MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: Mystery

Help the Barn Cat Get Laid!

Tmc1
(Tamdan’s profile pic. Not sure if the serial killer vibe is working for you, bro.)

Tmc2
(The Barn Cat in his natural habitat.)

I could spend hours explaining why VH1′s The Pickup Artist was the most entertaining television series of last summer, but in the interest of brevity I’ll just say that the antics of Mystery and his gang of misfit swordsmen — in their quest to score choice poon despite their deeply ingrained social awkwardness and physical disadvantages — brought me a level of joy unmatched by any other reality show in TV history. It captured a world of seductive scumminess that I didn’t even know existed, and revealed techniques like “negging,” “multiple threading,” and “kino escalating” that I would definitely try out myself if my girlfriend wasn’t always right there, watching.

So imagine how psyched I was when I heard that TPA was coming back for a second season. And imagine how psyched I’ll be if UFC welterweight Tamdan “The Barn Cat” McCrory is one of the “Average Frustrated Chumps” looking to improve his pickup game on national television. Yes, Tamdan has thrown his hat into the ring on pickupartist2casting.com, creating a profile that you can vote on to increase his odds of making the cast. Below the nerdy photos is a questionnaire where McCrory describes his lack of success in bagging chicks. Some highlights:

While my dates usually end on at least a fair note, I usually never hang out with that girl again and I’m back to square one. Either I don’t pull the trigger, or they just lose interest and I don’t hear from them again; I’m not really sure what it is…

I am legitimately a contract UFC fighter. No joke, look me up (http://www.ufc.com/index.cfm?fa=fighter.detail&pid=654). It’s hard to believe I have so much going for me, but can never seem to get a girl. That and because of my appearance (I’m 6’4″, 180lbs and wear thick rimmed glasses), no one even believes me anyway. Everyone tells me to drop the fighter card, but even when I do it gets me nowhere. People get laid off of just knowing me, yet I never have a girl…

I have an extreme fear of rejection. I hate going out on a limb to impress someone, only to be shut down…I need to have the ability to break out of my shell, and be less reserved. I’m extremely socially awkward and have lot’s of anxiety when it comes to women. I usually have to have a few drinks before I can even start talking, and by that time, I just come off as buzzed idiot.

Man, doesn’t it just break your heart? If you have a moment, please vote and spread the word. The fate of Tamdan McCrory’s penis is in your hands…

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Fight Card, 10/29-11/4

Everything you need to know to start planning your week…

Tuesday, 10/30
CBS, who just paid tribute to Randy Couture on Shark, will feature the man himself as a guest star on The Unit, another series I’ve never seen. The show airs at 9 p.m., and Couture will reprise his role as “Sgt. Strickland.” Also, UFC 71 and 72 are released on DVD.

Wednesday, 10/31
It’s Halloween, and I’m dressing as Mystery. On The Ultimate Fighter, a frustrated, whiny Matt Hughes berates his team and asks them to give him one good reason why he should stay on the show as their coach. I think he learned that technique from Vince Lombardi.

Friday, 11/2
Attention drunks! Atlanta honky-tonk Wild Bill’s is hosting Wild Bill’s Fight Night 12, featuring Rhomez Brower, Brent Weedman, and an appearance by Forrest Griffin. Biker attire is prohibited.

Saturday, 11/3
Undefeated 19-year-old phenom Chris Horodecki headlines the 2007 IFL World Grand Prix at the Sears Centre in Hoffman Estates, IL, while the all-female MMA outfit Fatal Femmes Fighting comes to the Ontario Convention Center for “War of the Roses.”

Sunday, 11/4
Total Combat 24 goes down at Oceanside, CA’s Show Palace. Also, Stewie kills Lois on Family Guy.

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