(Video courtesy of Vimeo/TheHammer)

MMA fans who have been waiting to see Matt Hamill’s biopic “The Hammer” will finally get their chance next week if they live in select cities where the film will be released.

The multi-film festival award winning movie which stars former UFC middleweight champ Rich Franklin, who will get a biopic of his own next year,  will be screened in 90 theatres in various U.S. cities starting on October 27, including New York, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Chicago, Detroit, Dallas, Houston, Austin, Seattle, and San Francisco. AMC, Rave Motion Pictures, Studio Movie Grill, UltraStar, Kirkorian, Goodrich, Santikos and Marcus Theatres will be just a few of the theatres showing the film.

(Hardy’s traps are big enough to catch a whale.)

If you’ve seen “Warrior,” you’ve no doubt noticed that Tom Hardy put on some serious muscle, especially in his monster traps,  to play the role of emo brother Tommy Conlon in the film. According to Men’s Health UK, the British-born actor actually put on about 30 pounds of lean mass by doing four strength workouts per day on top of his cardio, muay thai, jiu-jitsu and boxing workouts. Show off.

Although the movie was filmed nearly two years ago, Hardy has kept on most of his mass and even added some additional size for his upcoming role as “Bane” in “The Dark Knight Rises.”

Check out his unique workout, which was developed by former U.S. Marine Patrick “P-Nut” Monroe, after the jump.

("See Brett, if you just marry them first, they can’t be compelled to testify against you." PicProps: XtremeCouture)

With each new piece of news that emerges, it’s starting to feel more and more unlikely that we’ll ever see Randy Couture in the Octagon again. After a 12-month period that saw him go 3-0 in the UFC – with wins over Brandon Vera, Mark Coleman and James Toney  — and score significant screen time alongside Mickey Rourke’s man boobs, Steve Austin’s emotive grunting and Sly Stallone’s extremely troubling facial hair in “The Expendables,” Couture’s been playing it pretty coy these days about his status as an active fighter. Even though he won’t be making an official retirement announcement, he says he’ll only strap on the 4-ouncers for future fights that are “interesting” (read: winnable) enough. Now the 47-year-old’s non-fighting schedule could keep him busy until the Spring of next year.

Couture appeared on local Las Vegas radio recently – no family commitments to keep him occupied during the holidays, you understand – to reveal he’s landed a role alongside fellow baldster Bruce Willis in a movie that will film in early December and that he hopes everybody else can clear their calendars in time to crap out an “Expendables” sequel in March. With all that going on, Couture will have a very limited window in which to squeeze in any actual MMA before he turns 48 next June. Still, he maintains that if the UFC brings him something juicy, he’ll give it a sniff.

(Don’t worry, Gina. We won’t let Cyborg on the set.)

It appears that Cris Cyborg may have taken more than just Gina Carano’s Strikeforce belt when she beat the woman many consider to be the most popular female mixed martial arts fighter of all time last August.

She may have taken her will to fight as well.

360 days have passed since her last bout and while the MMA community holds its collective breath waiting for an update on when (or if) Carano will fight again, her former trainer, coach and cornerman Randy Couture isn’t convinced she’ll ever compete again.

(The war, she is hell.)

Here’s the explanation we were given to go along with this photo:

"Mixed Martial Arts star Andrei Arlovski is featured in the sequel of the iconic hit film UNIVERSAL SOLDIER. Stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren return as fight-to-the-death enemies in "Universal Soldier: A New Beginning."  The film has just wrapped principal photography.”

But between us, we think that’s all a clever cover story.  That’s what the government would like you to believe.  But look in those eyes.  See the despair?  See the anguish?  That’s a man who has grown disillusioned with the world of pro fighting and has traveled into the future to join some totally sweet army of motocross riders with machine guns who do battle with aliens or giant bugs or robots or something. 

At least that’s our take.  We’ll let you decide which explanation sounds more plausible.

To commemorate the DVD release of Never Surrender on April 28th, LionsGate has given us five copies of the flick to give away to you wonderful people. Hit us with the plot summary, IMDb:

So it’s kind of like this, but with higher production values and a cast of actual MMA stars (Georges St. Pierre, BJ Penn, Anderson Silva, Quinton Jackson, and Heath Herring). You know you want to see that. And to score a copy of the movie, all you have to do is come up with an entertaining caption to the photo after the jump…

Remember that awful movie starring the powerhouse acting duo of Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz?  Sure you do, it’s called “Zombie Strippers!” and reading the plot synopsis alone is guaranteed to lower your IQ.  But give Spike TV credit, they recognize when something is so terrible that it’s actually enjoyable (as if the fact that the movie has an exclamation point in its title isn’t a dead giveaway). 

That’s why they’re premiering the movie this Sunday night, and making absolutely no bones about how horrible it is with this press release they sent out today:

New York, NY, April 15, 2009 – Described as a combination of "Citizen Kane" meets "The Godfather" meets "A River Runs Through It," Spike TV presents the world television premiere of the sweeping epic "Zombie Strippers!" on Sunday, April 19 (10:00pm-12:00am ET/PT).

(Nolte as Four-Leaf Tayback in Tropic Thunder. Photo courtesy of IMDb.)

Could it be? An MMA movie that doesn’t involve an "underground fighting league" or one-armed combat? And it stars the lovably grizzled Nick Nolte? Color us interested. MMA Payout passes along this Variety.com report:

Okay, so shades of Ken and Frank Shamrock, maybe, with the brother vs. brother thing. But here’s another sign that the movie could be worth a damn: Director Gavin O’Connor, who previously helmed Miracle and Pride and Glory, was the executive producer of The Smashing Machine, the landmark documentary about MMA cautionary tale Mark Kerr. So he knows the sport, and would likely bring an authentic point-of-view to his new project. Back in October, O’Connor gave a more detailed synopsis of the film to Premiere:

(Dignity is spelled, "K-I-M-B-O.")

Remember when we posted this picture and wondered aloud, ‘WTF?’  Well, Fightlinker has discovered the answer and it has left us exclaiming ‘WTF!?’

Turns out the picture was from a porn movie that features a cameo from Mr. Kimbo Slice.  The title of this porn movie is “Farold & Fumar Escape to the Bottomless Party” (link is obviously NSFW, unless you work at Hustler, and if you do, are you guys hiring?).  It is a predictably half-assed rip-off of “Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay,” which is itself already a half-assed attempt at a sequel to a half-assed attempt at a movie.

Kimbo plays a Gitmo guard by the name of Big Bud.  We know this because he shows up on screen and says, “What’s up bitches?  Hey bitches, I’m Big Bud.”  And his delivery is bad even for a porn movie.

Yeah, I think it’s safe to say Kimbo ain’t getting that part in the A-Team movie.  But the porn rip-off of the A-Team movie (entitled “Anal Team,” obviously) he’s a shoe-in for that.

If Affliction’s Fedor Emelianenko-Andrei Arlovski main event at “Day of Reckoning” this Saturday doesn’t draw as well as expected, you certainly can’t blame a lack of video hype.  Above is a preview for what is being billed as a documentary called “Fedor: Baddest Man on the Planet,” which will air on Fox Sports Net Tuesday night.  It’s important to note that this was put together by the people from M-1, so don’t expect a warts-and-all look at Emelianenko.  More like a really long commercial or an extended version of the "Arlovski 360" hype videos.  Speaking of which…

…here’s the latest installment, in which “The Pitbull” explains his plan to “fight like lightweight.”  We also get to hear more people talk about how great Arlovski is, how hard he trains, etc.  This is the fifth episode.  We get it.  He trains hard.  He’s a good fighter.  It’s not as if it becomes more true the more people you can find who are willing to say it on camera.

After the jump, Gilbert Yvel explains to “Inside MMA” why he punched that referee.  The short version?  It was wrong, but the ref was a dick.

(When you see it, you’ll shit bricks. Image courtesy of FilmDrunk.)

You thought Never Back Down was hardcore? Bro, you have no idea. FilmDrunk gives us the heads-up about another sure-to-be-amazing MMA-related movie in production, which is called, simply, Fighting. No, it’s not about professional mixed martial artists working their asses off to break through in the most demanding sport on Earth, because how boring would that be? It’s about an underground fight league, and it stars a pretty-boy named Channing Tatum. Dig the plot synopsis:

* I was surprised enough when Djimon Housou signed on for NBD. How did they convince the Oscar-nominated Howard to play a street hustler in a teenybopper fighting flick? Was he worried that he was becoming too well-respected?

** "Ay mayn, I saw the kimura-lock you put on that crackhead. You could go places with that shit."

*** No they don’t. This "underground fighting circuit" fantasy has been portrayed in countless movies, at least since Lionheart, and it needs to end. We have above-ground fighting circuits now, and they really exist, and they’re awesome.

(I blame you for this, Samuel L. Jackson hat.)

All that waiting just to see Randy Couture in the Octagon again, and now after one fight he looks to be headed back to the glorious world of film, where people only pretend to punch you in the face. 

Sylvester Stallone has revealed that Couture will appear in his upcoming movie “The Expendables,” which begins filming this March in Brazil.  The film – a charming little tale about a group of mercenaries who must infiltrate a South American country to overthrow an evil dictator – was written by Stallone and will also be directed by him.

Couture joins an all-star action movie cast that includes Dolph Lundgren, Jet Lei, Jason Statham, and even…wait for it…Forrest Whitaker.  Ghost Dog, son!  How could this not be good?  

If the name of the movie seems familiar in a Stallone context, that’s probably because you’ve seen “Rambo: First Blood Part II,” in which the titular character explains to his improbably attractive Vietnamese friend what the word expendable means: “It’s like someone invites you to a party and you don’t show up?  It doesn’t really matter.”

Sly wrote that script too, so just imagine what’s in store for us when “The Expendables” finally hits screens in 2010.  

(Props: Yardbarker.com)

Holy crap, you guys. Here’s the first trailer for Never Surrender, which stars Georges St. Pierre, Anderson Silva, BJ Penn, Heath Herring, and Quinton Jackson. Judging from the preview, the movie seems to be about UFC stars kicking people. But according to the plot summary on IMDb, there’s more to it than that:

Never Surrender is an erotically charged [Ed. note: seriously?], controversial action-thriller set in the world of underground street fighting where an MMA fighter who has been drawn into the world by an erotic [Ed. note: there's that word again!] and sexy promoter, quickly realizes that there is no way out, other than death.

Erotic and sexy, huh? Might this mysterious promoter be based on Gary Shaw, perhaps? Never Surrender is written and directed by Hector Echavarria, and will hit theaters in the Spring. Someday a smart filmmaker will make a good movie about above-ground street fighting, but for now this will have to do.

After the jump: A new promo for WEC 37, where Frank Mir talks about what a beast Miguel Torres is. The clip they show at 0:39-0:42 is just one of the reasons that Torres’s most recent fight against Yoshiro Maeda was immediately hailed as a fight-of-the-year candidate.

(Props: UGO.com’s movie blog)

Behold, a first look at Rich Franklin in the much-anticipated action film Cyborg Soldier. As near as I can figure, the film is about a cyborg soldier who has to help Kelly Kapowski save Zach Morris from the evil Mr. Belding, who is also a cyborg.

Unfortunately, the trailer only shows us brief glimpses of Ace’s acting skillz, but based on those glimpses I think it’s fair to say that he won’t be abandoning the fight game to do Henry V any time soon. It doesn’t help to play opposite Kelly Kapowski, who as we all know is one of the great talents of our time, nor does it help to play a cyborg, which is a tough, tough role. And how does Rich communicate his cyborgness in this film? By keeping his movements stilted and his face expressionless. Acting!

The DVD drops on October 7, and we’ll be the ones sleeping on the loading dock at Wal-Mart so we can be the first to get a copy. Rumor has it that the sequel, coming out in the spring, co-stars Anderson Silva and is entitled “Death of Cyborg Soldier.”

(Reflecting on what might have been.)

Of all the incredulous claims about Kimbo Slice‘s future, it’s starting to seem like very few of them are going to pan out. Though Si.com reported that former Boston police officer Sean Gannon was the front runner to become Slice’s next opponent on the October 4 CBS show, Elite XC’s Jared Shaw told Five Ounces of Pain that the bout definitely won’t be happening. You could interpret this as a sign that Elite XC has officially gotten their collective mind right when it comes to Kimbo Slice matchmaking, but Sam Caplan says the fight was scratched not because it’s a pointless circus bout, but because of Gannon’s “financial demands.”

In other words, Elite XC is perfectly willing to bring YouTube quality fights to network TV, but only if they can do it cheap. Looks like we’re back to either Ken Shamrock or Brett Rogers.

Outside the cage, it looks as if Kimbo will no longer be co-starring with Hulk Hogan in the lovable 3-D children’s film “Kung Fu U.” According to the Wall Street Journal’s Market Watch, things fell apart “due to a misunderstanding among the agents involved with the Kimbo Slice deal” and Stereo Vision has since retracted their press release.

You know what that means? There’s a spot open in a hot new 3-D martial arts movie, and you get to play opposite Hulk Hogan, of “Mr. Nanny” fame! Get those audition tapes ready. Try to make them better than this one.

(‘Get your narrow asses into that theater and see my damn movie.’)

I actually wrote that headline about a year ago after suffering through a long bout of insomnia. I was delirious and running around in nothing but a pair of waders and a replica L.A. Rams helmet, and without knowing what the words meant I carved them into the wall of my bedroom with a rusty nail. It was a very dark time for me. Never did I think my prophecy would come to pass. Now I fear I’ve somehow brought this down upon our heads by inadvertently calling upon Gods that are both too powerful and too cruel.

According to media sources, Kimbo Slice and Hulk Hogan are set to co-star in a martial arts children’s comedy entitled, “Kung Fu U”.

It’s about a group of nerdy kids who are sent to a special school (Kung Fu U, we presume) to learn fighting skills that will help them stand up to bullies. Their instructors, played by Slice and Hogan, help them out, and in turn the kids help them by teaching some bullshit lessons about their bullshit lives. And who’s behind this? How about Stereo Vision, which is chaired by “Baywatch” creator David Schwartz, a man who knows better than anyone how to grab onto the zeitgeist and ride it for all it’s worth:

“We’re very happy to have Kimbo Slice co-starring in ‘Kung Fu U.’ He has an enormous media presence, and he’ll fit right in with our star Hulk Hogan, and the other cast members in our made for kids 3D movie. We hope to have ‘Kung Fu U’ in 3D in theatres by the fall of ’09.”

Oh, good. It’s in 3D. For a minute there I was concerned that this children’s movie starring a former pro wrestler and a former bodyguard for internet pornographers might turn out to be a horrible fiasco. But no, 3D. That’s how all the quality films are done. Just look at “Captain EO”.

Aren’t you usually supposed to wait until you’re a top-ranked fighter before you start indulging in the kinds of distractions that will eventually pull you away from the fight game? Isn’t that typically how it goes? Perhaps times have changed. They must have, because for once Hulk Hogan is poised to be the veteran actor on the set. One can only imagine his advice for Kimbo on how to really locate and understand the motivations of your character, brother.

We’re not going to dignify this clip by going to IMDb and finding out the movie’s actual title, plot, and year of release, so we’ll just say that Randy Couture and Frank Shamrock got together at some point to film a remake of Never Back Down, with all the teenagers replaced by 40-year-olds. We defy you to watch this ten-minute highlight-reel without grinning your ass off. The way Randy kicks over the bench at the 0:58 mark makes me LMFAO every time. We can only hope that Rise of the Akkadian turns out half as good. Anyway, if you’re interested, there’s more…

“El Guapo” teaches Never Back Down star Sean Faris (the good guy!) how to block punches and kick like a mule on ‘roids. Pay attention, and you’ll be able to stand up to any A-hole rich kid who holds unsanctioned MMA matches in the backyard of his parents’ mansion.

Our favorite author makes an appearance in the upcoming Owen Wilson flick, Drillbit Taylor. Blink and you’ll miss it. Seriously…

Wonder how many takes it took to get a coherent performance from Chuck?

MMA-related movies have been coming out of the woodwork lately and among the viewing choices are the David Mamet project Red Belt, the Gary Busey-starring Beyond The Ring, Frank Shamrock‘s Red Canvas, and this Friday’s teen MMA whathaveyou Never Back Down. We had refrained from endorsing any of these films, although a new one has emerged that certainly looks like the front runner for our stamp of approval.

This can be nothing short of fantastic.

(The following is to be read in the voice of Don LaFontaine)

Two boys, whose lives took two very different paths…

One became a champion, adored by millions…

The other, a thief who’s never played by the rules…

But they’ll have to work together to stop a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top…

[Cut to montage soundtracked by pounding drums, with brief shots of car chases, sex scenes, and naked bathhouse knife-fights edited together faster and faster until it ends with the sound/image of a gunshot]

[Cut to shot of Aleksander Emelianenko, who holds a lit cigarette over a pool of gasoline, says "The devil never sleeps," then drops it]

Fedor Emelianenko and Aleksander Emelianenko star in…