Steroids in MMA
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Tag: Mohammed Lawal

Satire Sunday: Spuds McKenzie Guilty of Sexual Harassment, Sentenced to Nine Months Probation

DISCLAIMER: This feature is purely a satirical piece- you know, like the title explicitly states. Any references to real people and events are purely for comedic effect. Nothing you are about to read is actual news, and no quotes used in this article are authentic quotes. In short, don’t take anything you are about to read as a real news story.

Anheuser-Busch respects women, and would never support sexism in any way.

The family-friendly Anheuser-Busch corporation has just been turned upside down. Former Bud Light mascot Spuds MacKenzie has been found guilty in the state of Nevada of sexually harassing multiple women while employed by Anheuser-Busch. Furthermore, Anheuser-Busch is being investigated for its role in MacKenzie’s crimes, as victims say that the harassment was not only encouraged by fellow employees, but that the victims were vehemently discouraged from filing complaints while they were employed by the company.

The charges against MacKenzie read like the sex-depraved fantasies of a thirteen year old boy. Among them include the complaints of Carol Grey, who played the role of “Hot Blond Chick” in many Bud Light commercials. Grey revealed that MacKenzie would repeatedly order her to smack him on the ass during commercial shoots, as well as force her to publically praise MacKenzie’s sexual conquests on numerous occasions.

Shocking videos of the harassment available after the jump.


Fedor vs. Henderson (Unofficially) Officially Signed for July 30th Strikeforce Card

Different styles make for an interesting fight.

Though Zuffa officials have yet to announce the fight, reports that Dan Henderson and Fedor Emelianenko have officially signed bout agreements to face one another. This match-up has been in the works for a while now and will add some major firepower to the July 30th event at the Sears Center in Chicago.

This is a big fight for everyone involved. Following two consecutive stoppage losses to Fabricio Werdum and Antonio Silva, Fedor’s unbeatable mystique has been shattered. With Strikeforce’s top heavyweights competing in the Grand Prix Tournament from which he was exiled, this bout gives Fedor a shot at a meaningful win against a highly respected legend. After all the talk of his possible retirement from the sport, a victory here would prove that Fedor is still very relevant in the MMA landscape.


Exclusive: King Mo’ Doesn’t Want to Fight His ‘Brother’ Babalu; Says Fedor Can Be Beaten and He’s the Man to Do It

($10,000 for pouring an energy drink over my head? What would you fine Machida?)

We spoke with  Muhammed "King Mo’" Lawal at last weekend’s MMA Expo in Toronto and we asked him about the prospect of fighting friend and training partner Renato Sobral, should Babalu get past Robbie Lawler in the pair’s 195-pound catchweight bout tonight, and according to the Strikeforce light heavyweight champ, the fight will likely never happen.

"The thing is, Babalu is like my brother. I knew him before I started fighting and he was actually my favorite fighter when I first started to really follow the sport," explained Lawal. "I’ll fight anybody but him."


Videos: Quinton Jackson and King Mo Got Beef

(Props: FightLaunch via nyhcloyalty. Language NSFW.)

FightLaunch has just updated their YouTube page with about 20 different videos of Quinton "Rampage" Jackson and Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal talking shit to each other in a van on the way to an autograph signing at last weekend’s UFC Fan Expo. I don’t expect anybody to sift through all of this stuff so I’ll just start with the first one I came across (see above), which gives you a decent sense of what the feud is about.

Basically, Rampage said he was the best fighter in the world, and King Mo implied that it was in fact he who was the best fighter in the world — both completely valid points of view, by the way. Anyway, this angered Rampage, who points out that Mo hasn’t fought anybody of note. Mo says that Rampage used to bump gums when he was an up-and-comer too, and Rampage denies that he ever bumped gums to this extent. Rampage observes that "King Mo" is a fitting nickname, as royal families tend to be inbred. Then this Caucasian in the backseat starts singing "Kumbaya" like an idiot, and Rampage tells him to shut his white ass up. The white guy says something about being in the hood, and Rampage replies: "Yeah, your ass probably been in a hood, ya fuckin’ KKK-lookin’ motherfucka." Meanwhile, Bobby Lashley is sitting there smiling politely, just itching to get away from these psychos.

After the jump: King Mo first enters the van, and gets insulted about 30 times in 60 seconds. If you want to see more, go for it.