(Hey Mario, is that some Jacks Links in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?)

By Jason Moles

When we next see Brock Lesnar, will it be in the Octagon or the squared circle? What did “Cowboy” Cerrone do with the beanie Nate Diaz handed him? Where in the world did this Jimy Hettes guy come from? None of these questions will be answered in this forum. Instead, you’ll learn which UFC 141 fighters’ stock to buy more of, sell off, or hold. Even if you’re still too hung over to remember what happened Friday night, you’ll still need to make a few fiscal moves to stay ahead of the curve. Remember, money never sleeps, kid. Now go make yourself a Bloody Mary then keep reading to kick off the New Year with sage advice about the MMA stock market.

Alistair Overeem – Buy it like they’re giving it away for free

It makes no difference whether you think “The Reem” is completely unstoppable or flat out overrated — when he fights, people watch. Casual fans will be enamored with Alistair Overeem because he looks good with his shirt off (at least that’s why I think Arianny make that face) and the hype that can be drummed up by Zuffa thanks to his Strikeforce, DREAM, and K1 titles. For the next few years, as long as he doesn’t piss hot for some tainted horsemeat, the “Demolition Man” will be a main event attraction that will only make him more valuable with time.

So it’s official: horse meat > beef jerky. (Photo: UFC.com)

There was a time when the UFC had trouble drumming up any interest at all in their heavyweight division—can you say ‘Arlovski vs. Buentello for the title!!!’?—but those days are long gone. One could point to the growth of the sport attracting big men from other sports, or credit training camps for churning out well-rounded fighters, but much of the interest in the revitalized division has been carried by the broad, skull-tatted shoulders of one man.

Brock Lesnar’s 2008 debut in the Octagon brought interest, intrigue, and—most importantly—eyeballs. Lots of them. Speculation over whether the big man could survive against a real fighter was rampant, but before long we were asking if anyone could survive in a real fight against him. He quickly smashed his way to the top of the 265 lb. heap, but his skid down that mountain was just as fast. Following two brutal, first-round losses to Cain Velasquez and Alistair Overeem, Brock is ready to hang up the gloves. Looking back at his brief career, if it is truly over, one thing becomes painfully clear: Brock Lesnar doesn’t love fighting; Brock Lesnar loves beating people up. While those two interests often intertwine, they quickly diverge when you start getting tagged. For all of the debates over Brock’s questionable chin and concerns for vegetable-rejecting body, the real downfall of his MMA career was his heart. He doesn’t love this fighting game, and MMA is a cruel mistress. If you can’t fully commit to her, you can expect to find a pile of shredded “Clutch Gear” shirts on the doorstep when you get home from the bar. Brock seems to have gotten that message and is packing his things and moving on with his life.

(Upon encountering the crazed polar bear, Alistair stretches his arms out, hoping to make himself appear larger. / Photos courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com. For more from this set, click here.)

529 pounds of mean son-of-a-bitch will be colliding tonight in Las Vegas as former UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar takes on Strikeforce/DREAM/K-1 champion Alistair Overeem in the main event of UFC 141. Plus, Nate Diaz and Donald Cerrone settle their beef in the lightweight division, and Jon Fitch goes for his tenth-straight decision against Johny Hendricks. But first, the final Spike TV prelims broadcast ever, featuring a TUF winner and a pair of WEC standouts. Not a bad way to kick off New Year’s weekend.

Round-by-round results from UFC 141: Lesnar vs. Overeem will be piling up after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. And while you’re waiting, feel free to share your New Year’s resolutions in the comments section.

(Two words: Cultivating mass.)

Oh my God, you guys. We are just two days away from a match so epic that it threatens to implode our entire universe and send it spiraling down a black hole quicker than a Duane Ludwig knockout. And since most of us are still trying to financially recover from Christmas (only to spend nearly as much on New Year’s Eve, ironically), why not place some bets with us and end this sumbitch on a bang instead of a whimper? Check out the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our Negrodamus-esque advice below.

Main Card
Brock Lesnar (+110) vs. Alistair Overeem (-130)
Nate Diaz (+240) vs. Donald Cerrone (-280)
Jon Fitch (-230) vs. Johny Hendricks (+190)
Vladimir Matyushenko (+285) vs. Alexander Gustafsson (-345)
Nam Phan (-230) vs. Jimy Hettes (+190)

Preliminary card (televised on Spike)
Ross Pearson (-300) vs. Junior Assunçao (+250)
Anthony Njokuani (+155) vs. Danny Castillo (-175)

Preliminary card (Facebook)
Dong Hyun Kim (-360) vs. Sean Pierson (+300)
Jacob Volkmann (-260) vs. Efrain Escudero (+220)
Matt Riddle (-115) vs. Luis Ramos (-105)
Manvel Gamburyan (+200) vs. Diego Nunes (-240)

Thoughts…

(I see trouble a brewin’ on the horizon.) 

Given their frequency within the sport, we oft discuss the rematch here at CagePotato: we’ve mentioned a few that we’d like to see, we’ve mocked the possible occurence of others, and we’ve even gone as far as to predict how future ones would go down. And with 2011 featuring over 10 in the UFC alone, we decided to take a look back at at a year that both showcased and disgraced the awesomeness that is the rematch. Join us on this trip down memory lane, won’t you?

The Ones We Needed to See 

#5 – Anderson Silva vs. Yushin Okami at UFC 134

(Silva v. Okami, though this image could be from just about any of Silva’s fights.) 

Why it had to happen: Because the first fight marked the last time Silva had lost…at anything, and even if it was by way of illegal upkick DQ, it was enough to convince some people that Okami had his number. Plus, Okami had earned his shot by this point, and we were getting pretty damned tired of debating this old issue.

How it happened: Absolute. Domination. In typical fashion, Silva toyed with Okami like he was wrestling with his 4 year old nephew, letting the audience know that the fight would end when he decided it would. A head kick that rocked Okami at the end of the first round reinforced this belief, and Silva mercifully finished him off in the second. Cut. Print. TKO.

What it proved: That, outside of Chael Sonnen, there are no threats left in the UFC’s middleweight division for Anderson Silva. As with Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, Silva must journey to another weight class if he desires a true challenge. Even DW is coming around to the idea, sort of.

(In a moment, you’re going to feel a little bit of pressure.) 

A lot of fight booking news today, Potato Nation.

With a featherweight title fight between Jose Aldo and Chad Mendes, the UFC debut of Siyar Bahadurzada, and some guaranteed fireworks in the Belfort/Johnson and Etim/Barboza scraps, UFC 142 is shaping up to be one hell of a card. But if, like me, you don’t get excited for a fight that lacks an outside possibility of descending into utter chaos, involving limb loss, premature celebration, and a lack of respect for the referee bordering on Earl Hebner levels of insanity, then boy are you in for a treat.

News broke earlier today that our favorite little appendage manipulator, Rousimar Palhares, has agreed to face New Jersey’s Mike Massenzio at UFC 142 in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. And although allowing Palhares to compete in his home country nearly cost him a victory over Dan Miller (who is also a Jersey native, ironically) in his last bout, “Toquinho” will no doubt be looking to impress against Massenzio, who may be fighting for his UFC career come January 14th. Just 1-3 in his last 4 UFC bouts (2-4 overall), Massenzio most recently scored a unanimous decision victory over the similarly struggling Steve Cantwell at UFC 136, making it Cantwell’s fourth straight decision loss in as many contests.

(Hey, it’s that thing from my nightmares! So weird seeing you during the daytime! / Photo via @bjpenndotcom)

It’s been a while since we’ve tried to convince you fine people of something totally ridiculous. But looking through Saturday’s UFC 137: Penn vs. Diaz card, I feel like playing devil’s advocate on a few things. So keep an open mind, and read on…

Donald Cerrone Should Drop to Featherweight

Donald Cerrone has recently claimed that he’d like to face Nam Phan in his next fight, because Phan beat up his best friend Leonard Garcia earlier this month then allegedly said that if Garcia’s coaches were any good they would have taught him how to throw straight punches. Now, the average observer might say, “Look Donald, you’re on a five-fight win streak — shouldn’t you be more concerned about challenging for the belt at lightweight than chasing personal rivalries with unranked dudes at 145?”

But I say screw it, Cowboy, you do you. Not for the revenge aspect, which is completely silly. But because the lightweight division has too many contenders to the throne, and the featherweight division doesn’t have enough.

(Stock-trader vs. Wall Street protester — who ya got? Photo via MMA Mania)

Want to make some real money this weekend? Then come over to my place on Saturday afternoon and be prepared to clean some toilets. Want to make some hypothetical, for-entertainment-purposes-only money this weekend? Then check out the latest UFC 136 betting lines (via BestFightOdds) and read our gambling advice after the jump.

PPV Main Card
Frankie Edgar (-125) vs. Gray Maynard (+120)
Jose Aldo (-320) vs. Kenny Florian (+301)
Chael Sonnen (-255) vs. Brian Stann (+227)
Nam Phan (-210) vs. Leonard Garcia (+208)
Melvin Guillard (-312) vs. Joe Lauzon (+310)

Spike TV Prelims
Demian Maia (-275) vs. Jorge Santiago (+245)
Anthony Pettis (-277) vs. Jeremy Stephens (+250)

Facebook Prelims
Joey Beltran (+190) vs. Stipe Miocic (-210)
Tiequan Zhang (-120) vs. Darren Elkins (+115)
Aaron Simpson (-313) vs. Eric Schafer (+300)
Steve Cantwell (-135) vs. Mike Massenzio (+130)

We’ll begin…at the beginning:

(Come on. You’re telling me that’s not a pothead? / Photo via Sherdog)

Update: Herman only tested positive for marijuana. The report that originally stated he also tested positive for steroids came from a misinterpretation of his interview.

UFC heavyweight Dave Herman has confirmed that his scheduled UFC 136 main card bout against Mike Russow has been canceled, after his pre-fight drug tests came back positive for marijuana. Herman denies using the illegal substance. As he explained to Clinch Gear Radio:

“I went in to get in my drug test (on Sept. 15), and a week later, they called me and told me they lost my urine specimen. I had to come in and redo it. That was last week. I went back in that day. And [on Wednesday], they told me I failed. I said, ‘That’s impossible.’…[now,] Texas said they never lost it and the first one [tested positive] for drugs and the second was for steroids. I don’t even smoke…I haven’t even had a beer in two months.”

(Clash of the Titans? So which one’s the kraken? Props: shosports)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Handing Out Hardware: 2011 MMA Mid-Year Awards (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Georges St. Pierre ‘Grinds Down’ a Female at Boulevard 3 Nightclub in Hollywood (MMA Mania)

- Rashad Evans: “When Jon Jones loses (in the UFC), he’s going to quit in a fight” (FightOpinion)

- ProElite’s T. Jay Thompson Shares Details on the Promotion’s August 27th Return (MMAPayout)

- Video: If You Thought the Kim Couture Late Stoppage Was Bad… (MMA Convert)

- Exclusive: Will Frank Trigg Be the Third Fighter in a Row Retired by Tom “Kong” Watson? (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- There’s Still Time to Enter the Chael Sonnen Baby-Onesie Design Contest; Check Out the Front-Runners Here (MiddleEasy)

- Half-Year in Review: 2011′s UFC Stats, Facts & Figures (MMA Fighting)

- Photo Gallery: Nam Phan Trains for UFC 133 Fight Against Mike Brown (LowKick)

- Bellator Fighting Championships Hosting Open Tryouts July 16th in New Jersey (5thRound)

- Round 5 Unveils Bruce Lee Figure Based on “Enter the Dragon” (TheFightNerd)

- Exclusive: Jon Jones Discusses UFC 135 Fight With Rampage, Feud With Rashad (NBC Sports MMA)

(“I’m healthy, I’m motivated, and there’s no way Phan is training as hard as I am.”)

Two years ago, Mike Brown was on the top of the world — an undisputed featherweight champion who could boast that he beat Urijah Faber twice. But after knockout losses to Jose Aldo and Manny Gamburyan, and a heartbreaking stretch earlier this year in which he dropped decisions to Diego Nunes and Rani Yahya in the same month, he’s now just fighting to stay relevant.

The UFC confirmed yesterday that Brown’s next match will be against TUF 12 vet Nam Phan at UFC 133 (August 6th, Philadelphia). Phan is coming off his very controversial split-decision loss to Leonard Garcia in December, after which he coined the phrase “Asian brother can’t get no love.” The body-shot specialist was slated to return to action in a rematch with Garcia at UFC Fight Night 24, but had to withdraw from the bout due to a broken foot; Chan Sung Jung stepped in and took care of business.

(“FINISH HIM!” shouted the spooky narrator from Mortal Kombat, who had clearly never seen Jon Fitch fight before. Props: MMAConvert)

After their UFC 127 main event ended in a frustrating majority draw, BJ Penn and Jon Fitch have been re-booked for an immediate rematch at UFC 132 (July 2, Las Vegas). The UFC confirmed the news late last night. Both fighters were initially disappointed in their performance, but have since come around to the idea that they both should have won and a rematch is the only logical option. The fight will lead off the live Facebook-stream portion of the evening. (Kidding. It’ll probably be on the main card somewhere.) Maybe this match is a good time to test out the UFC’s proposed use of five-round fights for non-title features. No? Terrible idea?

(Oh man. 1:00-1:10 is just too much. Props: ix3623vault)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Manager: “Chael Sonnen’s Career is Far From Over” (5thRound. Welcome to the club, guys!)

– UFC to Announce Formal Intent to Bring Event to New York (MMA Fighting)

– MMA Hot List: Fights Booked, Careers Put on Hold (Versus MMA Beat)

– Watch Nam Phan’s Guide to Judging in MMA (MiddleEasy)

– Jacob Volkmann on Fox News. You Figure Out the Rest. (the all-new MMA-Scraps.com)

– Bellator Signs Top 50 Middleweight Joe Riggs (FightMagazine)

– Dan Henderson In Talks For Title Shot Against Rafael Feijao On March 5 (MMA Convert)

– Jon Jones: I Would Definitely Take a "Right Fight" at Heavyweight (LowKick)

– Chad Griggs Taking on Regional Prospect in Final Strikeforce Grand Prix Reserve Bout (Five Ounces of Pain)

– UFC And Strikeforce Situations Make Heavyweight The Division To Watch In 2011 (SBNation.com/MMA)

(The losers get a bonus check from the judges’ bookie.)

The UFC will attempt to get some resolution between some of its disgruntled employees in the coming months by setting up two rematches between a quartet of fighters involved in controversial decisions in their last bouts.

According to MMAWeekly, Nam Phan will look to avenge his BS loss to Leonard Garcia at the TUF 12 finale when he locks horns with the Team Jackson fighter at UFC Fight Night 24 in Seattle on March 26 and lightweight kingpin Frankie Edgar will attempt to successfully defend his title against Gray Maynard for the first time after their New Year’s Day UFC 125 title fight ended in a somewhat controversial majority draw when the pair get a do-over  at UFC 130 in Las Vegas.

(Dude. Yikes. Photos courtesy of UFC.com)

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve just received word that Cody "The French Revolution" McKenzie has agreed to take on Yves Edwards at UFC Fight for the Troops 2 on January 22nd, after Edwards’s original opponent was drafted for the main event. (It should be noted that Edwards has never lost by guillotine choke in 56 career fights.) McKenzie’s big return made us wonder — what does the future hold for the other winners of last Saturday’s UFC event? Well gather around, kids, and we’ll tell you what should happen…

Jonathan Brookins: You know how this works. In his first post-TUF outing, Brookins needs to be built up against a relatively established vet who happens to be vulnerable against his skill-set. So, who’s a chokable, lateral-droppable lightweight who you’ve heard of, but who doesn’t have the kind of striking skills that will make Brookins look foolish? Huh. That actually doesn’t leave a lot of options among the UFC’s current roster.

This is going to sound random as hell, but I think the UFC needs to bring back Matt Veach. Though the H.I.T. Squad fighter was released by the UFC earlier this year after consecutive losses to Frankie Edgar and Paul Kelly (both by submission), he’s gone on to win three straight in smaller promotions; he was also undefeated before he came to the UFC, scoring stoppages in nine out of ten fights. I think we all want to see Brookins developed slowly in winnable matchups; still, Veach is far from a pushover.

(Who’s to say what ‘Octagon control’ means, anyway? PicProps: UFC.com)

Among the warning signs that you may have won a bullshit decision, we’d think that A) The company being so unhappy that it decides to pay the other guy his win bonus anyway and B) A resulting internet beef on the subject between the top athletic official in Nevada and a shoot-from-the-hip stand-up comedian would both be pretty high on the list. That is to say nothing of the chorus of boos from the live crowd and your own trainer shrugging at you like “We’ll take it, dude,” in the cage after the announcement of the verdict. On their own, any one of those things would be bad enough, but together they make Leonard Garcia’s split decision victory over Nam Phan from last weekend look like an open-and-shut case of judging incompetence.

At the time even Garcia — who seems like a totally likable guy, by the way – admitted during his postfight interview that he didn’t think he deserved to win. Given a day or two to think about it however, he now tells MMA Fighting.com that after sitting down with Phan to watch the fight (awkward!) and then viewing it “approximately 15 times” since, he’s changed his mind. You know what? Fuck it, Garcia thinks he won that bad boy.

(Props: ‘caposa’ on the UG)

Today’s GIF party features a couple of animated highlights from the TUF 12 Finale‘s unaired prelims, as well as the Spike broadcast. First up, the night’s only knockout — Pablo Garza’s flying-knee-KO of Fredson Paixao, which came just 51 seconds into round one and scored Garza a $30,000 Knockout of the Night bonus. As if the KO wasn’t impressive enough, check out Steve Mazzagatti flying in from 15 feet away to tackle Garza before he makes Paixao’s concussion any worse than it needs to be. 

After the jump: The "Pace choke," the McKenzitine, and the stunned expessions following Phan vs. Garcia.

(Apparently, leaving your face open for repeated blows means you’re "dictating the action." Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

So another Leonard Garcia fight is in the books, which means it’s time to ask the judges, once again: Are you guys totally blind, or just legally blind, so that, you know, you can make out shapes and degrees of light, that kind of thing?  

Garcia’s split-decision victory over Nam Phan at Saturday’s TUF 12 Finale elicited immediate chants of "Bullshit!" from the Las Vegas fans, as well as a lengthy anti-NSAC rant from Joe Rogan. Did the judges see something we didn’t? Am I just biased by the fact that Phan is a likable underdog, and Garcia’s striking is an aesthetic nightmare that I can’t stand watching?

Well, no, as it turns out. According to FightMetric’s report on Phan/Garcia, the match should have been scored a 30-27 for Phan based solely on statistical effectiveness. Phan landed more "significant strikes" in every round, with only the first round being close (33-30 significant strikes in Phan’s favor). The second round was an obvious runaway for Phan (34-13 in the s.s. department, with a brief knockdown via side-kick) and the third was also a clear win for Phan (35-21). The only advantage Garcia had was his two takedowns (one apiece in rounds 2 and 3), neither of which led to any real damage.

(Above: "Remember, remember, the fourth of December, the Gunpowder Treason and plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot, brah." 
Below: You know what to do, honey. / Photos courtesy of UFC.com)

Welcome, fight fans, to the first leg of a liveblog double-header on CagePotato.com. The TUF 12 Finale gets rolling on Spike at 9 p.m. ET, with Team GSP lightweight finalists Jonathan Brookins and Michael Johnson battling for the highly coveted glassware, Stephan Bonnar trying to build a winning streak against Igor Pokrajac, and Demian Maia tangling with rangy TUF 3 winner Kendall Grove. Plus, five other TUF 12 vets will do their best to hang on to their UFC contracts, including Nam Phan, who clashes with hardy slugger Leonard Garcia in the UFC’s first-ever televised 145-pound feature. (Yes, the UFC has featherweights now!)

Round-by-round results await you after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest. Please toss in your two cents in the comments section, and don’t forget to check in at our viewing party at PlayPhilo.com for a chance to win a UFC: Ultimate 100 Greatest Fights DVD set. 

Note: In addition to the the lightweight finals, three more matches featuring TUF 12 cast-members have been added to Saturday’s finale show. Details are at the end of this post…

"Now, fuck the team," George St. Pierre says to Jonathan Brookins and Kyle Watson to kick off last night’s episode. "There’s no more team." GSP won’t be giving strategic advice to Brookins and Watson for their red-on-red semifinal match; it’s time for them to sink or swim as individuals. John Danaher says this is the fight that should have been the final, as they’re the two most talented athletes.

Watson has seen enough of Brookins to know that he loves to shoot at his opponent’s lead leg for takedowns. In practice, Watson goes over how he’ll make Brookins pay for that, with uppercuts and lead knees. Meanwhile on Team Koscheck, training has ground to a halt. Only Nam Phan is left in the semis, and everybody else is just sitting there with their teeth in their mouth, bitching about their lots in life. Marc Stevens feels like he didn’t learn much from the TUF experience, and the yellow team in general feels envious of all the great guest-coaches that GSP brought in for his guys. Sevak sort-of comes to Koscheck’s defense: "I got a lot of positive things from Josh. I expected less."

After taking a week off for the Thanksgiving holiday, The Ultimate Fighter is playing catchup tonight with a two-hour episode that kicks off at 9 p.m. The four remaining lightweight hopefuls will be whittled down to two, as Jonathan Brookins takes on Kyle Watson, and Nam Phan rumbles with Michael Johnson. There will be a lot of time to kill in between, so hopefully Georges St. Pierre brings another celebrity guest-coach into the mix. (Kanye?) Tune in, and be sure to read our recap tomorrow morning…

(Jonathan Brookins’s lateral drop even worked on Jose Aldo, back at WEC 36. No one is safe. Props: NHB USA)

We’ve officially entered the quarterfinals, and last night’s episode gave us two of ‘em: Sako Chivitchian vs. Jonathan Brookins, and Cody McKenzie vs. Nam Phan. But you already know what happens in the McKenzie/Phan fight, right?

At the house, Sevak Magakian explains to his bro Sako that he has to redeem the Armenian race and beat Brookins, who is representing the Fraggle race. "Sak you gotta do this bro," Sevak says. "You gotta beat him, whatever it takes. I couldn’t do it, now you have to do it…There’s not gonna be two Armenians gonna lose to the same guy…you’re gonna fuck him." Wow, that’s some threat. Magakian has clearly been studying at the Wanderlei Silva school of trash talk.

Coach GSP wants to train his quarterfinalists like he trains when he’s about to fight — one training session a day, no more hard sparring or hardcore workouts. The focus is tactical now. He wants to make the guys feel hungry, like they’re not training enough, and build up their aggression for the fight.

We’re happy to announce that from now until the end of the season, The Ultimate Fighter‘s "Aftermath" online series will be exclusively embedded on CagePotato.com. So be sure to come by after each episode and watch Stephan Bonnar yuk it up with the week’s winners and losers. In this installment, Nam Phan, Cody McKenzie, and Jonathan Brookins — wearing a Nam Phan for Mayor t-shirt that I’ll probably be ordering for myself — drop in to discuss Marc Stevens’s "Party Boy" routine, GSP’s surprising gameplan for McKenzie, Nam Phan’s possibly-illegal elbows, what weights they’ll be competing at after the show, and lots more. We won’t throw out any spoilers now, but you can read the full episode recap tomorrow on the site.

(Hick-Jitsu is no match for Drunken French Muay Thai.)

Alex Caceres has gone full heel. For some reason, he decides to put bleach in Nam Phan‘s fabric softener. Michael Johnson borrows it to do a load of delicates, and freaks out when he learns the truth. "Why would you run the risk of fuckin’ up someone’s whole wardrobe like that?" he asks. Caceres explains that it was meant for Nam, which begs the question — what the hell did Nam Phan ever do to you, bro? "I got a love/hate personality," Caceres says later. "That’s why I don’t have many friends." 

As Team GSP rides to practice, Cody McKenzie spits dip-juice into an empty Red Bull can. It’s the most country thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

GSP brings in another special guest for his guys. Very special. Jean Charles Skarbowsky is a French kickboxing savant who sleeps three hours a night and gets drunk before every practice. Georges advises the guys that if you respect him, he’ll respect you; if you go hard to prove a point, he’ll kill you. "Please be careful, he had a long ride from Paris to get here," GSP says. Hmm, he doesn’t look like much. But there he is, tossing around the entire team and dropping everybody with liver shots. "You cannot have the same lifestyle as Jean Charles and be an MMA fighter. In Thailand they smoke and drink and fight every day." And let’s not even get into the transsexual thing…

(Nam Phan vs. Mike Budnik. Props: eze32101)

No need for a lengthy preamble — you’ve already seen the first five minutes of the Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck season premiere, and you know how these things generally go down. We’ve got 28 lightweights, battling for 14 spots. Dana White addresses the troops, Bruce Leroy giggles with anticipation. It’s the elimination round, where the RFFs (real fucking fighters) are separated from the pretenders. Let’s get it.

Marc Stevens vs. TJ O’Brien 
Stevens wrestled at the University of Buffalo when Josh Koscheck was the assistant wrestling coach there. Kos calls him an "okay wrestler." Stevens immediately lands a huge overhand right, then jackhammers O’Brien on the ground until the ref steps in. We later learn that the 13-second TKO is the fastest stoppage in TUF history. "Remember me now?" Stevens asks Koscheck.

Spencer Paige vs. Steve Magdaleno
Paige’s striking is as good as advertised, as he lands a mix of attacks in round 1. Magdaleno ends the round on top, working some ground-and-pound, but it might not be enough to steal the round. They start round 2 swinging for the fences before Paige starts blasting Magdaleno with knees. Magdaleno shoots on Paige and dumps him. Magdaleno looks for an arm triangle, then goes back to abusing Paige from the top. Magdaleno drops to guard when the action goes standing again, and possibly blows the fight, as Paige finishes strong with strikes from the top. Paige takes the unanimous decision.

Spike has revealed the full cast of 28 lightweights who will be appearing on The Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck, which premieres September 15th at 10 p.m., following UFC Fight Night 22. Of course, 14 of these guys will be eliminated in the first episode, so watch this trailer and get to know them while you still can. Some of the competitors jumped out at us, for various reasons…

The guys we’ve actually heard of: Nam Phan is a nine-year veteran of the sport who has competed for Strikeforce and Sengoku. Mike Budnik has already had a stint as a 155′er in the WEC, but was released after three straight losses to Shane Roller, John Franchi, and Rafael Dias.

The guy with the horrible nickname: Paul "The Wheel" Barrow. Christ. That’s even worse than Nick "The Promise" Ring.

Impressive stat alert: Cody McKenzie has finished his last nine opponents via first-round guillotine choke. That does indeed make him the #2 guillotine-choker in the world, among active fighters; only Travis Fulton (12) owns more.

The inevitable "crazy hair" guys: Jason Brenton (green hair), Alex Caceres (Yagerfro), Jeff Lentz (red hair), Marc Stevens (mohawk), Dane Sayers (red mohawk).

Full cast list is after the jump…

(Marlon Sandro vs. Nick Denis; props to MMA Scraps.)

After a shaky start that saw Maximo Blanco get DQ’d after misinterpreting the "foot stomps yes, soccer kicks no" rule, and Travis Wiuff getting kneed in the balls about two dozen times before losing via TKO, Sengoku managed to put on a pretty damn entertaining show yesterday (or late Friday for us). The focal point of "Eighth Battle" was the quarterfinals of their featherweight grand prix, and unsuprisingly, top-ten featherweights Hatsu Hioki and Marlon Sandro advanced to the semis; Hioki was able to submit Ronnie Mann in the opening round, while Sandro needed all of 19 seconds to flatten Nick Denis with punches.

Elsewhere in the bracket, Michihiro Omigawa continued his career comeback, stopping Nam Phan with ground-and-pound late in the first round; after entering the tournament with a 4-7-1 record, Omigawa now holds back-to-back wins over two very credible featherweights. Korean fighter Chan Sung Jung wasn’t so fortunate, as he dropped a decision to Masanori Kanehara in what many fans felt was a race-based robbery.

Complete results from the event and more fight videos after the jump…

(Main-eventers Ronnie Mann and Hatsu Hioki. Image courtesy of allelbows.)

Attention insomniacs and members of the undead: HDNet is hooking you up tonight with a live broadcast of "Sengoku Eighth Battle," which kicks off at 3 a.m. ET/midnight PT. Though the card lacks big names, it will feature the quarterfinals of their ongoing featherweight grand prix — and if the fights are as entertaining as the FWGP’s first round, we’ll be in for a treat, so DVR this bitch at the very least. Here’s what the matchups will look like…

FEATHERWEIGHT GRAND PRIX BOUTS
Hatsu Hioki vs. Ronnie Mann
Michihiro Omigawa vs. Nam Phan
Masanori Kanehara vs. Chan Sung Jung
Marlon Sandro vs. Nick Denis

(James Thompson vs. Jim York.  Props: MMA Videos)

Say this for James Thompson, dude is dependable.  You can always count on him to come charging out of his corner at the sound of the bell, then become quickly exhausted, and finally get dropped by a punch that doesn’t look all that hard.  In a sport where consistent performers are hard to come by, it’s refreshing to know exactly what you’re going to get when "The Colossus" is in the ring.

After the jump, more videos from Sengoku’s "Seventh Battle" that are actually athletically meaningful.