movies

(Props: Fightlinker)

Bob Sapp has lent his hulking, cartoonish presence to such critically acclaimed films as Big Stan and Elektra, but his next movie, titled Frankenhood, could be his biggest challenge yet. DreadCentral (via Fightlinker) gots da synopsis:

Holy Fucking Shit. It's like a Tracy Jordan movie, but real. It's also worth mentioning that the director of Frankenhood is a man named Blaxwell Smart, which I'm convinced is just a pseudonym for Ron Howard.

You have to give Bob credit — the man has never been afraid to humiliate himself for money. But here's the problem: Who would look at Sapp's dead body and think "basketball ringer"? He's about as tall as a shooting-guard, and on the wrong side of 350 pounds. When Michael J. Fox put on the fur suit in Teen Wolf and started dunking on fools, I was like, "yeah, I can see that happening." Now cut to the set of Frankenhood, where a dangerously winded Bob Sapp is sucking an oxygen mask after doing one take of a scene where he has to zombie-walk downcourt.

Another question: What are Motown and Darius going to do with that $25,000 prize to turn their lives around? (Don't say "scratch tickets.") And what will happen to their mutant friend after they've achieved their goal? Are they just going to rip out his battery and shove him in the dumpster? Can JB Smoove possibly save this wreck? Will Tyler Perry direct the sequel? Is it weird that I kind of want to rent this movie to see how it plays out?

(Just one of the reasons why you should rent "The Story of Ricky" immediately.)

Long before we became obsessed with MMA, martial arts flicks satisfied our thirst for blood. We now pay tribute to the best of the best — and the kickass fight scenes and iconic stars that made these movies so essential. Click the links for video clips, and let us know how you feel in the comments section...

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10. Kickboxer (1989)

Say what you will about Kickboxer, but it delivers what it promises. Jean-Claude Van Damme plays Kurt Sloane, the European-accented brother to an American kickboxing champion (?) who travels to Thailand only to be paralyzed by the vicious Tong Po. It isn’t until Sloane seeks out the wisdom and awesomely unorthodox training of Xian Chow that he is ready to seek revenge in a brutal underground match that features no shortage of broken glass-encrusted fists and long, drawn-out screams.

Best Ass-Kicking: How do you prepare for the fight of your life? By getting drunk and beating up bar patrons while dancing horribly in pleated pants. How else?

Classic Quote: “I tell them you say they no good fighters... and that their mothers have sex with mules.” (Xian Chow)

9. The Legend of Drunken Master aka Drunken Master II (1994)

Widely considered to be Jackie Chan's masterwork, The Legend of Drunken Master centers on a good-natured devotee of "drunken boxing," who — like Popeye with his spinach — becomes an unstoppable force whenever he gets some booze in him. It's a perfect representation of Chan's trademark mix of slapstick comedy, white-knuckle stunts, and machine gun-paced kung fu, and the climactic eight-minute sequence is possibly the most astounding piece of fight choreography committed to film. If the whole movie was like that, Drunken Master would be much higher on our list. Unfortunately there's a lot of filler about ginseng roots and Western imperialism that you have to wade through to get to the good stuff.

Best ass-kicking: The aforementioned final fight between Wong Fei-hung (Chan) and the movie's two villains, which features fire-breathing, an attempted chin-in-eye submission, and some truly diabolical feats of agility.

Classic quote: "What does it mean when there's a picture of a skull?" "Good Stuff!" (Mrs. Wong and Wong Fei-hung)

8. The Protector (2005)

These days, Tony Jaa is the only action star worth watching. His films are marked by a high-impact ultra-realism, due to the fact that he's genuinely kicking the shit out of his unfortunate co-stars. (Like Jackie Chan, Jaa also foregoes the use of wires and body-doubles.) In The Protector, he plays Kham, a man trained in Muay Thai as a guard/caretaker of his family's sacred elephants. When his father is murdered and their prize elephant is stolen by a smuggling ring, Kham is sent into a kill-crazy rampage for justice. From his vicious arm-breaking spree near the end of the movie to his face-off against a pack of roided-out man-freaks, it's a thrilling showcase of Jaa's awe-inspiring abilities.

Best ass-kicking: The monumental tracking shot as Kham makes his way to the hideout of the smugglers. Four minutes of uninterrupted destruction, with no camera cuts — an absolute must-see.

Classic quote: "He came from Thailand; a stranger who lived by a code of honor that we have all but forgotten. His were the old ways, and there were those who mocked him for it. But his was the right path. The just path. And for me, he will always be a hero." (Mark)

I don't think I've sat through a fight-flick since Ong-Bak (Jaa ftw!), but this is straight-up historic — Jackie and Jet on the same set, battling for cinematic kung-fu dominance. The Forbidden Kingdom hits theaters on April 18th, but you can get a taste right now by watching the fight scene above and the official trailer here.

More must-see video goodness after the jump.

A trailer has been released for the upcoming MMA-themed movie Redbelt, which was written and directed by David Mamet and co-stars Randy Couture. We tried to sum up the plot in our post about Caroline de Souza Correa, but it's even weirder then we thought. Basically, Chiwetel Ejiofor plays this Art of War-quoting MMA instructor who likes to run a drill in which students have to fight with one arm tied to their body. So then, Joe Mantegna and Ricky Jay take his idea and turn it into the basis of a new MMA league. (Cripes, did Bob Meyrowitz do script supervision on this one?) Ejiofor gets pissed, especially when he learns that the game is rigged! For viewers who aren't familiar with mixed martial arts, it could get a pass; for the rest of us, it kind of feels like hokey, artificial bullshit. Witness:

We're somewhat willing to reserve judgment at this point, but we have a feeling Redbelt will fall far short of Mamet's previous work:

(Props: MMA Mania)

PunchDrunkGamer.com has a new interview with Cung Le in which the undefeated Strikeforce star reveals that his fight with middleweight champion Frank Shamrock is slated for March 29th, and that the UFC has approached him to fight in the Octagon — but hasn't made an offer juicy enough to lure him away from his current home.

More notably, Le is positioning himself to be the next martial arts action movie star. As he discusses in the interview, he was recently cast in the film version of the video game series Tekken, and just finished shooting a starring role in a movie called Blizhniy Boy: The Ultimate Fighter with David Carradine, Gary Busey and BOLO FUCKING LEUNG. Yes, that might be the best assembled cast in action movie history, but unfortunately, the film itself looks kinda cheesy. Check out the trailer:

Right, so it's a low budget flick with a name that no American would be able to pronounce. But Le is realistic about the experience: "I don't mind starting with smaller production movies. It will help me later on in my career having the guidance of the veteran actors on the shoots." And how did Le land the role? Well, funny story: