Props: Nixson Sysanga via mmafanmade.tumblr.com

If I were to have told you before this event that a FUEL TV caliber card will have seven out of nine fights go the distance, it is doubtful that many of you would have watched UFC on FUEL 6. If I were to have reminded you that because the fights were live from Macau, China, you’d have to wake up at 9 a.m. ET to watch said card, I’m willing to bet we would have had a pretty vacant liveblog this morning. It isn’t often that a card with so many decisions is worth waking up early for, but UFC on FUEL 6 proved to be an exception.

Expectations weren’t exactly high for the evening’s main event, a middleweight contest between Rich Franklin and Cung Le. With neither fighter in the title picture – or even near it – and forty year old Cung Le bloodletting his foot just one week before the fight, this fight had a very high bust-potential. Most of us assumed that Ace would exit the cage with his first victory at middleweight since 2008, and that we wouldn’t be missing much if we started our afternoon nap a little early.

Instead, Cung Le gave us a Knockout of the Year candidate, countering a leg kick with a devastating right hand that secured the victory just 2:17 into the fight. Being the only knockout on the card, Le took home the $40k Knockout of the Night award, but even if every other fight ended in a knockout it’d be hard not to award such a brutal finish the honor. If you happened to miss it, here it is in all of its animated GIF glory:

(Unfortunately, Bruce Lee’s ghost suffered a knee injury in training and will be unable to float above the fighters tonight. Hey, that’s why they say “card subject to change.” / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com. For more photos from this set, click here.)

It’s Saturday night in Macau, the special administrative region that never sleeps. While us North Americans are pouring cereal and rubbing crust out of our eyes, the UFC’s first-ever show in China is already in full swing at the CotaiArena. In the main event, a couple of middleweight battle-axes named Rich Franklin and Cung Le will be slugging it out, refusing to go gently into middle age. Supporting them on the main card is an array of international matchups, including Thiago Silva vs. Stanislav Nedkov, Dong Hyun Kim vs. Paulo Thiago, and Takanori Gomi vs. Mac Danzig.

Handling liveblog duties for us this morning is Jim Genia, who will be stacking round-by-round results from the UFC on FUEL 6 main card broadcast after the jump, beginning at 9 a.m. ET / 6 a.m. PT. Refresh the page for all the latest, and let your voice be heard in the comments section. Thanks for being here, guys. We can all take naps later.

(RagePotato: Using the sleekest technology possible to combine MMA and stupid internet trends since 2007.) 

Not many of us expected Brazilian up-and-comer Charles “do Bronx” Oliveira to absolutely manhandle TUF 12 winner Jonathan Brookins in the fashion he did at the TUF 15 Finale. Sure, Brookins’ head movement and general striking stance most closely resembles a Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em robot when his block has been knocked off, but Oliveira’s performance, which improved his featherweight record to 2-0, was truly a coming out party for a fighter who already had a considerable amount of hype behind him. Given the circumstances, it’s all the more appropriate (not to mention exciting) that Oliveira has been booked to take on fellow ever-rising featherweight Cub Swanson at UFC 152, which goes down on September 22nd at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Canada. Swanson has looked nothing short of spectacular lately, blistering George Roop and Ross Pearson in consecutive bouts at UFC on FOX 2 and UFC on FX 4.

After falling to the secret death-touch taught to Demian Maia by Sensei Seagal at UFC 148, Dong Hyun Kim is set to return to action against the always dangerous but struggling Paulo Thiago at UFC on FUEL 6, which will make for the UFC’s first ever trip to China on November 10th from the Cotai Arena in Cotai, Macau. Thiago last performed a dead-on impression of a cadaver in his bout with Siyar Bahadurzada at UFC on FUEL 2 (his first career loss via KO) and has dropped three of his last four bouts, so look for him to try and end things impressively against Kim because his career may be on the line.

And in heavyweight booking news…

(Needing to decide upon his future in the UFC, Swick galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out his rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, he realized what had to be done.)

To quote David After Dentist, “Is this real life?”

Outdated reference? Sure, but to give you some perspective, the last time anyone saw UFC welterweight Mike Swick in action, that little SOB’s anesthesia adventure was the biggest Youtube sensation going. It has really been that long.

But it seems the man known as “Quick” will finally step back into the octagon before his mid-life crisis hits him, as he has been scheduled to take on TUF 9 alum Damarques “Darkness” Johnson at UFC on FOX 4, which goes down at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on August 4th.

(Apparently Lesnar was the only one who wasn’t a fan of Anderson Silva’s nude pictorial.) 

Adhering to its usual formula and taking a look back at the locker room footage from the previous event, the newest edition of UFC President Dana White’s infamous vlog features an up close and personal look at the poor bastards who came up short at UFC on FUEL: Gustafsson vs. Silva. And Brian Stann. He’s simply too nice to not be around at all times.

After DW’s regular introduction, we are treated to the woeful words of Damacio Page, Damarques Johnson, and Thiago Silva, who all insist that they are “fine.” We know what that really means. But worse than “The Angel of Death,” worse even than “Darkness,” is the silent sorrow of Paulo Thiago, who stares on in disbelief when re-watching the final moments of his first round KO loss to Siyar Bahadurzada. Thiago has now lost three of his last four UFC contests, despite having the most badass day job of any UFC fighter ever. Chin up, Paulo, we know you’ll be back with a vengeance.

Check out the video after the jump. 

(Hopefully this one goes the distance for the fans.)

According to a report by Swedish MMA site MMANYTT.se, a welterweight clash between Golden Glory standout Siyar Bahadurzada and Paulo Thiago has been added to Zuffa’s first Swedish event, UFC on Fuel 2 April 14 at Ericsson Globe Arena in Stockholm.

(All of these fighters have been ordered to wear sumo suits over the holidays.)

Well, it’s looking like UFC 142 may give a few of Zuffa’s most injury-plagued cards a run for their money.

According to various reports, the current body count stands at four as as many fighters have pulled out of the event for various reasons.

As a result the UFC is now scrambling to find replacements for Paulo Thiago (injury), Rob Broughton (injury), Siyar Bahadurzada (injury) and Stanislav Nedkov (visa issue) to face their respective former opponents Mike Pyle, Edinaldo Oliveira, Erick Silva and Fabio Maldonado.

Tatame first reported the news today of Thiago’s elbow injury, while the UFC tweeted that Broughton, Nedkov and and Bahadurzada were all off the card due to unnamed afflictions. Conflicting reports have since surfaced stating that Nedkov had issues securing a work visa for the January 14 show in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

If replacements can’t be found, one or maybe two of the bouts in question could be salvaged, but with six scratches, the card would take the final slot in the five most cursed cards in UFC history.

Check out the top four after the jump.

(I guess it’s true what they say; life imitates art.) 

It has recently been reported that a welterweight contest between Paulo Thiago and Mike Pyle has been added to the rapidly awesoming UFC 142 card, which goes down January 14th in Rio. Thiago, a Brazilian superhero of sorts, last competed in the UFC’s return to Brazil at UFC 134, notching a unanimous decision victory over David Mitchell. It was Thiago’s first win in his past three contests, so a win over Pyle is likely necessary if he wants to keep his job that doesn’t involve Brazilian gangs, which, according to this one documentary I saw, are fucking terrifying. Pyle, on the other hand, just saw a three fight win streak (one that included an upset win over British prospect John Hathaway) snapped at the hands of Canadian wrecking machine Rory MacDonald.

(Someone is coming out of this fight with new war wounds.)

It looks like Diego Sanchez broke his promise and will be staying at welterweight, at least for the time being.

Sanchez will take on Martin Kampmann in the main event on March 3 on the next UFC on Versus card. CagePotato.com was able to confirm the initial report with sources close to the fight who indicated that bout agreements have been received and they are in the process of signing.

Coming off of a decisive unanimous decision victory over Paulo Thiago at UFC 121 in October, Sanchez, who alongside Forrest Griffin was one of the two winners of the first season of The Ultimate Fighter as a middleweight, dropped down to lightweight in 2009. After running through the division and securing a title shot against then-champion, BJ Penn, Sanchez was dominated for five rounds by "The Prodigy" before being stopped via a cut at the midway point of the final frame.

After the bout, Sanchez decided that a move up to welterweight would likely be a more expedient route to a second shot at UFC gold considering the lineup forming behind Penn, so he took a tune-up fight against up-and-coming undefeated Brit, John Hathaway. The fight proved to be tougher than Sanchez anticipated as he was handed a loss by "The Hitman" who threw a wrench into his welterweight plans.

Now "The Nightmare" will have to avoid the crosshairs of another "Hitman" looking to climb the welterweight ranks by beating him.

(The greatest exchange of the entire event, from round two of Sanchez vs. Thiago. You’ll have to provide your own "aaaaahhhhhhh!!!" Props: CampizonE MMA)

(Brock Lesnar doesn’t need police protection, bitch. Props: Caposa)

(Your Brazilian SWAT training is no match for the power of positive thinking, Paulo. PicProps: UFC.com)

Mostly by virtue of the hype surrounding the main event, UFC 121 succeeded in preserving the aura of a big time fight show despite the fact that many of the bouts were … what’s the nice way to say this … terribly boring. Even still, a bunch of stuff happened that we need to mention: Jake Shields pretty much proved that it’s physically fucking impossible for top fighters from other organizations to look good in their UFC debuts.  Diego Sanchez defeated Paulo Thiago using the sheer supremacy of his personality. Gabriel Gonzaga showed that he’d be better off climbing to the top of a half-finished construction site and tossing barrels down at his opponents than try to strike with them. Tito Ortiz looked done like dinner, thus taking the next ironic step in his journey toward becoming – as we suggested on last week’s Bum Rush – the new Ken Shamrock.

Was it thrilling? Nah, but the ultimate crumbling of Casa de Lesnar made up for all of it. Shoot, it even reduced Dave Camarillo to tears. What more do you want?

(Above: "Look, everybody in Minnesota grows a beard in the winter, and most of us use deer urine to keep it soft and shiny. I’m sorry if the smell is unfamiliar to you." Below: It’s nice to see that someone else appreciates the long and brave career of Dana Delany. / Photos courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

With Brock Lesnar gunning for a historic third-consecutive heavyweight title defense against Mexican-American upstart Cain Velasquez, belt-collector Jake Shields making his first appearance in the Octagon, and Tito Ortiz possibly making his last appearance in the Octagon, there’s a lot on the line tonight in Anaheim. Round-by-round results from UFC 121 can be found after the jump, starting with the Spike prelims at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all latest, and please let your voice be heard in the comments section.

("BJ Penn’s not the lightweight champion anymore? You’re *sure*? How sure are you?")

After getting completely handled by John Hathaway in his welterweight return at UFC 114, we were a little surprised to learn Diego Sanchez would be giving 170 another shot against Paulo Thiago, an opponent who’s arguably even more dangerous than Hathaway. Who knows what’s going on in that crazy mind of his from day to day, but we do know that the Nightmare vows to drop back to lightweight after Saturday. As he told UFC.com:

"…just for the record, I do plan on dropping back to 155 after this fight. Me and Greg (Jackson) and the team are just gonna work together and see what (UFC matchmaker) Joe (Silva) can get lined up for me…For now I think [the move is] basically gonna be permanent, but that all depends because I feel like I can fight in both weight classes. There’s 125, 135, 145, 155 — I wish we had a 165 and a 175 (pound division). That would make it a lot easier for me because I could fight 165, but we don’t have that yet and I’ve got to make a decision.

(Video courtesy YouTube/WandFightTeam)

For the past several months fellow Brazilians have been rallying for Murilo "Ninja" Rua to be added to the UFC’s 185-pound roster.

Wanderlei Silva posted a video blog on YouTube last week asking UFC president, Dana White to sign the former PRIDE star to the organization.

Besides "The Axe Murderer," Ninja’s younger brother, UFC light heavyweight champion, Mauricio "Shogun" Rua as well as welterweight contender Paulo Thiago also appeared in the clip to express their support for Murilo, who is undefeated in his last four outings, being brought into the UFC’s middleweight mix.

Speaking with TATAME this week, Ninja says that the ultimate goal would be to join friends like Wand and Shogun in the UFC, but he isn’t banking on it happening without him proving that he deserves it.

“I see it from a positive perspective, but I’m fighting and doing my job. If one day I’ll fight for the UFC it’ll only be a consequence. I’ll wait and it’ll come," Rua explained. “[The UFC's middleweight division] is a great division; there are great fighters, it’s really hard, but I’ll try to be on my best to go for the belt. That’s my dream, my goal, and I want to deserve it. On the right time, I’ll join the UFC’s cast."

 
(Greg Jackson is once again in control of Diego’s leash.)

Either hell has frozen over or Diego Sanchez has finally realized that all of the stevia and "yes" cartwheels in the world aren’t going to replace top-tier trainers and training partners.

"The Nightmare" has apparently rejoined his  teammates at  Jackson’s MMA after a nearly three year absence from the gym he began training at as a teenager.

Here’s the announcement he tweeted this morning:

(Corn’s in season? YES! YES! YES!)

According to  a report by pennyjomma.com, Diego Sanchez will remain at welterweight and will square off against dangerous Brazilian Paulo Thiago at UFC 121 October 23 in Anaheim, California.

Sanchez confirmed the fight with the website via text message:

"Lol it’s top secret jk !!! all you girls need to know is I’m fighting Paulo thiago oct 23 at 121. I am giving everything I have in the training camp this time around, I will show my fans and ufc that that last fight I was only performing at 70 % with no one to blame but myself. I have found my focus again I am excpecting [sic] a war. Luv you two awesome fans!"

As the saying goes, "Men make MMA predictions and God laughs." With that in mind, let’s revisit some of the most classic blunders in CP history, in chronological order. Good thing we’re completely unaccountable for the things we say here!

From: "Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 84 Edition" (The very first installment of the G.A.E.)
BG said: "Look, we know the Axe Murderer was a killer in PRIDE — but he needs to win a couple in the Octagon to convince me that he’s just as fearsome over here. Take away the use of soccer kicks and knees to the head on the ground, biased refs and judges, matchmaking that had him go up against opponents that were tailor-made for his style, (*cough*steroids*cough*), and the confidence that comes from never losing, and we’re not even talking about the same guy anymore. Silva won’t be doing any axe-murdering at UFC 84 — he’s going to be fighting not to lose, and will come out a much more cautious, tentative version of himself. Meanwhile, Jardine is surely working on another great game-plan with Greg Jackson, knowing that if he pulls off another big win his title shot will be waiting."
What happened: Wanderlei Silva via KO (rape choke), 0:36 of round 1. LOL @ Jardine’s "title shot."

From: "UFC 85: Bedlam — Ipecac Rematch Picks" (this article seems to have disappeared from the Internet; you can check out a screen-shot from my Google Reader here, and a little bit of backstory here.)
BG said: "Matt Hughes may be on the decline, and Thiago Alves is definitely on the come-up, but they haven’t passed each other yet, so to speak. Though Alves caught Karo Parisyan at UFC Fight Night 13, he’s failed in previous big tests against Spencer Fisher and Jon Fitch. Hughes may have trouble with Alves’s striking and youthful energy, and a submission victory is unlikely, but I can see the future Hall of Famer dominating the young challenger with his wrestling and grinding out a decision."
What happened: Matt Hughes got utterly ruined by the Pitbull’s striking and youthful energy; Alves via TKO, 1:02 of round 2. I lost bragging rights to Fightlinker, as well as the entire contents of my stomach.

Buncha savages in this town. Props to MMA TKO and MiddleEasy.

("See? I am friend. Now get in van, please." Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Four months after he put Mike Swick to sleep at UFC 109 — thereby going up 2-1 in his one-man assault on the American Kickboxing Academy — welterweight rising star Paulo Thiago will step into the cage at UFC 115 (June 12th, tentatively in Vancouver) against highly regarded contender Martin Kampmann. "The Hitman" is coming off a first-round submission victory over Jacob Volkmann in January, and was slated to take on Ben Saunders at UFC 111, but lost a large piece of his face during training. Coincidentally, Thiago also holds a win over Volkmann, who has been absolutely thrown to the wolves during his brief time with the UFC. (FYI, "Christmas" Volkmann will have his win-or-GTFO match against Ronnys Torres at UFC Fight Night: Florian vs. Gomi on March 31st.)

UFC 115 will be headlined by Chuck Liddell vs. Tito Ortiz, and is expected to feature Mirko Cro Cop vs. Pat Barry, Ben Rothwell vs. Gilbert Yvel, Tyson Griffin vs. Evan Dunham, and Mac Danzig continuing his slow road back to contendership against Matt Wiman.

(Chael Sonnen explains that it’s the Ultimate *Fighting* Championship, not the Ultimate Mitt-Hitting, High-Altitude Training, Flipping a Tire Around, Screaming the Word "Yes" Championship. Props: MMA Fighting)

Following an expectation-exceeding night of action at UFC 109, the UFC handed out $60,000 pay-bumps to the following competitors:

Fight of the Night: Chael Sonnen and Nate Marquardt, for their bloody 15-minute grind, in which Sonnen survived a nasty choke attempt in the third round to secure the decision victory and earn a middleweight title shot.

Knockout of the Night: Matt Serra, for beating down Frank Trigg and proving that his hands are always dangerous, even if they’re on the end of very short arms.

Submission of the Night: Paulo Thiago, for putting Mike Swick to sleep with a D’Arce choke after knocking him to the mat in the second round of their fight. Thiago: 2, AKA: 1.

In other news…

If you’re waiting until the last minute to make your FightPicker picks for UFC 109, either because you’re the kind of sad sack who always waits until the last minute with everything, or simply because you’d rather compete in a pool against such sad sacks, you should see this first.  It’s a clip from the UFC’s most recent "Countdown" show, in which we see Paulo Thiago at work in his BOPE unit.  Like the nice man in the beret says at the 0:50 mark, "When society needs help, they call police.  When police needs help, they call BOPE."  In other words, BOPE takes no shit off nobody.  Just look at their crazy logo if you don’t believe us.

The awesomeness of all this was not lost on Mike Swick, who wrote on his Twitter: "I have to admit, his segment was badass!  I’m in the gym with blondie and Fitch and he’s rapelling out of Helos with an M4.  Damn you Thiago!"

Just something to think about if you’re caught between picking Swick or Thiago and can’t decide.  One of those fighters has been in the kind of critical situations that "hardens a man’s spirit," while the other has to hang out with this freaking guy every day.  Actually, that’s still a tough call. 

(Koscheck’s hair used to be straight before that punch. Nah, just messin’ with you guys. Photo courtesy of Josh Hedges/UFC)

Due to an undisclosed injury, Josh Koscheck has pulled out of his scheduled rematch with Paulo Thiago at UFC 109 (February 6th, Las Vegas). Koscheck confirmed the news on Twitter, writing "I will be good to go back to training in a couple weeks I hope!!…It’s all good & I’ll get my body rested & back to the top real soon." Koscheck and Thiago previously met at UFC 95 in February, where Thiago pulled off a shock upset via first-round KO. Since then, the Brazilian supercop has dropped a decision to Jon Fitch and won a decision over Jacob Volkmann.

Luckily, he didn’t have to wait long for a replacement opponent. According to MMA Fighting, Koscheck’s teammate Mike Swick has already stepped up to face Thiago. Swick is coming off his unanimous decision loss to Dan Hardy, which was his first defeat at welterweight. This will be the third American Kickboxing Academy fighter that Thiago will throw down with. So, the AKA guys know him well, but he knows them too, and they know he knows, dig? UFC 109′s lineup is after the jump. Let’s hope this isn’t the beginning of another curse…

(‘Have I won yet?’ Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Despite his belief that he is the "number one freaking contender" in the UFC’s welterweight division, Josh Koscheck is going to have to wait until Georges St. Pierre and Dan Hardy do their thing in March before he’ll get a chance to act on it.  Koscheck wants to fight once a month in 2010, so odds are he’s not going to be content with just sitting around and working on his memoir (tentatively titled, What Are You Looking At, Geek?) until then.  In the meantime, a rematch between Koscheck and Brazilian police commando Paulo Thiago seems to be in the works for UFC 109 in February. 

It makes sense.  The first time they met Kos seemed to be in control until a surprise uppercut from Thiago floored him, leaving him complaining about an early stoppage and thus generating our very own ‘WTF is your problem?’ rule.  Thiago looked competent, though not spectacular against Jacob "Christmas" Volkmann at UFC 106, so why not see if his win over Koscheck was just a beautiful fluke?  Of course, this isn’t without its risks for our bleached blonde friend.

(Paulo Thiago commits a major Brazilian faux pas by wearing red after Carnival.)

It’s like that old saying, God never closes a door without opening a window so someone else can sneak inside and steal all your jewelry.  In the case of the UFC 106 main card, Karo Parisyan seems to have closed that door all by himself, and now the window is wide open for Paulo Thiago and Jacob Volkmann, whose fight has just been bumped to the televised portion of the pay-per-view. 

As you’ll no doubt recall, Thiago was originally supposed to face Thiago Alves in the most confusing match-up of names since Gegard Mousasi fought Musashi, but after some reshuffling he ended up getting the Octagon rookie Volkmann.  Just yesterday they were still relegated to the dark portion of this card, but as things continued to fall apart around UFC 106 the outlook got brighter.  Now the entire paying world will get to see them square off, with the pay-per-view broadcast currently looking like this:

(He knew that if he lost to a guy with a bleached-blonde ‘fro all the murderers and crooks back home would never let him live it down.)

One of the genuinely interesting fights that’s being largely overshadowed by all the epic-ness on the UFC 100 fight card is the Jon Fitch/Paulo Thiago Battle for the Honor of the American Kickboxing Academy.  Or, if you prefer, you can think of it as our opportunity to find out whether Thiago is for real, or just a guy who landed one lucky punch on Josh Koscheck.  Either way, the fun story on Thiago is his day job as a BOPE officer in Brazil, which is basically a special forces police unit with the coveted title of “deadliest military force in Latin America.”  

Here’s what Thiago had to say about his work to Fighters Only:

“I live through ordinary situations for a person who chose such an occupation,” Thiago shrugs when asked about his day job. “We pray for action like shooting or whatever. I cannot use the aggressiveness like in MMA but I had to submit and strike many times during my job. I don’t like to hurt people but I had to fight them.”

(And here’s where things took a turn down Queer Street, which is located dangerously close to TKO Way.)

Josh Koscheck commented on his somewhat controversial upset loss at UFC 95 on his website, and – surprise! – he argues that the ref should have let it go on a little longer.  To his credit, however, Koscheck doesn’t lay the blame for the loss at the ref’s doorstep.  Instead he puts it squarely on his shoulders, right where it belongs:

As for UFC 95. . . YES, I would have liked to see the ref let the fight go on a little bit more because we are all fighters and we fight until the end. Yes, I got hit hard, but felt as though I could have recovered if I had the chance. As for next time, my message to all the ref’s would be to, please let the fight go until I’m put out to sleep. . . Just so I don’t have the thought of what if, going through my mind and probably the minds of all of you, my fans.

…I could be like a lot of other people and cry about it for weeks and months and make a big deal about it, but it’s now when the true character and discipline of a person is tested.

Then he goes on to quote Martin Luther King Jr. and apply it to his current situation, that of having lost a fight he was supposed to win.  Nice.

(Props: Smoogy on the UG)

Josh Koscheck’s TKO loss has been the subject of a lot of debate on the old internets for the past couple of days.  Some people think the stoppage was too fast, not giving Koscheck the chance to recover and defend himself.  One of those people, obviously, is Koscheck himself (side note: man, give that camera man credit for going into a tense locker room, hearing that rant, and then having the balls to ask, very simply, “Do you think he should have stopped it?”), but the fact is he’s wrong, and so is everyone arguing his side in this case.

Here’s how you know your fight was stopped early: you can immediately look into the ref’s face as he moves in to stop the bout and say, ‘What the fuck is your problem?’  If you can do that, preferably without slurring or attempting to rise and then falling back down, then you have a legitimate gripe.  I like to call this the ‘What the fuck is your problem?’ rule.  

If you can’t say ‘What the fuck is your problem?’ (other acceptable variations include: ‘What the fuck are you doing?’, ‘That’s fucking bullshit!’, and ‘Mazzagatti, you asshole!’) immediately after the stoppage, then the ref had reason enough to stop the fight.  

(Photo courtesy of SI.com)

Another UFC event is in the books, which means it’s time again to see who’s up and who’s down according to the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system.  It’s kind of like Bob Reilly’s poll, only we admit it’s total bullshit.  And at least this particular brand of bullshit is more fun.

Diego Sanchez +123

“The Nightmare” proved he can cut almost forty pounds and still go three rounds at a steady pace.  That could be bad news for some other lightweight contenders, though it would still be interesting to see how he stacks up against one of the better wrestlers in the division.  Sean Sherk’s not too busy, is he?

Joe Stevenson -88

Another disappointing performance for Stevenson leaves us wondering where he can possibly go from here.  He just doesn’t seem to have enough in his toolbox to hang with the top fighters, and secluding himself in Victorville, which is not known for its elite training facilities, certainly isn’t helping.

Demian Maia +204

If you’re going to do only one thing, you’d better do it extremely well, and Maia does.  He forces another quality opponent to fight on his terms and puts him away with impressive ease.  Is there any middleweight not named Anderson Silva who can pose a significant threat to him at this point?

(Props: MMA Scraps)

Diego Sanchez engages in a kickboxing bout, while Joe Stevenson fights a boxing match.  When that happens, you can usually guess who’s going to win.  A strong debut at lightweight for Sanchez.  As for Stevenson, instead of considering your own drop in weight, as you may be tempted to, how about getting with a good camp and learning some new tricks?

More videos, including Maia-Sonnen, Koscheck-Thiago, and more are after the jump.

("Look, I’m not saying you have to touch your foreheads together like some of the other guys, but you have to understand how retarded this looks right now." Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

Like the light from a distant star that died out millions of years before it can be seen from Earth, here we are about to watch the transmission of a UFC event that already happened, hours away and across an ocean. If you were able to avoid spoilers up until this point, pat yourself on the back. And I’d just like to take this opportunity to warn you that if you want to keep this experience totally pure, maybe stay away from the comments section for a while, because there’s always gonna be some sad loser who takes perverted joy in ruining things for the rest of us, when they’re not masturbating in their own feces. (No offense to "COOL!" or the guy currently pretending to be "Kadumel." You seem like a couple of interesting dudes and I’d love to get a beer and a burger with you sometime. Please get in touch with me here.)

Live Tape-delayed results and commentary for UFC 95 are after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes to see all the latest…