7 Jun 2012 15:00:47 PM
To get you in the mood for the brief, albeit saddening story we are about to tell you, you should first watch this. Now then…
Perhaps you are familiar with the tale of Henry Bemis, a lowly, nearly blind bank teller oft ridiculed for his near crippling obsession with the written word. Specifically, doggerel. Henry was a simple man, one who found more excitement in the whimsical tales of Charles Dickens than he did through actual interactions with his fellow man, a conundrum that had adverse effects on his occupation in more than a few instances. But what could he do? A passion is a passion, so in order to satisfy both his personal needs and his work requirements, Henry would often sneak into the bank’s vault during his lunch break and escape into whatever world his book of choice would provide for him.
On one such occasion, Henry happened to be reading the daily newspaper, which claimed that a new H-Bomb was “Capable of Total Destruction.” Before he could even grovel over such a morbid discovery, said bomb went off, killing not only everyone in the bank, but utterly destroying the entire planet. Left alone with only his thoughts, Henry decided to commit suicide via revolver to end his misery. But before he could do so, he found that the town’s library was amazingly still intact. Left with the quiet he so desperately craved, not to mention all the books he could read, Henry had basically found his utopia. That is, until he tripped and broke his glasses, rendering himself incapable of reading the very texts that he had found solitude in for as long as he could remember. Dooming him to a life of (literary) blue balls, if you will, and eventual suicide.
If recent history has indicated anything, it is that Aleksander Emelianenko is the living incarnation of the character portrayed by Burgess Meredith in that November 1959 episode of The Twilight Zone, and his most recent fight against Ibragim Magomedov at M-1 Challenge 33, which went down last night in Dzheirakh, Russia wrote this notion home with a resounding “Uuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhh….”
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