It doesn’t really matter all that much, because Wanderlei Silva has spent the past three years in exile from the sport (and, oh yeah, retired from it over 2 years ago), but the former Pride and UFC star’s long legal battle with the Nevada State Athletic Commission has finally come to an end. His sentence? THREE MORE YEARS OF IRRELEVANCY.
Today, Potato Nation, vindication is spelled S-T-O-C-K-T-O-N M-O-T-H-A-F-U-C-K-A-S.
Well, if not “vindication,” than at least something close to it. That’s because earlier today, Nick Diaz and the Nevada State Athletic Commission were able to reach a settlement regarding the absolutely bogus suspension he received after testing positive for marijuana metabolites back at UFC 183.
The man is clearly a danger to himself and anyone around him, but mainly to anyone around him, is what we’re saying.
Enter the Nevada State Athletic Commission, a group of supposed authorities on the sport who have proved their incompetence at nearly every possible venue. Whether they are struggling to figure out how a conference call line works to hilarious effect or spending upwards of two hours questioning a fighter about Thai black market sex juice, NSAC has proved time and time again that they will never recover from the departure of Keith Kizer.
Having most recently incurred the wrath of MMA fans worldwide for their decision to suspend Nick Diaz for an unprecedented five years, few of us knew how the NSAC would treat a repeat offender of Palhares’ nature during today’s hearing (which was sadly not available on Fight Pass), especially once it was revealed that he had opted not to have a lawyer represent him. The answer, as it turns out, is typical of what you’d expect from the Nevada State Athletic Commission.
The point is, the G.O.A.T’s long-awaited NSAC hearing regarding his positive tests for Drostanolone (among other substances) both before and after UFC 183 took place yesterday, and the only way to describe it would be “the UFC 162 of NSAC hearings.” Silva showed up, clowned around, and took a huge blow to his reputation (not to mention his wallet) by the time all was said and done.
All the details and highlights from this circus are after the jump.
It’s been awhile since Wanderlei Silva gave us a career update via a dimly-lit video recorded in a rape dungeon, and while many fans have all but completely forgotten about his existence in that time, the former PRIDE and UFC star has kept busy attempting to valiantly restore some credibility to his name. And today, it appears he may have actually made a little headway in that quest.
Vitor Belfort is getting frustrated, y’all, and it’s easy to see why. “The Phenom’s” middleweight title shot against Chris Weidman has been delayed a half dozen times already, and was most recently pushed back to May after the champ once again went down with an injury. With each delay, the 37-year old finds himself drawing closer and closer to TRT-withdrawal-induced mortality, and to top it all off, he’s being unfairly drug-tested up the whazoo.
What’s that, you’ve taken some issue with our use of the term “unfairly”? Well take it up with Belfort, who despite passing his most recent random test, is still inexplicably being tested at every turn leading up to his UFC 187 title fight with Weidman. As he told the Brazilian media (as translated by MMAFighting):
In 2013, I was the only one (tested randomly). I was tested seven times for my fight with Weidman. Seven times. Did they test my opponent seven times?
(We hear that if you play that song backwards on loop, it lines up perfectly with the Wizard of Oz, maaaaaaan.)
Disclaimer: Guys, I am really digging the articles you’ve been sending in, but especially these Onion-style pieces ala “Ultimate Roided Fucking Killers League.” Here is another such article that’s just as hilarious. — Jared
By CP Reader Scott Johnson
Off the heels of the major announcement made by the UFC last Wednesday, the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) has decided to follow suit with a groundbreaking decision of their own. Beginning June 30th, NSAC will begin implementing a new drug testing policy upon itself in the hopes that it will curb the erratic, irrational behavior that has long plagued its decision making process. (See: everything from the past month)
The new policy will see representatives of the NSAC, which includes referees, judges and commission members, be subject to year round random drug tests as well as mandatory testing prior to any events or hearings. These new changes are expected to help to eradicate the poor decisions that have adversely affected all aspects of MMA.
“After reviewing the hearing that took place on February 17th of 2015, it was clear that changes needed to be made to ensure that the integrity and good name of the Nevada State Athletic Commission would remain intact,” said Francisco Aguilar without a hint of irony or self-awareness in his voice.
If you didn’t happen to catch last night’s NSAC hearing because you don’t even work part-time for an MMA blog and have a life, then boy did you miss out (not really). Set to a soothing soundtrack of nearby construction work, the 3-hour meeting was as much of a non-factor as it possibly could have been. At one point, Pat Lundvall’s phone went off and it was the Benny Hill theme song. Seriously. It happened. Check out the “blooper reel” (a blooper reel!) above for another highlight.
And the NSAC themselves, my God (*kisses fingers*). In a meeting that was supposed to determine the fighting futures of Anderson Silva and Nick Diaz, the chairmen and women of the most frustratingly incompetent organization outside of a Comcast call center spent over an hour discussing the idea of placing a computer chip in MMA gloves in order to more accurately score fights. They spent another hour arguing about whether or not judges should be scoring fights with iPads, because penciling in a number between 8 and 10 is just getting too damn confusing. Did I mention the cosmic irony of the Benny Hill theme song?
But in the few moments when NSAC wasn’t struggling to take a piss without dribbling on their shoes, they did actually manage to reveal some information regarding Anderson Silva’s post-fight drug test. No spoilers, but it will breaka you heart.