“Don’t call it a comeback! No seriously, don’t – I plan on pulling out of my next fight.”

Not to be outdone by One FC, last night’s hilariously named Best of the Best event in Belem, Brazil saw Murilo Rua and Paulo Filho come out of retirement for a pointless, irrelevant rematch. On paper, it’s pretty sad and kind of scary to see Murilo Rua, who looked completely washed up in his retirement fight against Tom Watson at last year’s BAMMA 6, step in the cage for one final fight. But his opponent is Paulo Filho, so it’ll be a small miracle if the troubled Rohypnol loving Brazilian even shows up, yet alone shows up in shape and ready to fight, right? Things can’t get too ugly for Ninja, can they?

Dude…you have no idea. Rua manages to do dick before getting tagged repeatedly by Filho’s sloppy haymakers, which were eerily reminiscent of this. The fight is mercifully stopped just forty eight seconds in, yet the internet is still crying early stoppage. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m okay with letting this one end while Ninja can still brush his teeth without assistance.

Props to Zombie Prophet for the video.

(Tom Watson vs. Murilo Rua)

If you’re here to read about Murilo Rua running through Tom Watson to claim the Bamma Middleweight strap, have a seat, we need to talk. “Ninja” looked content to stand and bang with Watson early on, but he was clearly getting the worst of the exchanges. By round two, the damage from Watson’s leg kick assault showed in every step Rua took. From there the hobbled fighter served as target practice for “Kong”, whose time at Tristar and Greg Jackson’s has clearly paid off. To his credit Ninja never stopped fighting, at least not until that head kick from Watson put him out on his feet. Following the third round TKO loss, Rua took to twitter to thank his family and friends for their support and to announce his retirement from MMA.

Video of the Trigg-Phillips fight, and full results, after the jump.

(Guy on the Right just got some competition. Props: Facebook.com/BigfootSilva)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Gus Johnson Signs With Fox but Stays With Showtime for MMA and Boxing (MMA Fighting)

- Maiquel Falcao Cut From UFC for ‘Legal Problems’ (5thRound)

- Dana White Stresses Personal Finance Management At 2011 Fighter Summit (MMA Convert)

- Jonathan Brookins out, Danny Downes in Against Jeremy Stephens at TUF 13 Finale (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Anthony Johnson Responds to Ben Askren Calling him a ‘Coward’ (MiddleEasy)

- Director Kahleem Poole-Tejada Talks About ‘New York MMA’ documentary (TheFightNerd)

- Exclusive Interview: Ninja Rua Expects a War Against Tom Watson at BAMMA 6 (LowKick)

- Management Break-Up Splits Jon Jones, Rashad Evans (NBC Sports MMA)

- Anderson Silva and the 10 Best Southpaws in MMA (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

(Radach and Lopes will step in with just nine days notice.)

With heavyweight Herschel Walker forced out of his planned December 4 Strikeforce bout with WEC veteran Scott Carson due to a deep cut he sustained training with Daniel Cormier on Friday, a light heavyweight scrap between usual middleweights Lucas Lopes and Benji Radach has been put together at the last minute to help fill in the dwindling Henderson vs. Babalu fight card.

Earlier in the week yet-to-be matched up Jesse Finney, who was originally slated to face Scott Smith before "Hands of Steel" was instead matched up with Strikeforce newcomer Paul Daley, was forced to bow out of the event due to an eye injury.

Sources close to the situation told CagePotato.com Thursday that Lopes (19-10), who is one of Finney’s training partners and holds a win over UFC standout Thiago Alves, has agreed to face Radach on the card. Radach (20-5), whose record includes wins over Murilo Rua and Gerald Harris, hasn’t fought since being knocked out by Smith last year, but he is a crafty veteran Lopes would regret taking lightly. 

Another source we spoke to informed us that Strikeforce was unable to find a suitable opponent in time for Carson, so the 4-1 veteran whose return to MMA after a nine-year absence in June was spoiled by a first round knock out by Lorenz Larkin.

(Props: Sherdog)

Inspiration to all women Kim Couture competed at Ring of Combat 32 in Atlantic City on Saturday, dropping a unanimous decision to Team Tiger Schulmann product Munah Holland, who was making her pro MMA debut. As captured in the photo above, the aftermath was eerily familiar. The loss dropped Couture’s record to 3-4, and comes just three weeks after her submission victory over Felicia Wells at an Absolute Action MMA event in Kentucky; Wells also had an 0-0 record going into the fight, just like Couture’s two previous opponents, Marianna Kheyfets (who Couture lost to by first-round submission) and Rosa Vizcarra. Couture’s spotty record against inexperienced fighters is very surprising, considering what a beast she is in training.

In other somewhat-depressing weekend MMA news…

(Video courtesy YouTube/WandFightTeam)

For the past several months fellow Brazilians have been rallying for Murilo "Ninja" Rua to be added to the UFC’s 185-pound roster.

Wanderlei Silva posted a video blog on YouTube last week asking UFC president, Dana White to sign the former PRIDE star to the organization.

Besides "The Axe Murderer," Ninja’s younger brother, UFC light heavyweight champion, Mauricio "Shogun" Rua as well as welterweight contender Paulo Thiago also appeared in the clip to express their support for Murilo, who is undefeated in his last four outings, being brought into the UFC’s middleweight mix.

Speaking with TATAME this week, Ninja says that the ultimate goal would be to join friends like Wand and Shogun in the UFC, but he isn’t banking on it happening without him proving that he deserves it.

“I see it from a positive perspective, but I’m fighting and doing my job. If one day I’ll fight for the UFC it’ll only be a consequence. I’ll wait and it’ll come," Rua explained. “[The UFC's middleweight division] is a great division; there are great fighters, it’s really hard, but I’ll try to be on my best to go for the belt. That’s my dream, my goal, and I want to deserve it. On the right time, I’ll join the UFC’s cast."

(Is the 10-point must system suitable for use in MMA?)

After re-watching the Impact FC bout between Denis Kang and Paulo Filho that ended in a split draw – the second notable MMA bout to do so in a month with the other being the WEC 49 bout between Jamie Varner and Kamal Shalorus – I couldn’t help but wonder why MMA continues to rely on a scoring system created and tailored for boxing judging.

When the majority of mixed martial arts organizations adopted the Unified Rules in 2000, along with the governing principles, each organization adopted the system known as the 10-point must system.

Under the guidelines of the 10-point must system, judges score each frame based on their accumulative points tally for the round. The winner of each round receives a score between seven and 10 depending on who won the round. If a round is deemed a tie, both combatants are assessed 10 points each by the judge who perceived the frame to be even. The problem with the system is, when used to score a three-round MMA bout, the likelihood of a fight ending in a draw is exponentially higher than in a 10-round boxing match.

(Murilo "Ninja" Rua wrecks Alex "The Brazilian Killa" Stiebling in 39 seconds. Fight starts at the 0:22 mark. Props to TheGarv. More videos to come…)

BITETTI COMBAT: NORDESTE 4 (9/12; Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
– Ricardo Arona def. Marvin Eastman via unanimous decision
– Paulo Filho def. Alex Schoenauer via unanimous decision
– Pedro Rizzo def. Jeff Monson via unanimous decision
– Murilo “Ninja” Rua def. Alex Stiebling via KO, 0:39 of round 1
– Milton Viera def. Luciano Azavedo via split decision
– Fabio Maldonado def. Vitor Miranda via unanimous decision
– Glover Texeira def. Leonardo Nascimento via submission (guillotine choke), 3:18 of round 1
– Luis Dutra Jr. def. Henrique Nogueira via TKO, round 1
– Cassiano Tytschyo def. Fausto Black via submission (guillotine choke), round 1
– Alexandre Pimentel def. Luciano “Izzy” Correa via unanimous decision

Spoiler alert: Ninja, Gina, Andrei, Jake, and Kimbo (!) are going to win, maybe all within the first round. If you’re curious about how exactly it’ll happen, read on. Hit that “more” link and refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest updates from the live CBS broadcast, comin’ atcha from the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida. Seriously though, this is about to be some lopsided shit. Grab some beers.

Get this: At about 6:20 p.m. ET, MMA Rated passed along the word that Ken Shamrock sustained a cut above his eye in the last 24 hours while training, forcing him to pull out of tonight’s main event against Kimbo Slice. Frank Shamrock — who is handling commentary tonight for CBS — actually volunteered to step in as a last-minute replacement, but he isn’t licensed to fight in Florida, so EliteXC instead had their eyes on KOTC brawler/UFC castoff Seth Petruzelli, who was supposed to face Aaron Rosa on tonight’s undercard. Then, MMA Rated reported that a very shady doctor was found who cleared Shamrock to fight around 7 p.m., saving “Heat” from one of the greatest Epic Fails in MMA history. Well, we hope. MMA Weekly now says that the fight has a 50/50 chance of happening. Other sources say the fight is 100% dunzo.

Update: Ariel Helwani tells Ben Fowlkes (who tells me) that Seth Petruzelli is 100% in as Ken’s replacement. Wow. On the bright side, Kimbo is finally fighting a legitimate heavyweight who isn’t riding an eight-fight losing streak. This should be interesting…

Update #2: “JM” wins the t-shirt. Shoot your address and size to feedback@cagepotato.com, brah.

(Murilo Rua and a devoted fan. Picture courtesy of Sherdog.)

— Murilo “Ninja” Rua, brother of UFC light-heavyweight Mauricio “Shogun” Rua and the former EliteXC middleweight champion, will face IFL standout Benji Radach at EliteXC’s October 4th card on CBS. Radach hasn’t fought since his loss to Matt Horwich at the IFL World Grand Prix Finals last December, while Rua is coming off a first-round TKO victory over Tony Bonello at EliteXC: The Return of the King in June. It will be the first in a three-fight EliteXC contract for the American Top Team trained Radach.

— Speaking of Shogun, the older Rua brother’s rumored match with Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is looking more likely.

— And speaking of the EliteXC middleweight title, a rematch between belt-holder Robbie Lawler and Joey Villasenor is nearly a done deal for EliteXC’s November 8th card on Showtime. Lawler and Villasenor previously met at PRIDE 32 in October ’06, where Lawler won via flying knee KO in just 22 seconds.

— Matt Lindland’s next Affliction fight will be against UFC/BodogFight/Strikeforce vet Trevor Prangley, at “Day of Reckoning” on October 11th in Las Vegas. It’s been a long layoff for Prangley, who hasn’t competed since Strikeforce’s “Four Men Enter, One Man Survives” middleweight tournament last November, where he defeated Falaniko Vitale then lost to Jorge Santiago.

— Former IFL middleweight champ Dan Miller will make his UFC debut at UFC Fight Night 15 (September 17th, Omaha) against Rob Kimmons, who most recently choked out Rob Yundt at the TUF 7 finale in June.

If you’re a fan of quick, one-sided demolitions, last night’s EliteXC: Return of the King card didn’t disappoint. In the main event, lightweight champ KJ Noons and top contender Yves Edwards sparred for the first thirty seconds of their bout before Noons caught Edwards with a jaw-punch that sent him to the mat. Noons leaped onto Edwards and started raining down blows like a man possessed by both Satan and PCP; the ref called it at the 48-second mark, and a dazed Edwards was left wondering what the hell had just happened.

Following the match, Nick Diaz — who weighed in a full nine pounds over his 160-pound limit for his earlier match against Mushin Corbbrey — stepped into the cage to confront the man who’d handed him his last loss at EliteXC: Renegade last November. In an apparent attempt to hype a re-match with Noons, Diaz (along with his brother Nate) mouthed off to Noons and stuck his middle fingers into the faces of Noons and his father. The Noonses lunged at the Diazes, but security intervened before things got out of hand. Amid a chorus of boos, Nick and Nate left the cage, their beloved middle fingers extended toward the crowd.

Diaz certainly had no reason to be cocky. Besides coming into the fight a full weight-class over Corbbrey (which Diaz is trying to blame on the ocean),
Diaz needed nearly all of the three scheduled rounds to put away an outmatched, outsized Corbbrey, which he finally did via strikes from the mount.

In other action, Murilo “Ninja” Rua made Tony Bonello pay for a seriously ill-advised guard-pull at the beginning of their match, dropping elbows and punches from the top until the fight was called, while Icon Sport middleweight champion Kala Kolohe Hose was quickly choked out in a non-title match by King of the Cage/Freestyle Cage Fighting vet Robert “Bubba” McDaniel. Full results are below, and a couple vids are after the jump, courtesy of MMAScraps.

MAIN CARD
K.J. Noons def. Yves Edwards via TKO, 0:48 of round 1
Nick Diaz def. Muhsin Corbbrey via TKO, 3:59 of round 3
Murilo Rua def. Tony Bonello via TKO, 3:16 of round 1
Dave Herman def. Ron Waterman via TKO, 2:19 of round 1
Rafael Feijao def. Wayne Cole via TKO, 2:47 of round 1

UNDERCARD
P.J. Dean and Dean Lista fought to a draw
Mike Aina def. Kaleo Kwan via unanimous decision
Mark Oshiro def. Chris Willems via submission (triangle choke), 2:12 of round 1
Robert McDaniel def. Kala Kolohe via submission (rear naked choke), 0:41 of round one

(Mayhem is not to be underestimated.)

Hat tip to BloodyElbow for alerting us that all three major MMA events this weekend are open for wagering at BetCris.com. Let’s run through the numbers…

EliteXC: Return of the King (June 14th; Honolulu, Hawaii; live on Showtime)
Yves Edwards (-130) vs. KJ Noons (even)
Nick Diaz (-450) vs. Mushin Corbbrey (+370)
Murilo Rua (-250) vs. Tony Bonello (+200)
Dave Herman (-155) vs. Ron Waterman (+125)
Rafael Feijao (-280) vs. Wayne Cole (+220)

Notes: Nick Diaz just got surgery to file down his sharp ocular bones, which is supposed to prevent his face from shredding so easily (and losing him another fight). Sounds dodgy to me, and it hasn’t yet been proven that the procedure was a practical success. With odds that wide and Diaz’s scar tissue still a question mark, we’d definitely throw a double-sawbuck on Corbbrey, who has shown some great submissions in his relatively brief career. Undefeated Australian King of the Cage vet Tony Bonello (16-0-1, 14 wins by submission) may also be a good underdog bet, even if the competition he’s faced is nowhere near the level of the guys that Ninja Rua has gone up against.

“Interview of the Day” honors go to Ariel Helwani at MMARated for drawing out the personality of notoriously introverted wallflower Phil Baroni. Some highlights from their chat:

Ariel Helwani: How did it feel to get back in the ring after a long layoff?
Phil Baroni: I felt like shit after about four minutes. I was out of shape (and) I didn’t train for seven months. (It’s) nobody’s fault but my own. Oh well, I made a mistake. Fuck it, I’ll take it out on Ninja. Poor Ninja.

Were you happy with your performance against Hose?
What the fuck do you think? Was I happy with my performance against Hose? What are you retarded?

Who would you like to fight after the Rua fight?
Man, I already told you, I’ll fight anybody. Anderson Silva because he is considered the man and that’s what I want to be.

Any interest in fighting Shamrock again?
Fuck yeah man. That fight is my dream rematch. That’s the fight I want to get back more than any.

You’ve trained with Kimbo Slice before, what are your thoughts on him?
He is a big, black, tough motherfucker. Could it be anymore obvious?

Any final words?
Go fuck yourselves. No I’m just kidding. I just want to thank everyone for their support. I’ve grown a lot over the years as a fighter and a person (and) my best years are yet to come. I’m still in this to be a world champion. I have a lot of fight left in me. Check me out on CBS May 31st when I will eat Ninja sushi for dinner.

Check out the rest of the article for more gems from the New York Bad Ass about his upcoming fight with Murilo Rua at CBS’s Saturday Night Fights show, steroids, injuries, and Frank Shamrock. To summarize, Baroni thinks Rua is a much tougher opponent than Hose, but it’s cool because conditioning makes champions. And clearly Baroni is going to be a cardio machine ten weeks after gassing in the first round against Hose. I mean, he’s going to make Lance Armstrong look like an overweight one-lunged asthmatic on a chain-smoking jag in Denver…

He may have gassed four rounds too early in his last fight, but Phil “New York Bad Ass” Baroni apparently did well enough to be offered a main card spot against Murilo “Ninja” Rua at EliteXC’s first CBS “Saturday Night Fights” show on May 31st. The older brother of Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, Murilo holds a 15-8-1 career record and was briefly EliteXC’s middleweight champion before losing the belt in his first title defense against Robbie Lawler. Coincidentally, Lawler will also be on the “Saturday Night Fights” card, facing Scott Smith in his first match since the Rua fight; he’d previously been inactive due to injuries. Kimbo Slice is still expected to headline the night against an opponent to be named later.

All we can say to Baroni is “good luck.” It’s not going to be easy to develop a pair of lungs by May, and Ninja definitely has the tools to take him out of his round 1 comfort zone. But his booking suggests that EliteXC is looking to stack their first CBS card with big personalities, and if he can stay on the treadmill until May, he might have a shot. Rua’s been knocked out in the first round before; maybe Baroni could make it happen again…

One of Kharitonov‘s best performances, from PRIDE Total Elimination in April 2004. What was expected to be mainly a grappling match between Sergei and Ninja turned into a wild slugfest, with both fighters throwing leather until Rua’s legs give out at the 1:58 mark. (Also check out Kharitonov’s butter-smooth judo toss at 0:50.) We can’t wait until this dude steps into the ring with Mirko…

(Rua, Norris & Rua: Attorneys at Roundhouse)

Chute Boxe, the legendary Brazilian muay thai/jiu-jitsu camp that has produced MMA stars including Anderson Silva, Wanderlei Silva, and brothers Mauricio and Murilo Rua, is finishing up negotiations to launch a satellite school in Los Angeles, according to MMA Weekly. Says Chute Boxe head coach Rafael Cordeiro:

“The plans are to make a two way road between L.A. and Curitiba and to maintain this high level training in Curitiba and in L.A. We want to put our boys to fight and train in both camps, Brazilian guys in L.A. and Americans going to Brazil to spend some time in our camp. This will elevate our athletes performance and at the same time we will recruit an excellent amount of new American and Latin athletes that are popping up in the U.S.A.”

Exact location and opening date for the school haven’t been announced yet.

It’s too bad this hasn’t happened sooner — how incredible would it be to have Chute Boxe go up against Xtreme Couture and Miletich Fighting Systems during the IFL’s 2008 season? I guess we’ll just have to wait until 2009 (assuming the IFL isn’t tits-up by then).

The L.A.-expansion announcement is the first bit of good news for Chute Boxe following a year that was marked by the departure of its most famous students, Wanderlei Silva and the Rua brothers among them. Speaking of whom…

U.K.-based MMA organization Cage Rage is putting on a thoroughly kickass show tomorrow, featuring Murilo “Ninja” Rua, Elvis Sinosic, Mark Weir, Neil Grove, and TUF3 alum Ross Pointon. Check out the full fight card here. I’d never heard of Rua’s opponent Xavier Foupa-Pokam (please keep your “fupa-poker” jokes to yourself), so I decided to search for a clip of him in action, which I’ve posted below. Rua might have his hands full, as Foupa-Pokam looks like a sharp striker who’s absolutely deadly once he falls on his ass. You should also keep an eye out for Neil Grove, a 4-0 heavyweight bruiser whose last two fights resulted in a 10-second knockout of James “The Colossus” Thompson (the video is below) and a 34-second TKO of Domagoj Ostojic. Cage Rage 24 can be seen live at ProElite.com PPV; the action kicks off at 1 p.m. ET.

(Xavier Foupa-Pokam vs. Alex Cook at Cage Rage 18, 9/30/06)

(Neil Grove vs. James Thompson at Cage Rage 22, 7/14/07)

I never thought there was much technique involved in the soccer kick, but in this clip, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua demonstrates the formerly-legal attack that served him well in his PRIDE career, with his older brother Murilo as his training dummy.

Speaking of Chute Boxe alums, Jose “Pele” Landi-Jons faces Jake “The Juggernaut” Ellenberger in the main event of tomorrow’s Extreme Fighting Challenge 5: Revolution, and the Chute Boxe USA website has some killer videos of Wanderlei Silva fighting in bare-knuckle vale tudo matches.