(Surefire prediction: Nobody is getting submitted in this one.)

According to several reports that we have since been able to substantiate with sources close to the bout, Scott Smith will likely make good on his proclamation that he is dropping down a weight class when he takes on newly-acquired welterweight Paul Daley in a December Strikeforce bout. The fight, which is sure to be a slugfest is said to have been verbally agreed to by both fighters.

Daley (25-9-2) has never been knocked out, but Smith (17-7 1NC), who is known for his somewhat reckless, go-for-broke style of fighting will be looking to change that statistic when the pair meet at the end of 2010. 7-3 in his last 10 outings, Daley’s last loss was the decision to Josh Koscheck that saw him tossed from the UFC for attacking the reviled American Kickboxing Academy fighter after the final bell. Since being released by the organization, he has gone 2-0 against Chute Boxe’s Daniel Acacio (21-10) at Impact FC 2: The Uprising in July and American Top Team’s Jorge Masvidal (20-6) at Shark Fights 13: Jardine vs. Prangley in September.

5-4 (1 NC) in his past 10 fights, Smith announced after his most recent loss to former Strikeforce middleweight champion Cung Le in June that he would likely be cutting to 170 pounds to compete as a welterweight, despite having beaten Le handily in his previous outing.

("I got your conference call for you right here, Coker.")

Apparently Nick Diaz doesn’t like conference calls.

If Strikeforce would have read his "Things I don’t like," rider he sent along to them with his signed contract, they would have realized that "conference calls" were on the list before "Mayhem Miller" and after "children" and they wouldn’t have scheduled him for a media call that he had no intention of participating in. 

So instead of pulling the plug on today’s call completely when they realized Nick wasn’t interested in talking to reporters about his October 9 title defense against KJ Noons, they got the next best guest they could get on short notice for the call: Cesar Gracie. No, seriously, that’s the best they could do.

According to Diaz’s outspoken coach, it "isn’t in Nick’s psyche" to do conference calls with his upcoming opponents, but he didn’t have a problem pretending to know what Nick would say in response to reporters’ questions.

Here’s the transcript of the call, which seemed suspiciously more like a scripted infomercial than a conference call at times. I’m not surprised Nick took one look at his lines and said, "Fuck that; I’m out."

(The moral of the story? When Gina Carano does it, it’s awesome. When Paulo Filho does it, it’s terrible. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

Anybody can be forgiven for missing weight by a half-pound — as long as it doesn’t become a habit. But when an MMA fighter comes in a full four pounds heavy, as Efrain Escudero did this week for his doomed UFC Fight Night 22 bout against Charles Oliveira, it tends to raise some eyebrows. As we’ve done previously with steroid busts, we decided to catalog the worst scale-fails in MMA history, arranged by number of pounds over the limit. When the information was available, we also listed the punishments the fighters were given, along with their excuses for missing weight, which range from injuries to salt water to the dreaded “menstrual period.” This is by no means a definitive list — but we’d like it be, eventually. So if you know of any other occasions where fighters missed weight by four pounds or more, or missed weight for multiple fights, please let us know in the comments section.

* Note: We’ve eliminated the “Repeat Offenders” section. In the instances where fighters has notably missed weight on more than one occasion (see: A. Johnson, P. Daley, T. Alves), we’ve ranked them in the leaderboard by their greatest weigh-in failure.

Karl Knothe @ Shark Fights 17
Weigh-in date: 7/14/11
Weight: 253.75 pounds, 23.75 over the 230-pound catchweight limit
How is that even possible? Due to some miscommunication between Knothe and his management, Knothe was never informed that his scheduled bout against Ricco Rodriguez was supposed to be at a catchweight, instead of at heavyweight.
Result: The Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation disallowed Knothe from competing due to the large weight-gap and concerns over excessive weight-cutting. Knothe was paid a portion of his salary anyway, while Ricco Rodriguez instead faced 5-12 replacement Doug Williams. Rodriguez won via rear-naked choke in the first round.

Ricardo Mayorga @ Omega MMA: Battle of the Americas
Weigh-in date: 5/2/13
Weight: 175.9 pounds, 20.9 pounds over the limit for his contracted lightweight match against Wesley Tiffer, who came in at 153. Needlessly to say, shoving ensued.
How was this fight even allowed to happen?: The match took place in Managua, Nicaragua — which is Mayorga’s hometown, by the way — and the Nicaraguan combat sports commission that was overseeing the event didn’t seem to have a problem with the ludicrous weight discrepancy. (I hear they’re much more stringent when it comes to cock-fighting.)
Result: Mayorga by TKO after two rounds, aided by a fairly illegal knee to the spine. Stay classy, Ricardo.
Update: The result was overturned to a no-contest the following week due to the illegal blow, and Mayorga was suspended from MMA for three months. Mayorga was last seen smoking an entire pack of cigarettes and giving less than half a fuck.

(Hipster, please. PicProps: GBRing)

Nick Diaz, it seems, is the new Tapout. Perhaps taking his cue from Jason “Mayhem” Miller’s iron-on awesomeness, Shinya Aoki showed up for a Dream.16 prefight press conference in Tokyo over the weekend sporting his own Diaz T-shirt. Where Miller’s shirt was straightforward and to-the-point, Aoki’s – which is manufactured by the TwoThree clothing company – was a bit more verbose. Seriously, this has to be considered the most unlikely MMA fashion trend since Jesus Didn’t Tap and a muddled attempt to figure out what it all means is after the jump.

(Props: youtube.com/shosports)

It’s not quite Nick Diaz vs. Jason Miller, but Strikeforce is going to do its very best to convince you that Nick Diaz vs. KJ Noons — who’s fighting for the title in his Strikeforce welterweight debut! — is the grudge match you’ve been begging for. And how do they plan on accomplishing that? By staying on message. As you’ll see, the famous phrase "Don’t be scared, homey" pops up twice in this one-minute hype clip for Strikeforce’s next event at San Jose’s HP Pavilion on October 9th. Which begs the question: If "DBS,H" is the theme of the night, why not hold the event in Stockton? What, too real for you guys? Violent crime rate too high? Pussies.

At this point, only two other fights have been booked for the Showtime broadcast of Strikeforce: Diaz vs. Noons II. After earning her employers’ respect with a slam-knockout of Roxanne Modafferi at the last Challengers card, 135-pound champion Sarah Kaufman will make her next title defense against Marloes Coenen, who was sacrificed to Cris Cyborg earlier this year at Strikeforce: Miami. Also, Matt Lindland will follow up his TKO win over Kevin Casey with a bout against hot middleweight prospect Luke Rockhold (7-1), who has ended all six of his Strikeforce appearances by first-round stoppage, including wins over Jesse Taylor and Cory Devela. Christ, good luck Matt.

 
(I think the message was quite clear. I specifically told Nick NOT to be scared.)

It looks like Strikeforce has missed the marketing train once again as the promotion has passed on a self-selling grudge match between Jason "Mayhem Miller" and Nick Diaz and will instead once again pair the latter up with KJ Noons in a rematch of their 2007 EliteXC title bout. In that fight, Noons emerged victorious due to doctor stoppage resulting from a cut sustained by Diaz. More memorable than their bout was the in-cage melee between Team Cesar Gracie and Noons’ father a year later after Noons’ fight with Yves Edwards in Hawaii during which Nick’s immortal "Don’t be scared, homie," line was born. EliteXC brass orchestrated a rematch-hyping staredown between KJ and Nick, but as we have learned, whenever a Diaz is involved, anything can, and usually will happen.

This time around Diaz’s welterweight strap will be up for grabs, which makes perfect sense according to Strikeforce calculus. Anywhere else Noons may have to…I don’t know…win a fight at 170 perhaps before getting a shot for the belt. But this is Strikeforce, where logic is overrated and matchmaking is easy if you have a magic eight ball.

(You taking notes, Tapout? Now *that’s* how you make an MMA T-shirt. VidProps: YouTube/Helwani)

At this point, it would basically constitute an act of grievous, unforgivable promotional negligence if Strikeforce fails to put Jason “Mayhem” Miller in the cage with Nick Diaz this October. When two of your most popular and similarly-sized fighters have a real life beef that comes preloaded with hype from a giant, in-ring brawl your company already aired on national television, it doesn’t exactly take P.T. Fuckin’ Barnum to figure out what to do. Unfortunately, since grievous, unforgivable promotional negligence is what Strikeforce does best these days, this fight will probably never happen.

And you know who’s going to be really pissed about that? I mean, besides us? Mayhem Miller, that’s who. As evidenced by the above video with Ariel Helwani the very topic of Diaz makes Miller totally incapable of using his “inside voice.”

(Video courtesy YouTube/Drinkthewine)

I was pretty disappointed yesterday when this video was pulled down before I could post it as a companion to Nick Diaz’s rant about Jason "Mayhem" Miller, but thankfully someone had the presence of mind to save a copy to their computer and re-upload it or we wouldn’t have this little gem to watch today.

In  the clip shot by Diaz while on a toke break during a biking excursion with his buddies and brother Nate, Nick recalls a story from a few years ago when he got into a fight with two burly brothers who took issue with him blocking traffic with his bike.

20 years from now when Nick Diaz’s MMA career is over and he is holed up in his mom’s house, video blogging about weed, his past glory and cold fission, don’t say you didn’t see it coming.

In this very Dan Quinn-esque video response to Jason Miller’s recent remarks to Joe Rogan about him on the UFC analyst’s Ustream webcast, Diaz goes off on Mayhem for criticizing his ganster lifestyle and for accusing him for starting the Strikeforce brawl.

(Video Courtesy YouTube/JoeRogan.net)

Match-ups between four Strikeforce stand-out fighters are being discussed for a potential October CBS-broadcasted event according to various industry sources.

MMAFighting reports that although he is noncommital whether one of the bouts — a light heavyweight tilt between Dan Henderson and Renato "Bablu" Sobral will happen on the card,  if indeed at all, Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker wouldn’t rule out the possibility that the fight could take place on the rumored October CBS show.

(Paul Thatcher shoots model Jade Bryce for FIGHT!’s July 2010 issue. She enjoys camping, Roger Huerta, and covering her boobs with boxing gloves. Props: FIGHT! Magazine)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– Bold MMA Predictions For The Second Half Of 2010 (Heavy.com/MMA)

- Chad Griggs: Lashley Is Strikeforce’s Golden Child, But Very Beatable (MMA Fighting)

– The Most Ridiculous Nick Diaz T-Shirt Ever Printed (MiddleEasy)

– Community Interview: WEC Featherweight Contender Josh Grispi Answers Questions From Fans (LowKick)

– After TUF Loss, DaMarques Johnson Still Climbing the UFC Ranks (Versus MMA Beat)

– Mitrione vs. Beltran, Dollaway vs. Doerkson set for UFC 119 Prelims on Spike TV (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Brock Lesnar Makes it Rain, PPV Buys That Is (Watch Kalib Run)

– Knockout of the Day: Segio Junior vs. Thiago Gomes da Silva (MMA Scraps)

(Leave it to the professionals, Andy…)

A couple weeks ago, I stumbled across a Bleacher Report article titled “The Top 10 Questions Every MMA Fighter Should Be Asked.” It was written by a teenage contributor named Dale De Souza who, at that point, had only done one interview with an MMA fighter, but still felt like he’d accumulated enough wisdom to put together a guide for aspiring MMA journalists. Isn’t that adorable? For the most part, De Souza’s question suggestions are pretty standard fare if you’re interviewing an up-and-comer that fans don’t know much about, and you don’t mind being unoriginal. (i.e., “How did you get into the sport?” “Which team are you training with in preparation for your next bout?” “Do you like to stand with your opponents or take them to the ground?”)

As the founding editor of CagePotato.com, I’ve been interviewing MMA fighters for nearly three years, and through trial and error, I’ve learned a lot about what not to ask during fighter interviews. Dale will learn this stuff in time, but to save him (and others like him) a lot of heartbreak, uncomfortable silences, and dull articles, I’ve put together a list of my own. Read on, and avoid these interview questions at all costs…

1. Will you choke me out?/Will you kick me in the leg?
Don’t do it. It’s been done, and you might end up in the hospital. You’ll have to find another way to make your name by humiliating yourself. (By the way, barfing on camera has also been done.)

2. What’s your gameplan for [opponent's name]?
As it turns out, very few fighters are willing to publicly reveal what they’re planning to do to their opponents, in specific detail; go figure. So don’t expect a satisfying response to this question. Most of the time, you’ll get some variation of “I’m just gonna focus on what I do best, and try to show everybody what I’m capable of.” Boooooooring.

(Shields was pleasantly surprised to find his locker at the UFC training centre stuffed with the "respect" Strikeforce failed to show him.)

When Jake Shields announced that he would be testing the free agent waters when his Strikeforce contract ended this summer, every MMA fan and journalist collectively thought, "He’s going to the UFC." Strikeforce must have been thinking the same thing, considering they let Shields, who is their middleweight champ, go without a fight by releasing him without tendering a final offer before he began the open negotiation period with other promotions.

Even if a company like the UFC made an offer, Strikeforce, by rights could have matched any offer on the table, but by releasing him from his contract, the only thing they did was possibly prevent a bidding war resulting salary increase for Shields.

He told BJPenn.com that the release was totally unexpected.

“It came as kind of a surprise. I hadn’t really been talking to Strikeforce and pretty much everyone knows that I want to go to the UFC. We got our negotiations going with the UFC and they (Strikeforce) dropped me without any warning and it came out of nowhere. It is what it is and I’m moving ahead with the UFC contract and hopefully that will be worked out soon.”

(Video courtesy YouTube/Fight!Magazine)

It’s do or die time for Stephan Bonnar Saturday night (MMAMania)

Rashad cool with waiting until March for shot at Shogun (MMAJunkie)

Lesnar will make ten times what  Carwin will tomorrow night (MiddleEasy)

Nick Diaz will be out until late summer serving SF suspension (MMAWeekly)

Erin Toughill isn’t afraid of Cyborg (TheGarv)

Bibiano Fernandes explains how he was recruited to help BJ prepare for Edgar (TATAME)

20 hottest ring girls (Heavy)

Backflips ain’t easy (Break)

Newly casted movie Spiderman is a dweeb (ScreenJunkies)

7 frighteningly smokin’ screen babes (Chickipedia)

First look at the 2011 Ford Mustang RTR (MadeMan)

LOL race pics: blame Gordon (AllLeftTurns)

Dwayne Wade has second meeting with Chicago Bulls (ScoresReport)

Assassins Creed Brotherhod gameplay (FileFront)

Don’t eat it (FunnyJunk)

Sweet ass parade (NothingToxic)

A thank you to creepy late night gas stations (HolyTaco)

(Jason "Mayhem" Miller, shown here with two of the countless enemies he’s made over the years.)

Losing your middleweight champ to the UFC after his contract runs out? Disaster. But Strikeforce plans to turn their lemons into lemonade with an upcoming eight-man tournament that will crown a new champion in their deepest division. Here’s what King Coker had to say about the MWGP he’ll put together if Jake Shields splits the scene:

A two-event tournament means that the semi-finals and finals could potentially be held on the same night, Japan-style. And looking at that lineup, we see a lot of potential for sick matchups and serious grudge-settling. Think about it…

("For years, Forrest Griffin has been waiting anxiously to find himself in a post-apocalyptic future. Why’s he so excited about the near-extinction of mankind? Think about it: with grooming and personal hygiene no longer a prerequisite to social acceptance, you can let your mutton chops grow and live out your secret fantasy of becoming Wolverine. You could kill squirrels with your bare hands, practice throwing knives all day, and never have to say ‘excuse me’ after farting." Props: Amazon.com)

Some must-see highlights from our friends around the Internet. Show your support. Tip your waitress.

– Chael Sonnen Pulls Out of Oregon State Senate Race (FightMagazine)

– Punch Drunk Preview: Strikeforce Los Angeles (Heavy.com/MMA)

- New EA Sports MMA Trailer from E3 (MMA Scraps)

– Scott Coker Thinks Nick Diaz vs. Mayhem Miller Will Happen Within Year (MMAFighting)

– This UFC Board Game Will Have You Addicted (MiddleEasy)

– Battlefield Medicine: Rich Franklin’s Broken Arm (WatchKalibRun)

– The Fight After the Fight: BAMMA Stiffs Petruzelli, War Machine, Horwich (Five Ounces of Pain)

(Fun Fact: The name “Stockton” comes from an Arapaho Indian word which, loosely translated, means “place of the classy-ass motherfuckers.” PicProps: Minor League Baseball.com)

Representing the greater Stockton-Modesto-Lodi area isn’t just for barely socialized mixed martial arts fighters anymore. The above gentleman with the pronounced abdominals and stylish ink is the homie Dallas Braden, a 26-year-old lefthander for the Oakland Athletics. Aside from being a quality starting pitcher who tossed the 19th perfect game in Major League Baseball history last month against the Tampa Bay Rays, Braden (as you might be able to surmise from the photo) also happens to have grown up in the beautiful 209.

Hailing from Stockton is a birthright that obviously comes with its own great and terrible responsibilities, a fact that Braden felt he had to introduce to some dirtbag named Alex Rodriguez earlier this season …

(Diaz vs. Sakurai. The actual fighting begins about the 3:15 mark. VidProps: YouTube.)

His claims of being the No. 1 pound-for-pound fighter in the world are a bit of a stretch, but Nick Diaz did what everyone expected him to do last night at Dream.14, handling Hayato “Mach” Sakurai en route to a first-round submission win. The biggest surprise of the fight was Sakurai’s striking, as he came out throwing enough heavy leather to make the Strikeforce welterweight champ decide he didn’t want none on the feet in the early going.

Aside from a couple of stand-up exchanges however,  Diaz smothered Sakurai on the ground, eventually securing an arm bar three minutes, 54 seconds into the first round. For Sakurai, who said earlier this week he wanted to retire as soon as he became an “ordinary” fighter, that time may be now.

Complete Dream.14 results after the jump.

(Pretty sure we know who these "unnamed" individuals are)

Loretta Hunt from Sherdog is reporting that the Tennessee State Athletic Commission has recommended that five "unnamed" individuals involved in the April 17 post-fight Strikeforce: Nashville brawl face stiff punishments to the tune of a $20,000 fine and nine-month suspension from competing and cornering fighters at MMA events sanctioned by the Association of Boxing Commission partnering agencies.

According to Hunt, a sixth person was also identified and will also be cited for his part in the brawl, although the party was not licensed by the TAC for the event.

(A motivated Sakuraba is a dangerous Sakuraba. That doesn’t apply here, obviously, but I’m just saying. Check out more DREAM.14 weigh-in photos at dreamofficial.com.)

We haven’t given this event much play because, let’s face it, none of these fights really amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Nick Diaz is probably going to chew up Hayato Sakurai, who has been stopped in his last two outings. Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Ralek Gracie is a sideshow, even if it’s one with a historic hook. (Minowaman vs. random fat-guy Imani Lee is just a sideshow, period.) Kid Yamamoto is facing a middling prospect, while Joachim Hansen — who’s riding his own two-fight losing streak — will look for his first win at featherweight. The only real questions are: 1) How good will Diaz look? and 2) Will Saku add another beating to his highlight reel? Still, if you happen to have HDNet and DVR service (or insomnia), it’s better than nothing. Weigh-in results are below. Come back tomorrow for complete results and selected fight videos.

8. WW: Nick Diaz 76.0kg vs. Hayato "Mach" Sakurai 76.5kg
7. 88kg Catchweight: Kazushi Sakuraba 86.5kg vs. Ralek Gracie 87.4kg
6. FW: Hiroyuki Takaya 65.0kg vs. Joachim Hansen 65.0kg
5. FW: Norifumi "KID" Yamamoto 59.8kg vs. Federico "Kiko" Lopez 62.0 kg* (Lopez came in way over the fight’s 60kg limit; he will be given time to lose the weight this afternoon.)
4. FW: Hideo Tokoro 63.0kg vs. Akiyo "Wicky" Nishiura 62.8kg
3. FW: Kazuyuki Miyata 64.2kg vs. Takafumi Otsuka 64.4kg
2. FW: Yoshiro Maeda 60.7kg vs. Kenji Osawa 61.0kg
1. Openweight: Minowaman 88kg vs. Imani Lee 150kg

After the jump: Diaz explains why he’s the #1 pound-for-pound fighter in the world.

Video courtesy ShootMedia)

It’s amazing how perception works.

Nick Diaz is convinced that he and his Team Cesar Gracie teammates were attacked by Jason "Mayhem" Miller and his Team Quest teammates following Jake Shields’ win over Dan Henderson at Strikeforce’s Nashville show in April and he says that by "fighting back" they were merely defending themselves.

"I’m the last person who wants to take a punch from somebody and I don’t know who out there wants to hit me. All I know is this guy…Gilbert pushes him back and he runs at us and we’re fighting now. You want me to be the victim here and just let my boy get punched, or me? We’re on one team." 

(The Diaz brothers discuss competing with class, the delusion that MMA is a sport, and give the definitive answer on who would win in a fight between them. Wonderful stuff from Fight Magazine.)

– Manny Gamburyan vows to "do genocide" on Mike Brown tomorrow night at WEC 48. (Bleacher Report)

– Ben Henderson’s dream job? Exotic food-eater. (Cagewriter)

– BJ Penn shreds Dana White in his new book. (BloodyElbow)

– Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin official for UFC 116 in July. (MMA Fighting)

– M-1 says Strikeforce is to blame for their recent negotiation delays, and Fedor is frustrated at his long layoff. (Sherdog)

– Matt Hughes vs. Ricardo Almeida in the works for August. (MMA Weekly)

– Chael Sonnen’s latest bit of anti-Silva propaganda. (Inside MMA)

– Three featherweight fights added to DREAM.14, including Joachim Hansen vs. Hiroyuki Takaya. (Nightmare of Battle)

– TUF 11 "Minority Report" member Kris McCray defends Jamie Yager and says Rich Attonito took a dive. (The Rhino Den)

– 2010 NFL Draft first-round recap. (Scores Report)

– Awesomely sexist vintage ads. (Asylum)

– The Top 29 Best Cities To Live In. (Ask Men)

– 25 Examples of Unintentional Porn. (Holy Taco)

– 8 Bands Worthy of a 3D Concert Film. (Screen Junkies)

– How to Facilitate a Threesome (Made Man)

– Ten-car smash-up at the Texas Motor Speedway. (All Left Turns)

– Jeweler defends store against thieves with samurai swords. (Nothing Toxic)

– Must-see: Variety show erupts during baseball rain-delay. (Break)

So here it is — the moment that might have sunk Strikeforce’s chances at getting on network television ever again. (As if the monotonous fights didn’t do enough damage to their stock.) When the video cuts away at the 0:15 mark, you miss two things: Jake Shields shoving Jason Miller for getting too close, and Gilbert Melendez shoving Miller immediately afterwards when it looks like Mayhem might retaliate. And then it’s time for the shit to have its blind date with the fan. At this point, Scott Coker’s only hope is that the post-event brawl creates enough heat that CBS wants to give them another chance, selling Strikeforce as the fight club where Anything Can Happen! More likely, CBS will simply want to cut ties with a volatile sport where anything that can go wrong often does.

So how much of the blame for the incident should lie with Miller, and how much should be put on the Scrap Pack? Should Melendez and the Diaz brothers et al. be charged with assault as some are suggesting? After the jump: Nick Diaz, Jason Miller, and Jake Shields give their sides of the story.

(Sorry Nick, but there’s no way you’re winning this competition for overall chest viewership. Photo courtesy of Esther Lin’s archives.)

You can probably put this in the ‘fights that would have been great two years ago’ category, but at least it’s happening. According to GracieFighter.com – your go-to source for very brief stories on why the Gracie squad rules and you totally suck – Nick Diaz will be fighting Hayato “Mach” Sakurai in a 170-pound, non-title bout at Dream.15 in Tokyo at the end of May.

It’s a fight Diaz has been trying to secure for some time, only in light of Sakurai’s recent decline it seems far less competitive now. Sakurai lost his last two fights in decisive fashion, first to recent Diaz victim Marius Zaromskis via head kick, and then to Akihiro Gono via armbar. What’s worse is how uninspired he looked against Gono, as if he would rather be anywhere else than in the ring.

If that same Sakurai shows up to fight Diaz, who’s riding a six-fight winning streak since his TKO loss due to cuts against KJ Noons, it could be a very quick and painful night in front of his home crowd.

(Props: backcaster421)

To be fair, I think it’s really cool that your dad is Internet-savvy enough to record video blogs and post them to YouTube. I was a little worried after your mom divorced him, but it seems like he has a good outlet for expressing his opinions now, and he’s probably not as depressed as he would have been otherwise. 

That being said, I have to disagree with your dad’s take on Nick Diaz. Nobody said that every professional athlete has to be a role model for our youth that are growing up, particularly the ones that depend on a "bad boy" persona to be marketable. Diaz may be a loud-mouth punk, but he’s also one of the best welterweights in the world, and some of us actually find his antics entertaining. He’s not for everybody, I know. There might be a generation gap that’s keeping your dad from appreciating Nick’s unique brand of don’t-give-a-fuck-ness. And the middle fingers are a bit much, no argument there. But does that mean he should be banned from the sport, like your dad is suggesting?

As for the part about Robbie Lawler beating Diaz down to his knees and forcing him to his apologize for his mouth, please tell your dad that they fought once back in 2004, and Lawler got wrecked, so he’ll have to find another hero for his Nick Diaz humbling-fantasy. Nothing personal, it just seems like your dad has a lot of anger he’s still working through, and it might be a good idea to look for some new hobbies for him. Anyway, send him my best, and we’ll see you guys at Brian’s wedding, okay? 

Previously: Well-Informed Fight Expert Explains How He Would Beat the Inbred ‘Feedor Emelenkio’

(Noons celebrates a TKO [via cut] victory over Diaz, which he is sure will shut Nick up for good. Yep, he’s definitely heard the last of this bit of business.)

KJ Noons may have temporarily abandoned his dreams of boxing greatness to return to MMA, but you can forget any hopes you had of seeing him jump right back in against Nick Diaz in Strikeforce. Noons’s first fight back will instead take place at Dream.13 on March 22, where he’ll face Brazilian lightweight Andre “Dida” Amado. For those of you who don’t know, “Dida” is a Muay Thai specialist who is 6-3-1 in his six-year career, and he’s coming off three straight losses, including a submission defeat to Gesias Cavalcante and a TKO loss to Eddie Alvarez.

In other words, this fight is not exactly a leap back into the shark tank of MMA. It’s more like easing into a hot bath filled with some mildly pissed off lake trout. But hey, maybe that’s what Noons needs to get reacquainted with all this kicking and kneeing and grappling stuff. It has been almost two years since his last MMA fight, a TKO victory over Yves Edwards. Maybe he needs to beat up a Brazilian in Japan, get comfortable again, and then it’s back to the U.S. to show Nick Diaz that he is totally not scared, homey. That’s how it would go down in our perfect world, anyway.

After watching this video of Jose Canseco in the gym with Nick Diaz and his boys, we still don’t know whether the former slugger is really learning anything about fighting.  All we know is that he has seen what real training looks like when professionals do it, and that he had the foresight to make sure that somebody was shooting video of him while he witnessed it. 

Honestly, this might be a more interesting video if we could remove Canseco from the frame altogether.  Then you’d just have Nick Diaz explaining some of the finer points of the clinch game, which is pretty awesome.  If that’s not enough to hold your attention, there’s also some Fifty Cent to bob your head to.  See?  Something for everyone.  Except Jose Canseco.  He only watches videos if Jose Canseco is in them, which results in him watching a lot of really annoying videos.  Or unintentionally hilarious ones…

(Something tells me this photo wasn’t Nick’s idea.)

The above photo of Jose Canseco smokin’ and jokin’ with the Diaz boys at their Lodi, California academy comes to us courtesy of NathanDiaz.com, the website that would like you to know that you are, in fact, a punk bitch.  Looks like the unholy union between the Cesar Gracie team and baseball’s most infamous attention whore/steroid snitch is now a reality, at least in some form. 

We were holding out hope that Nick Diaz’s well-established dislike for exactly the type of jock asshole that Canseco is might prevent him from letting Canseco use the squad as a stepping stone in his ongoing attempt to turn MMA into some sort of half-assed celebrity boxing.  No such luck.  Now we just have to pray that one of the Diaz’s breaks his arm in a training "accident" and sends him back to pleading for tanning salon endorsement deals on Twitter, where he belongs.

Strikeforce, if you’re reading, just so we’re clear about this, DO NOT SIGN JOSE CANSECO TO FIGHT FOR YOU.  Herschel Walker was one thing.  He took it seriously, said all the right things, and even though the quality of his fight proved exactly why you don’t put 0-0 fighters on TV, we’re willing to overlook it.  But Canseco?  No way, homie.  He just wants a quick buck and cheap attention.  Stay away.  We cannot stress this enough.

(‘Screw this, baby. Let’s go to IHOP.’)

You’d think Cesar Gracie – head trainer/enabler to Nick and Nate Diaz – would have enough head cases in his life to keep himself busy. Either that’s not true, or else perhaps he’s developed a taste for difficult students, because now he is actively courting Jose Canseco. Silly us, we hoped it was just an empty, impulsive gesture when team members put out a video of them in a diner inviting Canseco to come on down and learn how to fight. But now the Gracie squad says it has reached an agreement to train Canseco for a fight with Herschel Walker “should that matchup happen.”

Hopefully that matchup won’t happen, and as a result Nick Diaz will not have to face a crisis of conscience for helping Canseco in his efforts to demean MMA for his own financial gain.  Why the Gracie team wants anything to do with him is a mystery in itself.  Unless they’re not getting a big enough piece of Diaz’s six-figure payday and are dealing with a dire financial situation, you’d think they’d want to stay away from a guy who has proved so toxic to everything he touches.

("Cyborg" Santos proves that a female fighter can stop a punch just as good as a male one, and for less money too. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine.)

While the rest of the nation might be slowly inching toward gender equality in the workplace, in MMA a woman still does a man’s job for pennies on the dollar. At least, that’s the situation for women not named Gina Carano, which is to say it’s the situation for all the women actively pursuing an MMA career at the moment. This, among other lessons, becomes clear once we take a good hard look at the official payouts from Saturday night’s Strikeforce event.

Nick Diaz: $100,000 (no win bonus)
def. Marius Zaromskis: $30,000

Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos: $35,000 ($15,000 win bonus and $5,000 "championship" bonus)
def. Marloes Coenen: $2,000

Herschel Walker: $600 (no win bonus)
def. Greg Nagy: $5,000