(Props: mmaheat. Skip to 8:20 for the actual start of the call, in which Dana White announces to everyone that they’re still waiting on Nick Diaz, and Diaz — with perfect comedic timing — says “hello?”)
It’s no hyperbole to say that today’s UFC 158 conference call was possibly the greatest UFC conference call in the history of UFC conference calls. Nick Diaz, who is not known for civility or brevity in the first place, was in particularly batshit form, going off on aimless rants about his “pampered” opponent, and complaining about how he’s not nearly as recognized as he should be, except for when random soccer moms are shouting abuse at him on the streets of Lodi.
At times, Georges St. Pierre was provoked into what sounded like legitimate anger, but he still had trouble getting a word in when Diaz was filibustering, which was pretty much the whole time. (In conference calls, as in MMA, Diaz is a volume striker.) Meanwhile, Johny Hendricks waited patiently for his opportunity to deliver heartfelt lines like “it is what it is” and “take it fight by fight, day by day.”
We can only hope St. Pierre and Diaz’s actual match on March 16th can live up to how incredible this thing was. Check out the full audio above, and join us as we count down the greatest lines of the afternoon…
15. “My life’s a mess. I’m not afraid to admit it. I work hard regardless, through this shit, but I don’t have people toweling me off and handing me water bottles left and right, and getting my training paid for me. I’ve got to do all that shit on my own, and every day I know it, and that’s why I know I have to go that much harder, and concentrate, and do that much more, because I don’t have people taking care of my money or financial tax obligations, or what have you…I’m too busy fighting all your fights, I’m too busy entertaining all the fans. I don’t see anybody else bringing shit to the table.” — Diaz
14. “I think it’s disrespectful that people try to act like I’m not important. You know who I am. Everybody knows who I am. Georges knows who I am. And I know that if I were in his position, I would especially know who I am. Especially. Number one. First and foremost.” — Diaz
(If you haven’t already seen this video of TUF 10 castmember Justin Wren introducing his arm-hair and beard to a village of astounded children in the Congo, watch it, because it’s awesome. Props: Justin Wren on YouTube)
We’re less than one month away from UFC 158, where welterweight kingpin Georges St-Pierre will take on Nick Diaz in a fight we’ve been waiting almost eighteen months to see. At this point, it’s too late for a petty disagreement to cancel this fight. Nothing short of an act of God is going to stop this fight from finally happening, which is obviously great news when Nick Diaz is involved, because once again, Diaz has apparently been no-showing his media obligations.
Well, we do, and chances are Diaz does as well since he’s been sitting on the sidelines for nearly a year serving out his most recent marijuana-related drug suspension. So it surprised us to hear that Diaz, who is receiving a world title shot for the third consecutive time despite coming off of a loss and failed drug test suspension, still seems to be walking the line with the UFC and its President Dana White.
MiddleEasy recently spoke with White and asked him if he expected Diaz to make good on his pre-event promotion commitments this time around before his scheduled fight with St. Pierre at UFC 158. “He’s been sitting out so long. This is a fight that he wanted. He really wanted this fight to happen and Georges St. Pierre called him out. He’s getting it. So, yes, I expect Diaz to be there,” White said.
When asked if he had actually received such an assurance from Diaz himself, however, Diaz said that he had not even spoken with the fighter recently despite reaching out to him. “I have not. Nick Diaz doesn’t return my calls, texts, nothing,” he said.
Nick Diaz fans, it’s time to put your money where your stinkin’ mouths are. MMAFighting gives us the heads-up that UFC 158‘s main event just opened up with Georges St. Pierre as a -430 favorite, and Diaz as a +310 underdog. In other words, a $100 bet on Diaz would net you a $310 profit should the challenger win on March 16th, enough to buy you some of that good weed.
About a month ago, the UFC’s welterweight title picture cleared up after nearly two years of confusion. Champion Georges St. Pierre returned after a long injury-induced lay off to face and beat interim champion Carlos Condit and Johny Hendricks stopped Martin Kampmann to establish himself as the clear number one contender to the St. Pierre’s belt.
Despite this, St. Pierre lobbied to face the suspended Nick Diaz, who had a shot against St. Pierre but then gave it because of, you know, reasons, lost to Carlos Condit and then tested positive for marijuana metabolites. Diaz will indeed get another crack at St. Pierre on March 16th in Montreal, assuming he decides to pick up a phone for media conference calls and make all his flights, and Hendricks will risk his earned #1 contender status against Jake Ellenberger on the same night.
Speaking to MMA Fighting this weekend, Hendricks said that the UFC made him take the Ellenberger fight and stuck to his “Georges is running scared,” line. “Man, he’s scared,” Hendricks said.
Rory MacDonald has the kind of lifeless, black eyes that would make Dr. Sam Loomis shiver at night. For an example of this, see his post-fight call-out of Carlos Condit at UFC on FOX 5, in which he delivered a speech so precise and monotone that it begged audiences to ask whether or not he had practiced it over and over and over again on the collection of flesh-covered marionettes he keeps locked in that one room in his house with a deadbolt on the door.
Obviously shaken up by MacDonald’s speech was that of Dana White, who, fearing he would end up as a bald cap on one of those marionettes, caved into Rory’s demands faster than the French in insert war of your choice here. So just five days out from his dominant win over B.J. Penn, MacDonald has already been booked to rematch the ironically-nicknamed “Natural Born Killer” in Condit at UFC 158 in Montreal. The man responsible for both MacDonald’s only professional loss and the shrine of hair and blood samples that looms over the Canadian’s fireplace, Condit is fresh off a title-losing bid to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 154. Condit and MacDonald first met at UFC 115, where despite stealing the first two rounds, “Ares” found himself eating elbow sammiches for the majority of the third until referee Kevin Dornan called a stop to the bout with just seven seconds remaining. It is no coincidence that Kevin Dornan has been missing ever since.
And speaking of people getting exactly what they wanted, it looks like GSP will likely be defending his title against rival Nick Diaz at the same event, although according to Dana White, the “deal isn’t done yet.” Diaz’s manager, Cesar Gracie, confirmed that the former Strikeforce welterweight champion has been offered the bout, but if you ask us, we’d recommend that you save your excitement for the moment these two are actually staring at each other from across the cage. Celebrating before that is simply setting yourself up for disappointment.
(18 seconds in = that moment when you realize you’ve literally been screaming obscenities on national television for the past 15 seconds. Props to FightersOnly.)
We should all be thanking our lucky stars for tape delay, because if it weren’t for the quick minds (and fingers) of the UFC’s censorship department, some of our children might have had their minds permanently tainted by the obscene gestures and naughty words used by two men trying to beat the ever-loving shit out of each other last Saturday night. And that is unacceptable. I mean, violence is one thing, but the middle fingerbeing thrown about all willy-nilly?! I don’t want my illegitimate children growing up in that kind of cold, harsh world.
And God forbid the censors had let the onslaught of f-bombs delivered by BJ Penn‘s trainer during his introduction (as captured above) slip past them, or we would have had a full blown crisis on our hands. As you can see, the gentlemen to the top left of the screen — likely through some sort of Hawaiian, mumbo-jumbo voodoo ritual that involves the repeated shouting of curse words — somehow absorbed all of the energy Penn was supposed to have stored up for his fight with Rory MacDonald in the moments beforehand. It’s the only explanation of how Penn gassed in a minute and a half, and the defense I am prepared to use whilst trapping my disappointment in his performance deep in the recesses of my soul.
Anyway, I spent most of my morning drowning my sorrows in alcohol compiling a playlist of awesome, semi-MMA-related videos from around the web that will last you through your lunch break, so check ‘em out after the jump.