(Mike Kogan’s profile pic courtesy of FindABearTonight.xxx)

At this point, we all know that Nate Diaz has been suspended and fined for calling Bryan Caraway a “Fag” through his twitter account. Other than deleting and re-wording his original tweet, Diaz has been silent on the matter since originally criticizing Caraway for accepting the Submission of the Night bonus cash that was originally designated for Pat Healy until “Bam Bam” tested positive for marijuana metabolites after choking out Jim Miller at UFC 159.

Diaz’s new manager Mike Kogan, however, just can’t seem to shut up about it all — and he’s making his client look even worse in the process.

Immediately following Diaz’s tweet, Kogan issued a ridiculous justification to MMA Junkie that showcased a stunning lack of self-awareness.

“Guess what? The word faggot, at least in Northern California, and where Nate is from, means bitch,” Kogan said. “It means you’re a little punk. It has nothing to do with homosexuals at all. So when Nate made the comment that he made, he didn’t make it in reference to homosexuals or calling Caraway a homosexual. He just said it was a bitch move.”

Separating the word “faggot” from its many historical applications for insulting gay people, as Kogan tried to do, is a stretch. But let’s say that it was possible to separate them. We’d still be left with Diaz publicly calling someone a “bitch” — another word commonly used to insinuate homosexuality, and far more often used to insult women — and Kogan defending the usage of that word just as strongly.

Even if we recognize the obvious fact that Diaz’s tweet was insensitive, few people would crucify him simply for using those slurs in a moment of frustration. All we’re asking for is a little reflection, and some recognition of the fact that, though you may not be a bad dude deep down, that was an insensitive thing to say and a sincere apology is warranted. Or, again, to at least shut up about it all.

Kogan seems far too dense to do that. The manager was recently on MMA Fighting’s MMA Hour and went out of his way to insist that both he and Diaz are offering no apologies.

(Somewhere in Indiana, Miguel Torres is breathing a sigh of relief.) 

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the single dumbest tweet of 2013. The top one.

385 retweets. 184 favorites. And counting.

Feel free to start speculating how much Diaz gets fined for this, or what his inevitable apology to the LGBT community will sound like, in the comments section.

-J. Jones

(A stern anti-marijuana crusader hand-in-hand with the marijuana king of Oakland? Looks like Martin Scorsese just found his next screenplay. Photo via Esther Lin/MMA Fighting)

There’s really not much more that can be said about Pat Healy’s — or really, any other fighter’s — positive test for marijuana and subsequent suspension/fines. As insane as it is that we live in a world where marijuana usage often carries a higher penalty for MMA fighters than that of steroids, it’s also a rule that every fighter understands the moment they become an employee of the UFC. Simply put, if you’re not smart enough to understand exactly how long marijuana metabolites stay in your system prior to a fight, you pretty much deserve what’s coming to you. It’s the reason I picked a line of work that literally allows me to blow bong hits at my computer screen while writing this. Not that I am — as with alcohol, I don’t believe in smoking before noon. On weekdays.

That’s not to say that we relish whenever a fighter is busted for marijuana, in fact it’s usually quite the opposite. In the case of Healy, he had the biggest (and possibly most exciting) win of his career negated and over 100k in bonus money revoked because he liked to kick back with a little Wildwood Weed after a day of getting his ass kicked. It’s a better excuse than most of us have, but don’t expect the man who received his revoked $65,000 “Submission of the Night” bonus, Bryan Caraway, to offer him any sympathy. In an interview with MMAJunkie, Caraway shot from the hip when discussing his feelings for all of us you dirty, pot-smoking degenerates:

I couldn’t be more happy, and it was an insanely pleasant surprise

All I’ve got to say is that’s some expensive weed. I like Healy a lot. I came up through the fighting ranks with him. We used to train together at Team Quest. I love the guy. But I have absolutely zero remorse or guilt.

I hate weed. I cannot stand it. I’ve never tried it. I’ve never smoked a drug in my life. So I have absolutely zero tolerance for people that do it. I don’t care if it’s legal in some places or not. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. Whether it’s legal in real life or not, they tell you to follow the rules. You need to follow the rules.

(Short version: We’re going to pretend this fight never happened, just like we’re going to pretend marijuana is a performance-enhancing drug. / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

The greatest night of Pat Healy‘s career has been retroactively changed to some old bullshit. Following his fantastic rear-naked choke victory over Jim Miller last month at UFC 159 — which earned Healy Fight of the Night and Submission of the Night awards totaling $130,000 — “Bam Bam” failed his drug test, coming up positive for marijuana. As a result, Healy’s win has been changed to a no-contest, he’s been suspended from competition from 90 days, and he’s being forced to return the aforementioned $130k in bonus money and his $5,000 win bonus.

Healy confirmed the news in an official statement:

“I would like to start off by apologizing to the UFC, Jim Miller, the MMA community, it’s fans, my family, teammates and coaches for my positive testing for marijuana after my UFC 159 fight with Jim Miller. I was fully aware of the UFC and State Commission’s drug policies and made poor life choices. I stand behind the UFC and the State Commission’s disciplinary actions. I support efforts to make MMA and sports a clean, safe and fair place to compete…

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

If there’s anything positive for Alan Belcher to take away from his loss to Michael Bisping in the co-main event of last night’s UFC 159, it’s that he was right about Bisping being unable to knock him out. Bisping had plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the fight, yet Belcher was too resilient of an opponent. Unfortunately, that’s right about where the positive notes end. Bisping not only outstruck Belcher by a considerable margin throughout their fight, but also avoided all of Belcher’s takedowns. Simply put, Belcher didn’t have any answers for Bisping’s jab-n-jog offense.

And then there was the eye poke that ended up stopping the fight, awarding Michael Bisping the technical decision victory. It was a disappointing way to end an otherwise decent scrap – especially considering Belcher’s previous troubles with that eye. Fortunately, Belcher has since tweeted that he is doing okay.

Perhaps the strangest thing about the eye poke is that this fight wasn’t the only bout on the card to end in technical decision due to an eye poke. Earlier in the evening, the light heavyweight bout between Ovince St. Preux and Gian Villante also ended when St. Preux inadvertently poked Villante in the eye. St. Preaux walked away with a technical majority decision victory. Kind of makes a case for changing the design of MMA gloves.

Elsewhere on the card…

(Good. Now that Chael knows what it feels like to make contact with Jon Jones, let’s get this execution over with. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

There’s not much to say about Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen at this point, other than the fact that Jones will be tying Tito Ortiz’s record for light-heavyweight title defenses (5) tonight, and Danga has already written Chael’s retirement rap. Luckily, UFC 159 features some legitimate fights as well, from Jim Miller meeting his taller, skinner doppelganger, to Roy Nelson meeting his polar opposite. Plus: Michael Bisping faces off against some retard from Mississippi (his words, not ours!), and Vinny Magalhaes tangles with Phil Davis.

Handling liveblog duties for this evening is Alex Giardini, who will be delivering round-by-round results from the “Jones vs. Sonnen” main card after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know what’s on your mind in the comments section.

(What makes Nandor so angry, you ask? Dirt. He *hates* dirt.) 

Thanks to a terrible yet completely expected slew of injuries, Strikeforce’s going away event has disintegrated from a once competitive night of title fights to a freakshow event on par with an end of the year JMMA card. Former top-contenders Josh Barnett and Pat Healy have been thrown opponents that redefine the phrase “high risk, low reward” and newly-crowned heavyweight champ Daniel Cormier has been booked against some dude with a chance of victory so slim that even he is pissed off by how little of a chance said dude has been given. It’s gotten so bad that the UFC has been forced to loan their middle-of-the-pack middleweights out to the very organization they have been purging, seemingly out of some twisted sense of empathy.

But if Jorge Gurgel’s assertion that the fighters who lose on Saturday will not be headed to the UFC is in fact true, one thing we will surely not witness this weekend is caution. So with that in mind, we threw together a little poll: Which (massive) underdog could most likely score an upset at ‘Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine?’ All the usual suspects are included in the survey that awaits you after the jump, so join us in a little harmless speculation, won’t you?

(I’m going to avoid an obvious nose-joke here. Instead, I’ll just link to this picture of an adorable puppy.)

You know what? Screw what Tim Kennedy said about Strikeforce’s fighters being a bunch of little vaginas. When Gilbert Melendez and Luke Rockhold withdrew from their scheduled matches at Strikeforce’s final event, they were looking out for their best interests. And if Pat Healy does the same, we’re not going to blame the guy.

Healy, as you might recall, was originally slated to face Melendez in their long-delayed matchup on the January 12th “Marquardt vs. Saffiedine” card, then he was booked to face Jorge Masvidal when Melendez pulled out, then he was booked to face nobody when Masvidal pulled out. [Ed. note: CagePotato would like to clarify that Healy was probably not a Nazi guard or serial killer in a past life, despite suggestions to the contrary. There. Feel better, Chris?]. Now, the former/sort-of lightweight title-contender will be facing undefeated Strikeforce-newcomer Kurt Holobaugh, according to a recent report from MMAWeekly.

A little about Kurt: He’s compiled a perfect 8-0 professional record, competing against regional talent in such regionally-named promotions as Karnival Karnage and Nightmare On The Northshore. He is best known for taking a fight on his wedding day and almost being selected for TUF 15. The fight with Healy will be the biggest opportunity of his career. Unfortunately, the booking officially drags Healy down to the Showtime Extreme portion of the “Marquardt vs. Saffiedine” card.

(Healy Pat: The only title challenger so obscure that Strikeforce couldn’t even remember which of his names came first.) 

We’re going to go out on a limb and assume that Pat Healy was either an SS guard or Ed Gein in his past life, because in recent weeks, something we can only chalk up to karma has been ravaging through his opponents like Roy Nelson through a free buffet. After collecting five straight wins under the Strikeforce banner — a feat made all the more impressive when you consider that Strikeforce has approximately 10 fighters left in their roster — Healy was scheduled to face off against lightweight champion Gilbert Melendez on Strikeforce’s September 29th card. However, when Melendez went down with an injury (go figure), Strikeforce quickly realized that the card was so garbage-ass that they should probably just cancel it altogether. And then cancel their next card for good measure.

Cut to mid-November. A still-injured Melendez declares that he is opting out of Strikeforce’s final event and will instead wait until the UFC absorbs the promotion to resuming training. Wanting to fill out their already injury-plagued final card, Strikeforce books Healy against a former challenger to Melendez’s throne in Jorge Masvidal. Shits were not given. But in an even crueler twist of fate, news has just broke that Masvidal has also gone down with an undisclosed injury and may be forced to withdraw from his January 12th showdown with Healy.

Before we get into the Pat Healy/Jorge Masvidal booking –which we’re sure will rustle your jimmies to no end — we’d like to discuss the actual name Strikeforce has decided upon for its final event and how it more or less serves as a euphemism for Strikeforce as a company over the past couple years. Champions. They named the event Champions. It made sense originally, with nearly every one of their belts being on the line, meaningless as they were. But one groundbreaking signing and a slew of injuries later, and Strikeforce’s final card — their swan song, their dying epilogue, the culmination of years of blood, sweat, and tears — will die a vapid, depleted shell of what it once was. Like Layne Staley.

Two of our title fights have been canceled. Daniel Cormier is fighting a complete wild card and it isn’t even for the title. Is Nate Marquardt defending his newly earned welterweight title against Tarec Saffiedine? Who the hell cares; one of them is going down in the next week and you can mark my words on that. We may like to have our fun at Strikeforce’s expense around here, but they deserved better than this. They gave us Gina Carano in a towel damn it. They gave us this gif of Ronda Rousey. Not to mention all of the less sexual, fight-related stuff they gave us, like Nick Diaz vs. Paul Daley, Scott Smith’s epic comebacks, and the God damned Nashville Brawl.

And now, they’ve been drained dry. Scott Coker had a milkshake, and Dana White had a milkshake and a straw, and Dana drank Coker’s milkshake.

(And to think, if I hadn’t accidentally called Dana “Baldfather” during that interview, I’d be fighting Ben Henderson right about now.) 

When we first heard word that Strikeforce was considering booking a completely unnecessary fourth match between lightweight champ Gilbert Melendez and Josh Thompson, we more or less saw it as a sign that Strikeforce’s lightweight division, not unlike their heavyweight, welterweight, and pretty much every other division, was simply biding its time until the UFC inevitably absorbed it. We were elated to find out shortly thereafter that Thompson was making the whole thing up, possibly under the belief that if the rumor gained enough steam, Scott Coker would sit idly by and let the match happen again and again until Thompson finally emerged victorious.

Fortunately, someone had good enough sense to book Melendez a fight against top contender Pat Healy on September 29th instead, which will make for Melendez’s fifth title defense should he be successful. Although Healy can’t hold a candle to Thompson as far as turning in exciting performances goes (Thompson’s snoozer against K.J. Noons outstanding), it will be nice to see Melendez finally face off against the only other lightweight in the division who stands at least a snowball’s chance in Hell of beating him.

More details after the jump. 

(Come on. I know gay Irish couples who get into less scraps less than these two. Photo via Sherdog.)

Update: Apparently, Josh Thomson was just making shit up. Nice try, buddy. Melendez vs. Healy is possible, but it’s not confirmed as of yet.

In May, Strikeforce lightweight champion Gilbert Melendez took a unanimous decision in his rubber-match against Josh Thomson at “Barnett vs. Cormier,” settling their rivalry once and for all — OR DID IT?? Due to the relative lack of big-name challengers in the Strikeforce lightweight division and the promotion’s total lack of imagination, Strikeforce is actually considering a re-re-rematch between these two. Yaaaaaaay.

According to Thomson on an appearance on MMAJunkie.com Radio on Friday, Strikeforce plans to offer Melendez a fourth fight against him. Said the Punk: “From my understanding, they’re going to offer him the rematch, and if it doesn’t happen, it’s not because of me. I just want everyone to understand that.”

VidProps: RandomCoolStuffHD/YouTube

If you missed the Strikeforce preliminary matchup between Maximo “Little Wanderlei” Blanco and Pat “The Spoiler” Healy, what the hell is wrong with you? Blanco is the highly entertaining prospect who’s been handing out brain damage in Japan for a hot minute, and news of his American debut against Josh Thomson was enough to make my nipples hard. Then Thomson pulled out, and Healy was announced as the replacement, which I was kinda bummed about. Then I cheered up, because I still was getting to watch Maxi go all Beast Mode on a dude. It’s Maxi Time, bitches!

Well, long story short: The Max Murderer lost his North American debut, tapping out to a rear naked choke at the end of the second round.

Not the end of the world, though — Blanco could string a few wins together in the minors, and all would be right with the world, while tearing through Strikeforce’s lesser-known lightweights in highlight-reel fashion. Then I hear news that Little Wanderlei — but not Healy — was on his way to the UFC.

Uh…… huh?

King Mo, during the UFC application process post-fight interview. Props: Showtime Sports

Last night, the real story behind “Barnet vs. Kharitonov had nothing to do with the heavyweight grand prix. It had nothing to do with the middleweight championship of a sinking organization. Last night, as with every other Strikeforce show since the promotion was purchased by Zuffa, was little more than an audition. It was about who will get a UFC contract when Strikeforce goes under, and who will have to go through TUF. The fans knew it, the announcers knew it, going as far as confirming the Belfort vs. Le rumor, and the fighters definitely knew it.

Despite Strikeforce’s best efforts to hype Josh Barnett vs. Sergei Kharitonov as a potentially close fight, we all knew what to expect: A repeat of Kharitonov vs. Monson, except with a far superior version of Jeff Monson. Because of this, it’s hard to be impressed with anything that Josh Barnett does at this point. The tournament’s biggest names and most intriguing matchups for Barnett- Fedor, Werdum and Overeem- were all removed well before last night. Barnett has become such an overwhelming favorite to win that when he wins, he’s simply living up to expectations. He was paired up against an opponent with weak grappling credentials, knew he would dominate the fight once Kharitonov was on the ground, and fought accordingly. At least the tournament was set up so that he would get to face a competent grappler in the finals.

(Higgins enjoying the bright lights of Showtime)

Dropping the “Cage Potato” name may not impress the ladies, but it’s good enough to get you a little action from the folks at Strikeforce. Yours truly was sipping a Rockstar tallboy cageside at last night’s Challengers event, and for those of you who missed it I’m coming correct with a recap of the action. Sure, the Challengers series lacks the big-name fighters and forbidden psychological technologies of its big brother, but that doesn’t mean it’s low on action.

The turnout at the Cedar Park Arena, just outside of Austin, TX, looked more like that of a regional show than an event being broadcast on Showtime. Tickets went on sale 2-for-1 on Thursday, which is never a good sign. The fans that did turn out seemed largely there to support local fighters and drink some beer, but that’s to be expected for a Challengers card that doesn’t pack a lot of names that the casual fan would recognize aside from “Couture”.

Say what you want about his fighting prowess, but his Tamdan McCrory impression is spot-on.

By Cage Potato Contributor Seth “Insert Pop Culture Reference” Falvo

Normally, we media types tend to be skeptical of these Strikeforce Challengers cards. However, tonight’s card in Cedar Park, Texas couldn’t possibly come at a better time. Aside from keeping itself in the minds of MMA fans, Strikeforce can begin to sell the fans on its non-Emelianenko fighters. This card provides two very interesting options.

The event is headlined by a lightweight scrap between Lyle Beerbohm and Pat Healy. Undefeated in his first sixteen fights, former meth addict turned professional fighter Lyle Beerbohm has a story that practically sells itself. The fact that he’s only gone the distance twice doesn’t hurt, either. His opponent, former Maximum Fighting Championship welterweight champion Pat Healy, most recently fought against Josh Thomson as an injury replacement for Lyle Beerbohm. Don’t sleep on Healy because of his 25-17 record; he has victories over Dan Hardy, Paul Daley, and Carlos Condit.

(Healy vs. Ryan Ford @ MFC 17, 7/25/08)

After losing his belt to Gilbert Melendez last December, Josh Thomson returns to the Strikeforce cage tomorrow night at Fedor vs. Werdum, where he will be kicking off the Showtime broadcast against Pat "Bam Bam" Healy. Healy may be an unknown quantity among casual fans, but he’s a tough competitor who’s been fighting professionally since 2001, and could actually give the Punk a run for his money. Here’s what you need to know about him:

– Healy’s record stands at 22-15, with 19 of those wins coming via stoppage. His resume includes notable victories over Dan Hardy, Paul Daley, Carlos Condit, Mike Guymon, Ryan Ford (twice), and most recently, a unanimous decision over Bryan Travers at the Lindland vs. Casey Strikeforce Challengers card last month. He’s had the honor of being beaten up by Denis Kang, Chris Lytle, Brad Blackburn (twice), Jay Hieron, and Rory Markham.

– A current member of Team Quest’s Gresham camp and former collegiate wrestler, Healy was previously Maximum Fighting Championship’s welterweight champ, until he relinquished the belt to compete at lightweight. He has also competed for the IFL and WEC, and had one fight in the UFC — a first-round submission loss to Anthony Torres at UFC Fight Night 6.

– Healy is coming into this fight as a replacement for Lyle "Fancy Pants" Beerbohm, who suffered an elbow injury in his last fight against Vitor Ribeiro at Heavy Artillery. He’s a sizable betting underdog in the +300 to +380 range.

– He has a twin brother, Ryan, who also fights.

After the jump: More videos of Pat in action.

(Michael Bisping’s son he may or may not have had with Kim Couture will take on Mac Danzig and Woody Harrelson’s (alleged) bastard child June 26)

Strikeforce announced this afternoon the addition of a lightweight tilt between the promotion’s former 155-pound kingpin Josh Thomson and former MFC welterweight champ Pat "Bam Bam" Healy to its June 26 Fedor vs. Werdum Fight card. The event, which will also feature a rematch between former Strikeforce middleweight titleholder Cung Le and Scott Smith, will emanate from the HP Pavilion in San Jose, CA.

Healy (23-15) is a UFC, WEC and IFL vet who holds wins over Carlos Condit, Dan Hardy and Paul "Tinnitus" Daley. He has won seven of his last 10 fights, including a pair of Ws he earned against up-and-coming Canadian welterweight Ryan "The Real Deal" Ford.

Thomson (16-4 1, NC) was originally scheduled to face Lyle Beerbohm on the card, but it was announced that "Fancy Pants" had sustained an injury in his hotly contested bout with Vitor "Shaolin" Ribeiro last month, so Healy was brought in as his replacement. He’s coming off a highly competitive battle with Gilbert Melendez in December that saw "The Punk" lose his title and the bout via unanimous decision.
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