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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: politics

UFC 154 Video: Carlos Condit’s Political Attack Ad Against Georges St. Pierre


(Props: UFC)

Carlos Condit‘s platform of “Knockouts…Knockouts…Shorts” may sound nice, but his last fight proved that he’s beholden to the same special interests that Georges St. Pierre is. For real change in the welterweight division, you should go with the third-party candidate.

Actually, the first thing this video makes me think about is all the Americans who will buy the UFC 154 pay-per-view next month but won’t bother to vote in the presidential election next week. Get it together, people. If you don’t vote, you don’t get to bitch and moan for the next four years when your guy loses.

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Chris Lytle Loses Indiana State Senate Election


(The quiet confidence that comes from knowing that, even if you lost at the polls, you could still easily beat your opponent up if you needed to. | Photo via Lytle For Indiana)

Retired UFC star Chris Lytle turned to politics a month after his final fight — a submission win over former #1 contender Dan Hardy — and last night that dream, as Jon Anik might say, ended. Lytle came in second in the three-candidate Republican Primary race for Indiana’s 28th Senate District.

Mike Crider earned the nomination with 41% of the vote, to Lytle’s 30%. Last night Lytle tweeted his concession,“Almost. I finished 2nd. It was a good fight.”

For a first-time political candidate, it absolutely was. And even if the self-described “constitutional conservative,” never attains elected office, at least he can say he tapped out someone that the greatest welterweight in history couldn’t finish, at the end of a wildly entertaining fight career that saw him earn more end-of-of-night bonuses than anybody in UFC history. Also, we got to see him a suit, so there’s that.

Since 1999, we’ve seen Lytle as a world-class fighter, a fireman, and a political hopeful. (This guy raises his beer to you, buddy.) We wish Lights Out the best in whatever he puts his hands to next.

-Elias Cepeda

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Chris Lytle Throws His Hat in the Ring For Indiana State Senate Seat


(Video courtesy of YouTube/HoosierAccess)

When Chris Lytle announced that he would be retiring after his submission win over Dan Hardy at UFC Live: Hardy vs. Lytle on August 14, he made mention that a future in politics was something that might be in the cards for him. Apparently the longtime Indianapolis firefighter was serious about the aspiration as he announced during a press conference earlier today that he will indeed be running for a seat in Indiana’s House of Representatives for District 28.

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DanaVlog: Furthering the Myth that Everyone Should Vote, Plus UFC Fighters Love Them Some Cain Velasquez


(VidProps: YouTube/UFC)

Big DW’s latest video blog finds him doing no shortage of totally weird shit leading up to UFC 121 this Saturday. First, we get a closer look at White stumping for senate majority leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) alongside – even weirder – Chuck Liddell at a rally in Reno. A bit later, Our Fearless Leader and a few of his faithful employees get dressed up like an R&B group out to shoot the cover of their Christmas album as part of a photo-op for Playboy. (Ed. Note: CagePotato will not, we repeat not, be publishing any poor quality digital stills of this spread. We’re still hoping to rollover at least a few of our weekend minutes.)

During the rallies, White makes sure to point out to the live crowd that he’s “not very political or politically correct” (No, really?) and that he’s just there to spread the word about the importance of voting. After all, there’s nothing more American than blindly appealing to all people to “get out there and vote.” This despite the cruel reality that people who are “not very political” and/or can’t be trusted to look after their own best interests actually shouldn’t vote. That’s how people like this win elections. To his credit, Dana advises us to “do our homework” before we take to the polls, so at least his heart is in the right place. Oddly, there is no footage here of “The Iceman” addressing the political rallies. His speeches much have been too long and too nuanced to edit neatly into a 12 minute blog.

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Contributions Show UFC Isn’t as Powerless Against ‘The Government’ As Dana Would Have Us Believe


(The face of an angel. PicProps: Boston Globe)

One of the more hilarious (and largely overlooked) aspects of the UFC’s response to the recent Chael Sonnen steroid fiasco was that whenever anybody asked Dana White about drug testing in MMA he basically threw his hands up and said the company couldn’t have anything to do with it, because “The Government” is in charge of that. For example, when White discussed the topic with Ariel Helwani before UFC 119 he took on a wide-eyed reverence that was so un-Dana it was clear he was just sticking to the company-approved talking points: “Everybody has this belief that, ‘Oh, Dana White has the commissions in (his pocket).’ Listen, the commission doesn’t give a shit what I think — what I think, what I say, nothing,” White said. “You’re dealing with the government, OK? That’s like thinking Dana White can tell the IRS what to do. It’s never gonna happen.”

Now, either DW is the only millionaire businessman in America who thinks “The Government” is doing a great job regulating his industry … or he’s bullshitting us. Obviously, his equating state athletic commissions with the IRS is laughable, but the assertion that a billion dollar company like the UFC couldn’t possibly get involved with “The Government” is also pretty clearly not true. In fact, according to reports out this week, Zuffa, LLC would very much like to take an active role in helping New York state pick its next governor, and this is certainly not the first time the UFC has dipped into its pockets to help sway “The Government” to its way of thinking.

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Chael Sonnen Completes First Step to Becoming President of the United States

 Chael Sonnen Nate Marquardt UFC 109
(Sonnen vows to "bring taxes down, and lay on top of them until my term ends.")

While some fighters can’t even be bothered to show up for practice more than four times in a given week, Chael Sonnen is trying to secure a spot in the Oregon House of Representatives, in the same year that he’s preparing for the biggest fight of his life. On Tuesday, the UFC’s #1 middleweight contender claimed a "landslide" victory in the Republican Party primaries for Oregon’s 37th District, picking up 99.13% of the vote. We should probably mention that Sonnen ran unopposed, and the remaining 0.87% percent of the vote was made up of write-in ballots, most of which probably went to Anderson Silva. But still, Chael’s got momentum on his side. You can learn more about his platform at VoteSonnen.com, where he’s described as a "successful realtor and vice president of Caged Promotions, a sports and music promotion and production company." Sonnen’s main gig as one of MMA’s most insane heels is mentioned nowhere on the site.

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Friday Link Dump


(Oh. No. She. Didn’t.)

- Matt Lindland’s MMA career now fodder for political smear campaign. (MMA Payout)

- Dana White says Anderson Silva could fight GSP, but never B.J. Penn. (The Sun)

- Little Nog is headed to Japan again, this time for Sengoku. (Fight Ticker)

- Chris Horodecki considering a fight in Japan while he waits for Affliction II. (MMA Weekly)

- Tim Sylvia headed to Dream or Sengoku? Really? (Nightmare of Battle)

- Fedor could fight Arlovski next, or Barnett. Who knows!? (MMA Fanhouse)

- Chuck Liddell turned away from big shot nightclub, and he’s not pleased. (TMZ)

- Robert Drysdale talks MMA debut. (Tatame)

- A movie trailer that is better than most actual movies. (Holy Taco)

- Life after Lehman Brothers. (Wall Street Fighter)

- Seven most underrated hot chicks on TV. (Screen Junkies)

- Brtual broken bottle beatdown. (Nothing Toxic)

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Matt Lindland Endures First Smear Campaign

Matt Lindland MMA
(“The Law” will sue you so fast your head will spin. Believe that.)

You can train to escape a triangle choke, and you can train to avoid taking serious damage when you’re mounted, but it’s hard to prepare for the first time your name is dragged through the mud in public. Northwest NewsChannel 8 reports that “The Law” — who’s currently running for a seat in Oregon’s House of Representatives — is threatening the campaign consultant of his opponent with a lawsuit, alleging that Elaine Franklin told several Republican leaders that Lindland was a convicted felon:

Oregon Right to Life Director Gayle Atteberry, told NewsChannel 8 that Franklin called her last month. She said Franklin asked her if she realized that Lindland had a felony on his record. Atteberry, who said ORTL endorses Lindland, couldn’t believe what she heard.

“I was upset by what (Franklin) told me, so I checked (Lindland’s) records and learned the truth [which] is that he didn’t have a felony.”

Lindland’s opponent, Phyllis Thiemann, distanced herself from Franklin’s dirty tactics in the most passive-aggressive way possible. An e-mail she sent to Lindland read:

“I am not aware of what Elaine Franklin may or may not have told others…Although I have a copy of your prior conviction, I have never intended to use it in my campaign and still do not.”

Except that conviction wasn’t for a felony at all, but for a Class 3 misdemeanor he received when he was working in the produce section of a grocery store when he was 19. Lindland was told to throw out loads of old produce, but kept about $30 dollars worth; he was caught, and was hit with 30 hours of community service, a year of probation, and a $20 fine. As Lindland, who has fully repaid his debt to society, explained:

“I thought, ‘this is a waste, I’ve got a lot of hungry wrestlers who’ll eat this stuff,’ but it wasn’t my produce to give away. It hasn’t been brought up and 19 years later, I run for office and Elaine Franklin decides to drag it out and turn it into a felony.”

Hero to the working man, much? Lindland claims that he’ll file a defamation lawsuit against Elaine Franklin if she doesn’t publicly go on the record that she knew Lindland wasn’t a convicted felon when she made her statements.

Matt, listen: You may think you’re tough because you fight in a cage, but these local politicians are a totally different breed. Rotten Vegetable-gate is just the beginning. They live to drag out the ol’ closet-skeletons. The public will forgive a little dumpster diving — but wait until this photo mysteriously surfaces just days before the election. “Wrestling,” huh?

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Would You Vote for This Man?

ML
(“Before I tried Subway’s ‘Go Straight!’ diet, this is what my pants used to look like.”)

I don’t pretend to know anything about the Oregon political scene — and apparently neither does the state’s Republican party, who failed to submit candidates for several critical offices in time for yesterday’s deadline to file. Basically, shit’s in shambles, and MMA star Matt Lindland is trying to capitalize:

[As] is traditional on the filing deadline day, there were a few last-minute surprises. Republican House hopefuls will include both a former U.S. Congressman, Jim Bunn, who filed on Tuesday for the McMinnville seat held by retiring Rep. Donna Nelson, and an ultimate fighting champion, middleweight Matt Lindland of Eagle Creek, who is running for the seat vacated by retiring Rep. Patti Smith, R-Corbett.

Lindland is running on the following four-part platform:

— Increased school funding.

— A temporary sanction on non-domestic armbars.

— Abolishment of the 6% gross receipts tax on Oregon MMA events, and significant tax breaks for IFL coaches.

— The recognition of BodogFight as a terrorist organization, and large foreheads as “God’s Beautiful Creation.”

We’ll let you know when Lindland’s once-respectable image is brought down by the inevitable sex-scandal.

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Omarosa Is a Despicable Bitch; Tiffany Fallon Is Fired First on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’

Tiff

90% of my interest in watching NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice was dashed last night, thanks to the conniving, under-the-bus-throwing ways of Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, the most awful person ever featured on network television.

The season premiere involved a hot dog-selling contest, where the celebs (divided by gender) did battle to raise the most money for charity. Manigault-Stallworth quickly established herself as the biggest, dumbest asshole in room, demanding to be team leader and crafting a plan that involved pushing the hot dogs rather than their celebrity star power. Obviously, the guys dominated, and OMS scrambled to find a fall girl.

She found her mark in poor, sweet Tiffany, who was blamed for not fully exploiting her sex appeal or hitting up Hugh Hefner for money. The former Playmate of the Year was given the show’s first pink slip, thus reducing the show’s remaining eye-candy to Carol Alt (too old) and Jennie Finch (too softball player-ish).

Tito Ortiz (who represented the remaining 10% of my interest in this show) got a small amount of screen time in the episode, sparring with Lennox Lewis to draw interest in his team’s hot dog stand, and posing with girlfriend Jenna Jameson as she stopped by to suck down some meat for charity. “Anything for my man,” she said — quite a woman, that Jenna.

Also, Mike Huckabee and Barack Obama won something or other last night, but I wasn’t really paying attention.

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