(Alright, Mr. Diaz, all we have left to do to grant you this license is take a quick gander over your known criminal histor-Aaaaaannnddd it’s gone!) 

Not unlike the assassination of JFK, the news that Nick Diaz would be starting his own MMA promotion, subtly titled WAR MMA, came out of nowhere and completely blew our brains out. While some of us lauded the thought of an MMA promotion that would finally eliminate all the bitch-ass rules and stipulations that have been holding the UFC back for years (marijuana testing, a mere 8 weight classes, “the bullshit,” etc.), the rest of us reacted in horror. Here is a guy who couldn’t even tell you the last time he paid his own taxes, and now we’re going to put him in charge of other people’s livelihoods (and lives themselves)? Talk about the blind leading the blind.

Thankfully, we as a species are drawn to tragedy like moths to light, hence why Diaz is currently awaiting approval on a temporary promoter’s license so he can get the wheels on this inevitable five-car pileup spinning. Sherdog reports:

California State Athletic Commission Executive Director Andy Foster that Diaz is currently applying for a temporary promoter’s license.

Once all mandatory paperwork has been submitted, Foster said, the onus will fall on Foster to grant Diaz the temporary license. According to Sherdog.com’s source, the Diaz camp is targeting a June 22 event date at the Stockton Arena and also has plans to stream the event live on the Internet. However, Diaz cannot apply for that date and location through the CSAC until his temporary license is granted. If the temp license is awarded and the first War MMA event runs smoothly, Diaz could then appear before the CSAC at the next official meeting and apply for a full promoter’s license.

First off, Stockton has its own arena? Or is that simply what Diaz has dubbed the collection of hastily stacked bicycle tires and chicken wire in his backyard?

(We’ll see if Dana’s still laughing when STOCKTON FC swallows up the entire industry. / Photo via CombatLifestyle.com)

According to a commonly misused F. Scott Fitzgerald quote, there are no second-acts in American lives. But for years, MMA fighters have proven that adage wrong. Tito Ortiz transitioned from a Hall of Fame-worthy career in the Octagon to his current standing as the most effective and eloquent fighter-manager in MMA. Rampage Jackson went into the rap game after leaving the UFC, and now his latest album — Hump Musik — has gone quintuple-platinum. And legendary two-division UFC champ Randy Couture devoted himself to acting following his MMA career, making history as the first man to win Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor (for his cauliflower ear) in the same film.

I kid, because I love. The truth is, finding a new path after a successful career as a fighter can be very difficult. Not everybody can put their name on a goddamned grill and sit on Easy Street for the rest of their life. So when we tell you that Nick Diaz might be launching his own MMA promotion in the wake of his latest “retirement“…well, just keep your expectations realistic, okay?

We first heard about this in yesterday’s installment of MiddleEasy.com’s “Rumor Mill column, which was followed by longtime Diaz-documentarian LayzieTheSavage posting a link to RedditMMA: nickdiazpromotions.com, which contains a logo for something called WAR Mixed Martial Arts, and a “Coming Soon” message. No other details are available at this time, but my God, imagine the possibilities.

It makes sense that Diaz would want to start his own fight club, considering how dissatisfied he’s always been with the Unified Rules, and the ways that the current rule-set can be exploited by weak-ass point-fighters and wrestlers. So what would Diaz’s brand-new MMA promotion actually look like? (Warning: Here come the jokes…)

If there’s one thing we know about Nick Diaz and the members of Team Cesar Gracie, it’s that they will not tolerate bullshit in *any* of its various forms. However, if the latest upload from ever-enigmatic Youtube user Jerry Rips — which features audio of Diaz’s corner during his bouts with Carlos Condit, BJ Penn, and Georges St. Pierre — is any indication, it would appear that wetness is just below bullshit on Team Cesar Gracie’s list of deplorable offenses. And once you realize what the average TCG training session looks like, you’ll begin to understand just what the punishment is for such an offense.

Confused? Well welcome to the 209, bitch. It’s a magical place where, should you find yourself fighting for a(n interim) title in MMA’s highest promotion, you will receive such sound corner advice as “That’s the kind of asshole shit he’s got,” “Fuckin’ dick,” and “Condit, you pussy!” But mainly, your teammates/coaches will be relegated to complaining about how slippery your opponent is. Not slippery in the figurative sense — we mean, like, that pussy just got out the pool or some shit. And don’t even get them started on what’ll happen if this fight goes the judges, who are all probably betting against you anyway. But seriously, they put waaay too much water on that motherfucker, man.

We could watch this all day, but we first feel compelled to ask: Nate Diaz vs. Frito in an academic decathalon — who takes it?

-J. Jones

(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

Earlier this month, Nick Diaz‘s lawyer stated that the Anti-Bullshit Superhero would remain retired unless he was offered a rematch with Georges St. Pierre or an even-more undeserved middleweight title shot against Anderson Silva — heartbreaking news, really. But if there’s any MMA fighter who’s likely to violate our MMA fighters retiring then immediately un-retiring ban, it’s Nick. For all of his complaints about being disrespected by his opponents and getting paid too much but not enough, fighting is in Diaz’s blood, which is a nice way of saying that he has absolutely no other marketable skills and will probably need to come back at some point to earn a living.

So forget those silly retirement threats, and let’s talk about reality — who will Nick actually fight next, assuming that the UFC wouldn’t book Diaz vs. GSP II or Diaz vs. Silva unless they were absolutely desperate. How about Demian Maia, the BJJ whiz who has successfully reinvented his career as a welterweight? Maia’s three-round domination of Jon Fitch at UFC 156 placed him in the top-tier of the 170-pound division, and according to a report from Ariel Helwani on last night’s edition of UFC Tonight, Maia wants to face Nick Diaz in his next appearance, preferably on the August 3rd Aldo vs. Pettis card in Rio.

(This “20 Staredowns That Got Physical” video conveniently cuts off before Ricardo Mayorga flash-KO’s Din Thomas with a karate chop to the neck. Props: MMADigest)

War Machine on Fallon Fox: ‘Any Show That Signs Her Is a Piece of S*** Show’ (BleacherReport)

Georges St-Pierre Says He Weighed 170.4 Pounds at UFC 158 Weigh-Ins (MMAFighting)

Nick Diaz Weigh-In Video Returns to Youtube After Copyright Claim Is Reversed (BloodyElbow)

Chris Weidman Says Anderson Silva Is the Best Fighter of all Time, But He’s Just a Little Better (MiddleEasy)

TUF 17 Finale: Top 10 Facts You Need to Know (FightDay)

TUF 17 Finale: Miesha Tate vs. Cat Zingano Video Preview (YouTube.com/UFC)

Jon Jones Looks Really Out of Place Next to Those Two Gangsters (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

World Series of Fighting: Future Champs Series Furthers WSOF and NBC Sports Partnership (MMAWeekly)

Refined Sugar: Paying for Love in 2013 (MadeMan)

10 of the Most Hilarious Conspiracy Theories (Break.com)

Her Most Secret Desires: 15 Things She Wants You to Do for Her in Bed (MensFitness)

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The Oral History of Freaknik (Complex)

(Photo via MMAMagazine.)  

The only thing that irks Dana White more than his fighters giving “pointless” interviews is when he misses the opportunity to exploit a grudge match between said fighters. Seriously, it keeps him up most nights and sometimes even causes fits of dizziness in the poor fellow. And unfortunately, now that the UFC has finished cashing in on their latest grudge match, there has been a void left behind in the lives of “true” MMA fans. You know, the ones who need fabricated storylines and endless trash-talk in order to find the sport exciting in the first place. People who think Brock Lesnar has obviously earned a spot in the UFC Hall of Fame, in other words.

Although a “much” “anticipated” “grudge match” between Chael Sonnen and Jon Jones is set to transpire any day now, recent events have pretty much dispelled any idea that those two actually hate each other, so no luck there. Enter Anderson Silva vs. Jose Landi-Jons: a bitter rivalry that dates back to the glory days of the Chute Box gym. Sure, most of these “true” fans have likely never heard of Landi-Jons despite his legendary status and longevity in the sport, but when they get ahold of the positively Diazian story involving “Pele” chasing old Andy through the streets of Brazil, you can bet your bottom dollar that the Twitter rally campaigns will be shortly behind (via Portal do Vale Tudo, translation via Sherdog):

Anderson was jogging in the company of a friend when Pelé, who was driving by the location, saw his enemy and decided to go back and confront him about stuff Anderson wrote about Pelé in his book. According to witnesses, the only reason they didn’t fight was because Anderson’s friend stopped them.

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(A loaded bowl, nunchucks, and a ball on a string. In Stockton, this is how you go gently into that good night.) 

I just can’t anymore with Nick Diaz, you guys. I just can’t.

Earlier today, Diaz’s (likely overpaid) attorney, Jonathan Tweedale, told MMAMania the following:

Right now Nick is retired, unless he gets rematch with Georges St. Pierre or the big Anderson Silva fight. Apparently, if he doesn’t get those, he’s going to remain retired.

As a longtime fan of Diaz (his fighting style, at least), this “news” did not come as a shock to me, but was disappointing to hear nonetheless. Not because it means we won’t be seeing Diaz in the octagon anytime soon, but because this “I won’t play unless you pass me the ball,” retirement-as-a-bargaining-tool mentality represents the straw that has finally broke this camel’s back.

Look, I could set aside Diaz’s glaring mental deficiencies and overall jackassery back when he was laying waste to the Strikeforce welterweight division (or kicking Frank Shamrock’s ass…especially when he was kicking Frank Shamrock’s ass). When Diaz returned to the UFC after a five year absence, I was generally excited that we would have a new player at 170 lbs. Hell, when Diaz screwed himself out of a shot at St. Pierre, then dropped his next fight to Carlos Condit, then tested positive for marijuana metabolites and subsequently “retired” for the first time, I was still willing to hold onto the hope that Diaz vs. GSP would become a reality just so we could finally put all the debate to rest.

But then, it did happen, and let’s face it, Diaz choked.

(To be fair to Diaz’s camp, maybe they’re trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.)

Perhaps the third time will be the charm for Nick Diaz.

Following his unanimous decision loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Diaz’s camp first accused Georges St. Pierre’s handwraps of being shady in an effort to demonstrate that Nick Diaz was the victim of a massive conspiracy. That didn’t work, so then a video of the “Canadian loophole” was leaked to prove that the champion was allowed to weigh 0.9 pounds over the 170-pound weight limit. Of course, it turns out that Quebec’s athletic commission has consistently allowed this since UFC 83 in 2008, so that option isn’t nearly as scandalous as it once appeared. Now today, Diaz’s camp accused Quebec’s athletic commission of failing to properly supervise St. Pierre during his post-fight drug test.

But that’s not all. In an email sent to MMAFighting.com, Diaz camp representative Jonathan Tweedale explained that they intend to file a formal complaint regarding the events that took place before and after UFC 158. In this email, not only does Tweedale make it clear that Diaz and company were not impressed by the Quebec commission’s performance, but he goes as far as to write that Nick Diaz deserves a rematch against GSP. Via MMA Fighting:

“The Quebec Commission’s statement is a disappointing admission that the March 16 event was not conducted under the rules applicable to a UFC title fight – or under the rules the fighters contractually agreed to, upon which rules Mr. Diaz was entitled to rely under his bout agreement,” stated Jonathan Tweedale, a Diaz camp representative.

(Nick Diaz just released footage of a pretty sketchy situation that he encountered before the UFC 158 weigh-ins. Read more about the so-called “Canadian loophole” right here.)

Marcus Davis Claims Waachiim Spiritwolf Suffered a Panic Attack and Was Never Kneed in the Groin (MiddleEasy)

UFC VP Marc Ratner Asks Commission to Revisit Rules Concerning Marijuana Usage (BleacherReport)

Matt Riddle Says Dana White Is ‘Just a Juice Monkey Who’s Bald, Who Doesn’t Know Sh** About Business’ (stephaniejoplin.com)

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RIP Black Lululemon Yoga Pants (Break.com)

(GSP’s ground-and-pound = anti-bullshit-kryptonite. / Photo via Eric Bolte, USA TODAY Sports)

Predictable or not, UFC fans are still happy to open their wallets for the privilege of watching Georges St. Pierre thoroughly dominate his opponents for 25 minutes. According to a new report by Dave Meltzer, UFC 158 is expected to be one of the greatest pay-per-view showings of GSP’s career, with over 800,000 buys estimated. That figure would make UFC 158 the most-bought UFC event since last July’s UFC 148: Silva vs. Sonnen II card (925,000 buys), and could put it slightly higher than 2011′s most-popular show — UFC 129 (“around 800,000 buys“), which was also headlined by Georges St. Pierre.

You can give some credit for Nick Diaz for hyping the fight in his own unique way, but St. Pierre remains the UFC’s most reliable PPV draw in the post-Lesnar era. Getting GSP to fight as often as possible would help turn the UFC’s downward-trending PPV momentum in a positive direction. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like that will happen. According to St. Pierre’s trainer Firas Zahabi, GSP suffered an achilles injury before the fight, and will take some time off to rehab it; Zahabi said he didn’t want his star pupil to return to action for at least six months, though St. Pierre could return before then.

“He wants to take a couple of months off because his two fights were very close to each other and he wants to enjoy the summer,” Zahabi told TVA Sports. “We haven’t talked to the UFC yet, so we don’t know what their plans are for Georges yet.”

Get comfortable, Johny. You’re about to have some free time on your hands.

(“Yup. That’s an Affliction shirt alright. This guy must be guilty of something.” #DanaWhite’sInnerThoughts.) 

You might have missed it during the UFC 158 post-fight press conference, but midway through Nick Diaz’s clusterfuck of a rant aimed at the UFC, wrestlers, his teammates, Stephen Hawking’s wormhole theory, etc., the Stockton native made note that there was something unusual about Georges St. Pierre’s hand wraps as well. Granted, Diaz also stated that GSP was on steroids, but while that accusation would require a little more, you know, evidence before anyone starts buying into it, the idea that St. Pierre and the Jackson camp might be stretching the rules in regards to his hand wraps didn’t seem that far outside the realm of possibility given the champ/camp’s history with greasing allegations.

It all started when fellow Team Gracie/UFC fighter Jake Shields sent out a vague, accusatory tweet (Author’s Note: Truly a Team Gracie member, amiright?) aimed at GSP in the moments leading up to the fight:

I just checked GSP’s gloves and the wrap looked shady…now commission won’t let me back. Been trying to for the past 30 minutes…. Not saying he’s cheating but wtf?! 

Things only got more tense once Team Cesar Gracie demanded to inspect St. Pierre’s wraps after he had already been gloved up. Thankfully, Dana White was able to make sense of the whole situation during the UFC 158 media scrum.

(If there was ever an image that summed up Nick Diaz’s mental state at all times, this is it. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

By Jack Saladino

After months, nay, years of hype, trash-talking, late night hotel stalking incidents, and promises of Georges St. Pierre unleashing “his dark side,” UFC 158 finally transpired last weekend to mixed reception. While no one was left questioning how great the night’s co-main event battle between Carlos Condit and Johny Hendricks was, GSP’s one-sided, grappling-heavy routing of Nick Diaz — which has become the champ’s M.O. as of late — left more than a few fans wondering just what it would take to get St. Pierre to actually try and finish an opponent. Because if that was his dark side, well, it looked a hell of a lot like his regular side.

On the other side of the coin, many fans saw GSP’s performance as the epitome of dominance and classiness in the face of an adversary that thrives when coercing opponents into playing his game, often through mental warfare and now attempted cheap shots after the bell. Based on his continually skyrocketing ticket sales, it appears that no one has grown tired of St. Pierre’s shtick just yet, but will a fight with Hendricks succeed in bringing in anywhere near as many ticket/PPV sales? And if not Hendricks, then who?

It’s not an easy question for UFC matchmaker Joe Silva to answer, but luckily for him, this is typically the time when the Armchair Matchmaker swoops in and all but does his job for him. So join us after the jump as we break down the potential futures of last weekend’s biggest winners (and some of the losers) in an effort to once again bail out Silva and get ourselves back into the UFC’s good graces. You could detect the sarcasm in that last statement, right?

Georges St. Pierre: Hendricks, then a long awaited superfight with Anderson Silva, then retirement. What…have you not heard about the welterweight champion’s secret UFC exit/world domination plan yet? Well we suggest that you break free from the conformist, white-washed shell of ignorance you’ve been living in all these years and get with the Goddamn picture. Also, the destruction of the Death Star was an inside job. Time to wake up, Taters.

(Props: MSN.FoxSports.com)

In case you missed the fights on Saturday, check out these UFC 158 highlight clips from FOX Sports, which recap Georges St-Pierre‘s steady domination of Nick Diaz, Johny Hendricks‘s three-round war against Carlos Condit, and Jake Ellenberger‘s savage first-round KO of Nate Marquardt. Hendricks and Condit both picked up $50,000 Fight of the Night bonuses for their performance, while Ellenberger took home the same amount for Knockout of the Night; there were no submissions on the card. Though GSP didn’t win any bonus-money this time, he did earn a new UFC record: Most title defenses for a welterweight champion (8), surpassing Matt Hughes‘s career total of 7.

The UFC 158 highlight videos continue after the jump…

One night after being dominated by Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Nick Diaz and some of his homies were apparently stopped and detained by police. Diaz tweeted the above photo afterwards — with the caption “Fuck they got us  ” — but later deleted the post. However, two more photos from the incident remain on his Instagram account, which we’ve placed below…

(Caption: “Yes i am on the sidewalk :/ “)

(You are a great champion and you hit like a girl. I want to retire and I want a rematch. / Photo via MMAWeekly)

Before the judges’ decision for UFC 158′s main event between Georges St. Pierre and Nick Diaz was even announced, Diaz walked over to the man he’d been taunting for years and raised the champion’s hand. It was a far cry from the head games Diaz had been playing with Georges – calling him a coward, accusing him of using steroids, taking swings at him after a round bell, etc. – and St. Pierre returned the gesture of respect in his post-fight comments in the ring to interviewer Joe Rogan.

It did not take long, however, for Diaz to once more insult St. Pierre, at the post event press conference. “He hits like a woman,” a battered Diaz told the assembled media.

“He has his full on range to separate and punch me, but he hits like a girl because he’s too scared to let go to get a real punch in…Five rounds woke me up, I’m ready to fight.”

We’re not sure how Diaz’ buddy Ronda Rousey would feel about him using the female tag as an insult, but she’d probably advise the challenger to make sure he’s ready at the opening bell next time, instead of after twenty five minutes in.

That is, anyway, if Diaz ever even fights again. The veteran re-stated his interest in retiring from the sport he’s competed in professionally since adolescence. “I’m trying to retire,” Diaz said. “I’m trying to get out of this gig, but I would love a rematch. I think I could beat you. I really do, I think I could beat him. I think I could stop the take downs for the first two rounds and get to fight my whole fight and I think I could beat you.”

UFC President Dana White was succinct in shutting down any notion of an immediate title shot for Diaz. “He wouldn’t get a rematch off that fight,” White said. “Johny Hendricks deserves the next shot.”

White also had some advice for Diaz after another strange admission from the California resident. Nick Diaz told the media that he has never paid taxes in his life and that he expects to go to prison for it.

“I’ve never paid taxes in my life,” Diaz revealed.

“I’m probably going to go to jail. And no one wants to hear that kind of talk and what’s going on with me. I might as well just be a kid. I’ve had fight after fight after fight after fight, and you don’t know what that does to somebody who didn’t graduate high school.”

“Holy sh_t. That’s sad,” White said of Diaz’ admission. “You wanna talk about sad? That’s sad. Somebody better handle that with this check and make sure that kid doesn’t end up with nothing.”

Diaz’ manager Cesar Gracie should add getting his client to pay his taxes to the long list of things he should be doing as a part of his job, along with getting him to show up to contractually obligated events.

Oh yeah, Diaz said he slept until 8pm the day of the event and criticized his coaching and teammates as absent and negligent.

Craziness. Anyway, check out video of the full press conference after the jump to get your share of Diaz excuses, Diaz praising St. Pierre, Diaz insulting St. Pierre, and much more.

(I don’t always get so excited about a fight that I quote Tito Ortiz, but when I do, I say July 4th…has come early. Photo courtesy of MMAMania)

GSP. Diaz. The Bell Centre in Montreal. That’s right, Potato Nation, it’s finally time for UFC 158. If I need to say literally anything else to get you excited about this card, there is no hope for you at this point. Please show yourself out quietly, and no, we don’t care how exciting you think spring league baseball nonsense is.

But Georges St. Pierre vs. Nick Diaz isn’t the only great welterweight fight we have to look forward to tonight. Elsewhere on the card, Johny Hendricks battles Carlos Condit, and Jake Ellenberger welcomes Nate Marquardt back to the big leagues. Plus: A middleweight tilt between Nick Ring and Chris Camozzi, as well as a lightweight bout between TUF finalists Mike Ricci and Colin Fletcher, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Handling tonight’s liveblog will be none other than Aaron Mandel, who will diligently record every punch, kick, and Stockton Heybuddy thrown in the cage after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and toss your own observations into the comments section. Let’s do it…

(One day left to wait, folks. Just one day. Photo courtesy of MMAMania.)

The UFC 158 weigh-ins have just finished wrapping up from the Bell Centre in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. And since we’ve…you know, recently been inspired to cut through the bullshit for once in our lives, we’ll skip the bullshit introduction or whatever and get right to the bullshitty video and pampered, bullshit results, which await you after the jump. WHERE YOU AT, GEORGES?!

Fightweets: What if Nick Diaz Wins at UFC 158? (MMAFighting)

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Nick Diaz and the Ten Most Disrespectful Fighters Ever (BleacherReport)

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11 Videos of Children Stoned After Anesthesia (EgoTV)

Man Life: The Relationship Cash and Fulfillment (DoubleViking)

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(No Wolf Tickets)

Nick Diaz put on a wonderful show at yesterday’s UFC 158 pre-event press conference. He called Georges St. Pierre a whiny, phony, ‘roided up point-fighter but then basically shrugged his shoulders when asked if he would pass his own drug test Saturday.

In case he was too vague in his accusations of St. Pierre, Diaz clarified and expanded while on the Tim and Sid radio show shortly after the presser. In addition to his allegations of St. Pierre, Diaz decided to throw his employer under the bus as well.

It all started with Nick saying that he believes the UFC wants him to lose to St. Pierre Saturday night. “I would imagine that they do,” he laughed.

As for St. Pierre, Diaz confirmed that the champion was indeed the strong steroids guy that he alluded to during the presser. “I believe that he’s on plenty of steroids,” Diaz casually said before implicating Canadian and UFC officials.

(Talk about mental warfare, Diaz has gotten so far inside GSP’s head that the champ has apparently forgotten how to hold his hands during a staredown. Look at him, he looks like he’s trying to restrain his excitement while watching a cheerleading competition.) 

The Nick Diaz crazy train continues to roll on, Potato Nation, and was on full display during today’s UFC 158: St. Pierre vs. Diaz pre-fight presser. First, when addressing why he had missed the open workouts — something Nick originally attributed to the UFC’s…I don’t know, flight scheduling? — Diaz claimed that he needed his sleep and that “it was either I miss yesterday’s open workout or I miss this.” Then, when questioned on whether or not he would pass his drug test this time around, Diaz dropped this gem:

I think [at UFC 143] I tested for a metabolite or a nanogram, it was hardly [a trace] so I just did a little more than I did last time so, sorry if I don’t pass the test, but I think it should work out. I’ve passed plenty of them before, unless they just weren’t testing me. I wonder how much they test people around here (glancing at St. Pierre). 

Seriously, this guy is like Sir Smoke-A-Lot, Burt Gummer, and the main character from Pi rolled into one tight, angel dust-laced doober. Are you still questioning whether or not Diaz is the antihero the MMA world so desperately needs?

Check out the full video of the pre-fight presser after the jump for all of these highlights and more, and make sure to swing by our liveblog of UFC 158 on Saturday starting at 10 p.m. EST.

(“Yeah homie, I’m looking at your cup. Really? Seriously bro? You are super rich, you’re pampered, you’re in all the magazines AND you’re hung like a horse! This sh*t ain’t fair and I’m callin’ total bullsh*t bro!” Photo via CagedInsider.)

By Nathan Smith

I can’t believe I am about to type this: A Nick Diaz victory over Georges St. Pierre would be the best thing for the UFC Welterweight division. As an unabashed, almost stalkerish fanboy of GSP, I should not have to tell you how difficult that was to write. But God Damn, that was not easy to write.

With the exception of the 378 days that were the Matt Serra Era (or the Matt Serra Terror Era), GSP has ruled the welterweight division dating back to November of 2006. Let that sink in for just a second. Serra’s reign withstanding, St. Pierre has been the champ since Borat was in theaters and Justin Timberlake was on the top of the Billboard charts. Let me put it another way: In November of 2006, Tim “The Diet Machine” Sylvia was the Heavyweight Champion and Sean Sherk was the lightweight title holder. Are those guys even still alive? There is no way of knowing. Needless to say, St. Pierre has had a pretty damn good run thus far and it might be time for a temporary change of pace, even though he has been an excellent ambassador for the sport of MMA.

Some say that “Rush’s” style is the epitome of dominance while others say he is a lay-n-pray specialist. Is GSP careful to a fault in his fights? Probably, but he has only lost 2 of the 41 rounds he has fought during his current 10-fight win streak. That is fucking insane. Even the almighty Anderson Silva lost 5 rounds to Chael Sonnen in their two meetings, and Anderson Silva once beat Mars in a game of Risk. GSP is athletic as hell and imposes his will with technique and tremendous cardio, but for the very first time in his career, he is fighting a guy with a gas tank better than his own. Diaz is a machine (<– follow this link for immediate proof) when it comes to his cardio and frequently competes in triathlons, which makes him an absolute freak even when compared to that of his fellow athletes.

But this post isn’t about the stylistic differences between Diaz and St. Pierre. It isn’t a breakdown of the fight or a tale of the tape. It’s about the fact that a Nick Diaz victory on Saturday night would be the greatest thing the UFC could possibly ask for. Here are three scenarios explaining why. I’m going to go throw up.

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

Thus far, 2013 has been kind to Zuffa, with PPV’s and TV broadcasts delivering, whether or not this will be the case after this Saturday night is yet to be determined. Will Dana pull Nick from the main event…again? Will GSP unleash the dark side of his personality on Diaz as promised if the Stocktonian does manage to make it to the ring? Or are these fights all fixed and full of cheaters just trying to help out the economy like Don Frye would have us believe?

Buckle up as we head to the great white north and highlight some of the undercard bouts as well as all the main card bouts for UFC 158 in the hopes of cashing in big and possibly helping contribute to the “Save Danga’s Legs” fund.

Undercard bouts (all betting lines courtesy of BestFightOdds):

Reuben Duran (-140) vs. George Roop (+120)

Roop is a slight underdog against Duran, who is looking to bring his UFC record to .500 in this fight. The 6’1″ Roop is making his bantamweight debut and I think his considerable size advantage in this fight may be worth the bet. Duran has proven he can be out grappled (vs. Mizugaki at UFC Live 3 ) and KO’d (vs. Viana at the TUF 16 Finale) by opponents of lower caliber than Roop, so the TUF 8 alum should be able to use his considerable reach advantage to keep Duran on his feet and possibly finish the BJJ specialist. A quick look at Roop’s record shows losses to current and former top contenders, whereas Duran has simply not fought the same level of competition. This fight may be too steep a step up for him right now.

(This guy, a bully? Fahgettaboudit.) 

If you think Nick Diaz does what he does only for attention and not just because its part of his innate Stockton charm, then consider a new interview on The Jim Rome Showfrom UFC President Dana White where he detailed what Diaz did out from under the bright lights and cameras. Remember UFC 137, where Diaz called out Georges St. Pierreafter pissing away his title shot against the champion and being forced to beat up his hero BJ Penn?

Turns out that Diaz’s best harassment of St. Pierre came outside of the Octagon.

“Nobody has talked about this, I haven’t said anything about it, but at one of the fights, the one where he really starts calling Georges out, he was chasing Georges around the hotel and like yelling at him,” White told Jim Rome.

“Georges thought he was going to try to fight him in the hotel. He was just waiting for the elevator doors to open and see Nick Diaz…he was really messing with Georges bad at the fight, like trying to fight him at the hotel. That really pissed Georges off.”

For all the wonderful, riotous moments he’s given us in the ring, Diaz’s most violent moments often seem to come outside of it and soon become the things of legend thereafter. What long-time fan of the sport can ever forget the accounts of Diaz starting a brawl with Joe Riggs in the hospital they were taken to after fighting one another at UFC 57?

(In order to ensure that Diaz made all of his scheduled video interviews, the UFC told him that he was in a triathlon that started at his home and ended at the studio.)

We told you to watch it, but you never listen to us. Fine. We’ll bail you out again.

Last night, Countdown to UFC 158 premiered on Fuel TV. And although approximately less than 4% of MMA fans actually get Fuel TV according to our studies, CagePotato readers can now watch the special any time they want, you entitled sons of bitches. There’s a very good chance that the couple years of intrigue, drama, and trash talk between UFC champion Georges St. Pierre and challenger Nick Diaz will end up having been much more competitive than the actual main event that takes place Saturday, but still, the trash talk and drama is pretty dang good so we’re enjoying it to the last drop.

Countdown to UFC 158 has much, much more of all that good stuff for you; Diaz alternately screaming and quietly mumbling, GSP doing back flips, GSP restraining his anger behind a forced calm face, gritted teeth, and adorable French Canadian accent, etc.

For those needing to catch up, Blair Butler (Yeah, we know, but she’s a funny chick who is cute and who writes a pretty dope MMA-themed comic book, so she’s cool with us) and Cesar Gracie aka. Nick Diaz’s hook up re-hash the last year and a half or so of Nicky boy calling out Georges, then blowing those opportunities once he was given them. Doctor BJ Penn even stops by to diagnose Diaz with Social Anxiety Disorder, so join us after the jump for all the hilarity.

Because either Nick “The Anti-Bullshit Superhero” Diaz has been busy blowing off documentary film crews or Dana White has been lying about Diaz supposedly doing so, we’re not getting a UFC 158 Primetime special. That sucks, especially given the comedy gold Diaz was able to churn out during last week’s media call. Further adding insult to injury is the fact that the crew who brought us past Primetime documentaries is the same that has put together the Emmy award-winning, 24/7 ones for HBO.

Luckily, we still have a lil some’ some’ from the UFC to give us taste of welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre and challenger Nick Diaz’s training camps – a ten minute preview video, complete with analysis from Kenny Florian and bonus footage of Carlos Condit and Johny Hendricks promising to beat the heck out of each other in the night’s co-headlining, #1 contender matchup. Does anyone else foresee a memorable post-fight cage confrontation headed our way?

The correct answer to that question is “yes.” Unless Diaz loses of course, in which case we will be treated to another half-assed pseudo retirement tirade. Should be fun.

It ain’t Primetime, but this video gave us our fix for the day. Besides, Countdown to UFC 158 will premiere on Fuel TV at 11 p.m EST tonight, so if this snippet ain’t doing it for you, the full special surely will.

- Elias Cepeda

(Click the photo for a full-size version. For previous Databombs, click here.)

By Reed Kuhn, @Fightnomics

With what some are calling the “Welterweight Card” at UFC 158 just a week away, it’s time to assess the UFC Welterweight Division in critical striking metrics. In addition to the long-awaited showdown between reigning champ Georges St. Pierre and Nick Diaz, there’s four more 170 pounders all in the title hunt. So a lot of questions will be answered in this division in one night, and it would help to put some of those in context first.

Let’s see how the whole division stacks up against each other, then look at the winners and losers in each category. A full explanation of the chart and variables is included at the bottom of this article.

The Winners

Sniper Award: Veteran Nate Marquardt makes his Octagon return at UFC 158 boasting a best in class 40% accuracy in power head striking. He’ll need it against southpaw Jake Ellenberger, who is pretty accurate himself at 32%. Honorable mention goes to the gritty Matt Brown who recently put his standup skills under the bright lights of the UFC on FOX show, knocking out Mike Swick, who is indeed “quick.”

(Major props to MiddleEasy for the find.) 

Typically, a Monday morning at the CagePotato offices starts with cake. Lots of cake. There’s a staff meeting after that, again, typically held in the context of an underground cockfight or at the very least a back alley dice game. The rest of the day is as you’d expect: team-building medicine ball dodgeball at 11, lunch at Matsuhisa at 1, a full two-hour break to “research” WMMA videos at 3, and finally, Mr. Pibbs and a staff-voted episode of The Wire at 5. The writing usually happens after dodgeball.

But alas, not everyone’s Mondays can be as exhilarating or PCP-laced as ours. That’s where this video of a 14-second double knockout from last Saturday’s Galaxy Fight Night IV comes into play. Because, as you watch Aaron Britt and Brandon Alexander trade right hands and simultaneously topple over like a pair of felled oaks, you will experience nearly one-eighteenth of the life-affirming invigoration that fills the average CagePotato employee on a daily basis. It’s not something most people get to experience in the span of their measly, infinitesimal lives, let alone on a Monday morning at work. So enjoy this, you guys.

After the jump: Nick Diaz, hitting a speed bag, for 23 straight minutes. It is the lethargic, insomnia-inducing yin to this video’s captivating yang, and it will break you.

(“Operation Stockton Jesus Journey, has begun.” Props: prebek)

Chris Weidman on Ending Anderson Silva’s Reign: ‘I Believe This Is Meant to Be’ (MMAFighting)

UFC Champ Dominick Cruz, Brandon Vera and Alliance Training Center Cut Ties With Team Lloyd Irvin (BloodyElbow)

5 Fighters That Continuously Shoot Themselves in the Foot (BleacherReport)

Updated Fight Card for ‘UFC 158: St-Pierre vs Diaz’ (FightDay)

The Classic Goodridge vs. Herrera Knockout, In Etched-Wood GIF Form (Reddit_MMA)

UFC Releases 28-Fighter Cast List for ‘TUF Brazil 2′ (Sherdog)

Mila Kunis Really Knows How To Deal With Nervous Dudes (Break)

The 20 Most-Hated Duke Players of All Time (Complex)

Playoffs: Hottest Asian Babe (KillerFries)

6 Spring Break Horror Stories (MensFitness)

A Gallery of Bad Teen Fashion Through the Decades (EgoTV)

Things You Do on the Internet When You’re Drunk (DoubleViking)

Completely Harmless Photos That Sound Extremely NSFW (WorldWideInterweb)

(Props: mmaheat. Skip to 8:20 for the actual start of the call, in which Dana White announces to everyone that they’re still waiting on Nick Diaz, and Diaz — with perfect comedic timing — says “hello?”)

It’s no hyperbole to say that today’s UFC 158 conference call was possibly the greatest UFC conference call in the history of UFC conference calls. Nick Diaz, who is not known for civility or brevity in the first place, was in particularly batshit form, going off on aimless rants about his “pampered” opponent, and complaining about how he’s not nearly as recognized as he should be, except for when random soccer moms are shouting abuse at him on the streets of Lodi.

At times, Georges St. Pierre was provoked into what sounded like legitimate anger, but he still had trouble getting a word in when Diaz was filibustering, which was pretty much the whole time. (In conference calls, as in MMA, Diaz is a volume striker.) Meanwhile, Johny Hendricks waited patiently for his opportunity to deliver heartfelt lines like “it is what it is” and “take it fight by fight, day by day.”

We can only hope St. Pierre and Diaz’s actual match on March 16th can live up to how incredible this thing was. Check out the full audio above, and join us as we count down the greatest lines of the afternoon…

15. “My life’s a mess. I’m not afraid to admit it. I work hard regardless, through this shit, but I don’t have people toweling me off and handing me water bottles left and right, and getting my training paid for me. I’ve got to do all that shit on my own, and every day I know it, and that’s why I know I have to go that much harder, and concentrate, and do that much more, because I don’t have people taking care of my money or financial tax obligations, or what have you…I’m too busy fighting all your fights, I’m too busy entertaining all the fans. I don’t see anybody else bringing shit to the table.” — Diaz

14. “I think it’s disrespectful that people try to act like I’m not important. You know who I am. Everybody knows who I am. Georges knows who I am. And I know that if I were in his position, I would especially know who I am. Especially. Number one. First and foremost.” — Diaz

(If you haven’t already seen this video of TUF 10 castmember Justin Wren introducing his arm-hair and beard to a village of astounded children in the Congo, watch it, because it’s awesome. Props: Justin Wren on YouTube)

UFC on FUEL TV 8: Top 10 Facts You Need To Know (FightDay)

Must-See GIF: Adrian Cruz’s Scarf-Hold Armlock From Bellator 91 Prelims (Reddit_MMA)

UFC Star Nick Diaz Says GSP Is Crazy: ‘I Would Be Asking for Anderson Silva’ (BleacherReport)

UFC On FUEL TV 8′s Hector Lombard Fearful Of Boring Fight And Possible Release (MMAJunkie)

Veteran Jason MacDonald Retires From MMA (MMAFighting)

Q&A With Cro Cop’s Former Manager: The Man Who Brought Down PRIDE, Part 1 (LiverKick)

Tae Kwon Do Master Nails the Flying Quadruple Hurricane Kick (Break)

The 50 Most Unbreakable Records in Sports History (Complex)

Cleavage Wars: Oscars Edition (KillerFries)

Inside the Mind of Porn Star James Deen (MensHealth)

7 Things I Hate About Skyrim on Xbox 360 (EgoTV)

Accidentally Rich: 3 Inventions That Started As Mistakes (DoubleViking)

Girls With Gorgeous Faces, Part 4 (WorldWideInterweb)