MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: ProFC

Aleksander Emelianenko to Earn Next Paycheck Against TUF 10 Whipping-Boy Darrill Schoonover


(Do you ever get the feeling that the Emelianenko brothers have Bill Cosby tied up in a closet somewhere? / Photo via MMAWeekly)

After emerging from a retirement that lasted all 12 days of Christmas, nomadic heavyweight Aleksander Emelianenko has been on quite a tear in 2013. He beat up Bob Sapp, he beat up Some Dude, and he got us all hot and bothered by appearing on a poster with Cro Cop. Indeed, the life of a can-crushing international playboy was too seductive to avoid forever. Not that baking bread in a Greek monastery isn’t totally awesome, and all.

Which brings us to Alek’s latest not-particularly-competitive booking: Fightlinker passes along the announcement that Emelianenko will return at an August 25th ProFC show in Rostov-on-Don, where he’ll face Darrill Schoonover, the Texas-bred heavyweight and TUF 10 castmember who is perhaps known best as…yeah…Titties. (Man, Rampage Jackson is just a master when it comes to personal branding.)

Schoonover was a hot prospect when he entered The Ultimate Fighter in 2009, carrying a 10-0 record (all wins by stoppage) and the title of Shark Fights Heavyweight Champion. Then, he went on Kimbo’s season of the reality show, got knocked out in the quarterfinals by Marcus Jones, got TKO’d by James McSweeney at the TUF 10 Finale, then lost four more fights in the minor leagues. But Schoonover is currently on a three-fight win streak, and even pulled off a decision win against Paul Buentello last year.

So…any predictions on this one? The most accurate guess wins this cool rock I just found outside of my house.

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CagePotato Ban: MMA Fighters Announcing Their Retirement, Then Immediately Unretiring


(Okay, okay, okay, *you* can do whatever you want, Aleks. Just stop looking at us like that.) 

Earlier today, it was announced that former PRIDE star and perpetual blue-balled can crusher, Aleksander Emelianenko, had signed a multi-fight deal with the Russian organization ProFC. Which would be fine, had Emelianenko not announced his retirement from the sport three months earlier after being shitcanned by M-1 Global. Many of you are probably wondering why we are wasting our time poking fun at a long-since relevant Emelianenko brother when we could be, I dunno, predicting who is most likely to test positive for quaaludes at UFC 159, but Aleks’ recent revelation highlights a growing problem amongst MMA fighters: understanding what the term “retirement” is supposed to mean.

Look, we get it. Everyone from Michael Jordan to Muhammad Ali have announced their retirement from their respective sports in the past, only to recant shortly thereafter. It’s understandable to a degree, especially in the fight game. A guy suffers a couple tough losses, begins to fear for his own health, and decides that it is in his best interest — as well as his family’s — to call it a career before he suffers an injury he cannot come back from. Then, after adjusting to the stale, mundane existence that constitutes the lives of most non-fighters, he begins to convince himself that he’s always had “it,” but has just been held back by issues in his training camp, at home, in their own mind etc. — issues which are now completely behind him. If only it were that simple.

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