Hmm…do we count Tim Sylvia’s weight as a high or a low?

If you didn’t get to catch One FC’s fifth event yesterday, you more than likely are under the impression that it was an event crushed by its completely preposterous stance on soccer kicks. While the soccer kick fiasco brought the sort-of anticipated fourth bout between Tim Sylvia and Andrei Arlovski to new heights of freak show ridiculousness, the show gave fans plenty of reasons to cheer and a few things to jeer as well. With videos beginning to surface from yesterday’s bouts, and no other televised MMA to look forward to tonight, let’s take some time to re-watch some of the better fights.

Unfortunately, the best fight from yesterday’s card – a lightweight slugfest between Eduard Folayang and Felipe Enomoto – isn’t available as of now. We’ll keep you posted if a video surfaces, but if one doesn’t, you’ll only have to wait until October 6 to see Folayang battle Zorobabel Moreira for the promotion’s lightweight title. Videos from the rest of the card available after the jump.

(Hey, this just means One FC will rake in big bucks for “Sylvia vs. Arlovski 5: Please, God, Make It Stop”)

By Elias Cepeda

It’s a good thing the MMA world was so excited to see the fourth meeting of Tim Sylvia and Andrei Arlovski at One FC 5: Pride of a Nation today in the Philippines, because now it might just get a fifth. The two former UFC champions were set to clash Friday near the top of the Singapore-based organization’s card, and they did, but with an unsatisfying result for fighters and fans alike, thanks to One FC’s convoluted and dangerous rules regarding kicks to the head of downed opponents.

They are legal. Sort of.

Phil Baroni won his bout earlier in the evening after effectively using kicks to the head of his opponent Rodrigo Ribeiro. However, when Arlovski landed glancing kicks to the head of Sylvia after dropping him to the mat on all fours with a punch combination, the referee called the blows illegal and gave Sylvia time to recover. When Sylvia could not, the fight was ruled a no contest. You see, One FC allows kicks to the head of a downed opponent only after a fighter is given express, in-the-moment permission by the referee. What could possibly go wrong?

(Check out GIFs of the Baroni and Arlovski finishes — as well as full results from One FC 5 — at the bottom of this post.)

Besides giving referees a strange discretion that would seem to do nothing but open up new and exciting opportunities for oversight, slip ups, and corruption, such a rule necessarily stops the action in fights and gives fighters something else to think about other than the only two things they should be — attacking their opponent and defending themselves.

At least Tim Sylvia still has a remotely athletic physique from the chins up.

When I woke up this morning, Lafayette was beginning to take on water, a two hundred pound athlete was destroying fools in sumo wrestling, and Tim Sylvia vs. Andrei Arlovski was the most relevant fight taking place this weekend. Wait…this guy? And this guy? The most relevant fight of the weekend?! Naturally, the first thing I did was check my calendar to make sure I didn’t somehow travel back in time to 2005- as most of you did after reading that last sentence, I’m sure. Upon realizing that yes, it is in fact 2012, I said “Fuck it,” ate a gallon of ice cream for breakfast, and went back to sleep. If the rest of the universe just doesn’t care anymore, then neither do I.

Since it’s all we have to look forward to this weekend, we might as well at least try to get excited about the relatively meaningless nostalgia fight with this video of Andrei Arlovski’s open workout for the local Philippine press. Arlovski introduces himself with an enthusiastic “How’s taste my pee pee?” as he does some light drilling with Travis Browne (yes, that Travis Browne). After some basic drills, Andrei Arlovski answers some questions for the local media. The Pitbull, bless his heart, avoids an uncomfortable rape reference by saying he’s going to “play proctologist” and stick his hand up Tim Sylvia’s ass during the fight – not in a sexual way, but in an “I am beating the shit out of you and want to make this as humiliating as possible” way. He then tells the media that he plans on knocking out Tim Sylvia during the fight, a strategy we’ve seen backfire on him before. Before the clip ends, he brings things up to 2007 by shouting “THIS IS SPARTA!” while everyone laughs.
Video is after the jump.

(* Sylvia’s physique subject to change.)

Well, it had to happen sooner or later. News broke this morning that heavyweight arch-rivals Andrei Arlovski and Tim Sylvia — who previously faced each other in three UFC title fights in 2005-2006, with Sylvia winning the last two — will fight for the fourth time at ONE FC: Pride of a Nation, August 31st in Manila. Arlovski was originally slated to fight Australian bruiser Soa “The Hulk” Palelei at the event, but as Palelei tweeted to us earlier today, ONE FC wouldn’t let him fight unless he signed a five-fight contract. And as everybody knows, a Hulk needs his freedom.

Though both the Pitbull and the Maine-iac endured their share of setbacks during their post-UFC careers, both men are currently riding win streaks. Arlovski scored back-to-back knockouts of Ray Lopez and Travis Fulton while competing in ProElite last year, while Sylvia has won his last three bouts, most recently a 12-second TKO of Randy Smith. And while you might see this match as a relatively meaningless nostalgia fight, for Arlovski it’s still very, very real. As he said earlier this year:

“I would love to fight pee-pee taste…I beat him once and he beat me twice and it’s personal. He’s the only person in the word I really want to fight; really, really fight, it’d be a nasty fight. I don’t want to talk about what would happen in the fight, he’s a piece of shit and I’d just try to kick his blah blah blah.”

Will Arlovski even the score? Will Timmy take another step toward the UFC comeback that continues to elude him? Let us know what you think in the comments section, and re-watch their first two fights after the jump…

“The YAMMA Masters Division is still a real weight class, right?”

It’s déjà vu all over again.

Before UFC 134 marked the promotion’s highly anticipated return to Brazil, Royce Gracie trolled the MMA community pretty hard by claiming that he not only wanted to fight on the card, but also that he had been negotiating with the UFC in order to make this happen. Needless to say, Royce wasn’t successful.

With the UFC 153 fight card beginning to fill out for the promotion’s return to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, it now appears that one time UFC competitor Renzo Gracie wants in on the action. But, you know, only if it’s cool with everyone. As MMAWeekly is reporting:

“That’s a possibility. In my life I learned one thing, impossible is nothing,” Gracie stated about possibly competing at UFC 153.

“I love the crowd there. I love the intensity that surrounds the whole arena when you’re in Brazil fighting and Brazil is cheering. It’s a different ball game.”