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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: MMA

It’s Official: Lesnar vs. Mir 2 @ UFC 98 on May 23rd

Brock Lesnar Frank Mir UFC 98 MMA
(Image courtesy of the UFC.)

From a new bulletin on UFC.com:

Las Vegas, NV (USA) – Long considered the most prestigious title in mixed martial arts, the UFC Heavyweight Championship currently rests in the hands of two men – Champion Brock Lesnar and interim belt holder Frank Mir. On Saturday, May 23rd, at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada, Lesnar and Mir will meet to not only determine an Undisputed UFC Heavyweight Champion, but to settle some very personal business they began in this same city over a year ago.
 
“Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir put on one of the most intense one round fights I’ve ever seen at UFC 81,” said UFC President Dana White, referring to Mir’s submission victory over Lesnar in February of 2008. “But when it was over, both guys saw things very differently. Lesnar blamed his loss on inexperience and being too aggressive, while Mir saw his win as a triumph of his technique, something he says will happen every time they fight. On May 23rd, each fighter has his chance to prove his point, and while a lot has happened for these two since that first fight, I know the rematch is going to be just as intense as the first one, especially considering that the winner walks away as the UFC Heavyweight Champion.”

This matchup has always been interesting because the position where Lesnar is the strongest (slugging from the top) alligns with the position where Mir is the strongest (subbing from the bottom). So it’ll be interesting to see if Brock opts for the same strategy this time around — taking Mir to the mat right away and trying to overwhelm him with ground-and-pound. As he learned at UFC 81, that’s a good way to get caught in a freak kneebar.  Could we be seeing an epic standup war in the rematch?

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Oh Hell No: Ken Shamrock to Face Bobby Lashley in Epic Squash Match?


(This must be what Bizarro World Ross Clifton looks like.)

Forget about the Ken Shamrock-Tank Abbott bout that you’ve been positively salivating over, because Bloody Elbow says Shamrock will get beaten up by former pro wrestler Bobby Lashley at Roy Jones Jr.’s “March Badness” event in Pensacola, Florida first.  Looks like you’ll have to wait a little longer for your dream fight, MMA fan who is stuck in 1996.

Lashley has only one pro fight so far, which might be reason enough for Shamrock — who is still riding high after his victory over morbidly obese tomato can Ross Clifton — to think he has a chance.

But does he really have a shot?  Of course not.  Lashley may be a newcomer to MMA, but he was a national wrestling champion in college.  In addition to that, he’s also a superb athlete and is not really old, slow, and suffering visible effects from years of beatings.  In other words, he has several crucial advantages over Shamrock.

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Warning: Fight Magazine/Cage Potato Party Essay Contest Ends Tomorrow!

Many of you have already submitted your entries to the Fight! Magazine/Cage Potato Pre-UFC 96 VIP party contest.  Looking through the forum thread, I have to say I’m impressed at the variety of methods you people came up with to prove your worthiness. 

Some of my favorites range from promising us drugs to telling us your sad, sad story to posting evidence of your frequent flier miles to pointing out that you are biologically a woman.  [Note: that last one may be rare and impressive enough by itself on an MMA forum, DutchAsFuck, but is much less so at a party with a ring girl contest going on.  Try again.]

As much as we’ve enjoyed hearing your pleas for fun, this must come to an end.  Tuesday we announce our winners, based on whatever the hell criteria we feel like, so get your entries in now if you haven’t already.  Hopefully that will give the lucky winners time enough to make the necessary plans while also allowing the rest of you to heal from the tremendous hurt you’ll have suffered.  And yes, if you win you will be permitted to bring one guest.  But choose wisely.  The friend you have who’s known for shooting tequila and puking on himself?  Even though you guys have been bros since fifth grade, maybe it’s best to leave him at home for this one.

The good news is that even if you don’t win you can still meet up with us when the club opens to the public at 10 pm.  The ring girl contest is set to pop off at around 11 so you’ll still get to see the good stuff, and we may even have a t-shirt or two left to give out by then.  If that doesn’t entice you enough, I’ll leave you with this: what do all three UFC Octagon Girls have in common?  No, it isn’t daddy issues.  Well, maybe it is.  But more importantly they’ll all be partying with Cage Potato and Fight! Magazine this Friday night.  Where will you be?

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Shinya Aoki: Ugly Schoolgirl

Aoki Imanari MMA schoolgirl
(Photos courtesy of DreamOfficial via BloodyElbow)

How does one say "no homo" in Japanese? Shinya "Tobikan Judan" Aoki and Masakazu "Ashikan Judan" Imanari showed up to a recent media grappling session in costume for some reason, with Aoki dressed as a schoolgirl and his Nippon Top Team homeboy as some sort of lecherous gym teacher. Sources tell CagePotato that Imanari had originally planned to go as a tentacle monster, but thought it would be too subtle. Enjoy the pics…?

Aoki Imanari schoolgirl costume MMA Aoki Imanari schoolgirl uniform MMA Shinya Aoki Imanari schoolgirl MMA Aoki Masakazu Imanari school girl costume Japan MMA
Aoki Imanari Japanese schoolgirl uniform MMA Imanari Aoki Japanese schoolgirl costume MMA Imanari Aoki Japan MMA schoolgirl costume uniform Shinya Aoki Masakazu Imanari Japan MMA Japanese schoolgirl costume uniform

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Videos: Werdum Wants Kimbo, Galvao’s Off-Camera Seizure + More


(Props: World of MMA)

File under: Things that would be kind of amazing, but don’t have the slightest chance of actually happening. In this quickie interview with Fabricio Werdum, the former UFC heavyweight says his next fight will be for Strikeforce, likely in May (cool!), and his opponent "is possible, maybe, Kimbo" (oh no!). Throwing Ferg against a seasoned killer like Werdum seems to contradict Scott Coker’s previously stated plan to build Slice back up slowly, so we’re raising an eyebrow at this one. But for the record, Fab says that his gameplan would be to take Kimbo down and submit him. Smart thinking, player; you don’t want none of Kimbo in a stand-up war.

Below: Versus chose not to show the direct aftermath of Damacio Page’s Knockout of the Night over Marcos Galvao at WEC 39, and with good reason — Galvao was completely stiffened after the KO, and then suffered a brief seizure. Check out the gruesome fan-shot video below. Fortunately, Galvao was quickly released from the hospital with no apparent injuries, but it was a scary moment for the fighter and his supporters.


(Props: Fightlinker)

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Look Who’s Employed Again

 

When Ariel Helwani informed us that he was leaving MMA Rated – once the go-to spot for video interviews that often became instant internet classics, now an anemic shell of a website – amid hard financial times, we naturally assumed that this meant our Canadian friend would soon be reduced to selling fake Nikes and knock-off Affliction shirts in Times Square.  Then he got the job working on “UFC Primetime” and it seemed like things might be all right until production shut down following UFC 94 and he was forced to get some sleep and go back on his all Ramen Noodles diet.

But lo and behold, “The Franchise” is back in business.  We’re pleased to tell you that Helwani is now beefing up the MMA coverage at Versus.com.  That’s right, as in the people who air the WEC events you enjoy so much.  In other words, Helwani is working for The Man.  The good news?  The Man pays well, and on time.

He tells us that Versus.com will be covering the MMA world as a whole and not just the WEC, and we’re encouraged by the fact that they hired a real MMA journalist for the job and not some punk-ass corporate lackey.  If you want to check out Helwani’s first effort – a recap of last night’s WEC – you can read it here.  

Congrats, Ariel.  The Potato Nation looks forward to reading your work until you are inevitably fired for stealing office supplies and sexually harassing interns.  Should be a fun three weeks.

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Betting Post-Mortem: WEC 39


(There’s my boy.  Photo courtesy of WEC.tv)

As some of you have noted in the comments to our Gambling Addiction Enabler series, following our betting advice seems likely to lead to financial ruin.  Weird, I know.  It’s almost as if you shouldn’t make financial decisions based on what you read for free on the internet while you’re supposed to be working.

But in an effort to bring accountability and transparency to the Gambling Addiction Enabler, here’s how I did following my own advice for WEC 39.

The Bet: $20 on Mike Brown at -185 (BetUs.com)
The Outcome: Won a cool $10.81 (plus, you know, my original twenty back). 
What I Learned:
Yes, I know I’m betting small here but it’s the WEC, which is basically the dog track of MMA.  You don’t want to blow hundreds of dollars on some greyhounds that will be euthanized four months from now, so to speak.  (To really lose your ass, you go to Santa Anita.  Which for the purposes of this ill-fated analogy, is the UFC.)  My faith in Brownie paid off here, albeit in meager fashion.  But I’m building my gambling fortune empire and like they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.  It also wasn’t built on twenty-dollar bets on guys who were favored at almost 2-1, but I’m conveniently ignoring that fact in order to savor this win.

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Dana White to Boston: “Jump Around, F*ckers”

Dana White Everlast DJ Lethal Giambi MMA UFC
(Dee-Dubs hangs out at Wasted Space with House of Pain’s DJ Lethal [top] and Everlast [in hat]. And some tool named Jason Giambi. Photo courtesy of VegasNews.)

From a press release posted this weekend on MixedMartialArts.com:

DANA WHITE BRINGS “PAIN” TO BOSTON ON ST. PATRICK’S DAY

Las Vegas, NV — On March 17th, UFC® President Dana White is headed back East to his Southie stomping grounds to throw the biggest St. Patrick’s Day party in Boston, featuring the first performance by House of Pain in over a decade. White and House of Pain will be taking over the Roxy for this invitation-only celebration, but today White announced he will open up a limited number of tickets to UFC® Fight Club™ members, and for local radio station giveaways.
 
“Obviously I love the city of Boston, I just filmed my new show ‘Black Souls’ there, so I’m going to throw a St. Patrick’s Day party with House of Pain at the Roxy,” said White. “House of Pain was one of my favorite bands when I lived there, and they are going to perform again for the first time in over a decade — I’m opening up a few hundred tickets to UFC Fight Club members and for local radio stations, so UFC fans in Boston can come hang with us on March 17th.”
 
The band “House of Pain” featuring lead singer Everlast, will rock the party, performing together for the first time since their breakup in 1996. White, who just wrapped production on a new television drama “Black Souls,” filmed entirely in Boston, will serve as host.
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Brown Smokes Garcia, Aldo and McCullough Score Wins at WEC 39


(Brown vs. Garcia)

If you didn’t believe it after he pulled out a first-round TKO over Urijah Faber in November, believe it now — Mike Brown is a freakin’ monster. Brown’s first featherweight title defense ended in quick, violent fashion, as the American Top Team fighter needed less than two minutes to pound #1 contender Leonard Garcia into helplessness, then end the fight with an arm-triangle choke from the top. Things looked bad for Garcia right away, with Brown smashing him to the mat with an overhand right just 18 seconds into round 1. From there, Brown worked some brutal ground-and-pound, bloodying Garcia’s face. Garcia was able to stave off a rear-naked choke attempt, but Brown relentlessly worked to finish the fight on the ground, and made Garcia tap at the 1:57 mark. After the fight, Brown picked up a $7,500 Submission of the Night bonus, and welcomed a rematch with Faber, calling it the fight that fans want to see the most.

Speaking of bonuses, bantamweight Damacio Page earned a $7,500 Knockout of the Night bump for his 18-second storming of Marcos Galvao — who, somewhat unsurprisingly, had to leave the cage on a stretcher — while Johny Hendricks and Alex Serdyukov each took home an extra $7,500 for their action-packed Fight of the Night, which Hendricks won in a unanimous decision despite a late comeback from Serdyukov. Hendricks vs. Serdyukov was the last welterweight match to be featured in the WEC; both fighters are rumored to move to the UFC.

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Josh Koscheck vs. Chris Wilson @ UFC 98 in May

Josh Koscheck UFC 95

Josh Koscheck isn’t letting a shocking upset slow down his brisk competition schedule. MMA Mania reports that the UFC welterweight sorta-contender will attempt to rebound from his knockout loss against Paulo "Seriously?" Thiago at UFC 98 (May 23rd, Las Vegas), where he’s scheduled to take on Team Quest fighter Chris Wilson; it will be Kos’s fourth fight in six months.

A veteran of the IFL and the Oregon-based SportFight league, Wilson has gone 1-2 since entering the UFC in 2008 and likely needs a win to keep his contract. Wilson lost his Octagon debut against Jon Fitch last March (where he was a short-notice replacement for Akihiro Gono), then won a unanimous decision over Steve Bruno in August, and most recently dropped a split-decision to John Howard in UFC 94′s "Fight of the Night." Six of Wilson’s last eight fights have gone to the judges.

As for Koscheck, he’d better do his research this time. And bringing back some of the wrestling that used to work so well for him in the past wouldn’t be such a terrible idea either.

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