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Tag: Nandor Guelmino

It Begins (Again (For Serious This Time)): Josh Barnett Inks Multi-Fight Deal With the UFC


(We assume that this is how Barnett’s contract negotiation went down.)

Although we might have jumped the gun when we noticed that Josh Barnett’s profile had been added to UFC.com some weeks back — which honestly, can you blame us? – it finally appears that the perennial top heavyweight IS in fact headed back to the UFC despite rejecting his initial contract. For serious this time (via MMAJunkie/USA Today):

USA TODAY Sports/MMAjunkie.com today confirmed with promotion officials that former UFC heavyweight champion Barnett has signed a new multi-fight deal with the promotion and is expected to make his return to the octagon later this year. An official announcement is expected soon. 

“The Warmaster” has not competed since effortlessly strangling out some dude at the final Strikeforce event, but his addition to the UFC’s apparently shallow heavyweight division will undoubtedly make for some fireworks. Who would you like to see Barnett face first, Potato Nation? Personally, I’d like to see him rematch Nandor Guelmino, the scary-looking sumbitch who if I recall correctly gave Barnett one hell of a fight at…what’s that? You say Nandor *is* the guy Barnett effortlessly tapped at the final Strikeforce event? Joe Silva, I don’t know how you pull it off, you magnificent “mean little f*cker.”

To celebrate Barnett’s sure-to-be-triumphant return, we’ve compiled the definitive collection of Warbringer songs (and the Bolt Thrower song after which Barnett is nicknamed) after the jump. If you don’t understand why, well then you just don’t know Josh Barnett.

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Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine Aftermath — The Awkward Goodbyes

I’ll be completely honest: I didn’t watch Strikeforce’s farewell card live last night. I recorded it, and watched it when I was done watching football. Am I just that dedicated of a 49ers/Packers fan? Not quite; last night was the first time I watched either team play all season. Rather, my mentality was that I haven’t been changing my schedule to accommodate Strikeforce events for the past two years now [Author Note: Damn, was the buyout really two years ago already? Time flies when you're watching something die.], so why start now for the promotion’s grand finale.

Reading through the collection of Strikeforce tributes online, it’s obvious that I’m not the only one feeling this way. Articles and tweets about the demise of Strikeforce have been respectful, but not overly-sentimental, and the comments sections of various liveblogs covering the event didn’t exactly blow up for the occasion. There were none of the regrets, what-nows and what-could-have-beens that usually come along with failed business ventures – just a few awkward goodbyes as Zuffa prepared to pull the plug on the machine that no longer served any purpose.

And honestly, why would anyone other than Strikeforce’s employees, fighters and Scott Coker feel any differently? The death of Strikeforce doesn’t mark the end of a promotion that has been pumping out relevant fights for the past two years. It isn’t the death of an alternative option for fighters not wanting to sign with Zuffa. It isn’t the even the end of free MMA on basic cable.

I guess it would be different if this card was stacked with the fighters who made Strikeforce Strikeforce, such as Cung Le, Nick Diaz, Alistair Overeem, Ronda Rousey, Gilbert Melendez and Luke Rockhold, but they’ve either been assimilated into the UFC by now or they’ve pulled out of the event due to injury/apathy. Instead, this card served as one final night of squash fights – one of which actually ended differently than you may have expected.

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Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine — Live Results and Commentary


(I know what you’re thinking: Why the hell did they leave Nandor Guelmino off the poster? Well I don’t mean to alarm you, but that bright shining ball of fire in the background *is* Nandor Guelmino.)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the end of the world. Tonight’s last-ever Strikeforce event went from a championship triple-header to Squash City in a hurry, and it’s okay to feel depressed about it. (If you need somebody to talk to, call 1-888-BRO-TATO and one of our mental health professionals will be on the line shortly.)

On the main card this evening, Nate Marquardt puts his welterweight title on the line against Belgian standout Tarec Saffiedine, Daniel Cormier and Josh Barnett try not to shit the bed against their unheralded opponents, Gegard Mousasi returns from a long layoff to face Mike Kyle, and Ed Herman crosses the UFC/Strikeforce DMZ to bang with the always-dangerous Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza.

Like a spirit guide leading us from one realm of existence to the next, Jim Genia will be sticking round-by-round results from the “Marquardt vs. Saffiedine” Showtime broadcast after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Make your voices heard in the comments section, and please, let’s honor this moment.

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Josh Barnett Draws One Scary Looking Sumbitch for His Final Strikeforce Appearance


(DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO THE GIRL, JUST DON’T HURT ME.) 

Meet Nandor “The Hun” Guelmino, a.k.a the man Josh Barnett will face in his final Strikeforce appearance at the hilariously mistitled Strikeforce: Champions event on January 12th. As you might have noticed, he is a terrifying individual who looks something like the freakish offspring of The Tall Man, The Silver Surfer, Imhotep, and an eighty pound bag of cement. With a record of 11-3, Guelmino has collected 7 straight victories not by consuming the souls of his opponents before pulling their spinal chords through their assholes as one would imagine, but rather by two earthly TKO’s, three submissions, and a pair of decisions. At 6’3” and just over 230 pounds, perhaps the most freakish thing about Guelmino is that he will actually be giving away some size to Barnett, who usually weighs in at just under 250lbs.

Having collected 6 victories by way of submission, it will be interesting to see how Guelmino will deals with the aggressive grappling attack of a guy like Barnett. My prediction: By lifting Barnett above his head, putting him in The Torture Rack, and spiking him through the canvas like a football. He will then grab the microphone from Gus Johnson and proclaim himself to be Ashta, Devourer of Worlds before unleashing a hellish sand monster in his likeness that descends upon the audience and wipes them out in one final flurry. Despite the massive loss of life, the moment will ultimately be declared a bit of redemption for Strikeforce.

Get familiar with “The Hun” after the jump.

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