Nicknames are like tattoos — badass when you first pick them out, generally embarrassing ten years later. And yet for some reason, they’re often the only things that MMA fighters keep forever, even as they change camps, change fighting styles, and change their hair. And while every fighter sends a message with their choice of nickname, it may not always be the message that they’re trying to send. For example, let’s say your nickname is…

A RHYME

Notable examples: Mike “Quick” Swick, “Bad” Brad Blackburn, Shannon “The Cannon” Ritch, Marvin “Beastman” Eastman
What you think it says: You’re straightforward and to-the-point. You want your nickname to stick in people’s heads.
What it really says: You spent no more than five seconds coming up with that weak bullshit.

A REFERENCE TO YOUR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN

Notable examples: Kamal “Prince of Persia” Shalorus, Efrain “Hecho en Mexico” Escudero, Sako “The Armenian Psycho” Chivitchian, “The Korean Zombie” Chan Sung Jung
What you think it says: You’re proud of your heritage and want to represent the fighting spirit of your people.
What it really says: You will be met with boos and “U.S.A.!” chants every time you fight, even though you’ve lived in Glendale your entire life.

(Jenna, you shouldn’t have. You really, really shouldn’t have.)

Holy crap! CagePotato.com turns one year old today, y’all! Many thanks to those of you who have stuck with us since the beginning — or the close-to-beginning, at least — and helped build this little site into what I believe is the most entertaining and energetic MMA community on the Internet. Lots of bigger and badder things to come, so stay tuned and tell your friends. To honor this day, let’s take a trip in the way-back machine, and revisit 25 of CagePotato’s all-time greatest moments. Enjoy…
(BG)

Sylvia’s ego, Franklin’s face get battered at UFC 77 (First-ever post on CagePotato)

The Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever

Urijah Faber: Hard Out Here for a Pimp (CP’s first original interview)

Gone, Baby, Gone: Hard Luck and Fast Money at the IFl World Grand Prix

The Top 10 Gracies of All Time

Kimbo Slice Loves CagePotato!

Blogger Power! UFC Fight Night 13 Stretched to Three Hours (possibly my favorite photo caption, though this one‘s pretty dear to me as well)

“Tappin’ Out’s for *Whores*”: Matt Serra at the 7/11

The Eight Most Insane Victory Celebrations of All Time

The 10 Most Despicable People in MMA

The 10 Hottest Ring Girls in MMA

Nogueira, Mir to Coach Next Season of TUF (Fowlkes scoops the Internet by a full month)

Dear Guy Attending This Live MMA Event: An Open Letter

So, here’s something interesting I noticed while looking up fight records on Sherdog today:

Ross “The Gladiator” Pointon: 5-10-0

Greg “The Gladiator” Wikan: 11-13-0

Orlando “The Gladiator” Weit: 1-3-0

Gabriel “Gladiator” Santos: 4-5-0

You hear that, people? The ghost of Maximus — father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife — does not want you to cheapen his memory by using “Gladiator” as your nickname. If you do, he will curse you with a losing record. And he will have his vengeance, in this life or the next.

Please spread awareness.

#10 (tie): Chris “The Polish Hammer” Horodecki & Peter “The Dutch Lumberjack” Aerts

Though it has a long, proud history, the nationality + noun combination is always a risky move when crafting a nickname. If it’s “The Polish ____” it can end up sounding like the setup to a joke. (i.e., “You hear the one about the Polish Hammer? They use it to pound fingernails.” Or something like that, but much funnier.) With any other nationality, like “The Dutch ____,” it can end up sounding like a deviant sex act. Marcus “The Irish Hand Grenade” Davis gets a pass because hand grenades are badass.