(Arianny Celeste photo of the month, via Nuts. Click for full-sized version.)

Some must-read content from our bros around the Internet…

- The Hurt Business: Little Victories, Tender Mercies (MMAFighting)

- Thiago Silva: I’m Going to Kill or Die Against Alexander Gustafsson (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- Bittersweet Victory: Bellator Heavyweight Eric Prindle Discusses Thiago Santos and Upcoming Title Fight With Cole Konrad (MMAMania)

- We Seriously Want You to Watch Our Weigh-in Video for ONE FC: War of the Lions (MiddleEasy)

- Mighty Mouse Close to 2-to-1 Favored Status Over Ian McCall in Upcoming Rematch (FightOpinion)

- UFC Will Hold First Event in China in 2012 (MMAWeekly)

- Court McGee vs. Nick Ring Rematch Targeted for UFC 149 in Calgary (MMAJunkie)

- The Neighborhood Watch Reference Chart (HolyTaco)

- The 7 Worst Talk Show Hosts Of Our Generation (ScreenJunkies)

- Is Survival Horror Dead or Just Sleeping? (Gamefront)

- The 10 Funniest Comedy Songs (MadeMan)

- Charles Barkley Rocks A Dress For Weight Watchers (TerezOwens)

- VIDEO: Ron Burgundy’s Anchorman 2 Announcement (TurdFergusonBlog)

- How Many Calories Should You Eat To Lose Weight? (BuiltLean)

- What to Expect at This Weekend’s WrestleMania XXVIII (MensFitness)

(Etim and Lauzon, seen here demonstrating the Tomax and Xamot effect.) 

Two lightweights will be looking to bounce back from horrific, nightmare-inducing losses and vie for the love of their malnourished alien overlord when Joe Lauzon takes on Terry Etim at UFC on Fox 4, which goes down on August 4th from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California.

The last time we saw Etim in action, he fell victim to, and in fact helped spawn the idea behind, the “Falling Tree” knockout, when he was leveled via a spinning heel-kick compliments of Edson Barboza at UFC 142. The fight was only Etim’s second in as many years, as he spent most of the 2010-2011 season nursing a rib injury that forced him out of a match with, you guessed it, Joe Lauzon, at UFC 118. He was replaced by Gabe Rudiger for that event, and we all know how that ended up. Etim finally made his return at UFC 138 in England, where he submitted Edward Faaloloto with a guillotine in just 16 seconds. The victory earned Etim his fourth “Submission of the Night” award in his ten fight career under the Zuffa banner.

Lauzon is also coming off a devastating head kick KO loss– his coming against top lightweight contender Anthony Pettis in their main card scrap at UFC 144. Prior to that, Lauzon had put together a two fight win streak over Kurt Warburton (via kimura) at UFC Live: Kongo vs. Barry and Melvin Guillard (via rear-naked choke) at UFC 136. Lauzon has never lost two in a row in his UFC career, and Etim hasn’t since dropping back-to-back contests to Gleison Tibau and Rich Clementi at UFC 75 and 84, respectively.

I feel compelled to reiterate that the similarities between these two is nothing short of suspect. Both are coming off head kick knockout losses, both are SOTN savants, and both look like the offspring of Christopher Walken and a hairless Aye-Aye. Could it be that these two were separated at birth, destined to fight for the right to rule all of mankind somewhere down the road? Or are these mere coincidences? I suppose it all really depends on which type of person you are.

While you take a moment to reconsider everything your futile religion taught you to believe, join us after the jump for more fight booking news…

(“We may even have Justin Bieber at the show as a special guest.”)

Just a friendly reminder that the UFC is holding an impromptu press conference today in Calgary, Alberta to announce its next Canadian show and that we’ll have the live stream starting at 2:00 p.m. ET. On hand for the open event will be UFC president Dana White, director of Canadian operations Tom Wright and Alberta-based fighters Mitch Clarke, Jason MacDonald and Nick Ring.

It’s expected that the main event for the July 21 show, which will be announced as UFC 149, will be a featherweight championship bout between 145-pound kingpin Jose Aldo (21-1) and former TKO, Shooto and Sengoku champ Hatsu Hioki (26-4-2), however an announcement will likely not happen at today’s presser.

In related news, a Canadian senator introduced a bill into Parliament yesterday that would see MMA legalized nationwide. Section 83 of the Canadian Criminal Code as it currently stands deems prizefighting illegal, which is why some provinces and territories have been reluctant to allow events in their jurisdiction in spite of the fact that others have amended the rules due to different interpretations of the archaic law.

Check out the UFC web player after the jump.

Those of you who caught the middleweight match-up between Tim “The Barbarian” Boetsch and Nick “The Promise” Ring on the UFC 135 Live Prelims last Saturday were likely transfixed by the gorgeous judo throw Boetsch pulled off in the third round known as the Harai-Goshi, or Sweeping Hip Throw.

The Harai-Goshi is one of the forty fundamental throws created by the founder of Judo, Kano Jigoro. The above video, though not demonstrated in English, most properly demonstrates the necessity of foot placement in both the initial attack and sweep stages of the throw. From there, the throw trades in power for momentum, a basic principle of Judo.

Well, we can’t say we didn’t see this one coming, but it doesn’t make it any more less idiotic. According to Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk, although it’s been 15 years since he penned his acclaimed best seller, there is apparently a Broadway adaptation of “Fight Club” is in the works.

The play, which will likely be based heavily on David Fincher’s 1999 film adaptation that starred Brad Pitt, Edward Norton and Helena Bonham Carter, will join Spiderman and Batman as the new wave of live action theatre that appeals to men who aren’t gay or who are simply fans of stupid concepts.

Plahniuk told Shortlist during a recent interview that Fight Club on Broadway will likely happen and that he’s all for the idea, although it’s probably not so much the idea he likes since it’s ridiculous, as it is the barrels of cash he’ll be paid for licensing out his most successful property.

In: “I WANT MY BELT BACK!” Out: “There’s gone be some black on black crime.” VidProps: UFC/YouTube

Check this out: official UFC propaganda would have us believe that Rampage Jackson is actually out there somewhere working. They even have the nerve to pause on a calendar square labeled “JIU JITSU”, when we all know damn well that ‘Page would pull guard right after he lets someone hold an umbrella for him.

On the other hand, we’re pretty sure we’ve found the guy shooting footage of Jackson and passing it on to Jones.

Bones v Rampage goes down in just 22 days, and there’s plenty of action to keep you occupied until then.

The full UFC 135 card is after the jump.

(Back when Ken was making more than GSP…)

The TUF 11 Finale went down 1 year ago.

Why it matters:

Five of the fighters from the show are still active in the UFC and four are undefeated in the Octagon.

TUF winner Court McGee, who defeated Kris McCray in the finale by rear naked choke also beat Ryan Jensen by arm triangle at UFC 121 in October. He’s set to face Don Yi Yang at UFN “Battle at the Bayou” in September.

Kyle Noke, who was beaten by teammate McCray by unanimous decision in the quarterfinals of the show, defeated Josh Bryant by TKO at the finale and rattled off two rear naked choke submission wins against Rob Kimmons at UFC 122 in November and TUF 11 cast mate Chris Camozzi at UFC 127 at home in Australia in February. He’ll face Tom Lawlor next at UFC Live: Hardy vs. Lytle in August.

Brad Tavares, who lost to McGee in the semi-finals by rear naked choke is undefeated in official competition as well as 2-0 in the Octagon.He defeated TUF 11 quarterfinal opponent Seth Baczynski at the finale by unanimous decision and Phil Baroni by knockout at UFC 125 in January.

(Should make for some interesting match-ups if you’re an MMA fan. Or if you’re a CP commenter, they’ll likely just be fodder for ginger and gay jokes.)

The UFC announced a pair of upcoming bouts Monday between featuring two TUF alumnus and a pair of apt opponents.

The Ultimate Fighter 12 contestant Cody McKenzie (12-1) and IFL and WEC Bart Palaszewski (35-14) will square off UFC 130 May 28 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas.

After picking up his first win in the Octagon at the TUF 12 finale over Aaron Wilkinson via his patented “Mackenzietine” choke, the 23-year-old Cordova, Alaska native lost the first bout of his 13-fight MMA career one month later to Yves Edwards by rear-naked choke at UFC: Fight For The Troops 2.

The bout will be Palaszewski’s first in the UFC having fought seven times for the WEC compiling a 4-3 record while fighting for the now defunct Zuffa-owned promotion. After racking up three wins in a row in the WEC, Palaszewski dropped his final fight for the organization, by razor-close split decision to Kamal Shalorus at WEC 53 in December.

Another bout that was revealed today was a UFC 131 middleweight tilt between undefeated TUF 11 contestant Nick Ring (11-0) and UFC newcomer James Head (7-1) set for the Rogers Arena in Vancouver, BC.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/TopMMANews)

Call Nick Ring whatever you want; just don’t call him a loser when he won a fight.

In an interview conducted with the UFC middleweight this weekend, TopMMANews.com reporter Dean Panas asked Ring about his UFC 127 fight, insinuating that the unanimous decision victory over Riki Fukuda was an unjust one.

Ring didn’t take to kindly to the theory that he didn’t deserve to beat fellow UFC newcomer, Fukuda.

(Ebersole vs. Lombard, round one. Find round two here, round three here, etc., etc. Vid: YouTube/MMAAustralia)

There aren’t a ton of new faces on this Saturday’s UFC 127 card, but the three newcomers lucky enough to recently sign their lives away to Zuffa, LLC. all seem capable of making notable first impressions. Find out more about this trio of veterans after the jump and let us know how you think they’ll do with your own comments …

("The Promise" and "Killer Bee" will clash down under.)

CagePotato.com has learned from a source close to the fight that a middleweight bout between The Ultimate Fighter 11 standout Nick Ring (10-0) and Kazuo Misaki’s Grabaka teammate, Riki Fukuda (17-4) has been signed for UFC 127 February 27 in Sydney, Australia.

The fight will be the first for Ring since the undefeated Canadian notched a majority decision win over eventual TUF 11 winner Court McGee while filming the show in January. After the bout, Ring, who had been competing with a lingering knee injury, was forced to pull out of the competition due to a torn ACL which would require surgery. The favorite to win the competition, the 30-year-old has been rehabbing the joint since having it surgically repaired in April and has been training in Montreal at Tristar Gym with fellow UFC fighters, welterweight champion Georges St-Pierre and longtime training partner Rory MacDonald.

Fukuda, who, like Ring,  will also be making his Octagon debut at the event down under, is the DEEP middleweight champion and has not lost since 2008. An EliteXC and DREAM veteran, his most notable victory is a unanimous decision he won over Murilo "Ninja" Rua at DREAM 8 in 2009. The 29-year-old native of Tokyo who has only been finished once in his career surprised many when he took veteran Joe Doerksen to a decision in his first bout in 2004.

(Make sure your speakers are turned all the way up before you hit play. Props: gonzagabjj)

As we occasionally do when it’s Friday and we’re bored — and my God are we bored — it’s time to give away some CagePotato t-shirts to the commenters who made us laugh this week. But first, a classic comment from last month that we never got around to honoring:

El Famous Burrito on "Behold Tim Sylvia’s New Belt He Will be Wearing Everywhere He Goes": Thousands of years from now, the discovery of a mayonnaise-cured vinyl belt around a giant human skeleton is going to turn ape society upside down.

And now, this week’s big winners…

danomite on "Can Anybody Explain What the F*ck Gabriel Gonzaga Is Talking About?": I love the "car have no key’ video. He should do a whole series where he’s just fascinated by technology.
This lamp…it go on when…walk by. I….no touch…buttons. I don’t have to turn on….clap twice…light go on….clap twice more time….light go off.

RWilsonR on "Hot Potato: Sarah McDowd": It’s odd, though… when I look at her, I wonder what her original nose looked like, but I have no interest in what her original breasts looked like.

smiledriver on "Video: Nick Ring – Oh No You Didn’t!": I would have sex with Nick Ring just to keep this joke going.

If your name has been called, please send your name, address, and t-shirt size to contest@cagepotato.com. Enjoy the weekend, Potato Nation.

(Video courtesy YouTube/oKAINo)

Nick Ring will likely never get away from the insinuations that he is gay (not that there is anything wrong with that), even though he  has a girlfriend and he and several of his teammates on the show have stated on numerous occasions that he put on the somewhat feminine persona while he was on The Ultimate Fighter to screw with homophobic superheel, Jamie Yager.

In Ring’s defense, he’s taking the rumors like a champ (no homo) and rolling with the punches.

Here’s what he said about the act on his Heavy.com recap of the episode that started the snowball rolling:

"So here I am, it’s late and I am now happy and feeling good about my massage. My lower back is feeling good and it is definitely thanking me and I go to the washroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed and McCray and Yager decide it is time for them gang up on me and "have a talk".

From their bedroom, McCray loudly asks me a loaded question that goes a little bit like "Hey Ring, Why would you get a massage from a dude at 3 AM?" I knew exactly where he was trying to go with this one so I thought fuck it – I’ll play, so I answered "because I’m a big queer".

They started laughing hard in disbelief at my remark, and I walked into their room and leaned my shoulder up against the doorway while I flossed my teeth.
I knew that my reply would likely take most of the wind out of their sails but being the couple of Neanderthals they are, they relented by saying that I’m standing gay and tried telling me that I need to change my posture blah blah blah. I just thought it was funny so just poured it on more until they dropped it…

(Photo courtesy of Rich’s Facebook page.)

In the latest installment of his TUF 11 guest-blog for CagePotato.com, Team Liddell’s Rich Attonito recaps the fights from last night’s episode, reveals Nick Ring’s house nickname, gives his thoughts on Court McGee, and reminds everyone how awful it is to be stuck in the TUF house when you’re out of the competition.

The Wild Card fight is under way and the match-up is Uscola-McCray. Right before their fight Kaycey got the good news that his son was born. Everybody knew how much Kaycey was anticipating the birth of his child since we got into the house. Now the moment had finally arrived, but there wasn’t much time for reflection because his fight with The Savage was looming. It was the first time we were gonna see two guys on the same team go at it and everyone was anticipating how it would play out. I personally felt like Kaycey would take this one. But I wondered if the birth of Kaycey’s child was going to be a distraction for him going in.

In the end, McCray walked away with the victory by submission early in round two. Kaycey hurt Kris’s knee early with some well-timed leg stomps, but he got overzealous and charged in, allowing Kris to lock him up and recover from the pain he was in. McCray’s got a pretty sick body lock and he put it on display in this fight, as he eventually used it to ground Kaycey and finish him off.

(Look on the bright side, Joe — you weren’t going to win that fight anyway.)

Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter blessed us with two fights — the Wild Card match between previously eliminated Team Ortiz members Kyacey Uscola and Kris McCray, and the first quarterfinal match, which basically turned out to be a Wild Card match in itself. Allow us to explain…

Kyacey’s son, Charles Champ Uscola, is born. Kyacey is elated, and fired up to capitalize on his second chance after losing by DQ to Rich Attonito. McCray previously lost a decision to Josh Bryant, but showed a lot of heart in the process. Kris McCray considers himself the underdog in this fight. He’s less experienced, and Kyacey has the better wrestling pedigree. Tito will be watching from the bleachers, and promises not to say anything during the fight.

WILD CARD MATCH
Round 1: McCray starts out with a leg kick and a couple jabs, then a body kick. Uscola responds with a leg kick, and two inside kicks to McCray’s knee that make him wince. Uscola charges in, but McCray clinches and eventually scores the takedown. Uscola quickly gets up, but McCray is on him against the fence. Uscola fires a knee in the clinch. McCray works some knees to Uscola’s legs. One of them nails Uscola in the nuts and the ref warns McCray and separates them. They trade kicks. Uscola hip-tosses McCray, lands a knee to the body, and they trade punches when McCray fights his way up. McCray picks up and slams Uscola, who turtles on his knees. McCray works to take Uscola’s back, and throws down a couple of short elbows from the top. He tries to set up a rear-naked choke as the round ends.

(Richie Two Times poses with Ol’ Glue-Head. Photo courtesy of the Rich Attonito Fan Page on Facebook.)

In the latest installment of his TUF 11 guest-blog, Team Liddell’s Rich Attonito tells you everything you need to know about hot tubs, cold pools, Chuck’s pre-dodgeball jitters, and the baffling result of last night’s fight. Enjoy.

With Team Liddell up 4-1 on Team Ortiz, we start to see some doubt arising from Tito’s squad. Kyacey felt like Kris may have been over-trained leading up to his fight. McCray seemed to gas-out in the second and third rounds, which raised some concern. Kris’s wind may have failed him, but his toughness carried him through. I haven’t seen a guy take punches like that since Vinny the Chin, the Long Island legend from YouTube.

I remember over-training being a concern in my mind going into the show. If you run your body down too much and don’t give it enough recovery time, you’ll begin to physically break down and become more susceptible to injury. I knew that both coaches would push their teams hard, which is perfectly fine because that’s what we are there for. But the lack of time in between training sessions to rest and the intensity that had to be continuously maintained, day in and day out, was definitely a cause of concern for many people. Trusting the coaches and their methodology of training and experience was critical in this setting.

To combat the effects of hard training and soreness, at night when the practices were finished for the day, everyone would jump into the pool at the house. The pool was pretty much as cold as any ice bath you could take. It was so cold it would burn when you got in. It was tougher for some guys then for others. McCray and Tavares would swim around no problem like they were in an eighty degree pool at a country club. I remember one time Kris was doing the backstroke across the pool and spitting water out of his mouth. Brad would often dive off of the hot tub and into the pool doing can-openers, suicides, and cannonballs. It wouldn’t take long before the rest of the guys starting joining in.

Don’t know about you guys, but I’m still reeling from the horrible decision on last night’s episode. Seriously, the way the judges scored Nick Ring vs. Court McGee made Garcia vs. Jung look like Brown vs. Board of Education. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning…

Kyacey Uscola is pissed that Coach Tito had Kris McCray doing intense plyometrics in the days leading up to his fight, which might have sapped his energy. McCray doesn’t feel he was overtrained, and his boy Jamie Yager appreciates that he didn’t make any excuses: "I’m proud of you that you went out there and did your dizzle. ‘Nuff said." James Hammortree thinks Tito is just pushing them to their limits, and "some of us haven’t had that before." To Nick Ring, the TUF workouts feel like a vacation compared to what he normally does.

Kyacey’s bad vibes get back to Tito, so he arranges an Airing of Grievances. Tito defends his methods to Kyacey, explaining that he’s training his guys to fight back to back to back, and points out that Kyacey’s cardio has visibly improved since he entered the house. Tito doesn’t doubt himself, despite the score, which is 4-1 in Chuck’s favor. He still feels that the fighter who gets his hand raised at the end of the show will be a Team Punishment member.