(Props: youtube.com/fueltv)

Chael Sonnen is back with more surreal statements in his latest Chael’s Corner segment for Fuel’s UFC Tonight. Here a sampling of Sonnen’s sincere and deep thoughts:

“Fighters have recently seen it as their quasi-job to continually put out misinformation.”

Recently? Naw that’s nothing new, Chael. Fighters have never had a problem, say, screaming in pain and tapping out to a submission, and then claiming that they did not. Heck, some guys have even gone on pr campaigns questioning the professionalism of refs who save fighters who ask for fights to be stopped. Maybe it doesn’t count as misinformation if the obvious truth is caught on live national television.

“[Some fighters] just refuse to answer a question, head on.”

True. Like, for example, answering questions with non-sequitor quotes ripped off from western movies and pro wrestling promos.

“There’s a tremendous difference between what fighters say vs. what fighters mean.”

(This is where we’d normally make some sort of Geico Caveman reference, but those jokes, like the commercials, have been played out to the point of eye-gouging redundancy. So, uh…beauty and the beast?) 

Though they may not get your engine revving, a couple of sure-to-be-undercard bouts have been booked for the UFC’s debut on FUEL TV, the first of which being a featherweight match-up between grappling wizards Jonathan Brookins and Rani Yahya. After lateral dropping his way through season 12 of The Ultimate Fighter, Brookins recently saw a four fight win streak snapped at the hands of featherweight contender Eric Koch in a three rounder reminiscent of Couture vs. Vera that saw Brookins unable to get Koch to the mat.

Yahya, on the other hand, is likely fighting for his future in the UFC. Just 1-3 in his past four, with the lone win coming against a struggling (and last minute replacement) Mike Brown, we last saw Yahya on the losing end of a unanimous decision to Jose Aldo‘s next challenger, Chad Mendes. Prior to the Brown win, Yahya was outclassed by Takeya Mizugaki in another decision at WEC 48 and TKO’ed by future flyweight champ Joseph Benavidez at WEC 45.

We’d tell you how we can do this to that poor girl, but it’s already been asked.

We’re back with yet another installment of Ask the Potato. You know the drill by now. You ask us somewhat serious questions. We give you bitter, sarcastic responses. Those Black Friday discounts we got yesterday have us feeling pretty stoked, so we’re not going to be nearly as facetious as usual. Sarcasm? Only one way to find out…

RSparrow asks: Who’s the black guy that’s always at the weigh ins? Like some kinda hype man, wtf?

(“UFC 140: Jones vs. Machida” video trailer. Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Some selected highlights from our eBros around the MMA blogosphere…

- Dana White Relieved Shogun vs. Henderson Didn’t Headline FOX Premiere (5th Round)

- ‘Tapped Out’ Author Talks Transformation From Pudgy Writer to Formidable Fighter (MMAFighting)

- Chael Sonnen Accepts Anderson Silva’s Challenge to Fight in Brazil (Five Ounces of Pain)

- UFC Champ Junior Dos Santos Contemplating 2016 Olympic Run in Boxing (FightLine)

- Tito Ortiz Has a Message for Rich Franklin: ‘I’ll Break You Off Some’ (MMA Mania)

- 15 MMA Fighters Who Are Ready to Explode Onto the Scene (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Remember When Joe Rogan Was on the Cover of “Black Belt” Magazine? (The Fight Nerd)

- Paulo Filho Pulled Out of ANOTHER Fight, and Now KSW Is Pretty Heated (MiddleEasy)

- Vadim Finkelstein: We Will Offer the UFC a Fight Between Velasquez and Fedor (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- DREAM New Year! 2011 Will Likely Feature Fedor Emelianenko and Shinya Aoki (MMA Convert)

- Media/Insider Fallout From UFC’s Debut on Fox (Fight Opinion)

- UFC 139: Payout Perspective (MMA Payout)

(Filho pointing out his biggest problems in life: bitches and money.)

Paulo Filho today responded to the Portal do Vale Tudo story released this week in which his former manager and friend Rodrigo Riscada accused the former WEC middleweight champion of still being strongly addicted to GHB. “Ely” told Tatame that he is over his addiction and that he is also likely done with fighting after his
contracted KSW 17 bout against Mamed Khalidov in November.

According to Filho, who is reportedly in debt to a few people in Brazil, reportedly due to his massive addiction to rohypnol and the fact that he missed out on the Zuffa drug plan by a couple years, he is planning on walking away from the sport because he received death threats over his drug debts.

“I’m choosing retirement, man… I may fight in November (in Poland) because I already signed the contract. after that I will retire. I don’t want this anymore. I’m kind of disappointed with this stuff, fighting and not getting paid. I don’t want people comforting me, I just want what is mine. That’s the third time I fight and not get paid. I was the threatened of death by people I owe here in Niteroi.”

Now, I’ve never done roofies, at least not to my knowledge, but maybe someone with knowledge on the subject could correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m thinking his lack of correlative logic is a direct result of his drug use. I mean, if I were in huge debt and the only moneymaking skill I had fighting, I would likely not retire. But that’s just me.

We can’t embed the stream since we don’t have the flash plug-in installed to our site, but you can check out the last half of the card HERE.

Make sure you click the “Full Screen” button.

(Main event, huh? Interesting choice.)

Just a friendly reminder that the inaugural Amazon Forest Combat show is tonight and for those of you who want to watch it, we’ll have a stream Thursday afternoon. Sorry for the inconvenience, but we’re told that there was a scheduling issue and even the networks in Brazil who were to carry the event live are not airing it until tomorrow and this weekend, respectively.

Fair warning: Chael Sonnen tells us the Internet quality in Brazil is slightly better than dial-up, so the quality may be a bit less than 720p.

Anyway, the card for this show is a good one and definitely worth watching.  It should be live around 4:00 pm ET Thursday, we’re told.

By Mike Russell

(Parisyan says he’s motivated to beat Smith and get back on the winning track.)
Karo “The Heat” Parisyan (19-7) will take on Jordan “Mata Ele” Smith (15-2-1) September 14 at the upstart Amazon Forest Combat promotion’s first event in Manaus, Amazonas, Brazil.

Parisyan informed CagePotato.com last night that the bout agreements for the fight have been signed and said that he’s excited to get back out and put on an even better performance than he did in his last outing in May at MMA Live 1 against Ryan “The Real Deal” Ford in London, Ontario, Canada. He was winning the fight heading into the third round, having controlled the action using takedowns and his trademark judo throws, but was caught with a well-timed knee by the Canadian welterweight standout who recently signed with Bellator and the bout was stopped due to a cut. The heartbreaking loss left a bad taste in Parisyan’s mouth and motivated him to up his training intensity while awaiting word of his next bout.

Genki Sudo vs. Royler Gracie, from K-1 Romanex 5/22/2004

When we last checked in on Royler Gracie, the forty five year old Brazilian was looking for an opponent for Amazon Forest Combat’s inaugural event on September 14^th. Initially, we reported that Royler turned down an ADCC bout with Eddie Bravo in hopes of getting him to fight at this event. Later, it was revealed that Hideo Tokoro was initially targeted as an opponent for Royler Gracie, but that fight fell through because Tokoro will more than likely be fighting at a Dream September event. Now, as Sherdog reported earlier today, former Shooto champion Masakatsu Ueda has stepped up to fight Royler Gracie in what will be his final MMA bout.

Royler Gracie is 5-4-1 in his professional MMA career. He hasn’t fought since losing to Hideo Tokoro at K-1 Premium 2006 Dynamite!! on New Year’s Eve, 2006. Ueda, meanwhile, is 13-1-2 and riding a three fight win streak. He most recently knocked out Rumina Sato with a body kick on July 18^th. If you’re a believer in “momentum” and/or “cage rust”, then Ueda is easily the early favorite.

Travis Fulton vs. Jeremy Bullock: just what the hell did they expect to happen?

“Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

Keeping those words from the first collection in our hearts, we’ve assembled the second installment of moments in MMA that some of us (mostly the athletes involved) would like to forget. The rest of us, we want to see those moments saved forever, preferably in a graphic format that loops endlessly.

First, get your mind right with a fight video from the dark ages of MMA, when any human with a pair of pajamas and some Tae Kwon Do could try that crazy ultimate fightin’ stuff. It was 1998, and Travis Fulton had already had over sixty fights. His opponent was Jeremy Bullock, a skinny guy that probably really liked Bruce Lee movies. Make sure to watch Bullock’s interview, where he shares his keys to victory with everyone, including Fulton. Also watch the fight, where Fulton shares his love for a good pro wrestling-style chokeslam with everyone, including Bullock. (Reportedly, Bullock thinks Bruce Lee is a fucking asshole these days.)

Once you’re done with that piece of history, come on in and we’ll share more moments of infamy, awkwardness, stupidity, and shame. It’s Fail GIF time, kids; let’s party.

As always, big ups, props, and mad respec’ to the GIF masters and the websites that host them: Chris Bunch o’ Numbers, Uncle Justice, Damn Severn, Zombie Prophet, Caposa, UpstandingCitizens, MMA-Core, IronForgesIron, and MMATKO. If we forgot you, it’s not on purpose.

(Size advantage goes to Ishii; shitty tattoo advantage is all Filho.)

A bout between former WEC middleweight champion Paulo Filho and Olympic judo gold medalist Satoshi Ishii, presumably at light heavyweight, is being targeted for Amazon Forest Combat’s inaugural event in Manaus-Amazonas, Brazil on September 14. According to a report by TATAME, the promotion is also in talks with several notable ex-Zuffa fighters including Marcus Davis, Nate Marquardt, Patrick Cote and Ronys Torres.

(Filho has recently begun wearing his Jesus teeth wherever he goes. Any time one of his friends or coaches try to tell him to take them out, he pretends he’s deaf.)

Sure Paulo Filho may be batshit crazy, but that doesn’t stop the dude from fighting as much as he can.

“Ely” has signed on to compete for three different organizations in a three-month span in Brazil in March, April and May, and if the beleaguered fighter can put together an impressive win streak, it’s not entirely outside the realm of possibility that we might see the former WEC middleweight champ return to the UFC when they bring their travelling circus back to the South American country for the second time in history.

On March 19 he will get his feet wet by taking on  4-7 Peruvian fighter Jackson Mora at the WFC: Pretorian event in Rio de Janeiro. Then on April 29 he will square off with fellow Brazilian and 14-3 UFC vet Ronys Torres at the International Fighter Championship (IFC) event in Recife before strapping on the gloves again one month later to lock horns with Gustavo “Ximu” Machado (16-8-1) on May 14 at Fatality Arena 3 back in Rio (*editor’s note: Seriously, it’s called Fatality Arena 3. We couldn’t make that shit up).

(Video courtesy YouTube/clearwatertopteam)

Usually when a fighter or his management put out a highlight reel or a mini-documentary that they have the final say in producing, the final product is equal parts bias, hype and bullshit. There are exceptions of course, but nine times out of ten the best videos come from passionate fans who have no vested interest in the fighter, besides being entertained by them.

The Minowaman video above is no exception.

If you aren’t familiar with the story of "The Giant Killer," Ikuhisa Minowa is a Japanese fighter who began his career with a dismal record of one win in his first ten fights before turning things around and becoming one of Asia’s biggest MMA stars.

(Props: Sherdog)

Inspiration to all women Kim Couture competed at Ring of Combat 32 in Atlantic City on Saturday, dropping a unanimous decision to Team Tiger Schulmann product Munah Holland, who was making her pro MMA debut. As captured in the photo above, the aftermath was eerily familiar. The loss dropped Couture’s record to 3-4, and comes just three weeks after her submission victory over Felicia Wells at an Absolute Action MMA event in Kentucky; Wells also had an 0-0 record going into the fight, just like Couture’s two previous opponents, Marianna Kheyfets (who Couture lost to by first-round submission) and Rosa Vizcarra. Couture’s spotty record against inexperienced fighters is very surprising, considering what a beast she is in training.

In other somewhat-depressing weekend MMA news…

(The moral of the story? When Gina Carano does it, it’s awesome. When Paulo Filho does it, it’s terrible. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

Anybody can be forgiven for missing weight by a half-pound — as long as it doesn’t become a habit. But when an MMA fighter comes in a full four pounds heavy, as Efrain Escudero did this week for his doomed UFC Fight Night 22 bout against Charles Oliveira, it tends to raise some eyebrows. As we’ve done previously with steroid busts, we decided to catalog the worst scale-fails in MMA history, arranged by number of pounds over the limit. When the information was available, we also listed the punishments the fighters were given, along with their excuses for missing weight, which range from injuries to salt water to the dreaded “menstrual period.” This is by no means a definitive list — but we’d like it be, eventually. So if you know of any other occasions where fighters missed weight by four pounds or more, or missed weight for multiple fights, please let us know in the comments section.

* Note: We’ve eliminated the “Repeat Offenders” section. In the instances where fighters has notably missed weight on more than one occasion (see: A. Johnson, P. Daley, T. Alves), we’ve ranked them in the leaderboard by their greatest weigh-in failure.

Karl Knothe @ Shark Fights 17
Weigh-in date: 7/14/11
Weight: 253.75 pounds, 23.75 over the 230-pound catchweight limit
How is that even possible? Due to some miscommunication between Knothe and his management, Knothe was never informed that his scheduled bout against Ricco Rodriguez was supposed to be at a catchweight, instead of at heavyweight.
Result: The Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation disallowed Knothe from competing due to the large weight-gap and concerns over excessive weight-cutting. Knothe was paid a portion of his salary anyway, while Ricco Rodriguez instead faced 5-12 replacement Doug Williams. Rodriguez won via rear-naked choke in the first round.

Heather Martin @ Freestyle Cage Fighting 46
Weigh-in date: 4/8/11
Weight: 178 pounds, 13 over limit; Martin got down to 173 after two additional attempts
Fight result: Martin’s opponent Amanda Lucas actually withdrew from the fight. As she explained, “This is a professional sport, one I take seriously, and in which I dedicate my life to. To fight someone in [Martin's] condition or to fight someone way beyond the contracted weight is bad for both myself, and women’s MMA.”

If you were one of the many people who had serious doubts that both of the upstart Impact Fighting Championships promotion’s two scheduled July MMA events would go off without a hitch and the issue would somehow relate back to Paulo Filho, you were right, except for the fact that the beleaguered Brazilian is not at all to blame for the controversy surrounding the shows.

The issue that has affected not only Filho, but also the majority of the fighters who competed on the pair of Australian cards, is that none of them have been paid by the promotion.

We learned of the situation Wednesday from one of the affected fighters who wished to remain anonymous, but have since been able to confirm the story with more than a dozen others, including Karo Parisyan, Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou, Jesse Taylor and Brian Ebersole, that none of the cards’ participants have received their complete fight purses .

(Is the 10-point must system suitable for use in MMA?)

After re-watching the Impact FC bout between Denis Kang and Paulo Filho that ended in a split draw – the second notable MMA bout to do so in a month with the other being the WEC 49 bout between Jamie Varner and Kamal Shalorus – I couldn’t help but wonder why MMA continues to rely on a scoring system created and tailored for boxing judging.

When the majority of mixed martial arts organizations adopted the Unified Rules in 2000, along with the governing principles, each organization adopted the system known as the 10-point must system.

Under the guidelines of the 10-point must system, judges score each frame based on their accumulative points tally for the round. The winner of each round receives a score between seven and 10 depending on who won the round. If a round is deemed a tie, both combatants are assessed 10 points each by the judge who perceived the frame to be even. The problem with the system is, when used to score a three-round MMA bout, the likelihood of a fight ending in a draw is exponentially higher than in a 10-round boxing match.

(Never surrender, except to leg kicks. VidProps: YouTube/ZP840)

If you can imagine a fight card populated by has-beens and no-accounts, filmed by the blind and narrated by the guys from “Flight of the Conchords” (except without the genuinely funny parts), then you have a pretty good idea what it was like to watch Impact FC’s first-ever pay-per-view on Saturday night. “The Uprising” was filled with plenty of the awkward pauses, even more awkward announcing, terrible camera work and retro graphics that we’ve come to expect from fledgling MMA promotions. As for the actual fighting? It played out about like you might have predicted, too.

Indeed when, just a few moments into the broadcast, nattily attired but totally incompetent ring announcer James White forgot his lines midway through his introductory remarks and had to stop cold to confess he’d drawn a blank, you knew it was going to be a long night. Despite how many times we were informed by the play-by-play team that the action in the cage was “thunderous” or “amazing” the show – filmed around noon local time in Sydney, Australia in a partially filled arena — felt so flat that the fighters themselves would’ve been hard-pressed to break the monotony. Luckily for them, it didn’t seem like they were trying too hard.

(A face made for pay-per-view. PicProps: Middle Easy.com)

As if you needed any reminder. For whatever reason – probably psychologically rooted in our inability to look away from the scene of a car crash – the MMA media has covered the shit out of Impact FC’s rapid fire debuts in Australia during the last couple of weeks. Last Friday’s show – in which Josh Barnett crushed some can named Geronimo Something-or-other — was just a subtle aperitif before tonight’s main course, which is available on pay-per-view for all to see, beginning at 10 p.m. EST/7 p.m. PST.

Look, we’re not going to beat around the bush here. Impact FC needs you to buy this card. For evidence, look no further than the promotion’s refusal this week to buy Bob Sapp a plane ticket from Bulgaria to Sydney because it allegedly couldn’t afford it. If true, that’s not the mark of a cash-rich business, people.

(Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with Paulo Filho’s next tattoo)?

When the upstart Impact Fighting Championships organization announced it would be putting on a series of events in Australia anchored by a cast of controversial WEC, PRIDE and UFC castaways like Karo Parisyan, Ricco Rodriguez, Paulo Filho, Ken Shamrock, Paul Daley and Jesse Taylor, Ben and I figuratively high-fived each other in anticipation of the sheer amount of material for the site the event would undoubtedly produce.??

The fact that the first show basically went off without a hitch would have lost us both money if we trusted our predictions enough to bet that there would be problems with the show.??

A 46-year-old admitted steroid user. A hot-headed sucker-puncher. A veteran film actor. A crazy person. Not one, but two TUF 7 burnouts. Yep, this Sunday’s Impact FC show in Sydney is going to be all kinds of stupid. Even if you’re not buying the pay-per-view, please head over to fightpicker.cagepotato.com and see how accurately you can predict the results. Although with a card this volatile, you may as well try to predict how many fights War Machine will get into while incarcerated.

This week’s MMA FightPicker pool question list is after the jump. If you have any other ideas for FP questions related to the Impact show, please let us know in the comments section. Who knows, we may toss your question in as a bonus on Friday..

(Photo courtesy of travisthehurricane.com)

Bellator announced yesterday that they have signed 14-2 prospect Travis "The Hurricane" Reddinger for their upcoming bantamweight tournament. You can’t miss him — he’s the guy with the enormous "BELLATOR" tattoo on his stomach. So did Reddinger get the piece done in a fit of excitement after he learned of his signing? Nope. It turns out it was just a strange coincidence. As Travis explained, he got the tat four-and-a-half years ago, long before Bellator Fighting Championships even existed: 

"For me it just symbolizes perseverance and the never-say-die mentality that I strive for. I know that Bellator stands for the warrior mentality as well, so it’s a great honor for me to be a part of the organization.”

Makes sense to us, though it’s still going to to look strange when he gets picked up by the WEC. Reddinger’s Bellator-ink earns him a spot in MMA’s Weird-Stomach-Tattoo Hall of Fame. You can check out the other members after the jump…

(Ironically, this is the most non-crazy tattoo Paulo has.)

Realizing that chronically unreliable personal demon chaser Paulo Filho will do well to make it to one of his scheduled July Impact Fighting Championship bouts, the Australia Athletic Commission has disallowed the Brazilian from competing on both the July 10 and July 18 cards as planned.

Graciemag announced the news we have all been predicting today.

Filho (20-1), who was originally also slated to fight at Impact FC’s scrapped July 3 event in Perth, takes on K-1 Heroes, PRIDE and UFC veteran Denis Kang (32-12-1, 2 NC) on July 18 in Sydney if he makes it to the show. 

(Does this smell bad to you?)

Embattled former WEC middleweight champion Paulo Filho sat down with TATAME’s Guilherme Cruz and the Brazilian says he’s fed up with the amount of disrespect he has been shown by MMA media and fans and that he deserves more reverence for what he has done in his 10-year career.

“I’d like a little more support, because the critics are so numerous that it’s discouragement. An athlete holding a professional record of 20 wins and only one loss can’t be disrespected.”

The 32-year-old has brought the brunt of criticism onto himself.

(Protect yourself at all times. Seriously, Daniel, *all* times.)

Australian upstart fight promotion Impact FC recently confirmed that UFC refugee Paul Daley will be competing at their July 18th show in Sydney — not on 7/3 as originally reported — against Chute Boxe product Daniel Acacio (21-9). According to impactfc.au.com, the Sydney fight card currently looks like this:

Ken Shamrock vs. Pedro Rizzo
Paul Daley vs. Daniel Acacio
Murilo Bustamante vs. Jesse Taylor
Jeff Monson vs. Ricco Rodriguez
Joaquim "Mamute" Ferreira vs. Sokoudjou
Paulo Filho vs. Denis Kang

Two thoughts come to mind upon seeing this lineup: 1) Damn, that’s a lot of star power for a brand-new league. And 2) My God, this is like the MMA equivalent of the Legion of Doom. Let’s run it down…

(VidProps: YouTube)

As the avid link-dumpers among us learned yesterday, Tatame.com reported this week that troubled former WEC middleweight champion Paulo Filho was scheduled to meet Chilean heavyweight Daniel Gabriel at an MMA event in Sao Paulo, Brazil on Friday night. Now, the above video purports to show Filho scoring a victory via first-round TKO at that show.

Though pretty much everything involving Filho is unreliable and shady – and since the ring announcer in this vid sounds like the Portuguese equivalent of all the adults in the old Charlie Brown cartoon, we can’t 100 percent vouch for its authenticity – the only other TKO stoppage on Filho’s official record came against Joe Doerksen at WEC 29 in 2007 (and that ain’t the WEC or "El Dirte" shown here), so we’re going to assume this footage is legit and cautiously say: Paul Filho def. Daniel Gabriel via TKO (punches), first round.

(The cover of Fight!’s May 2010 issue, on newsstands now.)

Thank God as you understand Him it’s Friday, right guys? I remembered to actually look at a few of your comments this week, which means it’s time to give away one-year Fight! Magazine subscriptions to three lucky bastards. And those bastards are… 

steampunk22 on "Filho Blames Bellator for Visa Issues; Says Organization Was Scared Because They Heard He Was in Shape":
Ariel Helwani demonstrates what six weeks of the "Overeem Horsemeat Diet" can accomplish. Plaid shirts will never look the same again.

(Don’t be scurred, Bellator. You can’t fight the power of the plaid vest)

I was going to say the Paulo Filho saga has officially jumped the shark with the embattled Brazilian fighter’s latest whacked out accusations, but then I realized that to do that there would have had to be some semblance of believability that he was not crazy.

In an interview with TATAME today, Filho blamed  Bellator for his inability to obtain the American work visa necessary for him to face Hector Lombard on Thursday night’s card as originally planned and said it was likely because they were scared that the old "Ely" was back to form.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I think maybe people knew I was in a good shape, strong, so they got scared… In fact, I’ve been informed it was a mistake of the event, which didn’t gave me the letter so I could take it to the council. Things were left to be solved at the last minute, unfortunately I won’t fight.”

(Jay Silva and Chris Leben show off their top-of-the-food-chain striking at UFC Fight Night 20. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

By DL “It’s Latin for Warrior” Richardson

After news broke Friday that former top-10 middleweight Paulo Filho was possibly flaking out on his Bellator 18 fight against Hector Lombard, Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney replied that his people were in contact with Filho’s people and everyone’s duckies were in a row. Filho’s story had been that he would not receive a visa in time to travel to the US for the event, and indicated that the problem was either with Bellator officials or his own management, but had nothing to do with him. He was actually kinda bummed about it, poor guy, telling GracieMag: “I’m really upset because I’ve been training a lot. I did everything just right; I don’t know what to say.”

Despite Bellator’s official line that everything is fine, and everyone should just be cool, like a couple of little Fonzies, rumors are circulating that Paulo will be replaced by 5-3 fellow Brazilian Jay Silva. Silva, who went 0-2 in the UFC against CB Dollaway and Chris Leben, was apparently Bellator’s backup just in case something happened. Like a volcano. Or Filho going all batshit crazy.

Bellator’s press agents were not immediately available for comment.

UPDATE, 12:48 p.m. ET: Rebney has confirmed the news. And so, Bellator 18′s "SuperFight" is downgraded to an "OkayFight." At least we still have the featherweight semis to look forward to.

(The best part of having a million dollar bill on your person at all times? No more ATM fees.)

By DL Richardson

File it under “W” for “We Knew This Shit Would Happen”: GracieMag.com is reporting that Pride standout turned crazy man Paulo Filho will not be able to compete at next week’s Bellator 18 show. Filho was scheduled to face current Bellator middleweight champ Hector Lombard in a non-title SuperFight, which was, on paper at least, an intriguing matchup — much more compelling than last night’s Alvarez-Neer spanking. Filho, who lists his turn-ons as “Pitbulls, tattoos, and tattoos of pitbulls,” told GracieMag that some kind of administrative snafu was to blame for his failure to secure a visa: “It seems the event took too long in sending out the letter I needed to present at the consulate and I’m not sure but it could be there was some kind of failure on the part of my managers. So, I won’t get my visa in time.”

Now, the Bellator guys have done a remarkable job of reacting to fighter travel problems once already this season: When the Icelandic volcano apocalypse prevented welterweight “Judo” Jim Wallhead from traveling to the US to participate in the tournament, Rebney quickly substituted Ryan Thomas, who’d lost by a controversial referee stoppage to Ben Askren. Ryan Thomas won, setting up a rematch with Askren in the semifinals. Whether they’ll be able to work similar magic this quickly remains to be seen, but if they manage to pull a good replacement out of their asses, it will rival anything Toby Imada does for “Submission of the Year.”