seth rogen james franco the interview
Six Other Seth Rogen/James Franco Films That Should’ve Been Canceled

Tag: Nick Diaz

“Mayhem” Miller Gets Haircut, Ponders Race Relations


(Say what?!)

Oh, “Mayhem” Miller. You so crazy. You manage to turn what would normally be a boring blog post about a bad haircut into a saga of misadventure. We can only imagine what it must be like to be you on a full-time basis.

Miller’s recent blog entry diverges into a blend of social commentary and possible mental illness when he wanders into a barber shop and begins battling it out with the voices in his head:

“This place looks legit.” I thought, in the way that schizophrenics hear in stereo. “It has a rotating pole, a cruddy sign with the owners name on it, and smells like chemicals,” the voice in my head then paused to let me enter. Inside was a cute black chick about my age and an older black dude, kinda pudgy and wearing fubu or something else unfashionable. The chocolate bunny mustve had something better to do, so she left the moment I looked like I was staying.

“Its an older black dude, and you want a short haircut, perfect, they always know how to hook it up” my brain said but then retorted “that’s fucking racist dude, you’re judging his haircutting on his skin tone- ‘haircut profiling’ if you will.” The voice came back again, “yes, yes I am but I am just drawing from my experience, and how many good short haircuts have we got from older black dudes, as compared to the child molester/Nicholas Cage looking guy on melrose?” Touche’ voice 1, touche’.

“Have a seat. I can take ya now.” Pudgey Older Black Man says, “What can I do for you?” in a tone that was nice enough. “Trim it up man. I want to get it faded down to the skin, maybe keep some of the top.” (For future installments of the strip of doom.) I guess I shouldn’t have said the word “skin” because that is all he heard and before I could look up I had half a bowl-cut. “Aw damn, man.. I, aw..”

You know, I never thought about it before, but Nicolas Cage does look an awful lot like a child molester. Well put, “Mayhem.”

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Quick Hits: IFL’s Wagnney Fabiano Headed to WEC, Noons/Diaz Officially Scrapped

Perhaps the most talented of the unsigned IFL fighters out there — featherweight champ Wagnney Fabiano — may have finally found a new home. Tatame reports that the Brazilian has signed with the WEC, supposedly to fight in the bantamweight division. That already seems a little fishy, and then you add in this garbled quote from Fabiano that mentions WEC featherweight champ Urijah Faber, and it seems like there might be a slight mistranslation problem:

“My objectives is to grown in the event and get the title. Let’s start with a tough and focused work. It won’t chance anything in my life, I’m always serious and go to any event to win. My goal is to fight for the belt and do my best”, said the athlete, that analyzed the champion, Urijah Faber.

“Faber is the best of the world now. To beat him, I think you have to be in a good shape. He’s an expert fighter and he has a good gas, it’s complicated to beat a guy like him. You have to set a good game plan and be calm and watch the elbows, because if you hits you can change a whole fight.”

Well, I’m officially confused. Either Fabiano is planning to drop down to 135 pounds and the remarks about Faber were just for kicks, or Tatame has it wrong and he’s really signing on as a featherweight. With the WEC hurting for challengers to Faber’s throne, the latter seems more likely.

- In other news, MMA Rated reports that the KJ Noons-Nick Diaz bout that Elite XC had hoped to add to their October 4 event on CBS is now officially off. Elite XC VP Jared Shaw said the organization was unable to come to terms with Noons’ agent, Mark Dion, and added that throughout the entire process no one from Elite XC was able to personally speak with Noons. Shaw said they wouldn’t be stripping Noons of the lightweight title just yet, but expressed hope that he would “wake up and smell the Hawaiian coffee.” That’s the kind of remark that should convince him to come around.

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Morning Trash Talk Roundup: Shields, Trigg, Florian, + Shaw

Shinya Aoki MMA
(Grow some bushido, y’pansy.)

“I guess they were trying to get Aoki, but he’s got no bushido. I don’t think Aoki wants to fight me. He’s got no warrior spirit. He’s from Japan, who would have thought?” — Jake Shields issues his own “Don’t be scared, homey” to Shinya Aoki, who allegedly turned down an offer to fight EliteXC’s welterweight champ.

“This is the flaw with American fans. On the one hand, the American fan is incredibly intelligent and gets the game and understands what’s going on, but literally the other hand is, the other 50 percent of them are morons who have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about.” — Frank Trigg on the superiority of Japanese MMA fans.

“To be honest he was really slippery and I don’t mean that like technically-wise, he was really slippery. I don’t know, I don’t want to speculate and say that something was used or whatever but he was just hard to hang on to and that was from all the positions. Even when I had him in like a headlock or a guillotine everything was just really slippery…all I know is I’m good at keeping those positions and I know the difference between sweat and something else and it felt like something else but who knows. (Jokingly) Maybe it’s Albolene left over from the day before from the weight cut!” — Kenny Florian politely accuses Roger Huerta of being a filthy, greasy cheater.

“I would say the only guarantee K.J. has is to pull up a chair and watch the event and get comfortable on that chair because he’ll be sitting for a little bit.” — EliteXC VP Jared Shaw on K.J. Noons’s options if he declines the fight with Nick Diaz.

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KJ Noons’ Manager Tells Elite XC What They Can Do With Their Deadline


(You thought the fight was messy…)

Three KJ Noons stories in one day? It feels like that episode of “The Twilight Zone” where everyone looked like pigs except for the one blonde girl, only instead of everyone looking like pigs they’re all talking about KJ Noons, which is even crazier. I don’t know who would be the blonde girl in this analogy, but you get the point.

Insane though it may be, this is too good not to report. You remember the deadline put forth by Jared Shaw? Where he said KJ Noons had until 5 pm today to agree to the bout with Nick Diaz, and if he didn’t he would face the dreaded “public opinion” as a consequence? Well, get your opinions ready, because according to Noons’ manager, Mark Dion, they aren’t concerned in the least with Shaw’s ultimatum:

“The update on [the deadline] is nothing is going to happen with it,” Dion said. “That’s what’s going to happen with that. I don’t care about how many threats [Shaw] wants to pull. We’ll be doing a press conference if EliteXC doesn’t see the light here pretty soon and if Shaw doesn’t stop talking [expletive].”

“As far as Nick Diaz, he’s not the No. 1 contender out there,” Dion said. “To [EliteXC] he is. He’s the number one (for getting) eyeballs to (watch) them. They’re pushing on eyeballs versus a career move for a champion like KJ. KJ is really not the one who gets anything out of the fight. Diaz does and so does ProElite.”

“We’ll do a press conference to discuss everything,” Dion said. “But there’s nothing in it for KJ unless [EliteXC] finally wakes up a little bit. That’s why we’ll have a press conference. I don’t like to talk and beat a company that’s already beat down. I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully they’ll see the light.”

Looks like the relationship between KJ Noons/Mark Dion and Elite XC/Jared Shaw just went from unfriendly to straight-up hostile. Dion just had to go and mention that Pro Elite is struggling. That’s like bringing someone’s mother into the argument. Now this thing is personal.

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KJ Noons Unmoved By Shaw’s Criticism

KJ Noons

Strangely, it seems as if Jared Shaw’s strategy of openly insulting Elite XC lightweight champion KJ Noons in the press isn’t compelling him to play nice with the organization. Weird. Even the ultimatum — and everyone loves being issued an ultimatum — hasn’t convinced him to sign the bout agreement. So what is Noons planning to do?

According to a report from MMANews.com, nothing much for the time being. But it doesn’t sound as if Shaw’s remarks are helping any:

“A few things will be settled over the next few days,” Noons told MMANews.com “but for now we’ll just let Jared Shaw go off on his little rants and let him have his fun, this isn’t bothering me.”

“I just need a couple more days to get this stuff worked out and then I will be able to say my piece and clear my name of everything that is being said and everything that is going on.”

That doesn’t exactly sound like a man who’s eager to sign a bout agreement. That sounds more like a man looking for a way out. Apparently he isn’t moved by Shaw’s threat to make him “face public opinion.” Maybe he realized that if Jared “$kala” Shaw hasn’t been destroyed by public opinion yet, it’s not quite the all-powerful force it’s being made out to be.

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EliteXC Issues Ultimatum to Noons, Books Shields vs. Daley

KJ Noons EliteXC MMA
(Noons: More elusive than Machida? Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

Jared Shaw has had enough. The EliteXC vice president told MMA Junkie that KJ Noons has been given one more day to accept an October 4th title fight with Nick Diaz. “A bout agreement has been sent to KJ Noons,” Shaw said. “He has until 5 (p.m. PT Thursday) to accept it, or he can face public opinion.”

In a longer interview with MMA Junkie posted yesterday evening, Shaw strongly criticized Noons and his management for their unwillingness to commit to the Diaz fight. Some highlights:

“I’m sitting here and I’m drinking from a carton of milk right now. And the EliteXC lightweight champion KJ Noons’ face is on the back of this milk carton because he’s missing in action. I can’t seem to find him.”

“Since day one [Noons' manager] Mark Dion has been insinuating that EliteXC has been out to get KJ Noons. I just can’t figure that out. When a guy appears on the very first card — and the very first fight gets knocked out in the very first round off the very first punch — and we’re there to hold his hand and pick him back up and put him right back on television in a main event on ShoXC? And then when he’s 1-1, get him right back into a main event situation for the world championship against Nick Diaz, the legend who beat Gomi, how are you going to say that we’re not trying to help your kid? What more opportunity could we give the kid?”

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EliteXC Confirms KJ Noons’s Bitchassness

KJ Noons Nick Diaz MMA EliteXC

When Nick Diaz rails on about how KJ Noons is ducking him, we generally chalk it up to Nick being his usual abrasive self. Turns out it’s not just trash-talk — EliteXC has been desperately trying to set up a rematch between the two 160-pounders for its October 4th show on CBS, but Noons’s management isn’t even returning EliteXC’s phone calls. Said Jared Shaw:

“I don’t understand it. This fight on CBS is maximum exposure and the opportunity for maximum sponsorship dollars, way more than he could make on Showtime. At this point, I question his management…For some reason (his camp) is not coming straight out and saying no, but they are making it very difficult to make it happen. His manager doesn’t want us talking to him directly. Who knows what K.J. even knows about the situation, but his management is holding us hostage…K.J. signed a contract. All we want is for him to honor that contract, fight on October 4th on CBS, and prove that he’s the champion we think he is. Right now, he’s not representing us as the EliteXC champion.”

You may recall that Noons previously had major contract disputes with EliteXC related to him appearing on CBS cards, so there’s surely more to this story, as much as Diaz would like to believe that Noons is simply terrified of him. But whatever Noons’s motives are, avoiding this fight seems like an offense worthy of a belt-stripping. EliteXC needs the heat from this matchup to boost their third CBS card, which is a do-or-die moment for the organization in some ways. If Noons can’t fulfill the responsibilities of a champion, he’s basically useless to them. Besides, wouldn’t KJ want to prove that his cut-stoppage TKO over Diaz last November was more than a bullshit technicality? Is he cool with being a paper champ?

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Diaz Claims He Passed Drug Test, Still Trying to Get Paid by Dream


(‘Where’s my money, homey?’)

In a new post on Graciefighter.com, a media outlet which might be slightly biased in favor of Nick Diaz, Stockton’s favorite son is said to be looking for a fight and an overdue paycheck. The site claims that Diaz passed his drug test for “Elite XC: Unfinished Business” — good news, assuming it’s true — but he is still waiting on his fight purse for his last bout in Dream. He beat Katsuya Inoue back in May, though the site says he hasn’t received “a cent” in payment for his work.

Can you really do that if you’re running a major MMA promotion? I’d hate to think of what happens if you don’t pay one of the Diaz brothers for a fight. Something tells me it involves you waking up wrapped in duct tape while they stand over you with their middle fingers in your face. Terrifying.

It’s a shame, too, since Diaz is supposedly hoping to face off against Hayoto Sakurai in September if he can’t convince KJ Noons to give him a rematch for the Elite XC title at the organization’s next big show on October 4. All this waiting around means Diaz doesn’t have a fight lined up for August, and since he seems to want to fight at least once a month, in between triathlons, he’s slated to put the gi back on and do some jiu-jitsu tournaments. Say what you will about Nick Diaz, he does work, son.

(Props: Five Ounces of Pain)

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Stockton Stand Up!

It seems that wherever local news cameras go they manage to zero in on the idiots in the crowd almost effortlessly. It’s no different in this footage from Sacramento’s Channel 10, which Steve Cofield thankfully dug up. Bashing an entire city based on the people who find their way on to the evening news is not only easy and kind of unfair, it also turns out to be lots of fun.

For those of us who have always wondered about what Stockton is really like after hearing the Diaz brothers wax poetic about it for years, it is indeed an insight. The ladies who show up around the 0:47 mark to insist that “we aren’t an advocate of bloodshed, although we don’t hate on it if it happens” are a couple of stalwart examples of the kind of girls you might meet at an MMA event (if you’re lucky).

Not content to let the plebes make the point for him, Cofield also refers to a recent study that claimed Stockton had the highest illiteracy rates of any American city with a population over 250,000. Ouch. But I guess if you want a town that breeds its share of tough fighters, you don’t necessarily go looking for the city that issues the most library cards.

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“Unfinished Business”: The Aftermath

Nick Diaz EliteXC MMA Stockton
(“I’d like to say fuck you to all my fans, fuck you to everyone at Cesar Gracie Jiu-Jitsu who helped me train for this fight, a huge fuck you to my brother, fuck you to my sponsors Chase Chevrolet and Stagr…” Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

If CBS’s latest “Saturday Night Fights” card proved anything, it was that the EliteXC brand isn’t strong enough yet to pull in viewers without its marquee fighters. “Unfinished Business” drew 2.62 million sets of eyeballs according to f4wonline.com, and while that’s not a ratings disaster, it does represent almost a 50% drop from the “Primetime” show in May, which was headlined by Kimbo Slice and Gina Carano. Getting the ratings back on track will be priority #1 for EliteXC’s next show; during Saturday’s broadcast, it was announced that “Saturday Night Fights III” (actual title TBA) will go down October 4th at the BankAtlantic Center near Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and Mr. Ferguson and Ms. Carano have been booked to fight.

Now the question is, who will they be fighting? We previously mentioned that Kelly Kobald was being discussed as the next opponent for “Crush/Conviction,” but Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos had a star-making performance this weekend with her double-homicide of Shayna Baszler, and a Carano/Cyborg matchup would probably be the biggest fight in women’s MMA right now. As for Kimbo, who freakin’ knows. Brett Rogers is still the most obvious choice for Ferg’s next opponent, but EliteXC has been cagey about confirming it, leading some to wonder if Rogers is being saved for Antonio Silva’s first heavyweight title defense. Regarding a Slice/Rogers match, EliteXC’s Head of Fight Operations Jeremy Lappen said “I’m not sure if that’s the fight fans want to see right now,” telling Sherdog that EliteXC is now looking at four or five potential candidates for Slice’s next opponent. He wouldn’t name names.

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