(‘Screw this, baby. Let’s go to IHOP.’)

You’d think Cesar Gracie – head trainer/enabler to Nick and Nate Diaz – would have enough head cases in his life to keep himself busy. Either that’s not true, or else perhaps he’s developed a taste for difficult students, because now he is actively courting Jose Canseco. Silly us, we hoped it was just an empty, impulsive gesture when team members put out a video of them in a diner inviting Canseco to come on down and learn how to fight. But now the Gracie squad says it has reached an agreement to train Canseco for a fight with Herschel Walker “should that matchup happen.”

Hopefully that matchup won’t happen, and as a result Nick Diaz will not have to face a crisis of conscience for helping Canseco in his efforts to demean MMA for his own financial gain.  Why the Gracie team wants anything to do with him is a mystery in itself.  Unless they’re not getting a big enough piece of Diaz’s six-figure payday and are dealing with a dire financial situation, you’d think they’d want to stay away from a guy who has proved so toxic to everything he touches.

("Cyborg" Santos proves that a female fighter can stop a punch just as good as a male one, and for less money too. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine.)

While the rest of the nation might be slowly inching toward gender equality in the workplace, in MMA a woman still does a man’s job for pennies on the dollar. At least, that’s the situation for women not named Gina Carano, which is to say it’s the situation for all the women actively pursuing an MMA career at the moment. This, among other lessons, becomes clear once we take a good hard look at the official payouts from Saturday night’s Strikeforce event.

Nick Diaz: $100,000 (no win bonus)
def. Marius Zaromskis: $30,000

Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos: $35,000 ($15,000 win bonus and $5,000 "championship" bonus)
def. Marloes Coenen: $2,000

Herschel Walker: $600 (no win bonus)
def. Greg Nagy: $5,000

(Talk that shit now, "Nurse Jackie."  Photo courtesy of AllElbows.com)

Strikeforce: Miami drew 517,000 viewers on Showtime this past Saturday night, proving that there are some benefits to putting well-known but largely untested fighters in against outmatched opponents. The numbers may not have been quite as good as the 576,000 viewers who tuned in to see Gina Carano and “Cyborg” Santos go at it back in August, but it was still a marked improvement from the 341,000 that watched the last Strikeforce offering on Showtime in December.

So what made the big difference this time? Was it Herschel Walker’s appeal to the common sports fan? Bobby Lashley’s drawing power among pro wrestling fanboys? The mere presence of Wes Sims, one of MMA’s tallest fighters? There’s no way to know for sure, but we’re going to go ahead and speculate that it was some combination of all three, plus all the people who have sold Nick Diaz weed at some point in the past.

The one somber note to all this is that once again the replay of a UFC event – this time UFC 107 – beat Strikeforce in terms of sheer numbers. Spike TV pulled in 2.2 million viewers with B.J. Penn and Diego Sanchez, though of course they did have the advantage of being available in roughly eight times as many homes. Still, over half-a-million people on a premium cable network in lean economic times is nothing to be ashamed of.  Now if they could only work in some kind of vampire-related storyline they might really draw huge audiences.  Your time to shine, Stephen Quadros.

(Marius Zaromskis had no idea getting kicked in the face was so unpleasant. If you’ll excuse him, he has some apologies he needs to get to. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine.)

Who’s up and who’s down after a weekend of fistic goodness on Showtime? The Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system is here to tell us, so everyone gather ‘round and pay attention.  We are in no mood to repeat ourselves.

Nick Diaz +137
Stockton’s finest does it again, deflecting “The Whitemare’s” assault and putting him away with relative ease. Flushing the THC out of his system must have been harder than the actual fight, and way less fun. Strikeforce says “Mach” Sakurai is likely next for Diaz, despite his two-fight losing streak and general recent decline. Guess a fight with Jay Hieron would just make too much sense.

Marius Zaromskis -73
You can’t fault the guy for a lack of aggression. His early blitz almost panned out, but Diaz’s height and reach advantage helped him stay out of range and wear Zaromskis down. We’d still like to see more of him in Strikeforce, though. Any guy who brings the fight like Zaromskis will always have a place in MMA.

(Nick Diaz vs. Marius Zaromskis)

From last night’s Strikeforce: Miami show. More after the jump…

("Nice flower-tattoo, cupcake. I just got a tattoo of the Virgin Mary being ripped apart by pitbulls, directly on my asshole." / Photo courtesy of Strikeforce. More pics are below, including one of an alarmingly fat Wes Sims.)

Tonight’s Strikeforce event at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida (aka "Miami") has such a fantastic mix of high-level MMA and can’t-look-away freak shows. On the top of the card you’ve got Nick Diaz battling for Strikeforce’s vacant welterweight title against head-kickin’ rising star Marius Zaromskis, while 145-pound lady-champ Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos makes her first belt defense against Dutch submission artist Marloes Coenen. On the other end of the card, 47-year-old former football star Herschel Walker will kick off his cage-fighting career against Greg Nagy, while Wes Sims — who owns the physique of a 47-year-old — will do his best to avoid getting squashed by pro-wrestler Bobby Lashley. And somewhere in-between, Robbie "Brawler" Lawler and Melvin "Man-Hoof" Manhoef will launch leather at each other until one of them can no longer intelligently defend himself. If you’re not excited for this card, then you probably don’t use words like "excited" in general. Live results from the Showtime broadcast will be piling up after the jump, starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

Update: Dubus22 wins the t-shirt! Please send your name, address, and size to feedback@cagepotato.com.

(Finally, someone to ask Herschel Walker the hard-hitting questions, like how do you deal with a spontaneous erection in the middle of math class? Photo courtesy of All Elbows.)

The main card fighters all managed to make weight today for Saturday night’s Strikeforce: Miami event, though we did find out that if Herschel Walker plans on making a serious go of it in MMA, he might want to consider a drop to light heavyweight.  Not that there’s no market at all for a 214-pound heavyweight, but it is quickly disappearing. 

The boys on the undercard did have a few minor glitches, with some coming in heavy and some laboring under paperwork problems, but as long as "Cyborg" Santos avoided female trouble we have to term this one a complete success.  Don’t forget that we’ll be liveblogging the entire Showtime broadcast, so come back here on Saturday night to get your fill of commentary, live results, and what passes for wit around these parts.  Full weigh-in results are below.

Nick Diaz (169.5) vs. Marius Zaromskis (169)
Cristiane Santos (144.5) vs. Marloes Coenen (143.75)
Bobby Lashley (252.25) vs. Wes Sims (258.25)
Melvin Manhoef (185.75) vs. Robbie Lawler (185.75)
Herschel Walker (214.25) vs. Greg Nagy (210.5)
Jay Hieron (170.25) vs. Joe Riggs (170.5)

Trying to interview Nick Diaz is a lot like trying to help an elderly person use the self checkout machine at the supermarket.  It’s a test of patience and will, and a part of you knows that you never should have gotten mixed up in this to begin with.  But, if you keep at it, as Ariel Helwani does in this video, you’ll eventually reach the point where all the groceries have been scanned and bagged, even the produce, and your new friend will smile at you around wrinkled eyes and ask, ‘Who do I make the check out to?’  That’s when it all feels…worth it?

Though at times it seems like Diaz would rather be doing anything else than answering Helwani’s questions, we do eventually get some answers that help us further understand his bizarre and often openly contradictory world view.  For example:

– A decision should not be decided by takedowns.  It should be decided by who was winning at the end, and who would have won if the fight would have continued indefinitely.

– A decision should be decided by who looks more "fucked up" afterwards.  Even if you tapped the guy out but got your ass beat, you still got your ass beat.

January has been a slow month for those of us who thrive on the thrill that comes with losing large sums of money on MMA fights. But fortunately we’re going out with a bang this weekend thanks to Strikeforce: Miami, which brings us a loaded fight card on Showtime and provides the opportunity to make reckless decisions that will haunt us for years to come. The good news is, with the launch of our brand new MMA FightPicker game, you can now get all the fun that comes with predicting fights against your CP brethren, but without the threat of getting your thumbs broken when you can’t pay up. You’re welcome.

Odds for Saturday night’s Strikeforce event come to us from BestFightOdds.com:

Nick Diaz (-220) vs. Marius Zaromskis (+222)
Cris “Cyborg” Santos (-550) vs. Marloes Coenen (+461)
Robbie Lawler (+160) vs. Melvin Manhoef (-175)
Herschel Walker (-325) vs. Greg Nagy (+250)
Jay Hieron (-264) vs. Joe Riggs (+275)

The breakdown…

(Wow. If that mug gets any meaner we might have to get a restraining order.)

Nick Diaz seemed a little out of sorts on today’s conference call to promote Strikeforce: Miami.  Or maybe that was completely in sorts for Diaz.  There’s no way to know for sure.  When asked to give an opening statement Diaz seemed a bit lost, replying, "Am I supposed to have something to say?"  Later, when asked to give an assessment of Marius Zaromskis‘ skills, Diaz shot back, "Why?  What is this shit?  I apologize.  I just woke up.  I didn’t even know this call was going down."  

Once Diaz got his bearings he managed to describe Zaromskis as "a good fighter," adding, "Anybody who’s going to be fighting at this level is a good fighter.  It’s like an oxymoron." 

It isn’t, actually, but no one was about to challenge Diaz on that after the struggle it took just to get any answer at all.  Fortunately, things got better from there.  Some notable moments:

(Noons and Diaz on the same card again? Don’t be scared, homey…)

Though Marius Zaromskis line-jumped him for a Strikeforce welterweight title shot, Jay Hieron has made peace with the disappointment and is ready to move on with his career. "All good things come to those that wait," Hieron recently told MMA Junkie Radio. "Trust me, I’m going to make a statement in my next fight." If early reports are accurate, that statement could come against welterweight veteran Joe Riggs at Strikeforce: Miami (1/30), supporting the Diaz vs. Zaromskis headliner. Riggs was victorious in his last two Strikeforce appearances against Luke Stewart and Phil Baroni, and picked up a couple of wins last month in smaller promotions against two guys with losing records. Hieron is on a six-fight win streak, most recently scoring a unanimous decision against Jesse Taylor at Carano vs. Cyborg in August.

This month’s Strikeforce card is also expected to feature the MMA return of KJ Noons, best known for becoming EliteXC’s 160-pound champ after beating Nick Diaz via cut stoppage in November 2007 — then losing his belt when he refused a rematch. Noons hasn’t competed in MMA since his 48-second smoking of Yves Edwards in June ’08, after which he left the sport to take a few boxing matches. According to MMA Mania, his return fight will put him up against undefeated lightweight Billy Evangelista, who most recently won a decision over Jorge Gurgel at a Strikeforce Challengers event in November. If Noons can get past Evangelista, he’s a factor again. Will we eventually get to see a rematch between Noons and Diaz? Or at least another family vs. family post-fight brawl? Is there a statute of limitations on bitchassness?

You didn’t think we were going to let another calendar year run out without paying homage to this year’s big winners and mocking the year’s biggest idiots, did you?  Naw son, that’s not our style.  2009 was an eventful year with plenty of ups and downs, but after casting our ballots and tallying up the votes (there’s only two of us, so it really shouldn’t have taken as long as it did, but there was a lot of yelling and a little crying) we have some awards to give out.  The envelopes please…

Fighter of the Year: Fedor Emelianenko

The year was not without disappointments for the sweatered one.  He missed a chance to fight Josh Barnett and walked away from another chance to sign on with the UFC.  All the same, he reinforced his status as one of MMA’s most dominant fighters with knockouts of Andrei Arlovski and Brett Rogers.  Meanwhile, Anderson Silva had one snoozer and one great fight out of his weight class, while GSP beat a lightweight and won a decision to retain his title.  Sorry boys, Fedor’s 2009 was way more fun.

Beatdown of the Year: Anderson Silva vs. Forrest Griffin

"The Spider" didn’t just beat FoGriff, he straight-up violated him.  It’s one thing to do that against a woefully outmatched challenger in your own weight class, but quite another to do it to a former champ from the division above yours.  Never have we seen such a clear demonstration of the vast chasm between good and great as we did on that night.  You can hardly blame Griffin for running out of the Octagon after that.  We’re sort of amazed that he waited until the fight was over to do it.

(Nick Diaz, photographed here saying something very articulate and respectful. Props: AllElbows.)

According to MMA Weekly, Strikeforce’s January 30th event in Sunrise, Florida, will be headlined by Nick Diaz and Lithuanian head-kick-artist Marius Zaromskis battling for the organization’s vacant welterweight title. Diaz, who hasn’t competed since his submission win over Scott Smith in June, was originally scheduled to fight Jay Hieron for the welterweight strap at "Carano vs. Cyborg" in August, but was pulled from the card after skipping a pre-fight drug test.  MMA Weekly points out that while the Florida State Boxing Commission (which oversees MMA in that state) prohibits performance enhancers and narcotic use, it doesn’t require a pre-fight test for "drugs of abuse," and it doesn’t have any bylaws addressing “compassionate use."

In other words, Diaz should be able to compete there without too much of an issue, though who knows if we’ll ever see him fight in his home state again. Unfortunately, this leaves Hieron as the odd man out once again, which must piss him off to no end considering he signed with Strikeforce specifically to fight Diaz for a belt. "Strikeforce: Miami" is also slated to feature Cristiane "Cris Cyborg" Santos‘s first title defense against Marloes Coenen and the Strikeforce debuts of Herschel Walker and Bobby Lashley.

Related: Only one undercard fighter missed weight for tonight’s Strikeforce event. Also, Mike Whitehead will have a 43-pound weight advantage over King Mo in their heavyweight scrap. CagePotato.com’s liveblog of the Showtime broadcast kicks off at 10 p.m. ET. Don’t be a stranger.

(Noons vs. Diaz I.  Yeah, we’re assuming there’s going to be a II soon.)

It’s been over a year since K.J. Noons was stripped of his EliteXC title and accused of all manner of bitchassery by everyone from Nick Diaz to Jared Shaw, but he’s finally decided to sign with an MMA promotion and give this crazy sport of ours another try.  Sherdog reports that Noons has signed with Strikeforce and will make his debut in either December or January. 

What we really want to know, however, is how long until the Noons and Diaz clans get to go at it again.  There’s some serious unfinished business there, and with Nick Diaz’s recent wins over Frank Shamrock and Scott Smith while Noons was off being a mediocre pro boxer, maybe "King Karl" can see fit to give Diaz a rematch and settle this thing once and for all, weight classes be damned.  Like the prophet said, "Thou shalt not be scared, homey."  Only if/when those two do get together again, maybe Strikeforce shouldn’t plan on doing it California.  MMA’s Rosa Parks still isn’t ready to make nice and give up his seat just yet.

(Does this look like a man who considers the consequences and repercussions of his actions?)

Nick Diaz’s chief enabler/manager Cesar Gracie weighed in on the California State Athletic Commission’s recent clarification of their stance on athletes and medical marijuana. If you’ve followed the adventures of Cesar and Nick in past episodes such as “Nick screws over Strikeforce” and “Nick gets pulled from EliteXC event,” it probably won’t surprise you to know that Gracie isn’t responding by insisting that his fighter get clean or find himself new management:

“Just when he gets licensed, he probably shouldn’t smoke,” said Gracie. “That’s my advice to him. If you’re going to fight, don’t smoke. Besides that, there are a lot of states in the country. He could go fight in Japan. He could fight wherever he wants.”

[…]

(Bad news like this is never easy to hear. Nick’s just going to have a minor freakout and then he’ll be with you in a moment.)

As any California resident with ADD and a desire to make jam bands seem worth listening to already knows, getting a prescription for medical marijuana in the Golden State is really no problem. Fighting for a living after smoking said medical marijuana, however, that’s a trickier issue.

Nick Diaz has the state’s consent to smoke his little heart out, but he doesn’t have the CSAC’s permission to fight with it in his system. His ability to beat a drug test with sufficient notice is well documented, but so is his inability to even show up for the test when he doesn’t get that notice. Just to make sure their position on medical marijuana use by licensed athletes is clear, the CSAC went ahead and made their case for coming down hard on the Nick Diaz’s of the sporting world, issuing a statement that draws upon state supreme court precedent to arrive at this conclusion:

Because the Compassionate Use Act only provides a defense to criminal charges, any argument that the Act would allow an athlete to use the drug without consequences to his or her license must fail. If the Court were to take up a similar challenge to discipline of a licensee, it would likely find that the Commission has a legitimate interest in whether or not an athlete uses the drug because marijuana could slow a fighter’s reflexes and endanger his or her health and safety in the ring or the cage.

Therefore, given the limited reach of the Compassionate Use Act and the rationale of the Supreme Court in Ross v. RagingWire Telcomm, the Commission may safely discipline an athlete without running afoul of any law or court decision.

(Props: The Garv)

We have no idea why it took us so long to see this, but at last month’s Xterra World Championship in Hawaii, Nick Diaz, who loves himself a triathlon, had a minor mishap during the biking portion.  For some reason there was a camera mounted on his handlebars, and now we get to enjoy the action without getting our knees and elbows all scraped up.  The best thing about this is that after he falls, as we should have expected, Diaz just doesn’t give a fuck.  He just gets up and grabs his wheels and he’s off and rolling again.  We’d say you got off lucky, bike.  That was worth a Stockton heybuddy at the very least.

Before we get to our favorite comments of the week, we’d like to give some love to CagePotato reader James W., who e-mailed us the photo above, and the story below:

Thanks for sharing, homey. Hopefully a brand-new CagePotato t-shirt will ease the pain of that horrible missed opportunity which will likely haunt you for the rest of your life. Now, then…

("…moooooooorrrrrrrre brreeeeeaaaaaaasssssst miiiiiiiiilllllllk…")

Props to Fightlinker for unearthing this absolutely amazing baby picture of Brock Lesnar, proving once and for all that Lesnar arrived in this world enormous, ornery, and ready to consume everything in his path. (Not pictured: The tiny pacifier tattoo on his chest.) Check out that Krang-esque head-shape; my God, his poor mother. More awesome pics of MMA fighters as youngsters after the jump…

It seems like the trials and tribulations never end for Jay Hieron.  The guy has had two different organizations pull fights out from under him, then he signs with Strikeforce in order to get a title shot against Nick Diaz, which he now can’t get due to Diaz’s, well, I’ll paraphrase Hieron here and call it "[monkeying] around." 

Talking to Steve Cofield, you can hear the anger and frustration in Hieron’s voice as he wonders why Diaz can’t get off the weed and forget about this boxing pipe dream long enough to do the only feasible fight that makes sense at this point.  Honestly, what is Diaz doing these days?  I realize he’s probably on his own program, but how long can you do bong rips and watch reruns of "227" before you wake up one afternoon and realize that your best years are slipping away and you’re not making the most of them?

If anybody has suffered enough in this business, it’s Hieron.  For Pete’s sake, Diaz, give the boy the fight.  You’ve got the rest of your life to get high and [monkey] around.

("…so I came to the point where I knew my life had become unmanageable, and if I was going to get well again, I had to turn my life over to a higher power. Nah, just fuckin’ with you, I hotboxed in the car on the way over here." Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

After Nick Diaz‘s love of the ganja screwed "Carano vs. Cyborg" out of a welterweight title fight, we wondered if Strikeforce would finally decide that the Stocktonite was too much of a liability to keep around. Well don’t worry, Diaz fans, because that little misunderstanding has been completely sorted out. As Scott Coker said during the "Carano vs. Cyborg" post-fight press conference:

(Nick’s the shirtless guy in the back who just don’t give a fuck. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

For a card that’s already seen its share of unfortunate pull-outs, the last thing that "Carano vs. Cyborg" needed was Nick Diaz putting his welterweight title fight in danger due to his rampant marijuana addiction. And yet, rumors have been swirling since Saturday that the Diaz/Hieron match might be scrapped due to licensing issues. FiveOuncesofPain has gotten the full story from California State Athletic Commission Assistant Executive Officer Bill Douglas. It’s a long read, but a fascinating (and infuriating) one, and it awaits you after the jump.

(In light of this fight being moved from a ring to a cage, "Babalu" would now like to amend his statement about where Mousasi will be peeing.)

Good news, fight fans.  Attempts at salvaging the wreckage of the cursed S.S. Affliction have already resulted in the resurrection of one main card bout.  The scheduled fight between Renato “Babalu” Sobral and Gegard Mousasi has now officially been picked up by Strikeforce for their August 15 event in San Jose.  Strikeforce sent out a press release announcing the addition this afternoon, and confirming that Sobral’s Strikeforce light heavyweight championship will be on the line.  Naturally, this puppy has been added to the televised portion of the card, so the outlook just got a little brighter for Strikeforce despite some recent holes appearing in the lineup.

So there’s one good fight we’ll still get to see.  Now Strikeforce’s big question is what to do about Nick Diaz, who lost his scheduled opponent when Joe Riggs had to pull out.  At least two good welterweights just had their calendars free up when the Affliction cancelation left Jay Hieron and Paul “Semtex” Daley without a place to beat each other up.  Might one of them swoop in to try their luck against Diaz?  We’re expecting to hear something on that one soon, so don’t wander off…

("Side effects may include headache, dry mouth, constipation, and Huttism.")

Strikeforce’s monumental "Carano vs. Cyborg" card may have lost another title fight. Earlier this week, the scheduled heavyweight championship bout between Alistair Overeem and Fabricio Werdum went up in smoke due to Overeem’s infected hand. Now, it appears that the rematch between Nick Diaz and Joe Riggs — which would have decided Strikeforce’s first welterweight champion — could be off as well. According to GracieFighter (via FiveOuncesofPain):

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

In the wake of UFC 100 — and UFC 99, the TUF 9 finale, the Bellator finals, and the last Strikeforce show — we’ve updated the heavyweight, light-heavyweight, middleweight, welterweight, lightweight, and pound-for-pound lists in our Power Rankings section. Some notable changes:

— Due to recent accomplishments, Georges St. Pierre supplants Fedor Emelianenko as the #1 pound-for-pound fighter in the world. Over the last two years, GSP has taken out Josh Koscheck, Matt Hughes, Matt Serra, Jon Fitch, BJ Penn, and Thiago Alves. In the same time frame, Fedor has beaten Matt Lindland (middleweight), Hong Man Choi (freak), Tim Sylvia (fat slob), and Andrei Arlovski (glass chin).

— Urijah Faber and Thiago Alves fall out of the P4P top ten, while Jake Shields and Dan Henderson come in. I’d still give the #11 spot to Faber, with Gegard Mousasi directly behind him.

— Diego Sanchez, Rich Franklin, Hector Lombard, Yoshihiro Akiyama, and Nick Diaz enter the rankings, either for the first time or in new weight-classes. You’re welcome, guys.

Give ‘em a look and let us know what you think.
(BG)

(Strikeforce’s coveted "Hater of the Year" title will also be up for grabs. Image courtesy of CageToday.)

Talk about making up for lost time. After a 12-month drought that gave us only one light-heavyweight championship match and an interim lightweight title scrap, Strikeforce has decided to just say "fuck it" and call every bout on their next card a title fight.

It has been confirmed that the upcoming grudge match between Nick Diaz and Joe Riggs — originally slated for the undercard of the "Carano vs. Cyborg" show on August 15th — will now decide Strikeforce’s vacant welterweight title. The bout will join the lightweight title rematch between Josh Thomson and Gilbert Melendez, the heavyweight championship battle between Alistair Overeem and Fabricio Werdum, and the main event, in which Gina Carano and Cris Cyborg will go five rounds for Strikeforce’s first-ever 145-pound women’s title. So yes, three of these four title fights will be rematches. Deal with it.

(Photos courtesy of UFC.com.)

According to a new report on FiveOuncesofPain, a welterweight rematch between Nick Diaz and Joe Riggs has been added to the undercard of Strikeforce’s "Carano vs. Cyborg" event (August 15th, San Jose). Due to the show’s main card featuring as many as three 25-minute matches — the historic headliner, the lightweight championship rematch between Josh Thomson and Gilbert Melendez, and the still-unconfirmed heavyweight title fight between Alistair Overeem and Brett Rogers — Diaz vs. Riggs II may not make the televised Showtime broadcast.

The two fighters first met at UFC 57 in February 2006, where Riggs won a unanimous decision; infamously, they continued their fight later that night at a hospital. Bad Boy and Diesel were both successful at "Lawler vs. Shields" earlier this month, with Diaz choking out Scott Smith and Riggs outlasting Phil Baroni. Considering their tense history and shared love of trash-talk, this should be a great one. No other matches have been confirmed for "Carano vs. Cyborg" besides the ones mentioned above, though Roger Gracie and Erin Toughill are expected to participate.

After making my MMA highlight reel debut with "Sakuraba: Survivor," I decided to follow it up with a new compilation that’s both shorter and less depressing. The concept of "Stranglehold" is quite simple: Here are some of the most creative and infamous choke-submissions in recent MMA history, soundtracked by Ted Nugent. The cast of characters include Nate Diaz, Dan Miller, Renato "Babalu" Sobral, Shinya Aoki, BJ Penn, Nick Diaz, Demian Maia, CB Dollaway, and Toby Imada. Let me know what you think, and if you dig it, please share with a friend.

(BG)

Brett Rogers at Strikeforce Press Conference – 6/6/09 – Watch more Funny Videos

I wanted to get this stuff up yesterday but technical issues got in the way; better late than never, right? Anyway, here are some highlights from the Strikeforce press conference following "Lawler vs. Shields" on Saturday night. Above, Brett Rogers takes the mic to discuss his victory over Andrei Arlovski, shake his head about the Kimbo Slice/Ultimate Fighter situation, and call out Alistair Overeem. ("I was planning on picking [Overeem's championship belt] up today," he says. "Hopefully he’s keeping it good and clean for me.") Later, Grim says he’d be open to a big-money fight with Fedor, shouts out his new gym, and of course, promises to keep on doin’ work.

After the jump: Nick Diaz publicly humiliates a reporter, while Phil Baroni says he just wanted to win for his dad — while his long-suffering wife has been working two jobs to support him — in another emotional press conference appearance.

(How’s taste this career-shattering loss? Photo by Esther Lin for Showtime Sports.)

What a weekend of fights, and amazingly, all without the benefit of the initials “UFC.”  Instead we had Strikeforce and the WEC (okay, a Zuffa property, but still) teaming up to blow our minds without charging us fifty bucks for a pay-per-view.  Now we begin the difficult task of using the Potato Index’s completely arbitrary numerical rankings system to see who’s up and who’s down after the eventful weekend.

Mike Brown +209
He beat Faber fair and square, no flukes needed, and he also proved he can last through five tough rounds.  Instead of making broken hand-related excuses for Faber, let’s finally all give Brown the unqualified props he clearly deserves.

Urijah Faber -37
We can play the ‘what if?’ game with his broken hand all we want, but that’s the fight game.  That he still fought well and fought hard afterwards, even in a losing effort, deserves to be mentioned.  But he’s not the world’s best featherweight as long as Brownie is around, and that deserves mentioning too.