon Cowell on America’s Got Talent
Nely Galan — TV producer and Telemundo executive, and the only contestrant you’ve literally never heard of

The 14 celebs will compete in business-oriented tasks around New York City, and their performance will be judged by Donald and his Lil’ VeePees, Ivanka and Donald Jr. The grand prize won’t be a job with Donald Trump, but instead a $250,000 bonus to donate to their favorite charity. I know what you’re thinking — charity, right? — but at least it’ll be some good exposure for Kiss Kaskets.

Steroid accusations aside, Sean Sherk has had one of the most dominant careers in MMA. In 34 professional fights, he’s only lost twice, against superstars Matt Hughes and Georges St. Pierre. This fight from UFC 56 in November 2005 is Sherk’s only loss by stoppage, and his second-to-last appearance as a welterweight. As for St. Pierre, in two more matches he would be the UFC’s welterweight champion…

Pictured: Akihiro Gono’s pretzel-like armbar of Tamdan McCrory at UFC 78. The foot up the shorts is just there for added humilation.

(I’m only posting this picture because my Google image search for “moth flying out of wallet” was a total bust.)

Since the New Jersey State Athletic Control Board isn’t releasing fighter salaries for UFC 78 in order to maintain the fighters’ privacy, you’ll have to make do with the numbers from Friday’s Strikeforce event:

MIDDLEWEIGHT TOURNAMENT
Jorge Santiago [winner] ($15,000)
Trevor Prangley [finalist] ($30,000)
Falaniko Vitale ($20,000), Sean Salmon ($5,000)

MAIN CARD
Cung Le ($50,000) def. Sam Morgan ($10,000)
Alistair Overeem ($30,000) def. Paul Buentello ($20,000)
Lemont Davis ($3,000) def. Brian Schwartz ($30,000)
Anthony Ruiz ($3,500) def. Bobby Southworth ($10,000)
Luke Stewart ($10,000) def. Bryson Kamaka ($1,500)

UNDERCARD
Eric Lawson ($5,000) def. Josh Neal ($1,500)
Anthony Figueroa ($4,000) def. Pete Sabala ($1,000)
Alex Crispin ($4,500) def. Clint Coronel ($3,000)
Chris Drumm ($1,000) def. Evan Esguerra ($1,000)
Dennis Hallman ($10,000) def. Jeremiah Metcalf ($5,000)

These figures include win bonuses that ranged from $500 to $5,000, though the participants in the middleweight tournament all received a flat fee regardless of their performance. Man, that’s called “doing it for the love,” people…

Though the Potato was a pathetic 1-out-of-5 in his predictions for the night’s action, at least the sure thing came through, as rising superstar Cung Le ended Sam Morgan’s night with a vicious body kick at 1:58 into the third round. To watch the fight (with aggravatingly un-synced audio), click here, and to see a post-fight interview with Le, click here.

The rumors are true — Fedor Emelianenko will be fighting in Japan on New Year’s Eve, according to an announcement on Greg Savage’s Savage Radio Show. And now for the truly bizarre details…

— The fight will not be M-1 Global’s first event. Instead, the event is being organized by a Japanese outfit called Hustle Pro Wrestling. It looks like Fedor’s already taking advantage of the wiggle-room in his M-1 contract.

— His opponent will be Hong Man Choi. Choi is a 7’2″, 352-pound behemoth, who, according to MMA Junkie, “suffers from a rare disease that causes him to continue growing throughout his life.” Which must be really frustrating during weigh-ins.

— Choi built up a 12-3 record in the K-1 kickboxing league, but has only one MMA fight to his credit, a 16-second TKO victory over Bobby Ologun, who weighed nearly 150 pounds less than him.

— Choi was supposed to be Brock Lesnar’s first MMA opponent, at the K-1 Dynamite!! USA show in June, but the California State Athletic Commission wouldn’t clear him to fight, reportedly because of a benign tumor on his pituitary gland. Lesnar went on to cream replacement Min Soo Kim in 69 seconds, and we’re left to dream of what could have been…

In an announcement that almost makes up for how weak “Validation” was, former PRIDE champ / current UFC contender Dan Henderson has decided to drop down a weight division and face Anderson Silva for the UFC’s middleweight title; the long-rumored fight will be the main event of UFC 82, which goes down March 1st at Columbus, Ohio’s Nationwide Arena.

Henderson’s last fight (and first UFC fight in nine years) was a unanimous decision loss to light-heavyweight champ Quinton Jackson. According to Henderson, “Dana wanted me to drop down to 185 pounds, so I’ll have a few fights in that division but I think I’ll eventually get back up to 205.”

You know a UFC card is dull when John McCarthy, Herb Dean, Steve Mazzagatti, and Mario Yamasaki all have better things to do. No knock on the reffing abilities of Dan Miragliotta and Kevin Mulhall — or the lovely state of New Jersey — but nearly everything about UFC 78 was substandard, and every fighter proved that they weren’t quite ready for the big show. Let’s get through it…

[Lightweights] Frankie Edgar def. Spencer Fisher via unanimous decision

[Middleweights] Ed Herman def. Joe Doerksen via K.O. (punch, third round)

[Welterweights] Karo Parisyan def. Ryo Chonan via unanimous decision

[Light heavyweights] Thiago Silva def. Houston Alexander via TKO (punches, first round)

[Light heavyweights, main event] Rashad Evans def. Michael Bisping via split decision

Full report to come tomorrow, but here’s a sneak preview: This was the dullest and most disappointing UFC event I’ve ever seen. And that’s not just sour grapes because my prediction* turned out to be inaccurate. Name me one UFC card in the AF era that was worse than this one.

* If my dream wasn’t a foretelling, what do you think it meant? (There’s no “MMA” entry in my dream dictionary.) I’m open to all (most) suggestions.

“If you give me another hickey, I’ll choke the shit out of you.”

…and in this dream, Rashad Evans beat Michael Bisping in the first round, via TKO due to strikes. So, that will be my official prediction for their fight tonight.

It’s totally healthy that I dream about this stuff now, right?