(You think it would be damn near impossible to sum up an 18-fight UFC career in one image, yet here we are.) 

Wow.

When we announced just hours ago that Jacob Volkmann had been cut from the UFC as part of a vast, government-led ploy to disarm the public following a 1-2 run in his last 3 fights, little did we know that his termination was just the precursor for one of the largest mass firings in UFC history. But that appears to be the case, as it was recently made public that Volkmann was but one of 16 fighters to be cut from the UFC today.

Among the dead are a few guys you probably wont recognize (C.J. Keith, Motonobu Tezuka (?), Simeon Thoresen), a few guys who probably had it coming (Vladimir Matyushenko, Mike Russow, Mike Stumpf) and a couple of guys who couldn’t find a win in the UFC if they sold their souls to Dana White Satan (the continuously underwhelming Jorge Santiago and poor, poor Jay Hieron).

However, if you were to continue looking over said list, you would find a couple inclusions that would not only make you scratch your head, but possibly shave your head, eyebrows, body hair, and nipples off in a hallucinogenic stupor. After the jump, we’ve compiled our own list of the most shocking entries.

(Barao puts one upside Faber’s head at UFC 149. Photo via Jeff McIntosh/The Canadian Press)

The interim bantamweight title fight between Renan Barao and challenger Michael McDonald will go down at UFC on FUEL 7, February 16th at London’s Wembley Arena. UFC UK confirmed the news earlier today, and revealed a crop of supporting fights. They are…

- Paul Sass vs. Danny Castillo (LW): The British two-trick pony took his first career loss against Matt Wiman in September, while Team Alpha Male member Castillo had a three-fight win streak snapped in October when he was KO’d by Michael Johnson.

- Terry Etim vs. Renee Forte (LW): Inactive since becoming a permanent part of Edson Barboza’s highlight reel in January, Etim returns from injuries to face TUF Brazil castmember Renee Forte, who just suffered his first official UFC loss when he was submitted by Sergio Moraes at UFC 153.

- Andy Ogle vs. Josh Grispi (FW): Grispi is on a three-fight losing streak, while TUF: Live castmember Ogle lost his official UFC debut in a decision against Akira Corassani in September. Oh, you bet your ass it’s “win or go home” time.

When the UFC first announced that Stefan Struve vs. Stipe Miocic would be the main event of yesterday’s UFC on FUEL 5, most of us assumed that the fight would serve as a coming out party for Stipe Miocic. Even though he hadn’t faced any big names in his UFC career, the heavy-handed prospect certainly looked like he was Cleveland’s next best hope for a champion. Putting Stipe in the cage with a fighter that (arguably) has a weak chin could produce a highlight reel knockout and put Miocic “in the mix” at the heavyweight division.

Except that didn’t happen. Miocic managed to land some heavy shots throughout the fight, but in the end Struve proved to be too much, earning the TKO in the second round. While Miocic outworked Struve throughout the first round, Stipe Miocic had no answers for the lanky heavyweight’s offense once Struve actually started using his jab. Sorry, Cleveland, but you really should have seen this one coming.

This isn’t meant to take anything away from Stefan Struve, as he looked pretty impressive with his victory. Any questions about his chin seemed to be answered yesterday, as he weathered some heavy punches on his way to earning the TKO. And forgive us if we’re harping on this, but when Struve actually uses his jab, he’s a completely different fighter. His lanky attack creates problems for everyone in the heavyweight division, warranting a post-fight comparison to Jon Jones from Chael Sonnen (except Chael added that Struve has twice the courage of Jon Jones, naturally). The twenty four year old fighter improves to 9-3 in the UFC, and is currently riding a four fight win streak.

(Just remember, Stipe: The bigger they are, the funnier they lawn-chair. / Photo via MMAJunkie.com)

The UFC makes its first (and only!) U.K. stop of 2012 today, with a card that’s low on star power but high on potential fireworks. If you’re reading this right now, it means you’re at least sort-of interested, and that’s good enough for us. So which heavyweight main-eventer is about to put himself “in the mix”? Can Dan Hardy string together his first back-to-back wins since 2009? Will Matt Wiman be just another notch on Paul “Sassangle” Sass‘s sassbelt? And WTF is wrong with Kyle Kingsbury, anyway? The answers to most of those questions will be revealed shortly.

Handling liveblog business for the UFC on FUEL 5 main card broadcast is George Shunick, who will be stacking round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m PT. Let us know how you feel in the comments section, and refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. And as always, thanks for spending part of your weekend with us.

(Reason #6: Impromptu limbo competitions!) 

The UFC will be making it’s return to jolly old England this weekend and go figure, the card is of the mid to low interest range and will be broadcast for free here in the States (unless you don’t have FUEL, of course. What’s that? NO ONE has Fuel?!). Not that we’re complaining about a night of free fights, but the buzz surrounding this event could best be described as tumbleweeds. Fortunately for you, there are at least five good reasons to tune in Saturday afternoon, which we’ve laid out in a convenient list format with bold titles and everything. Aren’t we just the best?

1. A Main Event That Definitely Ain’t Going the Distance 

As BG explained earlier, a fight with Stefan Struve ends in one of three ways; Struve via submission, Struve via (T)KO, or Struve’s opponent via uber-violent KO. His fights are like the Paranormal Activity movies; you know from the start how badly things will end for the parties involved, but it’s the path to that ending that you’re interested in. The same can be said for the undefeated Stipe Miocic, minus the uber-violent losses of course. Miocic has been on an absolute tear since entering the UFC and has finished 2 of his 3 opponents in brutal fashion. In fact, in a combined 38 fights, the two main event players have only seen the judges scorecards twice. And Saturday night will be no different; Struve will either take this fight to the ground and try to pull off a sub or throw caution to the wind and get savaged. In either case, it will make for one incredibly entertaining fight.

In June 2010, we posted a list of the ten greatest fighters who had yet to take a loss. By November 2011, none of their perfect records were still intact, proving once again what a cruel bitch this sport is. Half of the fighters on our original list — Shane Carwin (#1), Megumi Fujii (#2), Ryan Bader (#6), Evan Dunham (#7), and Lyle Beerbohm (#10) — have even lost *twice* since then. So we decided to start over from scratch and come up with a new ranking of undefeated MMA fighters. Check it out, and let us know who you think will hold onto their ’0′ the longest. -BG

#1: DANIEL CORMIER (10-0, six wins by first-round stoppage)

Notable victories: Jeff Monson at Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum (UD), Antonio Silva at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Kharitonov (KO R1), Josh Barnett at Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Cormier (UD)

Next fight: TBA

The former collegiate wrestling star and Olympic competitor went through hell to get to where he is today. Less than three years after kicking off his MMA career, Cormier battled his way to a career-defining matchup against ex-UFC champ Josh Barnett — a catch-wrestling savant with four times as many fights on his pro record as Cormier — in the finals of Strikeforce’s Heavyweight Grand Prix. But Dan didn’t need to turn the meeting into a grappling match. As he also demonstrated against Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva in his previous outing, Cormier packs enough speed and punching-power to win fights with his striking alone. It’s only a matter of time before he enters the UFC to take on the best in the world, and we have a feeling he’ll make an immediate impact.

#2: MICHAEL CHANDLER (10-0, eight wins by stoppage)

Notable victories: Patricky Freire at Bellator 44 (UD), Eddie Alvarez at Bellator 58 (sub R4), Akihiro Gono at Bellator 67 (TKO R1)

Next fight: TBA

Michael Chandler is the perfect example of how a tournament can transform a fighter from unheralded prospect to breakout star. After winning his first two Bellator appearances by swift first-round stoppage in 2010, Chandler was invited to participate in the promotion’s season four lightweight tournament. The Xtreme Couture product sliced through it, starting with a first-round submission of Polish prodigy Marcin Held, and ending with a decision win over knockout artist Patricky “Pitbull” Freire in the finals. Then, Chandler did the unthinkable — he took the lightweight belt from Eddie Alvarez, choking out the formerly untouchable Bellator champ in the fourth round of an insane Fight of the Year candidate last November. (A follow-up non-title match against Akihiro Gono was little more than a one-minute showcase of his killer instinct.) In eight months, Chandler went from 5-0 up-and-comer to newly-minted champion with a win over a top-ten ranked opponent. Is it okay if we use the “meteoric rise” cliché, just this once?

Unfortunately, last Tuesday’s UFC on FUEL: Zombie vs. Poirier card all but completely derailed our recent run of luck with the Gambling Enabler (aside from the decision to purchase some Bud Light Platinums to celebrate another beautiful McKenzietine bet), but hopefully this weekend’s UFC 146 event, which features an all heavyweight main card for the first time in UFC history will help get things back on track. So without further adieu, may we present to you the tasty betting lines, brought to you courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our brilliant/equally insane advice below.

Main Card
Frank Mir (+425) vs. Junior dos Santos (-550)
Cain Velasquez (-400) vs. Antonio Silva (+325)
Roy Nelson (-225) vs. Dave Herman (+185)
Shane del Rosario (+135) vs. Stipe Miocic (-155)
Lavar Johnson (+105) vs. Stefan Struve (-125)

Preliminary Card (FX)
Diego Brandao (-265) vs. Darren Elkins (+205)
Edson Barboza (-550) vs. Jamie Varner (+425)
Jason Miller (-145) vs. C.B. Dollaway (+115)
Dan Hardy (-130) vs. Duane Ludwig (+100)

Preliminary Card (Facebook)
Paul Sass (+170) vs. Jacob Volkmann (-215)
Glover Teixeira (-240) vs. Kyle Kingsbury (+180)
Mike Brown (-160) vs. Daniel Pineda (+130)

Thoughts…

(“It’s called an ‘illusion’, okay? A ‘trick’ is something a whore does for money.”)

Leading up to her Strikeforce title fight against Miesha Tate on Saturday, Ronda Rousey bristled at the suggestion that she was a “one-trick pony” simply because she had finished all four of her professional MMA fights — and her two amateur fights before that — by armbar. Then, Rousey finished Tate by armbar anyway.

But being a one-trick pony shouldn’t be a derogatory term in MMA. If you’re so good at your specialized technique that you can finish top-flight opponents with it, even though they know it’s coming, then you should be applauded, not criticized. So let’s pay tribute to the seven greatest one-trickers in mixed martial arts. If we’ve left out any good ones, please let us know in the comments section.

RONDA ROUSEY
Trick: The armbar
Finishing percentage via that trick: 100% (5 armbar wins in 5 pro fights)
Does she have a nickname based on that trick?: No
How long can Ronda’s perfect armbar streak last? Unlike some of the other names on this list, “Rowdy” has proven that she can land her technique-of-choice against the elite of her division. Rousey faces former Strikeforce 135-pound champion Sarah Kaufman next, and it might be a good sign that Kaufman’s sole career loss — against Marloes Coenen in 2010 — came via armbar.

GIVA SANTANA

Trick: The armbar
Finishing percentage via that trick: 72.2% (13 armbar wins in 18 pro fights)
Does he have a nickname based on that trick?: Yes, “The Arm Collector”
Carrying an overall record of 17-1, Givanildo Santana has torqued elbow-joints all over the world. Santana picked up his 13th armbar win during his Bellator debut in October, and is a dark horse to sweep the promotion’s upcoming middleweight tournament.

(We know Dan, he watches over us all.) 

It looks like Dan Hardy won’t be getting that fight against Matt Hughes he was angling for. And thank God, because we hear Hughes’ country breakfasts consist of Ovaltine and Total these days (we kind, we kid; they consist of grilled bobcat).  

After going 0-4 through 2010 and 2011, Hardy has been matched up with a perfect opponent to kickstart 2012, when he takes on UFC veteran Duane “Bang” Ludwig at UFC 146. Hardy, who has not fought since falling to a third round guillotine choke in Chris Lytle’s retirement bout in August of 2011, took some time off to refocus, train, and get pestered by drunken fans. Ludwig also saw his last fight end by way of guillotine, only he chose to adhere to the “tapping is for bitches” rule when he was choked out by Josh Neer at UFC on FX. The loss snapped a two fight win streak for Ludwig, his first since 2008, which included wins over Nick Osipczak and Amir Sadollah.

Although this wasn’t the match Hardy wanted, you gotta imagine he’ll be stoked knowing he’s taking on a fellow slugger with a limited ground game. But it will be interesting to see if Hardy follows a more subdued gameplan here. Like we said, the man’s dropped 4 straight, and another loss could mean his Zuffa career. Then again, the only reason that he is still in the UFC is thanks to his consistently exciting performances, so a snoozer against Ludwig seems unlikely. Let’s just sit back and enjoy what is sure to be a war, ladies and gentlemen.

In other UFC 146 news…

(Believe me when I tell you that I take each and every fight with 100% seriousness.)

On the heels of his second round Fight of the Night earning performance over John Olav Einemo at UFC 131, Dave Herman had a bit of momentum going for him. The Team Quest boldly claimed that “Jiu Jitsu doesn’t work” and then proceeded to handily defeat an ADCC champion in his UFC debut. But Herman’s hype train was nearly derailed in September, when he tested positive for marijuana and steroids in the aftermath of his aforementioned win over Einemo. The details surrounding his testing were sketchy to say the least, but in light of the circumstances he was pulled out of his UFC 136 bout with Mike Russow nonetheless. Well it seems “Peewee’s” pee is now clean, as he has been booked for a fight with Dutch submission specialist Stefan Struve for the UFC’s debut on FuelTV this February.

UFC Live: Cruz vs. Johnson goes down this Saturday, featuring the Cody McKenzie of triangles, Paul “Sassangle” Sass. Only time will tell if the “Sassangle” proves more successful than the “Mckenzietine,” but just in case Paul is one of our many devoted readers out there, we figured we’d let 2009 ADCC double gold medalist,  2011 Superfight Champion, and human Jiu-Jitsu highlight reel Braulio Estima demonstrate one of the many inversions of the triangle.

(“Okay, bring in the giant banana-dong.” Photo courtesy of Brittney Palmer’s Facebook page.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- The Ten Most Interesting Octagon Offerings in the Next 100 Days (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Scott Jorgensen Welcomes Jeff Curran Back to Big Leagues at UFC 137 (5thRound)

- Former UFC Fighter Justin Wren Puts Career on Hold to Answer Divine Call (MMA Fighting)

- Cung Le Discusses His Fighting Future, Says if It’s Not With the UFC He’s Done (LowKick)

- The Top Ten Exhibitions of Denny’s Street MMA (MiddleEasy)

- Dan Henderson’s Greatest Hits (MMA Convert)

- All Balls Brawl: An MMAmania Interview Exclusive With Gesias Cavalcante (MMA Mania)

- Nate Marquardt and the Issue of Accepting Responsibility (FightOpinion)

- Fight Nerd Cinema: “Ip Man” Movie Review (TheFightNerd)

- The 20 Goofiest MMA Fighters Ever (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- UFC to Air Cruz vs. Johnson on Versus (MMAPayout)

- ‘TUF 12′ Finalist Michael Johnson Faces the ‘Sassangle’ at UFC on Versus 6 (NBC Sports MMA)

(Warburton vs. Ross Pearson, 9/22/07. Skip to the 5:20 mark to see some amazingly irresponsible reffing.)

Half of the guys on the UFC 120 preliminary card will be making their Octagon debuts, hoping to claim some TV time by smashing their veteran opponents — or at the very least not do so poorly that they’re immediately fired. Take a look at the first three today, and keep an eye out for them on Saturday…

CURT WARBURTON (LW)
Experience: 7-2-1 record in various British promotions, with 6 wins by first-round stoppage. Warburton fought TUF 9 winner Ross Pearson three times in the Total Combat UK league, going an even 1-1-1 in the series.
Will be facing: Spencer Fisher (23-6, 8-5 UFC)
Lowdown: Warburton is a Wolfslair MMA Academy product who "used to dig holes for a living" before discovering MMA. He described himself as "gobsmacked" by his four-fight UFC contract, and is humbled by the opportunity that’s been put in front of him. “I got butterflies when I was given [Fisher's] name," Warburton says. "It took me by surprise a little bit, as he’s a top fighter and very experienced. When you get used to seeing people fight on television, it becomes a little strange to then be told you’ve got to fight him. Like everyone else, I’ve enjoyed watching Spencer fight over the years, and it was a bit of a ‘wow’ moment for me when I discovered I’d be fighting him on my UFC debut…I’ve got to go out there and prove to everybody that I belong at this level. This is my chance to keep on doing something that I love. If I can’t perform on the night, and can’t do it on the big stage, I’ll have to give up on something I love and go back to work."