(An excerpt from Urijah Faber’s Optical Panacea poster. Click the image to see the full-size extended version.)

By Ben Goldstein

From the very beginning of his career, Urijah Faber understood that he could be so much more than just a guy throwing punches in a cage. The California Kid bought his own gym in 2006, and went on to build one of the most successful fight teams in the sport. He’s partnered up with apparel brands ranging from K-Swiss to Torque. He’s written a book. And he’s been the entrepreneurial driving force behind a number of forward-thinking enterprises, including MMADraft.com — a site he launched with Phil Davis that seeks to find better opportunities and wider attention for amateur fighters — and Optical Panacea, a new company that elevates MMA fighter posters into fine art.

With Faber awaiting his next fight-assignement from the UFC, we spent some time on the phone with him yesterday to discuss all of the projects that will keep him hustling this summer, from the first-ever MMA Combine that will take place at the next UFC Fan Expo on July 6th, to the public launch party for Optical Panacea that will be going down next Friday in Las Vegas. (Be there!) Enjoy, and be sure to follow Urijah on Twitter @UrijahFaber.

CAGEPOTATO.COM: It’s been a month since your submission win over Scott Jorgensen at the TUF 17 Finale. Has the UFC given you any word on when they want you to return, or offered you your next opponent?

URIJAH FABER: I haven’t heard anything. I’ve kind of been on vacation, but I’m looking forward to continuing training and doing big things.

CAGEPOTATO.COM: Duane Ludwig has been getting a lot of attention lately for his work as the head coach at Team Alpha Male. Is there one thing he’s specifically told you or taught you that’s helped to improve your game?

URIJAH FABER: I think one thing in particular is that we’ve been doing a lot of drilling. As wrestlers, we’ve all drilled a lot with our wrestling techniques, and now we’re bringing that into the other avenues as well. Duane’s got some awesome drills, and he has a great system down — the Duane Bang Muay Thai system — that we’re all learning. I was definitely able to incorporate a little bit of that into my standup [in my last fight], and it’s only going to get better.

CAGEPOTATO.COM: Tell me a little about the MMA Combine for amateur fighters that you and Phil Davis are hosting at the next UFC Fan Expo in July. How close will this be to something like the NFL Scouting Combine, and what are some of the testing criteria that will be specific to MMA?

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

If there’s anything positive for Alan Belcher to take away from his loss to Michael Bisping in the co-main event of last night’s UFC 159, it’s that he was right about Bisping being unable to knock him out. Bisping had plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the fight, yet Belcher was too resilient of an opponent. Unfortunately, that’s right about where the positive notes end. Bisping not only outstruck Belcher by a considerable margin throughout their fight, but also avoided all of Belcher’s takedowns. Simply put, Belcher didn’t have any answers for Bisping’s jab-n-jog offense.

And then there was the eye poke that ended up stopping the fight, awarding Michael Bisping the technical decision victory. It was a disappointing way to end an otherwise decent scrap – especially considering Belcher’s previous troubles with that eye. Fortunately, Belcher has since tweeted that he is doing okay.

Perhaps the strangest thing about the eye poke is that this fight wasn’t the only bout on the card to end in technical decision due to an eye poke. Earlier in the evening, the light heavyweight bout between Ovince St. Preux and Gian Villante also ended when St. Preux inadvertently poked Villante in the eye. St. Preaux walked away with a technical majority decision victory. Kind of makes a case for changing the design of MMA gloves.

Elsewhere on the card…

(Good. Now that Chael knows what it feels like to make contact with Jon Jones, let’s get this execution over with. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

There’s not much to say about Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen at this point, other than the fact that Jones will be tying Tito Ortiz’s record for light-heavyweight title defenses (5) tonight, and Danga has already written Chael’s retirement rap. Luckily, UFC 159 features some legitimate fights as well, from Jim Miller meeting his taller, skinner doppelganger, to Roy Nelson meeting his polar opposite. Plus: Michael Bisping faces off against some retard from Mississippi (his words, not ours!), and Vinny Magalhaes tangles with Phil Davis.

Handling liveblog duties for this evening is Alex Giardini, who will be delivering round-by-round results from the “Jones vs. Sonnen” main card after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know what’s on your mind in the comments section.

(Damn, a Penn State alum *and* a blue belt under Lloyd Irvin? This is not looking good, Phil…) 

I’m no The Mentalist (although I often get confused for him on the street. YOU DON’T KNOW.), but I always saw light heavyweight contender Phil Davis as a kind of introverted, dare I say “nerdy” guy who happens to be a freakishly gifted athlete. Despite the fact that he, you know, chokes dudes unconscious for a living, “Mr. Wonderful” always came off (to me, at least) as a guy who was ultimately harmless when he wasn’t locked in a cage with a dude trying to beat him within an inch of his life.

Well once again, it appears that I don’t know shit about shit. Just one day out from his UFC 159 battle with Vinny Magalhaes, Davis not only finds himself in the middle of a custody battle over his child, but refuting allegations of “crazy brutality, including violent sex” that said child’s mother believes stemmed from his martial arts career. TMZ reports:

According to legal docs — obtained by TMZ — Vantris Patterson claims Davis body slammed her on a couch with such force … when the couch slid into the wall paint came off. And Patterson says, Davis — aka Mr. Wonderful — would often choke her during intercourse, and when she’d plead with him to stop he’d respond, “Shut the f*** up, bitch.” She says Davis has threatened to kill her numerous times if she ever slept with another man.

Now here’s the hook — Patterson claims Davis’ alleged propensity for violence has escalated because of his involvement in the UFC.  She says, “I am afraid that the numerous fights have negatively impacted his mental stability,” and she can’t defend herself because of his “increased strength and attacking ability.”

And if you think that’s crazy, just wait until you hear the allegations Davis lobbed back at Patterson in response…

(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.

Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?

BG: I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.

I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.

JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.

And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:

(Above: “Grrrrrr.” / Below: “Haaaaaay!”)

After coming up short in his title challenge against Ben Henderson last month, UFC lightweight Nate Diaz will be returning to the Octagon at UFC on Fox 7: Henderson vs. Melendez (April 20th, San Jose), where he’ll face former Strikeforce champ Josh Thomson; CSNBayArea broke the news yesterday.

Thomson hasn’t competed in the UFC since his 2-1 stint for the promotion in 2003-2004, which ended in an unfortunate/incredible highlight-reel knockout against Yves Edwards. Since then, “The Punk” has spent most of his career fighting for Strikeforce, where he built an entertaining rivalry against Diaz’s training partner (and UFC on FOX 7 title challenger) Gilbert Melendez. Thomson briefly held Strikeforce’s lightweight title after winning a decision against Melendez in June 2008, and has picked up wins over Pat Healy, Gesias Cavalcante, and KJ Noons since then. His most recent appearance resulted in a split-decision loss to Melendez during their rubber-match last May.

Of course, the other thing Thomson is known for is his frequent injuries, and there’s a lot that can go wrong between now and 4/20. Let’s hope this one sticks together. In related news, the UFC has added three big matchups to their UFC 159: Jones vs. Sonnen card, which takes place the following weekend (April 27th) in Newark, NJ…

If you were to ask someone like Tim Kennedy why so many fighters have been pulling out of their scheduled fights due to injury this year, he would likely tell you that more often than not, they were faking it. And while he would have at least one case to cite as an example, we’d still like to believe that 90% of the fighters who have gone down with injuries recently were being honest with us. Still, even BG was suspicious when Forrest Griffin withdrew from his UFC 155 contest with Phil Davis, because let’s be honest, it was a terrible matchup for him to begin with. FoGriff has repeatedly stated over the past year or so that his retirement from the sport was looming on the horizon, so one would imagine that he’d like to go out on a win, or at least a fight he saw as winnable heading into it.

Well, you’ll be happy (and disgusted) to know that Griffin wasn’t faking anything, unless by faking, you mean “intentionally taking a sledgehammer to his knee until he passed out from the pain.” Because if the above photo that Forrest tweeted on Christmas is indeed legitimate (and we’re not sure how it couldn’t be), then there is no way in hell he could have possibly faked the gruesome MCL and ACL injury he suffered in training.

(I mean, seriously. Y’know?)

The UFC Injury Curse of 2012 has another big-name trophy to hang on its wall — Forrest Griffin, who will miss his UFC 155 main card match against Phil Davis on December 29th due to a wrecked knee. UFC president Dana White passes along the sad (but at this point completely unsurprising) news:

Forrest Has MCL tear and ACL strain. 20 cc’s of blood removed from his knee and the saga continues at the UFC!!

No word yet on whether Davis will be getting a replacement opponent at the “Dos Santos vs. Velasquez II” event, or if he’ll be pulled from the lineup. Keep in mind that Davis was himself a replacement for Chael Sonnen, who ditched his matchup against Forrest when his TUF 17 coaching opportunity came up.

We’ll update you when we hear more.

(Props: AXS TV Fights)

It seemed like a foregone conclusion that Quinton “Rampage” Jackson would fight new light-heavyweight hotness Glover Teixeira for his UFC farewell bout. Unfortunately, Teixeira’s medical suspension could delay the meeting even further, as the Brazilian slugger may have injured his right hand and elbow while breaking his arm off in Fabio Maldonado’s ass at UFC 153.

In this clip from Inside MMA, Bas Rutten drops the bad news on Jackson, who explains that he’d rather not wait six more months to get back in the cage…so what’s Forrest Griffin up to these days, anyway? When Bas is informed that Griffin vs. Phil Davis has already been booked, it’s tantrum time for Quinton:

“That’s gonna be a boring fight! No disrespect to anybody, but that’s gonna be a boring fight, I’m sorry…This is why I’m leaving the UFC. I don’t understand what Joe Silva’s doing. Joe Silva have a complex, something’s wrong with him. The guy can’t match *shoes*. What kind of matchmaker is this guy? What is he thinking? Give me Forrest. Everybody wants that, that would sell, everybody wants to see me and Forrest fight again. Everybody keeps talking about it.“

(We’ll give you an A for effort, Rashad, but we don’t think you have the..ahem… skin tone to pull off Sloth from The Goonies this Halloween.) 

For those of you who were hoping to see Rashad Evans test the waters at middleweight, it looks like you’ll have to keep waiting, because it has been reported by the Brazilian outlet SporTV that Evans will be facing off against Antonio Rogerio Nogueria at a TBD event planned for Super Bowl weekend in Las Vegas.

Prior to his failed light heavyweight title bid at UFC 145, the TUF 2 winner scored big victories over Phil Davis — who trounced Nogueira back at Ultimate Fight Night 24 — and Tito Ortiz — who was defeated by Lil’ Nog in December of last year. Following hsi win over Ortiz, Nogueira recently called out Forrest Griffin — who lost his title to Evans at UFC 92 and defeated Ortiz in his last appearance — but was beat out for the spot by the last man to defeat him: Phil Davis. So according to MMA math…I’m illiterate.

(It’s good to see that someone finally gave Starvin Marvin something to eat.) 

According to a tweet sent out by UFC Brazil, light heavyweight grappling whiz Phil Davis will be the man to replace Chael Sonnen against Forrest Griffin at UFC 155. When Sonnen passed over Griffin for a TUF coaching gig and light heavyweight title shot against Jon Jones, everyone from Stephan Bonnar to Antonio Rogerio Nogueira were being rumored as potential opponents for Griffin, who is coming off a unanimous decision victory over longtime rival Tito Ortiz in their trilogy match at UFC 148.

After coming up short in a tedious affair against Rashad Evans in the headlining match of UFC on FOX 2, Davis was looking to rebound against Wagner Prado at UFC on FOX 4, but an unfortunate eye poke resulted in an unsatisfying no-contest being declared. Davis and Prado met again at UFC 153, where Davis was able to secure a brilliant second round submission via anaconda choke victory. It was the same submission Davis used to defeat top light heavyweight prospect Alexander Gustafsson back at UFC 112 in April of 2010. If you’re keeping track, the current record for fighters who were the victims of a fight-ending eye poke in immediate rematches is now 1-3 (Scott Smith, Waachiim Spiritwolf, and Prado all came up short, with only Anthony Johnson managing to earn some revenge).

Props: mmafanmade.tumblr.com

By George Shunick

If there’s a word that sums up UFC 153, it’s got to be “wow”. Anderson Silva gave another performance indicating that we do indeed live in the Matrix. Jon Fitch was in the most exciting fight of the night, and one of the best of the year. Big Nog submitted a man impervious to jiu-jitsu. Demian Maia choked/neck-cranked a man so hard he had a mini-hemorrhage and blood spurted out of his nose. And perhaps most impressive of all, Wagner Prado actually stopped a hat thief.

The bottom line is UFC 153 was an amazing card that delivered from top to bottom. Could it have been better if it had Frankie Edgar square off against Jose Aldo? Probably. But I’ll take another transcendental show from Anderson Silva any day of the week. And that’s exactly what his fight with Stephan Bonnar was. After a slip, Bonnar pressed Silva into the cage, presumably looking to wear the smaller fighter down. Silva wasn’t having any of it, offering a few knees, shoulder shrugs and nothing else. Bonnar backed away and then things got weird. Silva remained on the fence, hands down, encouraging Bonnar to hit him.

Now, I know Stephan Bonnar isn’t the world’s greatest striker. He’s never shown serious knockout power, and his technique has never been the best. But he’s still a 230 pound man who’s spent the majority of his adult life learning how to hurt people. He’s a professional fighter. And for about 4 minutes and 40 seconds last night, those facts didn’t amount to jack shit. Silva dodged, deflected or simply absorbed Bonnar’s offense for about two minutes, demonstrating what a black belt in Tae Kwon Do is worth against a man who seems to know what you’re going to do before you do. Then, Silva decided to end the fight. He tripped Bonnar, established some separation, and then connected with a debilitating, pin-point knee to the solar plexus. Bonnar – who had never been stopped with strikes before – collapsed and waited for the end to come. Mercifully, it did.

(How about dropping to your knees and begging for a swift death? Would that work? / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

The matchup between UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva and light-heavyweight non-champion Stephan Bonnar has been called everything from a “fun fight,” to a mother’s worst nightmare. Tonight at the HSBC Center in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, we’re going to find out what this weird freak show will actually look like. Our only prediction is that Griffin Bonnar‘s first image of his father will be a bruised and lumpy one.

Luckily, there are plenty of far-more-legitimate matches on the UFC 153 main card, including Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Dave Herman, Erick Silva vs. Jon Fitch, and Glover Teixiera vs. Fabio Maldonado. And as with previous shows in Brazil, the local fans will make sure that the show is just as entertaining outside of the cage.

Round-by-round results from the UFC 153 pay-per-view broadcast will be stacking up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato liveblogger-supreme Anthony Gannon. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and be sure to tell us how you feel in the comments section. Thanks for stopping by.

Props: MMA Photoshops

In our efforts to give out high fives and bro grabs over how much fun Saturday night’s fights were, we missed the opportunity to give constructive criticism to some of the evening’s lowest moments. We’ll more than likely still miss out on the constructive criticism here, but sometimes there’s just no way to be helpful about something’s ugliness (no matter how hard you try to be). But before we get caught up in the negativity…

The Good:

Vera and Varner Impressive in Defeat. Before Saturday night, both men were expected to be little more than highlight reel fodder for their opponents. After they came up just short in two of the most competitive, entertaining bouts to be broadcast on Fox, it’d be too easy to make comparisons to Rocky. So instead of making one, I’ll just imply it – problem solved. A loss is never easy for either fighter to swallow, but it could have been much uglier.

Mike Swick’s Feel-Good Comeback Fight. Is it even possible not to feel good for Mike Swick? After losing his last two fights and spending over two years away from the sport, things were looking pretty grim for “Quick.” Watching DaMarques Johnson control Swick for the first round certainly didn’t brighten the mood, either. But if you know somebody who wasn’t cheering while Swick flawlessly finished Johnson, that person has no pulse. In fact, that “person” is probably a zombie. Act accordingly.

Maybe there will come a day when MMA fighters appearing and being mentioned by name in ad campaigns for major brands is so common that we won’t feel compelled to mention it but we aren’t there yet. MMA is still so young, so close to the days where it was banned in most states and kept off cable, that, gosh darn it, we get a lil teary eyed anytime we see a fighter like Anderson Silva (Burger King) or Georges St. Pierre (Gatorade) get picked to be a spokesman for for a major brand. That’s good money in their pockets and an indication of MMA knocking on the door to mainstream acceptance each time out.

The latest fighter getting such an opportunity is Mr. Wonderful himself, UFC light heavyweight Phil Davis. Davis, who fights August 4th on the UFC on Fox card in Los Angeles, appears in a new Sprite television commercial, twisting an actor into knots.

(I gotta admit, the man knows how to fill out a singlet.)

Due to an undisclosed injury, Chad Griggs won’t be making his light-heavyweight debut against Phil Davis at UFC on FOX 4 in August, which is probably for the best. (Not trying to hate on you, Grave Digger; it was just a bad matchup, that’s all). Coming in for Davis is an Octagon newcomer who will probably be an even heavier underdog than Griggs would have been — undefeated Team Nogueira product Wagner “Caldeirao” Prado.

Prado’s 8-0 record (seven by KO/TKO) looks good on paper, but his competition has been entry-level at best; his last three opponents had a combined record of 1-4 at the time of their fights. Taking on a world-class fighter in your UFC debut after a couple years spent beating on local yokels is rarely a recipe for success. So, barring any Dos Santos vs. Werdum-caliber world-shocking, Mr. Wonderful should have this one in the bag.

After the jump: The full lineup of UFC on FOX 4, plus two videos of Prado doing work.

(Chad’s the dead guy in the background.)

After getting utterly demolished by the much-larger Travis Browne during his Octagon debut at UFC 145, heavyweight prospect Chad Griggs has decided to drop to 205 pounds for his follow-up UFC appearance. Griggs was only 228 pounds when he hit the scales before his UFC debut — about as heavy as Jon Jones’s walking weight — making this a wise career choice on paper. The question is: Will Chad’s decision turn out to be good, bad, or ugly?

The Grave Digger certainly won’t be getting an easy welcome in his new division. According to MMA Weekly, Griggs will be returning at UFC on FOX 4 (August 4th, Los Angeles) against light-heavyweight contender Phil Davis, who suffered the first loss of his career in a decision against Rashad Evans in January. Before that, Davis had used his wrestling and grappling skills to dominate such tough competition as Brian Stann, Alexander Gustafsson, Tim Boetsch, and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira. In other words, Griggs’s takedown defense had better be airtight if he wants his puncher’s chance to be worth the fist it’s printed on.

UFC on FOX 4 is shaping up to be a real crowd-pleaser; the current lineup is after the jump…

(“Who wants some?”)

When it was announced yesterday that Mike Kyle sustained an injury, forcing him out of his planned Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey main card bout with Gegard Mousasi, speculation arose that Mousasi would likely be scratched from the event. If the UFC brass would sign off on a crossover bout between Gegard and one of its fighters, the fight could be salvaged and Mousasi could get an upgrade opponent in the process.

Check out who we’d like to see step up on three week’s notice to take on “The Dreamcatcher.”

By now, you know the deal when it comes to Dana White’s videoblogs, and today’s “episode” is no different. Taking a behind-the-scenes look at the aftermath of the UFC’s second Fox event, the UFC 143 videoblog contains the familiar mix of upper and downer moments, with an emphasis on the downer. Especially tough to watch is Joey Beltran’s realization that his Zuffa career may have reached a temporary standstill in the wake of his first round KO loss to Lavar Johnson. Keep your chin up, “Mexicutioner.”

Let’s get right to the highlights.

(0:45) - Jon Jones, seen here for the last time before disappearing into a thicket of notes from which he has yet to emerge.

(1:22) – God damn it, will someone give Beltran a hug and tell him that everything is going to be alright?

(1:40) – Eric Wisely, still in awe of the calf-slicer Charles Oliveira was able to pull on him. The pain was apparently so incredible that Wisely has trouble explaining to the backstage physician where exactly the strain was.

(2:48) – Jon Jones explains how Cub Swanson is one of the “nastiest dudes” on Team Jackson. He makes a good point.

(Little did Eric Wisely know just how quickly a game of Twister could spiral out of control when he spun “left foot blue.”) 

Simply put, Saturday’s second UFC on Fox event saw its fair share of ups and downs. Chris Weidman was able to score the biggest win of his career over Demian Maia on just 11 days notice (which leads us to believe that the Vegas bookies knew something about Maia the rest of the world didn’t), and both Rashad Evans and Chael Sonnen managed to punch their tickets to a title shot against the men they despise the most. And though the future is set for two contenders, the fates of many still remain unsure. That’s why we are here to right the ship that misplaced NFL theme music and Jon Jones’ “commentary” threatened to sink. So join us as we determine the best match-ups for last weekend’s biggest winners and losers.

Phil Davis: Although he started off strong (or at least held his own) in the striking department in the early going, the championship rounds saw Davis overwhelmed by “Suga’s” speed and stamina, content to throw weak, pawing jabs that were anything but wonderful. My older brother, who is by no means a huge MMA fan, summed it up best when he said, “What does he expect to accomplish with that kind of offense?” Davis undoubtedly has a bright future ahead, but needs to round out his game a little more before he takes on a top contender like Evans again. Matching him up against the resurgent Stephan Bonnar, or, depending on how he fares against Rampage Jackson, Ryan Bader would make sense. Forrest Griffin is also a big light heavyweight coming off a loss, so that could make for a great fight as well.

Swanson vs. Roop provided an early candidate for Side-Punchface of the Year. Props: UFC.com

Remember how last night, you invited your non-MMA fan friends over to introduce them to our sport? You spent the past week talking about how Chael Sonnen is one of the best trash talkers in professional sports, and how technical and talented these fighters were. You figured that after three fights that were guaranteed to be exceptional, your friends would be won over to MMA fandom. Then you’d continue to drink and be merry all night, and we’d all meet up here today for our traditional post-UFC event GIF party where we all high five over how awesome the fights were.

Well, it didn’t quite work out that way. Instead, you found yourself doing damage control as you watched three fights worth of sloppy brawling, wall and stall and Chael Sonnen’s blatant swaggerjacking of homage to “Superstar” Billy Graham. You tried to convince them that the fights are usually nothing like this, and that these guys gassing out and the end of the first round are world class athletes. Eventually, one of your friends said “I bet Pacquiao would destroy ANY of these guys” as the rest of your friends grabbed their coats and said they’d call you next time they wanted to watch the fights.

Okay, so last night sucked. But we’ve been planning this party all week, and we’ll be damned if we cancel it at this point. So grab an alcoholic beverage, put on your gaudiest Affliction shirt and join us for our traditional post-UFC event GIF Party.

As always, praise be to Zombie Prophet at IronForgesIron.com for the GIFS.

Totally illegal in NCAA competition. (Photo: UFC.com)

“It’s usually not like this.” With that text I found myself apologizing to a UFC-virgin for the first time in a long time. My friend had just told me that she was at home watching the the show on FOX, without any provocation from me mind you. “This is that fighting you like, right???”. I assured her that the event had yet to capture the energy and excitement indicative of the sport. “I’m going back and forth between this and figure skating,” she replied. I can’t really say I blame her, either.

While we expected plenty of grappling in the bouts themselves, the wrestling theme seemed to carry on throughout the production at large. The usually-charismatic Jon Jones wrestled with his notes, relying on them not just for in-depth fight analysis but for simple things like his thoughts on fighting Rashad. The opening act wrestled with fatigue, leading to a performance as exhausting for fans as it was for the competitors in the cage. And once again, FOX wrestled with an underwhelming broadcast that left the most exciting action behind in the prelims.

Enough belly aching about the show itself, let’s take a look at what made such a promising event so forgettable for the masses.

“Is it too soon to talk about Sandusky, or should I wait ten years, like Paterno?” Props: MMAJunkie.com

“The House that Jordan Built” is sold out for the UFC’s return to Fox, which features three times as many televised fights as its Fox debut. Can Chris Weidman make a name for himself against Demian Maia? Will Chael Sonnen challenge Anderson Silva to a casket match after tonight’s fight? Does Phil Davis establish himself as a contender at light-heavyweight, or does Rashad Evans set himself up to get overlooked for yet another title shot? We’ll answer all this and more as it unfolds.

Handling liveblogging duties tonight is Seth Falvo, who will be watching the event with some old friends. Please direct all complaints about spelling and grammar, comments about the liveblogger’s sexual preference and unrelated conspiracy theories directly at him. Spoilers after the jump.

Just a friendly reminder that the weigh-ins tomorrow night’s UFC on Fox 2: Evans vs. Davis event will go live at 5:00 pm ET and we’ll have the stream of the festivities for you right here.

Will Chael Sonnen weigh in with his belt on? Will Arianny go bananas over Phil Davis and Rashad Evans like she did Alistair Overeem? Will Dana White wear an “I Love Nerds” t-shirt?

All of these questions and more will be answered soon.
Check out the stream after the jump.

(UFC on Fox 2: Evil Twins.)

Just a friendly reminder that you can watch the Chael Sonnen Show UFC on Fox: Evans vs. Davis pre-fight press conference live right here starting at 2:00 pm ET sharp.

The smack talk between Sonnen and Bisping will likely be taken to the next level when the two of them are seated within ten feet of each other, so it’s definitely worth checking out.

Let us know your picks for Saturday night in the comment section while we wait for this thing to start.

The video feed is after the jump.

(Rashad Evans: He’ll put those hands on you worse than…well, you know. / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

The UFC returns to FOX this Saturday with a three-fight main card that could produce the next title contenders in two different divisions. It’s also packed with betting opportunities that will generously reward the risk-takers. And you’re not a chicken, are you? Huh? Bawk bawk bawwwwwk?? Yeah, that’s what we thought. So consider our UFC on FOX 2: Evans vs. Davis gambling advice after the jump, and be sure to come back for our liveblog, which kicks off at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT. But first, the complete odds lineup, via BestFightOdds.com:

MAIN CARD (FOX)
Rashad Evans (-165) vs. Phil Davis (+175)
Chael Sonnen (-400) vs. Michael Bisping (+394)
Chris Weidman (-140) vs. Demian Maia (+128)

PRELIMINARY CARD (FUEL TV)
Evan Dunham (-314) vs. Nik Lentz (+300)
Shane Roller (-218) vs. Michael Johnson (+200)
Mike Russow (-150) vs. Jon Olav Einemo (+152)
Cub Swanson (-136) vs. George Roop (+125)
Charles Oliveira (-458) vs. Eric Wisely (+400)
Joey Beltran (-204) vs. Lavar Johnson (+183)

PRELIMINARY CARD (FACEBOOK.com/UFC)
Chris Camozzi (-170) vs. Dustin Jacoby (+160)

Let’s get started…

(Today’s required viewing: “Fight Factory” goes deep inside the world of American Kickboxing Academy. Props to nuvoTV via BloodyElbow. Skip to the 12:43 mark to see Phil Baroni’s infamous bodybuilding video get a different reaction than he was looking for.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…

- Daniel James Miller’s Kidney Transplant on Hold (MMA Fighting)

- It’s a Wonderful Life: Phil Davis UFC on FOX 2 Interview Exclusive (MMA Mania)

- Will the Real Chael Sonnen Please Stand Up: Inside the Contender’s Training Camp (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Demian Maia Talks Silva vs. Sonnen, Says Chris Weidman Is “The Real Deal” (Lowkick.Blitzcorner.com)

- The Karate Hottie Pulled Off a Slick Rear-Naked Choke Last Night and Here’s the Video (MiddleEasy)

- Jon Jones: “Rashad’s Chin Sucks” (Five Ounces of Pain)

- UFC Issues Statement Regarding UFC.com Hackers (5th Round)

- Great Wrestling Moments in MMA History (MMA Convert)

- Culinary Union Attacks UFC on Fox 2 Show With New Anti-MMA Website (The Fight Nerd)

- ESPN’s John Barr on UFC Pay Report Blowback: “It’s Not Our Charge to Do Your Public Relations” (Fight Opinion)

- Diego Sanchez Predicts All-Out War With Jake Ellenberger (FightLine)

- HDNet to Be Rebranded as AXS TV (MMA Payout)

(Dan Henderson vs. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira highlights, via DJIL PROD)

Fun fact: Alexander Gustafsson only got the UFC on FUEL 2 headlining spot against Antonio Rogerio Nogueira because Dan Henderson turned the fight down first. As Ariel Helwani reported on UFC Tonight and via Twitter, ”the original plan was if [Rashad] Evans beat [Phil] Davis, he would face [Jon] Jones. The winner of Hendo/Nog would then fight for the #1 contender. Now, since Hendo turned down the Nog fight, his status is unclear.”

Henderson says he had several good reasons for passing on Lil’ Nog, who previously submitted him by armbar at Pride Total Elimination 2005. As he explained on Clinch Gear Radio:

“I was under the impression that [UFC President Dana White] still kind of was on the fence whether he was going to put me in front of Rashad or not, that’s assuming Rashad wins. [White] did offer me a fight with ‘Little Nogueira.’ I didn’t think the fans would be interested in that fight, and not as much time as I would like to prepare for a five-round fight. So I told him I would wait to see what happened with the Rashad fight. I would like to fight Jones now rather than if I took that fight with ‘Little Nog,’ I wouldn’t be fighting Jones until another eight-nine months…

(Similar to Georges St.Pierre, MMA pundits, and most fans heading into UFC 129, Dana White was looking right past Jake Shields.)

2011 is approaching it’s final hour, Potato Nation, and when we typically take a look back at the year that was, we often lump things in terms of the very best, and more often than not, the very worst. But even though it has been arguably the biggest year in the sport’s History, it hasn’t gone without it’s fair share of snoozefests, sparring matches, and fights that simply didn’t live up to their own hype. For every Rua/Hendo, there was a Torres/Banuelos, so to speak, that kept us from having a full-on Chuck Liddell style freak out. It’s not that these fights made us angry, it’s just that they failed to make us feel anything.

In a way, they were actually a good thing for the sport, as they raised our appreciation for the epic slugfests, the back and forth brawls, and the technical battles to new heights. So it is for these unsung heroes that we bring you The Ten Most Forgettable Fights of 2011, presented in chronological order.

#10: Jacob Volkmann vs. Antonio Mckee

We know what you’re thinking, Potatoites, you’re thinking, “My God, it’s only been a year since this clown (dis)graced the UFC with that performance?” Well the answer is yes, and almost to the exact date. On January 1st at UFC 125, Anthony Mckee made his long awaited debut in the UFC. And when we say “long awaited,” we mean by none other than Mckee himself. You see, Anthony Mckee followed the James Toney method of trolling his way into the UFC through a shitstorm of self absorbed and ridiculous claims, despite only claiming seven finishes in his previous thirty contests. Well, DW took the bait, and threw Mckee humble wrestler and future threat to Homeland Security, Jacob Volkmann, for his big debut.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/FightersOnlyMagazine)

Heads up: last week’s Fighters Only World MMA Awards will air tomorrow night at 8pm (ET) on FSN. Judging by their selection of Chael Sonnen as this year’s host, the show’s producers are hoping to add a little heat to their event much like the Golden Globes did courtesy of host Ricky Gervais.

If you needed further evidence that somebody’s going to get all butthurt tomorrow, the above video featuring UFC bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz and light-heavyweight contender Phil Davis doesn’t pull any punches. As they climb through a storage unit, the duo take shots at Arianny Celeste, Jon Jones, Cecil Peoples, Wanderlei Silva, and more. It’s definitely worth a couple of minutes of your time.

Yesterday’s skit probably reminded you that a good chin doesn’t always equate to strong acting chops. Then again, there’s only so much you can do with the script you’re handed. Speaking of which, the comedic stylings of Frank Mir await you after the jump.