Totally Looks Like:  Sean Kingston

By now, you’ve probably heard the big news of the day:  Anthony “Hey Yo, Is That My Tummy Rumblin’?” Johnson missed weight today in historic fashion, tipping the scales at 197 pounds.  According to some research that I absolutely did not just do, twelve pounds is the most that anyone has ever blown weight anywhere ever, and you can feel free to correct me in the comments.  Vitor Belfort has agreed to fight a catchweight at 197, but has asked that Johnson weigh-in again tomorrow at no more than 205.

Now, maybe I’m not shocked by this — but damn brotato, how do you miss — how do you go UP a weight class because you have a nightmare cut at 170 and the boss has said you belong at 185, then proceed to bulk up like you got a call from Vince McMahon?  

Serious question: is Anthony Johnson dyslexic with numbers or something?  Just checking.

Two dudes known for throwing bombs, and the only guy trying to look tough is the promoter in the background. (Pic: @danawhite)

Tomorrow night Dan Hardy could be fighting for his spot in the UFC, but he came up just a little short in his battle with the scales. Ditching the shorts brought him within a half pound of the 171lb Welterweight limit, but additional time will be needed to shed the excess weight. A quick rinse should take at least a few ounces of mousse out of his mohawk. (Update- the rinse worked! Hardy made weight).

Ben Henderson was the only other fighter to make use of the towel, though he made weight without the need for additional time. The only real heat from the event surfaced when Cole Miller and T.J. O’brien got to jawing during their tense staredown. Based solely on the weigh-ins, I’m going to make a bold prediction for the Jason Reinhardt-Edwin Figueroa bout: Reinhardt will piss hot for crystal meth.

Gifs of those two staredowns and full weigh-in results are after the jump.

…and by “wacky” we mean “morbidly obese.” Pics of DEEP’s Megaton Grand Prix from gbring.com via Fightlinker.

(Even CondomDepot wouldn’t sponsor these guys.)

(Let me guess…former Korean baseball player?)

(As in, “I need one to find my dick.”)

(Bitch-titty keylock!)

(“Holy fuck are you ugly.”)

(In fairness, he was actually aiming for the guy’s fupa.)

(“DEEP: A Judgment-Free Zone.”)