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Tag: MMA

Kiril Sidelnikov, Of All People, Tests Positive for Steroids

Kiril Sidelnokov MMA steroids Paul Buentello
(Yeah, the doughy dude on the left. Crazy. Photo courtesy of Esther Lin.)

Bad news via MMA Mania:

Kirill Sidelnikov, who last competed at Affliction’s Day of Reckoning event on January 24, has been suspended for testing positive for Stanozolol. The suspension period is retroactive to the conclusion of the bout on January 24 and runs through January 18, 2010. He has been fined $2,500. The mere presence of Stanozolol in the system constitutes a violation under the new testing procedures for CSAC.

You may remember Sidelnikov as "Baby Fedor," the trusted Emelianenko training partner who went into a heavyweight match against Paul Buentello at Day of Reckoning looking like he should be competing at middleweight, and got raped. Between his performance and his appearance, he’d be the last guy we’d suspect of having a chemical advantage. And yet he pissed dirty for a synthetic anabolic steroid derived from testosterone. This world is full of surprises.

Dollars to donuts he’ll be using Tim Sylvia’s patented "I was only using it to trim my physique" defense, which will probably be good enough for him to compete again in Russian MMA leagues, where they don’t even care that Aleksander Emelianenko is competing with tainted blood. But from our view, this might cast some suspicion on Fedor himself. The WAMMA champ and his protege trained together every day — might he have been aware that Sidelnikov was cutting corners?

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Here It Is, Your Moment of Zen…


(Props: "Card" on the UG. Lots more robo-scraps here.)

Are you sitting down? Good — prepare to have your mind blown. When I started to watch this Japanese robot MMA video, I thought, okay, these little guys are going to throw haymakers until one of their heads pop up. I was not expecting the little gray one to duck the hook then shoot in for the single-leg takedown (1:01), then follow it up with a suplex (1:26). Classic striker vs. grappler battle here. Alright, so it gets a little sloppy after a while, but the PRIDE victory music makes up for it. Skip to 3:42 for another epic slam, and if you watch to end, you’ll see that even in robot fights, the Japanese are fond of their freak shows.

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Nicht Schlect: Franklin vs. Silva Ist Der Main Event at UFC 99


(Sometimes Wanderlei uses Lil’ Wanderlei to say things he can’t, such as ‘I’m sorry,’ and ‘I love you,’ and ‘What’s this catchweight shit about?’)

UFC.com today officially announced Rich Franklin/Wanderlei Silva as the main event for UFC 99 in Cologne, Germany on UFC 99, which has been dubbed “The Comeback.”  Yes, they already used that one for a season of “The Ultimate Fighter,” but so what?  It’s Germany.  They’re too busy screwing around with soccer and modernist architecture to know what’s happening on American TV.

As previously rumored, the bout will take place at a catchweight of 195 pounds, which is kind of odd since both Franklin and Silva last fought at 205 pounds.  But it only seems to make no sense because you haven’t heard Dana White’s explanation yet:

“Everyone knows Rich moved up to light heavyweight a couple of fights ago while Wanderlei is planning on fighting at 185lbs from now on, but this fight is too exciting a match not to happen and both these guys deserve a ton of credit for taking this fight at 195lbs.”
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Videos: Danavlog 96.1, “From Russia With Love”

"Here we go. Bloggin’ again." So says Dana White after he and Lorenzo sell some snake oil to a group of Stanford Business students, telling them that their friendship is what has kept the UFC successful. Plus, it’s all about the ride. You can pretty much skip past 2:19-4:44, in which Lorenzo tells a convoluted shaggy dog story (literally/figuratively) which doesn’t really go anywhere. You can also skip through 4:45-6:00 in which Dana plays Pac-Man in his garage. Man, I can’t imagine what landed on the cutting-room floor this time around. Then, Dana’s daughter shows up in an Ed Hardy shirt (LOL, what a douchebag) and his son disses his baldness. A lot of family time, basically, ending with Dana and Lorenzo reunited and heading to Germany. In a way, this vlog entry is much like UFC 96 itself — only interesting if you’re a hardcore fan.

Below: Rejoice! Genghis Con has created a sequel to his groovy Fedor Emelianenko-based film The Last Russian Emperor. Chapter 2 focuses on Fedor’s last five victories (Hunt, Lindland, Choi, Sylvia, Arlovski), with some great behind-the-scenes footage peppered in. The exchange between Aleks and Andrei at the 6:13 mark FTW.

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It’s Official: Lesnar vs. Mir 2 @ UFC 98 on May 23rd

Brock Lesnar Frank Mir UFC 98 MMA
(Image courtesy of the UFC.)

From a new bulletin on UFC.com:

Las Vegas, NV (USA) – Long considered the most prestigious title in mixed martial arts, the UFC Heavyweight Championship currently rests in the hands of two men – Champion Brock Lesnar and interim belt holder Frank Mir. On Saturday, May 23rd, at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada, Lesnar and Mir will meet to not only determine an Undisputed UFC Heavyweight Champion, but to settle some very personal business they began in this same city over a year ago.
 
“Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir put on one of the most intense one round fights I’ve ever seen at UFC 81,” said UFC President Dana White, referring to Mir’s submission victory over Lesnar in February of 2008. “But when it was over, both guys saw things very differently. Lesnar blamed his loss on inexperience and being too aggressive, while Mir saw his win as a triumph of his technique, something he says will happen every time they fight. On May 23rd, each fighter has his chance to prove his point, and while a lot has happened for these two since that first fight, I know the rematch is going to be just as intense as the first one, especially considering that the winner walks away as the UFC Heavyweight Champion.”

This matchup has always been interesting because the position where Lesnar is the strongest (slugging from the top) alligns with the position where Mir is the strongest (subbing from the bottom). So it’ll be interesting to see if Brock opts for the same strategy this time around — taking Mir to the mat right away and trying to overwhelm him with ground-and-pound. As he learned at UFC 81, that’s a good way to get caught in a freak kneebar.  Could we be seeing an epic standup war in the rematch?

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Oh Hell No: Ken Shamrock to Face Bobby Lashley in Epic Squash Match?


(This must be what Bizarro World Ross Clifton looks like.)

Forget about the Ken Shamrock-Tank Abbott bout that you’ve been positively salivating over, because Bloody Elbow says Shamrock will get beaten up by former pro wrestler Bobby Lashley at Roy Jones Jr.’s “March Badness” event in Pensacola, Florida first.  Looks like you’ll have to wait a little longer for your dream fight, MMA fan who is stuck in 1996.

Lashley has only one pro fight so far, which might be reason enough for Shamrock — who is still riding high after his victory over morbidly obese tomato can Ross Clifton — to think he has a chance.

But does he really have a shot?  Of course not.  Lashley may be a newcomer to MMA, but he was a national wrestling champion in college.  In addition to that, he’s also a superb athlete and is not really old, slow, and suffering visible effects from years of beatings.  In other words, he has several crucial advantages over Shamrock.

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Warning: Fight Magazine/Cage Potato Party Essay Contest Ends Tomorrow!

Many of you have already submitted your entries to the Fight! Magazine/Cage Potato Pre-UFC 96 VIP party contest.  Looking through the forum thread, I have to say I’m impressed at the variety of methods you people came up with to prove your worthiness. 

Some of my favorites range from promising us drugs to telling us your sad, sad story to posting evidence of your frequent flier miles to pointing out that you are biologically a woman.  [Note: that last one may be rare and impressive enough by itself on an MMA forum, DutchAsFuck, but is much less so at a party with a ring girl contest going on.  Try again.]

As much as we’ve enjoyed hearing your pleas for fun, this must come to an end.  Tuesday we announce our winners, based on whatever the hell criteria we feel like, so get your entries in now if you haven’t already.  Hopefully that will give the lucky winners time enough to make the necessary plans while also allowing the rest of you to heal from the tremendous hurt you’ll have suffered.  And yes, if you win you will be permitted to bring one guest.  But choose wisely.  The friend you have who’s known for shooting tequila and puking on himself?  Even though you guys have been bros since fifth grade, maybe it’s best to leave him at home for this one.

The good news is that even if you don’t win you can still meet up with us when the club opens to the public at 10 pm.  The ring girl contest is set to pop off at around 11 so you’ll still get to see the good stuff, and we may even have a t-shirt or two left to give out by then.  If that doesn’t entice you enough, I’ll leave you with this: what do all three UFC Octagon Girls have in common?  No, it isn’t daddy issues.  Well, maybe it is.  But more importantly they’ll all be partying with Cage Potato and Fight! Magazine this Friday night.  Where will you be?

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Shinya Aoki: Ugly Schoolgirl

Aoki Imanari MMA schoolgirl
(Photos courtesy of DreamOfficial via BloodyElbow)

How does one say "no homo" in Japanese? Shinya "Tobikan Judan" Aoki and Masakazu "Ashikan Judan" Imanari showed up to a recent media grappling session in costume for some reason, with Aoki dressed as a schoolgirl and his Nippon Top Team homeboy as some sort of lecherous gym teacher. Sources tell CagePotato that Imanari had originally planned to go as a tentacle monster, but thought it would be too subtle. Enjoy the pics…?

Aoki Imanari schoolgirl costume MMA Aoki Imanari schoolgirl uniform MMA Shinya Aoki Imanari schoolgirl MMA Aoki Masakazu Imanari school girl costume Japan MMA
Aoki Imanari Japanese schoolgirl uniform MMA Imanari Aoki Japanese schoolgirl costume MMA Imanari Aoki Japan MMA schoolgirl costume uniform Shinya Aoki Masakazu Imanari Japan MMA Japanese schoolgirl costume uniform

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Videos: Werdum Wants Kimbo, Galvao’s Off-Camera Seizure + More


(Props: World of MMA)

File under: Things that would be kind of amazing, but don’t have the slightest chance of actually happening. In this quickie interview with Fabricio Werdum, the former UFC heavyweight says his next fight will be for Strikeforce, likely in May (cool!), and his opponent "is possible, maybe, Kimbo" (oh no!). Throwing Ferg against a seasoned killer like Werdum seems to contradict Scott Coker’s previously stated plan to build Slice back up slowly, so we’re raising an eyebrow at this one. But for the record, Fab says that his gameplan would be to take Kimbo down and submit him. Smart thinking, player; you don’t want none of Kimbo in a stand-up war.

Below: Versus chose not to show the direct aftermath of Damacio Page’s Knockout of the Night over Marcos Galvao at WEC 39, and with good reason — Galvao was completely stiffened after the KO, and then suffered a brief seizure. Check out the gruesome fan-shot video below. Fortunately, Galvao was quickly released from the hospital with no apparent injuries, but it was a scary moment for the fighter and his supporters.


(Props: Fightlinker)

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Look Who’s Employed Again

 

When Ariel Helwani informed us that he was leaving MMA Rated – once the go-to spot for video interviews that often became instant internet classics, now an anemic shell of a website – amid hard financial times, we naturally assumed that this meant our Canadian friend would soon be reduced to selling fake Nikes and knock-off Affliction shirts in Times Square.  Then he got the job working on “UFC Primetime” and it seemed like things might be all right until production shut down following UFC 94 and he was forced to get some sleep and go back on his all Ramen Noodles diet.

But lo and behold, “The Franchise” is back in business.  We’re pleased to tell you that Helwani is now beefing up the MMA coverage at Versus.com.  That’s right, as in the people who air the WEC events you enjoy so much.  In other words, Helwani is working for The Man.  The good news?  The Man pays well, and on time.

He tells us that Versus.com will be covering the MMA world as a whole and not just the WEC, and we’re encouraged by the fact that they hired a real MMA journalist for the job and not some punk-ass corporate lackey.  If you want to check out Helwani’s first effort – a recap of last night’s WEC – you can read it here.  

Congrats, Ariel.  The Potato Nation looks forward to reading your work until you are inevitably fired for stealing office supplies and sexually harassing interns.  Should be a fun three weeks.

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